"What the hell is this?" Jack said, and she looked up from her book to see him coming out of the dining room, holding one of her running cups.
"British novelty china," she said. "I'm collecting it."
"You've got these things crammed in with our good china."
"Your mother's good china," Suze said and went back to her book.
"I don't think it's a good idea to put this cheap stuff in there, too," Jack said, and she looked up to see him turn the cup over to look at the bottom and lose his hold on it. It hit the hardwood floor, and the bowl broke in half, separating from the legs at the same time.
"Jack!" Suze threw her book to one side as she went down on her knees to gather up the pieces.
"I'm sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. "It's that cheap stuff-"
"This is a Caribbean Running Cup," she said, trying to fit the pieces back together. "It's from the 1970s and it was worth seventy-five dollars."
"That thing?" Jack sounded incredulous.
Suze ignored him to carry the cup pieces through the dining room and into the kitchen, looking for glue.
He followed her. "Is this something else Nell's talked you into? You don't need her china, you have the Dysart Spode."
Suze put the pieces on the counter and looked at them, sick to her stomach. Even if she glued it back together, it would be broken. She touched the big yellow shoes and noticed a chip in one. "Damn it," she said and went back to the living room to search for the missing piece of yellow glaze.
Jack followed her again. "I can't believe you're spending my money on these stupid cups."
"I'm spending my money." She got down on her knees and searched the floor, tilting her head to see if the shiny chip would catch the lamplight.
"You don't have any money," Jack said.
She squinted at the floor and said, "Yes, I do. I'm working."
"You're what?"
There it was. She moistened the tip of her finger and picked up the chip. Then she stood up and said, "I've been working part-time for the McKennas for a while now."
"Working?" Jack said, making it sound like cheating.
"Yes," Suze said, and went back to the kitchen. She put the chip on the counter and unscrewed the orange plastic top on the glue bottle.
"Suze," Jack said following her, "you can't be-"
"I'm a decoy," Suze said, trying to figure out the best order for gluing. She squirted glue on the Formica counter and dipped the white side of the chip in it. "People hire the McKennas to find out if their partners are cheating on them, and I'm the one who gives the guys the opportunity to cheat."
"You're doing what?"
She put the chip back onto the yellow shoe carefully, moving it into place with her fingernail. Maybe she should glue the shoe and the cup separately and then glue the shoes to the cup later when the first mends were dry.
"Suze," Jack said, and she turned to see him flushed with anger. "I told you I didn't want you seeing Nell so much, and now you're working with her? Picking up guys in bars?"
"Nothing happens, Jack, I just talk." She turned back to the counter and picked up the two halves of the cup, dipping their edges in the white glue. "Riley's there the whole time, and he'd kill me if I ever went too far."
"Riley McKenna?"
"In fact," she added, ignoring his roar while she held the two pieces of the cup together, "that's why I'm doing it. Nell screwed up, and they won't let her do it anymore so-"
"Well, you're not doing it, either," Jack snapped. "Jesus Christ, Suze, have you lost your mind? You are not-"
"Yes, I am." Suze leaned against the cupboard, holding the cup pieces together. "I like working for the McKennas, and there's no reason for you not to trust me, so I'm not quitting." She took a deep breath and said, "It's not fair of you to ask me to."
"Not fair?" Jack looked apoplectic. "You're sleeping with Riley McKenna, that's why won't you quit, and I won't-"
Suze sighed. "I am not sleeping with Riley." When he didn't look convinced, she added, "Nell's sleeping with him. And I won't quit because I like having a job, and it doesn't get in the way of anything I have to do for you or with you, and if you don't trust me enough to let me work then I think we'd better see a marriage counselor because we're in big trouble." She ran out of breath at the end and stopped to recoup.
"Nell's sleeping with him?" Jack sounded taken aback and then scowled down at her again. "I don't believe it. She's at least ten years older than he is. Nobody in his right mind would sleep with her when he could have you."
"Hey!" Suze met his eyes. "That's my best friend you're talking about, and you are a big hypocrite. You're twenty-two years older than I am and that's never bothered you."
