Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4) (15 page)

“Hunter, look at me,” Roman said softly so they wouldn’t be overheard.

Hunter lifted his gaze from where he’d been rubbing his finger against the tablecloth.

“I told him you were my colleague because I thought you might be more comfortable with him thinking this was a business meeting rather than a date.”

Hunter shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, Roman. I kept telling myself that we weren’t doing anything wrong by being in public together but all I could think was what would happen if people saw me touching you or looking at you a certain way.”

“It’s okay-”

“No, it’s not,” Hunter said firmly. “Today was so much fun but it felt like something was missing…it was like I wasn’t really sharing it with you because I couldn’t be with you the way I wanted.”

“Hunter, these things take time…”

“No,” Hunter said again. “I don’t want to hide how I feel when I’m with you. Even if being gay was a choice, I’d still want to be with you – I’d want people to know how much I love you.”

“What?” Roman interjected.

But Hunter continued on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I mean, who cares, right? So what if they don’t approve of us being together – they can just all go to hell,” Hunter said as he got more worked up.

“Here we are,” Alphonse said as he reappeared with the bottle of wine.

“Alphonse,” Hunter said loudly enough that there was no doubt the people at neighboring tables would hear him. “Roman’s not my colleague. He’s my boyfriend. We’re gay,” he added for good measure. “And if you have a problem with that, then we’ll take our business elsewhere.”

Alphonse looked back and forth in confusion between Hunter and Roman and Roman just shook his head as he bit back his amusement.

“Oh my, these glasses will not do,” Alphonse stammered as he suddenly snatched the two wineglasses off the table and hurried off, unopened wine bottle still in hand.

“Say it again,” Roman whispered as he shifted around the slight curve of the booth.

“I’m gay,” Hunter said softly as he too shifted until their legs were touching beneath the table.

“Hunter,” Roman grumbled.

“I love you,” Hunter said with a smile as he leaned in to brush his mouth over Roman’s. “So much for finding the perfect moment, huh?” Hunter murmured against his lips.

Roman let his hand close over the one Hunter had resting on his thigh. “It couldn’t have been any more fucking perfect.” Roman didn’t give a shit who was watching as he slanted his lips over Hunter’s and licked over the seam until Hunter opened to him. Hunter didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

“By the way,” Roman said when they finally separated. “Alphonse is as gay as they come.”

***

Hunter twisted his hands nervously as he waited for Roman to give the valet his car keys. It had been too dark on their drive up from Monterey to Big Sur to see the sights or even the hotel that Roman owned but as soon as they’d driven onto the lush, beautifully landscaped grounds, Hunter had known the place would be a thing of beauty to behold come daylight.

But none of that was really even on his radar as he thought about the night to come. He’d been telling himself ever since Roman had left for London that he would be mentally ready to take the final step to let Roman make love to him once they were together again, but now that the moment was here, he was struggling to not let that one terrible night in the pool room of the gay club deter him. There was no doubt that Roman would do anything and everything in his power to make the experience a beautiful one but with the nightmares that continued to rattle him, Hunter was afraid he’d panic in the middle of the act and ruin any chance he had at giving to Roman what had been given so freely to him.

“You okay?” Roman asked as he met Hunter on the curb. The bellman had already left to take their luggage up to Roman’s room so Hunter nodded and fell into step next to him as they headed for the entrance. After wiping his sweaty palm on his pants, Hunter dropped his hand and brushed it against Roman’s. A thrill shot through him as Roman instantly linked their fingers together. No words were needed as they stepped onto the elevator and if Roman noticed how tightly Hunter was clutching his hand, he didn’t point it out.

The elevator stopped on the top floor of the twelve story building and Hunter followed Roman down the dark hallway. Everything about the décor was fresh and beautiful but also managed to blend modern style with a rustic feel. Roman had clearly made the right choice to rebuild the hotel using the same unique décor that appeared to set it apart from contemporary establishments.

