Finding London (Flawed Heart #1) (33 page)

“Hey, it’s Lil, not Little!” I say in reference to Jax’s love of switching my nickname as a joke. “And remember, ‘Though she be but little, she is fierce.’” The framed Shakespeare quote has adorned my bedroom wall for several years. It was a birthday present from Jax’s mom, Susie.

The Little jokes are just that—jokes. I’m not abnormally small for my age. Well, I was one of the smallest girls in the sixth grade, but I know that in a month, come seventh grade, I am going to shoot up. At least I hope I will.

Usually, my size doesn’t bother me, but I was the last girl in my class to get my period, and that was embarrassing. I wear a training bra, but to be honest, I don’t even need it. I’ve got nothing. My older sister, Amy, is fifteen, and she has had legitimate boobs since she was twelve.

I steal a glance at her sitting in the lounge chair on the side of the pool, reading her Kindle. She looks like Mom in her bikini. She has hips and everything.

I still wear my purple one-piece. I refuse to wear a bikini. It would only draw attention to my wimpy boy body, not that it matters. Other than the few snide comments the bratty girls in my class have made, it doesn’t affect me that I have no curves whatsoever.

I get a running start off of the diving board, and thinking big and heavy thoughts for maximum splash effect, I jump as high as I can before grabbing my legs and crashing my balled-up body into the water with what I’m sure is an epic splash.

When I surface, Jax calls out, “Seven, max. Maybe even a six and a half.”

“No way!” I protest. “That was at least a nine!” I tread water as I wipe the drops from my eyes. “What do you think, Kee Kee?” I direct my question to my nine-year-old sister.

She is adjusting her face mask and snorkel. She has been practicing her snorkeling abilities nonstop lately.

Her eyes appear bigger, showcased through the thick plastic of the hot-pink face mask she’s wearing. She spits the snorkel out of her mouth. “I don’t know, Lily. I wasn’t really watching.” She shrugs her shoulders.

“That doesn’t matter, Keeley! You should always side with me. I’m your sister!”

She shrugs again before placing her face in the water to resume her snorkeling.

Jax chuckles. “Ah, poor little Lily. Can’t get your sister to cheat for you? As I said, six and a half.”

“Hey, mister, you said seven first! You are not taking it back. Besides, I give yours a five!”

He slaps his hand through the water, sending a wave into my face. “You’re a sore loser, Lil.”

“No, I’m not because I didn’t lose. You got a five,” I say indignantly. I swim to the front of the pool where I can stand.

Jax follows. He grabs my hands in his, entwining his fingers through mine. “Name That Tune?”

I grin. “Okay. You go first.”

Hands intertwined, we take a deep breath and let our bodies sink into the water. With our heads submerged, Jax begins to belt out a song under the water. I listen really closely because it is very difficult to hear the song through the water. It reminds me of what that teacher from Charlie Brown would sound like if she were singing.

We run out of breath and come up for air.

“Any guesses?” he asks.

“Hmm. It sounded like Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You.’”

“Huh?” Utter confusion is etched across his face. “I have no idea what song you’re talking about.”

“I know you have heard that song before!”

“No, Lily, I haven’t,” he answers seriously.

“It is a classic. Haven’t you ever watched
The Bodyguard
?”

“Body what?”

“
The Bodyguard
. It’s an old movie with Whitney Houston and that other actor guy.” I love to watch all my mom’s old movies.

“Lily, seriously. Guess a song that I would actually know.”

I let out a sigh. “Fine, but it sounded exactly like that song.”

“Um, no, it didn’t. Now, give me a real guess.” He smirks.

“That was a real guess, but fine. Let me think. ‘Get the Party Started’ by Pink.”

He laughs. “No. It sounded nothing like that.”

“Fine, I give up. What song were you singing?” I remove my hands from his and cross my arms as I pout.

“Work It by Missy Elliot.”

“What?” I ask in confusion.

“I heard it on Landon’s iPod, and it’s about sex, I think.”