"It's different for women," Jack said. "Trust me."
"Trust you?" Suze said. "Why should I? You don't trust me, and I'm starting to think maybe you're projecting."
"Psych 101?" Jack said, and Suze kept talking right over him.
"You're thinking about cheating on me and so you're extra suspicious, which is really rotten of you. And there are a lot of reasons somebody would rather have Nell than me because she's smart and funny and independent and allowed to go out at night without some jackass accusing her of adultery and breaking her china. What are you going to do when I get to be Nell's age and you meet somebody who's younger than I am? Dump me because nobody
would choose a forty-year-old over a thirty-something? Because if that's true, you can just leave now and spare me the suspense."
"Calm down," Jack said, clearly taken aback. "Just calm down. Of course, I'm not cheating. I'm just surprised about Nell, that's all. Tim said she was lousy in bed."
Suze felt herself grow hot. "I'd be lousy in bed, too, if that son of a bitch was there. Riley seems to be pretty happy with her, and I gotta tell you, Nell sounded surprised when she talked about the way he makes love, so I'm betting Tim is just a crummy lover. And she was stuck with him for twenty-two years so she deserves some good stuff with a younger guy who knows what he's doing."
"How do you know he knows what he's doing?" Jack said, his face darkening with suspicion again.
"You know, if you get any dumber…" Suze put the glued cup carefully on the counter and turned back to him. "If you want to talk about this again, you act like an intelligent adult and not a tantrum-throwing baby. This is the dumbest fight we've ever had, and you started it because you didn't trust me. I'm not kidding, we need counseling if you really honest-to-God think I'd cheat. Don't you know me at all?"
Jack closed his eyes. "I don't know. I just hear Riley McKenna's name and I go crazy." He looked at her again. "But you did lie to me. You got a job."
"Yeah, well, I knew you'd do this I-am-master thing and tell me I wasn't allowed to," Suze said. "I'm tired of that. I want a husband and a partner, not a daddy. I'm thirty-two years old and I have a job. That's not abnormal. Hell, all I wanted was to buy some egg cups." She looked down at the counter, at the legless cup and the chipped shoes and gritted her teeth to keep from screaming at him.
"You don't need to work," Jack said, stubbornly. "If you want the damn cups, just buy them. It's not the work, anyway, it's that you didn't tell me. You lied to me, and you wonder why I think you'd cheat on me?"
"Keep this up, and I will." Suze picked up the two china pieces and left him standing in the kitchen, taking the living room stairs two at a time to get away from him. She locked herself in Jack's office, called Nell, and got her machine.
"I just told Jack about the job," she said. "He thinks I'm sleeping with Riley, can you believe it? I told him you were. Go have sex with Riley again, so I'm not stretching the truth."
She hung up the phone and logged.onto e-Bay to take her mind off her anger and what she thought might be fear. Too much, too soon, that was the problem with that conversation. She did a search for Walking Ware and found three plain running egg cups, selling for too much, but she didn't care. She put an eighty-dollar reserve on each of them-you'd have to be nuts to pay eighty dollars for a plain egg cup, which meant she probably had them-and sat back to contemplate her bids. She was shaking, she realized, and it wasn't from overpaying for egg cups.
I'm really glad I did that, she told herself, as she touched the broken pieces of cup. It was insane that he didn't want her to have a job. Insane and controlling and paternalistic and anti-feminist and
What if he leaves me?
She shivered at the thought, her entire body going cold. She'd be alone. She'd been lonely before she met him, her mother always at work, her father long gone, and then Jack had been there, swearing he always would be there, that she'd never be alone again. And she hadn't been, ever.
But he could leave her over this. And it'd be her fault.
Suze slumped back in her chair. There was a distinct possibility that she'd just been really stupid. Had she just jeopardized her marriage for a part-time job and some china? That was going to be cold comfort if she lost the only man she'd ever loved. Okay, yes, he was being a bastard, but he was afraid, she'd seen it in his eyes. He thought he was too old for her. He thought he was losing her. He might be, she thought, and then she thought, No. She knew exactly how he felt. She'd been afraid for fourteen years that he'd betray her the way he'd betrayed Abby and Vicki, that she'd be alone like they were. It had been awful, and now he was feeling it, too.
