Fifty Shades of Alice Through the Looking Glass (8 page)

The Tweedles stared at one another and then looked back to her. “Certainly! Why didn’t you ask that in the first place?”

And although Alice definitely should have felt put out and frustrated and longing to kill them both over that last remark, instead she got down on her knees in the green, green grass and began to lick the two crossed shafts as they rubbed against one other.

She ran her tongue over Tweedle Dee’s ridge and underneath to his swinging sack. Then she worked her way back to the place where they crossed and lavished her attention on Tweedle Dum. Pretty soon she couldn’t tell Dum from Dee or Dee from Dum, it just seemed like one big pleasure pretzel that existed simply for her pleasurable pleasure.

Each man grasped a breast and played with her pulsing nipples. Tweedle Dee would moan, then Dum would moan. Tweedle Dum would groan and then Dee would groan. With each flick of Alice’s tongue, the men would respond. Each lick of their balls, they’d bellow like elk.

Finally Tweedle Dum caressed her hair, causing her to look up at him. “Let’s try this,” he said, and he poked the tip of his shaft between her lips.

She took the down curve in her mouth, sliding all the way to Dum’s root. And while she sucked and played with her tongue, the up curve’s head rested against her cheek, as if waiting in turn. After several strokes, she moved to the other, working back and forth between the two. Then she took them both, their heads rubbing one another inside her mouth, their tastes mixing and mingling into an intoxicating cocktail.

Sweat slicked her skin and her breasts bounced and swayed and her nipples brushed against the men’s legs. If her mammaries could talk, they would have asked to get in on the fun, but since that was ridiculous, even on this side of the looking glass, Alice had to see to their satisfaction herself.

She took one man’s shaft between her mounds, licking as his head surfaced, then plunging him down to be encased in her flesh. The other moved around behind her, and she could feel her short skirt lifting, cool air quivering over her wetness, and an upward curve probed her slick opening.

Alice spread her thighs wide and reclaimed the down curve with her mouth, and Tweedle Dee sank into her, filling her just as she’d imagined while using her rabbit in front of the mirror.

“Oh, that feels so good,” she said, then sucked Dum hard.

Tweedle Dee gripped her hips and started pumping, his balls slapping her sensitive nub with each plunge.

“Now this is fun!” Dee called. “Are you having fun, Alice?”

“Mmmph,” came her best reply.

“Yes, this is fun,” said Dum from above her. “Are you enjoying yourself, Alice?”

“Mmmph,” she answered again.

But if they could understand her words, they would have heard her say, “Oh my heavens, yes!” Because with a cock in her mouth and a cock in her slot, Alice was having a WONDERFUL time. And all of her reservations about them being gay or being round and unattractive or being annoying as all hell seemed petty and silly and nothing but a distant memory.

When Tweedle Dee got tired, he sat down on the grass. Alice climbed upon his lap, and sank onto his stiff upturned pole. Then Tweedle Dum stood over Dee, his manhood thrusting into her mouth.

“Oh, what a view,” rhapsodized Dee. “Dum looks so sexy thrusting into your sweet mouth. I can see his balls swing against your chin. Don’t you think that’s a lovely view, Alice?”

“Mmmph.”

Tweedle Dum stared down at Dee. “Oh, what a view,” he said, “I can see Dee driving up into you and making your tits buck like you’re in a rodeo. Don’t you think that’s a lovely view, Alice?”

Alice pulled her head back and glanced up at Tweedle Dum. “Look, you want me to talk, or suck?”

“I’d vote for the sucking,” helpful Tweedle Dee offered.

“Agreed,” said Tweedle Dum. “Please get back to it, Alice.”

“Gladly.”

Alice took him as deep into her mouth as she could, all the way to where her tonsils would have been if they hadn’t been removed when she was seven. Soon she found the perfect rhythm, sucking on Dum while bouncing on Dee, her breasts jostling freely and the pressure building inside her like a boiler about to explode.

And so she did, the feeling growing and growing until she couldn’t ram down on Dee fast enough or suck Dum hard enough. And she shattered and screamed out, and wave after wave of orgasmic contractions hit her.

When the waves of ecstasy ebbed, she grabbed ahold of Tweedle Dum’s love handles and sagged against his legs.