I cover my mouth in a gasp before hitting him on the chest. “Ew! Why would I know about that song? That’s gross! Does your mom know that Landon listens to that type of music?”

“He’s seventeen. I’m sure my mom doesn’t care. Anyway, the song is funny. Lighten up.”

“Gross. No, I’m never going to listen to a song about that. That is disgusting, and you shouldn’t be listening to it either. Plus, you have to pick a song that I’d know, or this game is stupid.” I resume my crossed-arms, pouty position.

He chuckles. “Okay, fine. Your turn. The same goes for you—pick a song that I’d know.”

“Okay. Ready?” Releasing my arms from my display of irritation, I grab a hold of his hands, and we go under the water once more.

After we’ve gone through six songs and six unsuccessful guesses, my mom brings out a tray of food and beverages and places it on the patio table under the shade of the umbrella.

“Kiddos, lemonade and chicken salad pitas are ready. You must be hungry.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I say as I climb out of the pool.

“Thanks, Miranda,” he addresses my mom as he follows behind me.

“Jax, your mom texted me a while back. Landon will be over to pick you up in an hour. Your dad’s benefit is tonight, and you have to go home to get ready.”

He groans. “Ugh. Seriously? Did she say if I could bring Lil?”

“I don’t think so, honey. I think your dad just wants you and Landon there today.”

“This sucks.” He plops down in a lawn chair and takes a big bite of the pita sandwich.

Mr. Porter is the CEO of a big advertising firm in Kalamazoo that’s about forty minutes away from here. The firm seems to always have some dinner or event that requires the Porter family to dress up. Jax hates it, but he hates it less when I’m allowed to tag along. When I go, we manage to make it fun.

We live in the country, outside of the small town of Athens—and I’m talking, a one-blinking-red-light-in-the-center-of-town small. We have one gas station, a bar, a family-owned ice cream place, and that’s about all.

Jax’s dad is probably one of the most successful people in our town, and although they are good people, his parents carry themselves with an air of superiority, especially his dad. My dad is a lawyer, working in the same city as Mr. Porter, but I’d say our family is more easygoing.

I grab a pita and a glass of lemonade, and I collapse onto the lounge chair next to Jax. “It won’t be that bad.” I nudge him with my shoulder.

He gives me an unenthusiastic grunt and finishes his pita in four bites. “Well, I have an hour. What do you want to do? Play Mario?”

“No. I don’t want to be inside. Ride bikes?” I ask.

“Yeah, that’s cool.”

My mom approaches me with a metal aerosol can in hand. “Lily, let me spray you again with sunscreen.”

I stand without argument and put my arms out, preparing for the SPF onslaught. Even though I just lathered up over an hour ago, I know better than to question my mom when it comes to my skin protection. I am engulfed in an SPF cloud smelling of coconut and chemicals.

“Okay, let me get your face with the lotion.”

“Mom, I can wipe lotion on my face,” I say. I turn toward her and watch her lather up her hands with the greasy cream.

“I know, honey. I just want to make sure you’re good and protected. The sun is hot today.”

I have a light splattering of freckles across the brim of my nose, which my dad insists is the cutest part about me. If it weren’t for my mom’s commitment to skincare, I would probably be covered in them. I’m definitely the most fair-skinned person in my family. My mom and Keeley have blonde hair and blue eyes as well, but both their skin and hair are slightly darker than mine.

“All right, Jax. Let me get you now.”

“I’m fine. Really, Miranda,” he protests.

“Nope. Your skin needs protection, too. Come here, you.”

I giggle at his expression as my mom rubs sunscreen onto his face. He is definitely the opposite of me with his raven hair and olive skin.

His emerald eyes look mildly annoyed as he turns away from my mom. “Ready?”

“Ready, Freddy!”

“Don’t forget your helmets!” my mom yells as we make our way toward the garage.

I wave my arm in acknowledgment of her directive.

We pedal along the country road that weaves between expansive cornfields. The cornstalks are taller than me now, which is an indication that summer will soon come to an end and we will welcome our seventh grade year.