She disconnected from the network and slowly pushed her chair back. She didn't need a job if it did that to Jack, if it made them fight like this.
She went back down the stairs slowly and found Jack in the kitchen, hanging up the phone. He looked at her defiantly, and she said, "If it bothers you that much, I'll quit."
"That's my girl." Jack held out his arms, and when she didn't walk into them, he went to her, and she let him hug her. "I'm sorry, Suze, I just lost it. I know you wouldn't cheat, you didn't deserve that. You deserve an apology, something better than an apology. How about if we go out and get you a little something later?"
As long as it's not a divorce, Suze thought and disentangled herself as soon as she could to go back upstairs and glue the last two pieces of the cup together, trying not to feel depressed, and trying even harder not to be angry.
The next afternoon, Suze called the agency to tell Riley she was quitting.
"He's not here," Nell said.
"You sound awful," Suze said. "What's wrong?"
"Another run-in with Gabe," Nell said. "Usually the yelling doesn't bother me, but I'm tired today. At least his furniture is back. That should help."
"Maybe you should stop doing the stuff that makes him yell," Suze said, thinking of Jack.
"I don't think so," Nell said. "Then he'll think yelling is a solution. He apologized before he left and he's taking me to dinner, so it's all right."
"Really?" Suze said.
"We're meeting Riley at the Sycamore at six-thirty. Is Jack going to be home then?"
"No," Suze said. "He has some business thing. We're eating at nine."
"Meet us there," Nell said, and Suze thought, What the hell.
She got to the Sycamore a little early and saw Riley sitting at a table by the window. He waved at her, and she went over and sat down across from him.
"Nell said you wanted to talk." He sounded mad, but his face was blank.
"I'm quitting," she said. "The decoy stuff."
"Okay."
"That's all? Just 'okay'?"
"Jack found out, right?"
She wanted to smack him. "Maybe I'm just tired of working for you." The waitress came by and she said, "Iced tea, no lemon, please." Then she looked at Riley, nursing a beer with his back to the stained-glass panel in the window, staring past her as if she wasn't there.
"You know, I'm glad Nell's late," Suze said, "because I want to know your intentions."
"What intentions?" Riley said. "I have no intentions."
"Your intentions for Nell," Suze said patiently. "You remember, the redhead you're sleeping with?"
"Slept with," Riley said. "Three months ago. That's over. It was over after one night, which she undoubtedly told you."
Suze narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table, looking for a fight with somebody she could afford to fight with. "You dumped her? Do you know what she went through with that jackass she married? And now you-"
"Back off, Barbie. All she wanted was a one-night stand. It's part of the recovery process."
"Don't give me that."
"She was just trying it on. Happens all the time."
"And you know this how?"
"Because my job puts me into close proximity to people who have just discovered that their relationships are over. Which often leads to me getting hit on by those who prefer men in their beds."
Suze shook her head in disbelief. "And you perform this service-?"
"Usually, no. Nell's a good woman who was having a bad time."
"And you wanted sex."
"I had a date that night. If I just wanted sex, I could have had sex."
"You had sex with somebody else after you slept with Nell?"
"No," Riley said, his patience clearly wearing thin. "I called and canceled. Now I'm tired of this conversation. What's new in your life? Assuming Jack lets you have anything new in your life."
"So Nell's all alone again," Suze said. "You gave her a one-night stand-"
"Nell is not alone. Nell has you and Margie and me and Gabe and her kid and probably a cast of thousands I don't know about. She went a little nuts because that's what happens after a breakup, but she's moving in the right direction now. She's eating again and ripping the office apart and fighting with Gabe, and she looks pretty good to me. Give her time, she'll find somebody new."
"How much time? I don't want her to be alone, it's awful to be alone."
"How would you know?" Riley said, looking past her again.
"I can imagine," Suze said. "I know it's awful. She should have found somebody by now."