“You’re not tired, are you, Alice?” he asked.

“You’re not tired, are you, Alice?” echoed Dee.

And together they said, “Because we have a lot more fun in store for you.”

So although Alice was tired, she couldn’t deny they were still hard. Really hard. And if she’d learned anything in her time beyond the looking glass, it was that she had to do her best to pleasure others if they took the time to pleasure her.

“Bring it on, boys,” she said with a smile.

And they did.

They tried all manner of combinations, those three in the field that day. Dum on Alice and Dee on Dum. Dum on Dee with Alice underneath. Alice sucking Dum and Dee sucking Alice.

And the best part? Alice was pretty sure none of it was approved by the Red Queen.

Finally Alice lay back in the grass almost too tired to move, and Dee and Dum were on either side of her, kneeling on the grass, their members still hard as could be and stretching full length over her when Dee announced, “I’m ready to come.”

“I’m ready to come, too,” agreed Dum. “And I have a grand idea. We just need you to do something for us, Alice.”

Alice propped herself up on her elbows and eyed their everlasting erections. She’d lost count of her orgasms, but these two odd little men had given her so many that she felt limp as a dish rag. Still, she wanted this to be just as fabulous for them as it had been for her, even if she wasn’t sure how she’d find the strength to see them through.

“What would you like me to do?”

“Just take off your blouse and lie back in the grass, Alice dear,” said Dee.

That sounded like a grand idea, and Alice shrugged the open blouse off her arms and relaxed in the grass. “Now what?”

“Now raise your skirt to your waist and spread your thighs wide,” said Dum.

Alice did as he asked.

Dee looked down at her exposed center and nodded approvingly, his upturned shaft following the bob of his head. “Now pull your arms tight to your sides and fluff up your tits.”

“Fluff them up?” Alice repeated. “How do I fluff them up?”

“Kind of squeeze them together a little with your arms.”

“Yeah,” added Dum taking hold of Dee’s hard member and stroking. “Make your nipples point right up at us.”

“Yeah, like they’re begging,” Dee said, grabbing ahold of Dum.

Alice did as she was asked, her arms acting a bit like a pushup bra. Her mounds surged together, looking and feeling more voluptuous than she ever remembered. Her nipples were incredibly hard, but Dee and Dum pinched and teased them anyway, until they strained upward, as if (indeed!) begging to touch the men’s vigorous poles.

“Now bring both hands between your legs and touch yourself,” said Dee. “Make yourself come.”

Alice hadn’t been sure she could make herself come again, as tired as she was, but all this tit fluffing and nipple begging was making her feel hot and wet all over again. She slid her fingers on either side of her clit, then dipped two fingers into her special place, clit, special place, clit, special place, imagining it was both the Tweedles penetrating her at once.

Above her, the Tweedles pumped one another with their hands. Faster and faster their fists flew, one curving up and one curving down, until one and then the other began to thrust with his hips and moan.

And then Alice started moaning too, the quiver between her legs escalating as she watched the curved shafts and tight balls bob above her. And a wave of ecstasy crashed over her, seizing her muscles, and shuddering and quaking, and she didn’t stop but pushed for another.

And then the Tweedles cried out, one after the other, and their essence streamed from their stiff rods and kissed her breasts, warm and glossy and smooth. And then they were rubbing their hardness over her, cock against nipple, slick skin against slick skin.

And another wave crested and crashed, and Alice added her cries to the mix.

And when they were done, Alice knew without a doubt what her nipples had been begging for, because it was exactly what they got.

“Well, thank you for a wonderful time, you sexy gentlemen,” she said, still out of breath.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum each wiped off a breast, taking great care to flick and pinch and toy with her nipples while they were doing it. “You have lovely feminine parts, Alice,” said Dee.

“Thank you,” said Alice.

“Yes,” said Dum. “All your parts are quite lovely.”

Alice sat up, but the two kept wiping, their members thick and ready once again, only this time Dee’s was turned down and Dum’s was facing up.

Curious.

“Have you ever thought of showing off your lovely parts with a bit of sparkly jewelry?” Dee asked.

“Oh my, yes. That would be divine,” concurred Dum.

Alice remembered Rose’s sparkly nipple rings and the beautiful golden gleam brightening Daisy’s clit.