“What do you want to do for your birthday this year?” he calls out as we glide speedily down a hill.

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

Both our families make a big deal of birthdays, throwing extravagant parties.

“Well, thirteen is, like, an important one, isn’t it? I’m sure your mom is going to go all out.”

My birthday is at the end of August, right before school starts up. “Not sure if I want a huge party this year. Maybe I should just do something with you and my family.”

“What about all our friends from school?”

“Meh,” I let out an uninterested sound.

Sure, I have friends at school, but Jax is my best friend, and he’s the only one who really matters.

“Come on. You don’t want to invite our whole class and have a giant bash? We could have a bonfire outside and put on music for dancing. Maybe we could play Spin the Bottle or something. You’re going to be thirteen. Don’t thirteen-year-olds do stuff like that?”

“Jax! What has gotten into you today? First, songs about dirty stuff, and now, kissing? I’m not letting our whole class put their germy mouths on mine. Ew. No, thank you. Dinner and a movie, it is!”

He throws his head back and laughs. “You’re a prude sometimes, Miss Lily Madison. I feel bad for the first guy who tries to date you.”

“You’re being so weird right now. I think we both have a while to worry about that.”

“I’ve been thinking about asking Katie Phelps out.”

Katie is one of the most popular girls in our class. I’m not sure how much that is saying, considering we go to such a small school and our class consists of sixty kids. I think of her as a friend, but she can be bossy sometimes.

“Really? How does that even work? You are too young to date.” I feel tightness in my chest that I can’t quite explain.

“Yeah. Well, obviously, I wouldn’t literally take her out, but we would talk on the phone and see each other at school. We could have our parents drop us off at the movies or something, too. You and I do that all the time.”

“I know, but that is different. We are friends. Will your parents really let you hang out with a girl you like?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll see.”

“Well, when would we hang out?”

I don’t want to share Jax. He’s too good for Katie anyway.

“We would hang out like normal. That wouldn’t change.” He sounds sure.

“Yeah, it’d better not,” I say with authority.

“You’re silly. Come on. Let’s head back.”

I nod, knowing that Landon is going to be at my house shortly to get Jax.

We pedal back to my house in relative silence. I’m lost in my thoughts, wondering why he wants to date. It seems kinda odd to me. If I’m honest with myself, I’m nervous. Jax has been my partner in crime since we could crawl. I don’t want to share him, not yet.

I change my mind on things a lot, but Jax is the one thing I’m sure of. He’s my best friend, and I’m not letting him go.

Five Years Later

I scan the crowded stands for my friend Kristyn as I walk toward the packed seats. Everyone from our town came out for tonight’s football game against our rival school. I stop a moment in front of the concession stand near the chain-link fence surrounding the football field and watch the band’s preshow. The cheerleaders are in sync with the music as they dance on the track that circles the field. They are wearing their skirts today due to the unseasonably warm autumn air. I love Friday night football games on our home field, especially when the weather isn’t awful.

“Lily!”

I hear my name and turn to see Kristyn waving at me from the third row. I wave back and make my way toward her.

I shuffle my way in front of the seated people, inching closer to Kristyn in the center of the row.

“Hey.” I smile when I reach her. “Sorry I’m late.” I don’t offer up an excuse because I don’t have one. Sometimes, I’m not always the most punctual person. Even though I was supposed to meet Kristyn in the parking lot twenty minutes ago, I’m just proud of myself that I made it here well before kickoff.

“No worries.” She smiles warmly at me.

Kristyn is my closest friend at school besides Jax. She is great and would do anything for me. I adore her.

I look out onto the field in search of him. I know it sounds silly, but I feel his stare on me. I catch his gaze as he stands there, all padded up while holding the football to his chest. I wave, grinning enthusiastically, before giving him a thumbs-up. He shakes his head, and his eyes shine with humor. Though I can’t hear him, I know he chuckles before turning away from me, throwing the football to another player.