"Two years," Riley said, lowering his head a little.
Suze turned around to see what he was looking at and saw a restaurant full of people eating. "What?"
"That's the average recovery time after a divorce. Two years."
"Oh, God." Suze counted back. "She got divorced a year ago last July. That's another seven months yet. That's too long."
"Susannah," Riley said, with enough gravity that Suze paid attention. "Leave her alone. She's doing fine."
"I can't stand it that she's alone," Suze said.
"No, you think you couldn't stand it if you were alone." Riley smiled past her.
Suze turned around again and spotted a brunette across the room, smiling back. She faced Riley again, annoyed. "What kind of a woman would flirt with a man who was with somebody?"
"I'm not with you," Riley said, keeping his eyes on the brunette. "We're just sitting at the same table."
"But she doesn't know that." Suze looked back at the brunette with contempt. It was women like this who broke up marriages.
"Sure she knows."
"How? What'd you do? Send her a note?"
"Body language. We're both leaning away from each other. Plus you've been yapping at me for fifteen minutes now, so even if we were together, it would not be for long."
"God knows, that's true," Suze said, settling even farther back from him. "I can't imagine what Nell saw in you."
"You don't have to," Riley said, still smiling at the brunette. "She told you. Blow by blow, I'll bet."
"This is what I need," Suze said. "You talking dirty to me at the Sycamore."
"That's not what you need." Riley stood and picked up his glass. "But what you need, you can't get because you married a dickhead." He took her glass, too, and said, "I'll get you a refill," and was gone before Suze could say, "I don't want a refill."
She watched him while he stopped by the brunette's table, watched the brunette's smile widen as he talked, and then watched her laugh as he went on to the bar.
How very cheap of that brunette, letting him pick her up like that. Well, thank God she wasn't looking for somebody if this was what it was like in the world of dating. Thank God she "had Jack.
Suze tamed back to look out the window at the brick street in front of the restaurant. The sun was going down, and the Village was getting the timeless look it always took on at sunset, beautiful and moody. I love it here, she thought. Why aren't I happy?
Except she was happy. It was the twilight. Twilight was always melancholy, and melancholy beauty could make anybody a little heartsick. She'd be fine when the sun came up again.
Riley put her glass in front of her and sat down across from her again, blocking her view of the dusky street. "You didn't even ask me what I was drinking," Suze said.
"Taste it."
She took a sip. Iced tea, no lemon. "I pay attention," Riley said.
"So she let you pick her up in front of me. Has she no ethics?"
"God, I hope not," Riley said. "Also, I told her you were my sister."
He looked so calm across from her, so confident that he knew everything, and she felt the sudden urge to disconcert. If she leaned over and kissed him, the brunette would know she wasn't his sister. That would fix him. "What?" Riley said, looking less confident. "I didn't say anything," Suze said.
"No, but your expression changed," Riley said. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it."
"I wouldn't do it anyway. No guts."
"Good. I hate women with guts. I like 'em pliant."
"I am not pliant," Suze said. "Another reason we're not together," Riley said.
The chair beside her scraped, and Nell said, "Why are you frowning at each other?" as she sat down. She looked tired but relaxed, so the fight with Gabe must have ended. "Low-class company," Suze said, moving her feet so
Marlene could hide out under the table.
"Thank you very much," Gabe said, taking the seat beside Riley.
"So how was your day?" Suze said brightly and then didn't listen, choosing to watch Riley laugh with Nell and make eye contact with the brunette instead, clearly not caring that she was out of his life.
When Riley and Nell went to the bar for refills, Gabe said, "So how's your life?"
"I have to quit the decoys," she said. "I'm sorry. I really, really am."
"So are we," he said. "You were great to work with."
"Thank you." She looked away so he wouldn't see how much it mattered to her and saw Nell, laughing with Riley at the bar. "She looks wonderful, doesn't she?" Suze said, turning back to Gabe. "So bright and happy."
Gabe nodded, watching Nell, too. " 'The shape a bright container can contain.'"