Roman led him to the end of the hall where there was just a single door that already stood ajar. As Roman was tipping the bellman who was waiting politely by the door, Hunter entered the room and sucked in a breath. What he’d expected was a fancy room with a big bed – what he saw was a full on residence complete with a living room with stylish leather furniture, a gas fireplace and a full sized kitchen off to the right. The whole back wall was made up of glass windows that overlooked the ocean. There was a huge deck with a large infinity pool on one side and a hot tub on the other.

“Roman, it’s beautiful,” he breathed as he felt his lover come up behind him. Warm lips skimmed his neck.

“I decided to make this my permanent residence a couple of years ago,” Roman said as his arms went under Hunter’s to wrap around his chest. “You want something to drink?”

Hunter shook his head and then closed his eyes as he felt Roman’s lips gently kiss their way down his neck. Hard fingers pulled the collar of his shirt back enough to allow the lips to continue their path over his skin. Hunter lifted one of his arms to curl around the back of Roman’s head and he moaned in satisfaction when Roman’s lips finally sought his out. Roman’s free hand worked the hem of Hunter’s shirt up so he could press his hand across the younger man’s stomach and Hunter willingly moved back against Roman’s body when he used his hand to apply the tiniest bit of pressure. The result was Roman’s steely length pressed against his ass. At the contact, Hunter dropped both his hands to reach behind him and close them over the backs of Roman’s thighs. But the second he started twisting his hips against Roman’s erection, Roman let out a hoarse groan and turned him around. After that, all bets were off as they began tearing at each other’s clothes.

“Where’s your room?” Hunter asked as Roman nipped at his jawline while his hand stroked Hunter’s cock through his underwear.

Roman didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed Hunter’s hand and dragged him down a hallway. Hunter didn’t have time to take in anything about Roman’s room because Roman started kissing him as soon as they walked through the door. Roman was still wearing his pants and as Hunter struggled to get the button loose, he found himself walked backwards until his legs hit the bed. The next second he was on his back and Roman was pinning his arms as he devoured Hunter’s mouth. Roman began trailing kisses all over his chest and arms and when he finally released Hunter’s arms so he could move lower, Hunter just lay there so he could take it all in. When fingers closed over the waistband of his boxers, Hunter automatically lifted and then waited in hungry anticipation for the feel of Roman’s mouth on his cock. But all he got were kisses and licks all around his stomach and upper thighs.

“Roman, please,” Hunter whispered as he leaned up on his elbows. The sight of Roman’s nose and mouth buried at the spot where his thigh met his groin had him panting but it wasn’t until Roman’s eyes connected with his that Hunter’s whole body drew up tight. There was no single swallowing him down to the root like Roman normally did. No, for whatever reason, Roman had clearly decided to torture him tonight because he zoned in on Hunter’s balls. First by licking them, then by drawing each one into his mouth and sucking languidly on them. And even when he was done with that exquisite torture, his mouth moved the opposite way and Hunter felt a mix of fear and excitement go through him as he realized Roman’s destination. But it was just another fake out because Roman ran his tongue along the sensitive skin right behind Hunter’s aching balls and then set up camp there as he nipped and sucked away until Hunter felt like screaming out his frustration.

“Show me what you want, baby,” Roman suddenly whispered and Hunter watched as Roman parted his lips in invitation. Raw lust pounded through Hunter as he sat up and grabbed his dick. Roman’s eyes never left his as he waited and Hunter watched them glaze over with passion as Hunter rubbed the head of his dick back and forth over Roman’s sleek lips. The pre-come leaking from the crown made Roman’s mouth glisten and Hunter quickly leaned down and sealed their mouths together. He licked up the fluid with his tongue and then shoved it into Roman’s eager mouth. He only let the kiss go on for a few seconds before he closed his fingers in Roman’s hair and pushed him back down to meet his waiting dick. Roman didn’t make even one sound of protest as Hunter shoved in as far as he could go. When his slit hit the back of Roman’s throat, he pulled out and then shoved back in again. Roman’s tongue stroked him as he suddenly sealed his lips around Hunter’s flesh and sucked hard. And just like that, Roman once again became the aggressor as he dragged his mouth up and down Hunter’s shaft. Hunter was still sitting up so he had a perfect view of Roman’s dark head bobbing up and down over his lap and he let his fingers rest on Roman’s hair as his lover brought him closer and closer to the edge.