“It would be beautiful, that is for certain, but I’m not sure I’m daring enough to try something like that.”

Dee smiled. “You should at least talk to the White Queen, see what she says.”

“The White Queen?”

“She’s a queen. The one who wears white,” Dum explained.

“I know who she is. I’ve met her before. But she doesn’t wear any jewelry, if you don’t count the tiara on her head.”

The two looked at each other. “She doesn’t wear much of anything at all.”

“That’s true,” agreed Alice, thinking of the White Queen’s bare breasts and special place. “Although it seems that on this side of the looking glass, very few people wear much at all. But what I don’t understand is why I should talk to her about jewelry.”

“Well, that’s simple enough,” said Tweedle Dee. “She does piercings at her store. Ye Olde Sex Shoppe.”

“Where is that, exactly?” Alice asked, becoming curiouser and curiouser.

Tweedle Dum pointed with his member, now very much as stiff as before. “You just follow the path through the trees.”

“There sure are lots of paths through the trees around here,” Alice mused.

But neither Tweedle Dee nor Tweedle Dum was listening; they were too busy kissing and stroking each other again.

Alice had to wonder if they ever had a problem with chafing. But she didn’t ask, because a discussion about it wouldn’t be very sexy, and quite possibly rude.

Besides, much as she’d enjoyed the three way, she really hated talking to the annoying little bastards.

“Thank you so much,” she called. “I believe I’ll pay her a visit.”

““Mmmph!” they both said, their mouths full of each other.

Alice set off on her way.

Alice followed the left fork in the path, and for once it was a nice, paved path with no sticks to trip over or tree branches to snag her hair or dirt that her heels sunk into. When Alice reached the end of it she found a sign nailed to a tree that read WRONG PATH, GO BACK. Alice wasn’t sure how the sign knew where she was going, but there wasn’t anything beyond the tree but a patch of stinging nettles, and since Alice had an aversion to stinging of any sort, she walked back to the fork and took the right path, which was filled with sticks to trip over and branches snagging her hair and dirt that tugged at her high heels. And stinging nettles.

When she finally reached Ye Olde Sex Shoppe, Alice was in a grumpy mood. Her mood went from grumpy to venomous when she saw a sign on the front door that read CLOSED FOR UNBIRTHDAY PARTY.

Alice didn’t know what an unbirthday was, but guessed it was something stupid and annoying. For all the good sex she’d had in Looking Glass Land, it certainly had its fair share of stupid and annoying people and customs. Alice frowned, her brow furrowing, as she wondered where to go next, when the door suddenly swung open and the White Queen appeared. Breasts and special place still bare for all to see, she wore a white garter belt and fishnets, and a white boa. The feather kind, not the kind that eats small children.

“Alice! How are you, dear? Did you come for my unbirthday party?”

“I’m afraid I don’t even know what an unbirthday is,” Alice said.

“No worry,” said the Queen. “As it is both stupid and annoying. But I did get some wool and water for unbirthday gifts, thereby explaining this chapter’s odd title. So why are you here?”

“Actually, I was sent here by Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum—”

“Excellent lovers, but also stupid and annoying.”

Alice agreed on both counts, but didn’t want to appear rude. “They mentioned you do piercings.”

The Queen smiled wide. “I do. In fact, when I opened my shop, I was going to call it
Houses of the Holey
and put a big lead zeppelin in the storefront.”

“I don’t get it,” Alice said.

“It was the seventies. I did a lot of drugs. I also have a Ficus I named Robert.”

“Excuse me?”

“Robert Plant.”

“Isn’t he that singer in the Rolling Stones?”

“You’re making me feel old. Come in.”

The Queen held open the door, and Alice walked inside. She’d never been in a sex shop before, and for some reason expected it to be dimly lit and dirty. Instead, the lighting was bright and uniform, with stock neatly arranged on racks. It could have been a local convenience store, but rather than snacks and sundries, the wares on these shelves were decidedly more…
personal
.

Alice stared at a display of movies, their covers depicting every type of coupling imaginable, and some that were almost beyond imagination.

“Organized according to kink,” the White Queen said. “Orgies, three ways, gang-bangs, all the group stuff, is in this section. Next to it is oral, which is always popular. Then gay, both women on women and men on men. Anal is next to that.”