Feeling the Moment (7 page)

Chapter Seven

One week later…

This past week has been incredible. Only five days remain before we have to go back to reality. I was still unsure of where we’d be afterwards. One thing I did know was that I was in love with River. I don’t know how he managed to do it, but he made me feel again. He made me hope, long for something outside of myself. I’ll never be the same no matter what happens.

Today we went fishing. For what, I don’t know. All I knew was that he’d given me some huge thick ass fishing pole, strapped it to my waist and wished me luck. Can you say panic? Because that is exactly what I did.

“What the hell am I going to catch that I need to be strapped to my pole?” I shrieked.

“We aren’t fishing for blue gill beautiful,” he smiled.

“No shit! I’m not sure I want to catch whatever it is we’re fishing for,” I said nervously looking at the water.

“You’ll be fine. I’m right here with you.”

“Seriously River.” Panic shook my voice.

“Don’t go peeing your panties, babe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I’m probably about to do that… If I were wearing panties.”

River growled and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. “Remember we promised no more today. We’d focus on another activity.”

“Oh right! Facing my death by fishing doesn’t make me think of all the things I’d rather be doing right now at all!”

“Calm down, I fish out here often. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Another great example, River. I met you in the hospital, remember?”

River laughed as he walked over to the back of the boat and started digging in some box. Panic hit me full force. Here I was standing in with this huge ass pole strapped around my waist next to the edge of a boat with my line in the water.

“Ri- River. Do-don’t leave me over here… alone,” I squeaked out.

“You’re fine,” he laughed.

“Says the man before the girlfriend is eaten by Jaws,” I hissed sarcastically as I stared back out over the water.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his head snap up and stare at me. It was then my words came back and smacked me in the face. Deciding it was probably better that I not change what I said, I kept my head where it needed to be, staring at the death trap I was attached to.

“So if you run this company, how are you managing two weeks away right now? It’s got to be hard to turn off your business brain.” I asked in hopes I’d forget the image of being eaten by Jaws.

“What’s the point of being a boss if you don’t take advantage of that fact,” he grinned as he walked back over toward me. “You need to reel in sweetheart. You have a lure on the end of your line. Not bait.”

“So I won’t catch anything if I don’t reel?”

“Probably not, no.”

“Okay then, I’m not reeling in,” I stated defiantly.

River laughed and wrapped me in his arms as he stood behind me, placing one hand on the rod and the other on the reel. The clicking sound as he started bringing in the line, echoed in my head as the eerie suspense music plays in my head. You know that part in scary movies when the killer is about to strike.

“Calm down, sweetheart. We’re just fishing. The belt can come undone faster than I take your bra off,” he kisses my neck.

“Ha ha ha, Not the time right now, River,” my voice shaking.

“Look at me, Kim,” he whispered as he stopped reeling in.

When I turned my head and looked at him, River kissed me deeply. His kiss was so consuming that I forgot for a moment what we were doing. My whole body heated and relaxed into his hold.

When River broke the kiss, I opened my eyes and looked into his. “Why’d you stop? I was enjoying that,” I protested.

“Good to know, but remember we promised no hanky panky until we got back to the house. That way we had the day enjoying each other’s company.”

Sighing, “Fine, but know that I’m in protest of this stupid agreement.”

Kissing me softly, “Me too sweetheart. Me too.”

Turning focus back to the water, my heart hammered in my chest out of fear this time not pleasure like a few moments ago. Fishing sounded like so much fun moments ago when River suggested it, but being here now… I’m not so sure it was.

“How are you managing to get away for this vacation?” He asked after a little bit.

“I’d already taken the time off at the hospital. As for the shelter, remember when I came in crabby?”

“Yeah,” he snorted. “You hurt my feelings,” he faked hurt.

“Whatever,” I said rolling my eyes. “Shawna called me that first night of talking to you, letting me know that I’ve got some work that needs attention and had to be done by that night. But when I got her email there were two other things. Needless to say to butter me up she promised two weeks’ vacation paid for getting it done, which of course I did. Then you hit me with the offer…”

“Lucky for me,” he smiled softly at me.

“Do you have family, Mr. Monroe?” I asked in hopes to clear the look from his face.

“I have three brothers and two sisters. I don’t talk to my parents.”

“Why not?”

“A very long story, but let’s just say they weren’t kind to my younger brother and youngest sister. When I stepped in for them to stop hitting them, my sperm donor pulled a knife on me and my egg donor yelled she’d kill me if I ever stepped in the way again. I don’t care to have those kinds of people in my life.”

My heart broke for what River and his siblings have gone through. “Are you still close with your siblings?”

“Oh definitely. Jayden, Kayden – they’re twins – and Ryan work with me in the fabrication aspect of the business and Maree and Lacee work in the advertising department. The face of the company if you will. They can sell things a lot faster than any of us guys could.”

“That’s so cool. What was it like growing up with siblings?” I asked trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

“I’m the wrong person to ask. Though I had siblings, our life was far from normal. Though I think had my donors not been the way they were, we may not have turned out as close as we are now.”

“Still had to be nice to know you were never alone,” I mumbled as I absentmindedly reeled in my line.

“How did you ever survive, sweetheart? I don’t think I could have from that young and become as strong as you are now.”

“I’m not strong. I’m stubborn. That’s all. I’m too stubborn to give in, to give up,” I whispered the last part.

“I wish you could see yourself how I do. I’d give anything to make you see yourself how I do,” he breathed running his hands up and down my arms.

Looking up into his eyes, “Ho-how do you see me?”