Suze blinked at him, amazed. In a million years, she wouldn't have suspected Gabe McKenna of quoting poetry. "Roethke?"
Gabe looked taken aback, too. "Yeah. He was my dad's favorite. He used to recite that one to my mother all the time. Nell makes me think of it sometimes." He frowned at her. "How do you know Roethke?"
"English 361," Suze said, "Introduction to Poetry." When she got home, she was going to find her old anthology and see if that poem was as erotic as she remembered. Even if it wasn't, she was sure it was a great love poem. Maybe Nell wasn't alone after all.
It would be too terrible if Nell was alone.
Two hours later, Suze and Riley had both gone, and Nell was finishing off the last of her French Silk pie and trying to figure out the undercurrents of the evening. Gabe nursed a beer across from her, looking mildly annoyed because Trevor had called earlier and offered her a job again.
"Okay," she said. "I don't get what all that tension was about. Riley was a lot more upset about Suze quitting than he let on. What's up with that?"
"There's some history there," Gabe said. "Listen, when Trevor called, did he say Jack had told him to offer you that job?"
"No," Nell said. "And there is no history. Suze never met Riley before the night we stole Marlene. Their entire relationship is fourteen decoy jobs."
"True," Gabe said. "I'm asking about Trevor because it's not like him to take direct action. Jack, yes, Trevor, no. Trevor waits."
"He didn't say." Nell leaned forward over her empty plate to look him in the eye. "You told me you investigated Jack's divorces. Are you telling me, you investigated Suze?"
"You sure you've told me everything you know about Margie?"
"Vicki hired you to find out about Suze and Jack," Nell said. "My God. That's when Riley saw Suze?"
Gabe nodded, giving up as she knew he would. "Through a motel window stripping for Jack in a cheerleader uniform. At eighteen. It permanently damaged him." He stared into space for a moment, looking thoughtful.
Nell narrowed her eyes. "And you know this how?"
"There are pictures," Gabe said, coming back to earth. "It must be something big because Trevor is really hot to get you away from us."
"There are pictures?"
"Were," Gabe said hastily. "Were, there were pictures."
"You are ducking me," Nell said, leaning closer.
"Like that's possible," Gabe said. "Of course, there's always the possibility that it's Jack manipulating Trevor. What do you know that Jack doesn't want you to tell me?"
"Nothing. You have everything I know. Listen, I'm going to be finished in the basement by the end of next week. Want me to start on your car?"
Gabe narrowed his eyes. "Stay away from my car." He stopped, thoughtful. "Maybe that's it. Maybe they're afraid you'll find something. God knows, you've been everywhere."
"Just to clean the car." Nell pushed her plate away. "I wouldn't dream of driving it."
"I clean it. There's nothing in there. And don't even talk about driving it."
"I said I wouldn't dream-" Nell began, but he was standing up, ready to go, his keys in his hand, the Porsche insignia tantalizing her.
"I can't think of any other reason to hire you away," Gabe said. "It's got to have something to do with this blackmail mess."
"Maybe they just need a good office manager," Nell said, pushing her chair back, careful not to hit Marlene. "So are those pictures still around?"
"You will never know," Gabe said. "The furniture looks great, by the way."
"You are much too sensitive about that car," she said and picked up Marlene to follow him out into the cold November night.
Nell was disappointed that Suze had quit, but not surprised. "It's a miracle Jack let her do it this long," she told Riley. "At least now you're off the hook. I know you didn't like working with her." She waited for him to come clean, but all he said was, "She wasn't that bad." Shortly after that, he began dating a dental technician who did regional theater and thought decoy work was performance art, and nobody mentioned Suze again.
Suze didn't take the change nearly as well. "I'm fine with it, really," she told Nell, but by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, she'd stopped smiling and her temper had frayed.
"Jack insisted on inviting Tim and Whitney," she'd told Nell the week before. "And I told him if you weren't coming, I wasn't coming. And then he said I wouldn't need you because he'd invited Margie and Budge and Margie's dad and his wife and Olivia. Five of them. And then there's my mother and his mother."