Hunter was sure Roman was going to send him over but at the last second, he pulled free of Hunter and shoved him back down on the bed and kissed him. It didn’t last nearly long enough because all of a sudden Roman stood up and shed the rest of his clothes. His dark cock jutted proudly from a thatch of black hair and Hunter eagerly sat up, his mouth watering with need. But instead of Roman shoving into his mouth, he pressed Hunter back down on the bed and then crawled up and over his body. Hunter struggled to understand the new position until Roman finally stopped just above his head, his heavy balls resting against Hunter’s chin.

“Open,” Roman ordered.

Hunter did as he was told and stifled a moan as Roman’s crown pressed between his lips. While the angle didn’t allow Roman to go very deep, all of Hunter’s nerve endings were firing at the lack of control he had over the situation. It should have frightened him but having Roman fucking his mouth the way he would soon be fucking his body was such a turn on that Hunter was actually reaching down to stroke his own cock to match Roman’s smooth in and out motions. Within minutes, Hunter’s jaw was aching but when Roman pulled free of him, he actually tried to follow Roman’s backward motion. But it wasn’t cock he got a mouthful of – it was Roman’s demanding tongue. And then Roman was climbing off of him and searching through his nightstand. At the sight of the condom and lube, Hunter bit back the sudden surge of nervous energy that went through him and softly said Roman’s name.

Roman glanced at him and then bent over him. “All good?” Roman asked.

Hunter nodded. “Um, I’m ready.”

Roman stilled above him but didn’t say anything.

“Please, Roman, I really want this…you.”

When Roman kissed him gently and then settled on top of him, Hunter couldn’t help but smile. As harried and crazy with need that they’d both been just a minute ago, Roman acted like they had all the time in the world.

“Are you sure?” Roman asked between kisses.

“Very,” Hunter acknowledged as he wrapped his arms around Roman’s shoulders. “Just…”

“What?” Roman prodded.

Hunter could feel the heat flushing his cheeks. “Just don’t take me from behind…not yet.”

There was just the slightest stiffening in Roman’s body but then he began kissing Hunter over and over, each caress becoming more intense and desperate as the last. When he finally pulled back, he whispered, “I want your first time to be something you’ll remember forever so if I’m going too fast or I do something to scare you, tell me, okay?”

“You don’t have to do that, Roman. It’s not my first time.”

Roman studied him for a moment and then said, “Yes it is.”

Tears stung the back of Hunter’s eyes at Roman’s words and he closed them just to try to hold the tears at bay. He felt Roman start exploring his body again but this time it wasn’t about driving his need higher…no, it was like Roman was worshipping him. But it didn’t take long before Roman’s kisses became more drugging and his touch more teasing and by the time Roman’s mouth closed over his cock, Hunter was begging for relief. The long, hard drags on his dick were slowly driving him insane but when he felt one of Roman’s fingers brush over his hole, he couldn’t help but tense up. The finger disappeared just as quickly but the sound of the cap on the lube clicking open was like a gunshot going off in the room and Hunter couldn’t help but let out a startled whimper.

“Hunter, look at me,” Roman said firmly.

Hunter looked down and it wasn’t until he saw Roman hovering over his dick that he realized he’d needed to hear Roman’s voice to bring him back to the present.

“I’m okay,” Hunter said with a nod. “Promise,” he added. He waited for Roman to drink his cock back down but to his surprise, Roman climbed back up his body and began kissing him. For a moment, Hunter was worried he’d somehow ruined the whole thing but then he felt Roman’s lube covered finger brush his opening again and he stifled a moan as Roman’s tongue sought out his at the same time that his finger pressed forward.