Finding Gavin (Southern Boys #2) (4 page)

Chapter Six

We’ve spent the last four days with my father. With each day, he became weaker and more disconnected. It broke my heart to watch my father slowly let go. We all sat at his bedside until he took his last breath.

An unexpected sob escaped me when the flat line stretched out over the monitor. I cried for the years I had lost. I cried onto my brother, Colt’s shoulder as he held me tightly. I would never get the image of my daddy, lying helpless, out of my mind.

The funeral was a small service with a few of my father’s friends and his family. He was now at peace, and I hoped that my last conversation with him had given him peace as well.

“I’m sorry I failed you, Maria. it is one of my biggest regrets.”

I squeezed his hand gently. “I forgive you, Daddy. I need you to know that I forgive you.” His eyes pinched together tightly as his jaw trembled. He nodded his head lightly, and then he took a shuddering breath.

The silence of the room was calming, as I continued to hold my father’s hand while he slept. I sat watching him and listening to his unsteady, strained breaths.

I let go of my anger toward my father that day. I needed to let go of the hurt and move on. It was time for me to stop blaming him for all my wrongs. I needed to own up to the mistakes I had made in my life.

I sat beside him until he took his last breath—an image I would never be able to let go of, one that would forever sit heavy on my heart.

My brothers, Colt and Jake, would be taking care of the house and all my dad’s belongings. There really was nothing worth any value. Colt actually planned to move back to Georgia once everything was done. He said there was nothing left here for him. Jake was moving on as well, but he is more independent. It would be nice to have Colt around for a change.

It was time to get back to Georgia myself. Kori’s wedding was less than two weeks away, and there were still things to do. I was in need of something new to focus on. For the last week, I have felt so groggy and tired. The stress was really getting to me.

When I turned onto our road, my heart rate sped up. Gavin’s truck parked out in the street, in front of our house, was unexpected. I pulled into the driveway and grabbed for my bag. “Who is that?” my momma asked.

“Just a friend, Momma.” I didn’t offer any more explanation. Because if I were being truthful, I really didn’t know exactly how to explain who Gavin truly was.

She removed herself from the car and began to reach for her bags in the backseat. “Let me get those for ya, ma’am.” Gavin placed his hand on her shoulder and motioned toward the car.

She stepped to the side, and he lifted the bags from the car and followed her toward the porch. He looked back over his shoulder and offered me a gentle smile. I watched from the driveway as he followed my mom and placed the bags just inside the door.

After the front door closed, he walked back toward me. Coming around the side of the car, he watched me for a reaction. With him so close, I could smell his cologne on the light breeze, and I closed my eyes tightly, taking it in.

I hadn’t expected him to take me in his arms, but when he did, I held onto him and buried my face in his chest. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer. It felt so nice to be held. The feelings he invoked in me were indescribable.

Gavin lifted me up and placed me onto the trunk of my car as he nestled in between my legs, still holding me close.

I concentrated on his scent, his breathing. I didn’t want to break. I couldn’t, because if I did, I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop it.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Thank you.”

I could feel his lips on my temple as I still held onto him. I didn’t want this to end. This right here, with Gavin holding me, was something I longed for so deeply.

“Not just for your loss, sweetheart, for everything. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away. I’m sorry for all of it.” His words were sincere.

I leaned back from him. I needed to see his eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t want to fall again. I’ve been there, and it didn’t end well. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and leave my fate in another woman’s hands.” Gavin skimmed my jaw with his fingertips and smiled.

“You hit me when I least expected it, and it scares the shit out of me. You’re a smartass and sarcastic. You test me and push me beyond control.” I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled. “But you also make me laugh, and you’re so damn sweet. Your kindness is genuine, and you make me weak in the knees. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again. I said no matter what I would never again fall. Then you had to climb up in my damn truck that night Rhett was sick. You made me forget for a moment what I had been there to do.”

Gavin’s thumb traced my lower lip and his eyes followed the motion. “I’m fighting with this damn divorce, and Nicole is being a bitch about the whole thing. You never let me finish telling you; the baby ain’t mine, she belongs to Alan.” He continued to stare at me with such intensity. “I wanted to wait it out, and when it was all final, come to you. But I don’t want to keep waiting. This thing could keep going on and on, and I don’t want to push you away any longer. I just want to see where this goes.”

He gripped my hips and slid me closer to him, until our mouths were only inches apart. “Can you give me another shot? Can I please have a chance to make things right? Can we just see what happens?” he asked.

I nodded my head gently, as he closed the distance between us and our lips meshed together. Gripping the back of his neck tightly, I held him close. With a sweep of his tongue against my lips, I whimpered, giving in to his request. Slow sensual kisses, sweet gentle touches, and needy whimpers were shared.

“Have dinner with me tonight? My place?” He asked, pulling back just enough to look in my eyes.

“Okay,” I agreed, before bringing my lips to his once more.

***

“I can’t believe someone would string another along the way she has—that’s just crazy. She knew that baby wasn’t Gavin’s, but she played it all out. Then she continued fighting the paternity test after the birth. She is a cruel bitch, isn’t she?” Kori looked horrified regarding everything I had told her.

After Gavin left, I rushed over to Kori’s place. I had to hear from her that I wasn’t crazy. Giving in to Gavin’s request for dinner could be just another mistake. I had spent so much time wanting him, and now that he had decided he wanted me, I was resistant. I didn’t want to believe that he would hurt me, but he is in fact the one person who could destroy me.

“Yeah, I can understand why he was so leery about attempting any other relationship. She really screwed with his heart in more than one way.” I said.