“Seriously? You can’t tell how I see you?”

Shaking my head side to side, I was about to answer when my whole body was jerked closer to the edge of the boat. A scream escaped before I could clamp my mouth shut. Every possible worst case scenario was running through my head right now.

River’s strong arms were wrapped around me as he held me firmly against him. “The belt I put on you will help with the reel in,” he grunted as he helped me reel in the fish. “It’s okay. If we get pulled overboard, we’ll go together,” he panted from the exertion.

The pole was extremely bowed and even though River was doing most of the work, I was getting a bit tired myself. He bit his lip as he pulled me and the pole up and backward. This continued on for about twenty minutes when I saw the first sign of the fish on the other end.

“Oh my God! River, no!” I screamed.

He laughed and grunted at the same time. “It’s okay. I’ve caught sharks before. That’s the reason you’re wearing the belt. But judging by this one, I think I should have put the harness on you instead.”

Our feet were inching closer and closer to the side of the boat. River would then pull us farther and farther back. Every so often the fin would surface before disappearing down below the water again. My heart was racing and sweat began to cover my forehead. I knew that River had to be sweating too. Though I was helping what I could, River was the force behind this. In my head the sentence, ‘We’re going to die!’ kept screaming on repeat.

“River…” I choked out.

“It’ll be okay sweetheart. You’ll see.”

He groans loudly as he pulls back up on the pole and tries to pull us backwards. As he does that the line snaps and causes us to fall backwards landing flat on the floor, with me on top of River. River’s arms fall to his side, no longer holding me tightly.

“Holy shit! River?” Rolling over, I see his eyes are shut. “Oh my God! River!” I shook him. Tears filled my eyes as I hugged. “Please…” I sobbed.

A sudden sharp gasp from River had me hugging him tighter and thanking God over and over again and again. His arms wrapped tightly around me again and he held me there.

“I’m sorry. Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

My body shook from the adrenaline roaring through it. Tears coursed down my cheeks and fell to his chest. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I’d honestly forgotten what it’s like to have someone close enough to worry about them. My heart ached with the thought of losing River.

“I love you,” I whispered so softly that even I couldn't hear the words pass my lips. They escaped on the back of my breath leaving no sound.

“I’m okay, sweetheart. Just had the breath knocked out of me is all.”

“Can we go home now?”

“No way,” he exclaims as he kisses the top of my head. “We’ve got revenge to get.”

“Not tonight please. I just want to go home. Please,” my voice broke.

His hold tightened on me. “Okay. We’ll head home, but promise me we’ll come back out here to fish again?”

“Can I promise that I’ll try?”

He pushed up to a sitting position, dragging me with him. “I’ll accept that.” River stood up and pulled me with him. Tipping my chin up, he pressed several kisses to my lips. “I’m okay, Kim. Really,” he said softly.

“But…” I said shakily.

“No buts. I’m okay.  Let’s get you home.”

The journey back to the house was silent and I held him tightly. I was afraid if I let him go I’d realize that this was only a dream. My body trembled at the thought of having lost him.

Not so long ago, I never would have thought I’d be here in this position right now. To be so close to someone that the thought of losing them sent fear like never before surging through my whole body. Hell, I whispered the three words I swore I’d never say… ever. I told him I loved him. Well, I didn’t tell him, but I said them nonetheless.

Finally arriving back at that house, he shut the boat off, secured it to the dock and unloaded all the fishing gear. Together we carried it all up to the little shack outside the house and put it all away. Words still wouldn’t form, they wouldn’t come out. There was so much that I wanted to say, but the forefront was love and I just couldn’t risk him hearing me say that. More like I couldn’t risk saying it.

“Hey,” River said wrapping his arm around my waist. “You haven’t said much of anything since we started back here. Are you okay?”

We walk in the front door and I immediately start ridding myself of all this fishing gear and shoes. River stood there watching me the whole time. Though he wasn’t pushing me to talk to him, the need to know could be felt in the air between us. Still I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know if I could. Instead, I walked into the kitchen and started rummaging around for something for supper. We went out fishing early this morning, had a nice picnic on the boat for lunch. For supper we were going to eat on the beach under the stars, but after the boat… I had no urge to go near the water right now.

A few minutes later, as I’m chopping potatoes, River places his hand on my back. Stopping what I’m doing, I dropped my head and rested my hands on the counter. Every bit of fear and love I felt for this man came rushing back and my walls broke once again. My body shook as I fought to keep my emotions at bay, to not show weakness.

“Hey,” River whispered, turning me around.

Wrapping my arms around him tightly, I broke down. No one has ever mattered so much to me before. How do I keep him at arm’s length when all I want to do is be held closely by him and never let go? As his arms banded around me, it all spilled over in the form of body shaking sobs.

“Shhh, I have you. I have you,” River whispered over and over as he tenderly held my head against his chest, softly running his hand through my hair.

Now that the tears have started, I couldn’t get them to stop. No matter the fool that I must be making of myself, they still kept coming. Today was an eye opener for me. A huge eye opener. Even though it scared the shit out of me, I’ve let someone in. My walls were no longer there. Well, they weren’t for River. When he was around they didn’t seem to exist.

Today, I almost lost him. I almost lost River because of the stupid water that I love so much. The only reason we went on that stupid fishing trip was because I wanted more boat sex. The rocking of the boat as he drove his hard throbbing cock deep inside me… I shivered in his hold as warmth crept through me. If I hadn’t been thinking about his long, thick member, he wouldn’t have been hurt today.