Just then Rhett came screeching into the room, followed by Diesel with Reed trailing close behind. They all looked as if they had been playing in the dirt for hours.

“Momma,” Rhett yelled as he dove for Kori’s legs. Diesel began barking as Reed gripped Rhett’s waist and began tickling. “No,” Rhett giggled and laughed uncontrollably.

“Boys.” Kori attempted a stern voice, but you could tell she was fighting her laughter. “Momma and Aunt Maria are sharing some girl talk. You three need to hightail it back outside. You are so filthy.”

Reed stood tall and closed in on her, pulling her close. “But babe, you said you like it when I’m dirty. In fact, just this morning you told me to slide my…” Kori placed her hand over his mouth.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Enough, or your chances of getting dirty with me will be slim to none.”

He grinned and placed his lips against hers for a gentle loving kiss. Pulling back, he whispered he loved her, just before picking Rhett up and throwing him over his shoulder. “Okay, tank, it’s time you show me where you hid my hammer.” Reed looked back, winking at Kori, and walked toward the door. He hollered back a quick hello to me before they exited the room.

I wanted that—a man and a child who held my heart. I wanted all of it, so badly it made my stomach ache. I felt like such an ass for being so jealous of Kori, but I was. I wanted the happiness she had found. Yes, there had been a long road of pain until she got there, but what she has now is so beautiful.

“So back to what we were talking about, dinner. Is he cooking or are you?” She asked, taking a seat at the bar across from me. She was cutting up chicken for their dinner, and the sight of it was making my stomach turn uncontrollably.

I shrugged. “Well, I assume he is. He didn’t tell me to bring anything.” I stood from the chair and braced myself against the counter as dizziness engulfed me, my stomach still tensing from the nauseated feeling. “Oh wow,” I grumbled.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kori asked with concern lacing her voice. “Sit back down,” she insisted.

“I’m fine. I think I just got up too fast. I haven’t slept much lately, and eating hasn’t really been my top priority, either. I just need to get some water,” I explained.

“You sit, I got it,” Kori ordered, and I sat back down at the bar, bracing my hands out in front of me. My head still lightly spinning, I closed my eyes tightly. I was doing everything possible to try to control the rolling of my stomach.

“Here, drink up.” Kori handed me a bottle of water. I took it from her and brought it to my lips.

I continued to keep my eyes closed as a sudden urge of nausea took over. It only continued to grow stronger with each passing second. My stomach knotted and my palms began to sweat.

All I once, I jumped from the bar stool and ran for the bathroom, making it just in time. I dry heaved until it hurt, then dry heaved some more. My eyes watered and my head ached.

I groaned as I sat back on the cold tile and rested my back against the wall.

Kori handed me a wet washcloth, and I took it gladly. Running it over my forehead and cheeks, I looked up at her. “Great, this is all I need. School’s over, your wedding is just around the corner, and I get the goddamn flu. Now I’ve brought the shit into your house, and you’ll all be sick too.”

Tears filled my eyes. “I swear I am nothing but a damn black cloud.” Tears ran over my cheeks and Kori knelt down in front of me. “Are you crazy, woman? I just turned into a walking puke bag and you’re getting closer. Do you seriously want this shit?”

Kori smiled and brushed my hair from my face. “What the hell are you smiling at, you fool? What could possibly be funny about me expelling my stomach lining?” Kori’s laughter irritated me. “Listen, you little bitch, I am not amused.”

Kori only laughed harder with a snort to seal the deal. “Oh, darling. I am not laughing about the fact that you’re puking. I am, however, laughing about the fact that our kids are gonna grow up together.”

She was such a freak sometimes; what in the hell was she smoking? “What? You lost me, Kori.”

“You’re pregnant,” she stated, still smiling like a fool.

“Yeah, and you’ve lost your damn mind, woman,” I declared, pushing up off the floor and walking from the room. She was insane; that’s all there was to it. She was certifiably insane; pregnancy had overtaken her damn brain, and she had done lost it.

She skipped from the bathroom and trailed behind me. “If I’m so crazy, then when was your last period?”

I shook my head and turned around to glare at her. “I am not pregnant. You honestly need to stop already.”

She took on a serious expression and placed her hands on her hips. She was just beginning to sport the tiniest little baby bump, which was evident now that she had pulled her shirt tighter across her waist. “Maria, seriously, when was it?”

I threw my hands out to my sides and sighed. “Hell, I don’t know—before my dad. Maybe a few weeks before that.” I paused, as the passing of time ran through my mind. “I kinda lost track of time, with everything that has gone on.”

“You do realize that it has been well over a month, don’t you?” she asked.

All I could do was shake my head. I really didn’t know what to say. I know that I was with Gavin that night before he left, but we were safe. He always wore a condom. So yeah, I had let my shot more than expire, but we still had protection. I was floored with the possibility that I could be carrying Gavin’s child. It couldn’t be possible. I couldn’t be pregnant, could I?

***

The first text came through at around 4:30.

Is seven o’clock tonight too late? Got tied up with Bud. I’m just leaving.

My stomach was in knots. I sat on the edge of the tub, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand. Kori wanted to be with me when I took it, but I insisted I wanted to do it alone. My hands shook, as I once again lifted it up to observe the two pink lines on display.

I just needed a little time to let it all sink in. I picked up my phone and sent Gavin a return text.

Not feeling well at all. Gonna have to take a rain check.

Within minutes my phone began to ring, as his gorgeous face displayed across the screen. Tears filled my eyes.