Finding the Way Back (Book 1 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) (10 page)

Summoning a smile, Laurel said, “I hope you have a nice time. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

In her classroom, Laurel looked around at the rows of desks.
She needed to stop dwelling on what she didn’t have. Her job was off to a great start, she’d just made a friend, and Colton hadn’t tried to contact her. She should be happy.
With an impatient movement, she slid a bundle of papers into her bag. She’d go home, change clothes and take advantage of the swimming pool across from her apartment.

* * * *

Laying her tote bag and towel on a chair, Laurel descended the steps into the warm water. As she swam laps in the rectangular pool, the knot of tension in her stomach eased. She turned over and floated on her back, her eyes focused on the fluffy, white clouds in the sky. This is what she needed to do every day after work, at least until the weather got too cold to make swimming enjoyable.

She was sitting on a lounge chair towel-drying her hair when she heard the pool gate open. A young couple walked past her and sat down at one of the tables in the corner. Laurel didn’t look in their direction, but in the absence of anyone else present, she caught most of their conversation.

“Did you get the job or not, Tony?”

Laurel’s hands stilled.
Where had she heard that voice before?

The man laughed. “I start on Monday.”

“I hope you remembered to stop by and thank my favorite doctor. He put a good word in for you.”

“Of course I did. He invited me to go fishing tomorrow.”

“What about me?” the woman asked.

“Do you want to go fishing with three guys?”

“I’ve always liked being the center of attention.”

“Isn’t my attention enough?”

Feminine laughter filled the air and something clicked in Laurel’s brain; that voice belonged to the nursing aide from the ER. She twisted around to see if her hunch was right. Before she could glance away, the woman looked up and smiled.

“Hello, again. How’s the ankle?”

Amazed that the woman remembered her, Laurel answered, “It’s much better; thanks for asking. I’m sorry; I can’t recall your name.”

“It’s Amber. I’ll tell Dr. Samuels I ran into you. He likes to know how his patients are doing.”

“I’m not really his patient,” Laurel hurriedly pointed out. The last thing she wanted was for Amber to mention her to Colton.

“You’re the one with the same last name – I remember telling him about it after you left. We’re all curious about Mrs. Samuels so when I saw your name, my imagination went wild.”

Why hadn’t Colton told Amber who she was?
Was it because he knew she wouldn’t want him to or because he didn’t want anyone to know?
“I don’t understand why it matters.”

“Well, when a doctor is young and good looking, everyone wants to know if he’s married, divorced, or otherwise available. I think every female in the hospital under forty has tried to get a date with Dr. Samuels, but you can tell he’s not interested.”

Laurel shouldn’t have asked; she didn’t want to hear this.
When it had mattered most, Colton had been all too interested.
“If he’s married, he shouldn’t be interested in anyone else.”

Amber laughed. “That’s just it; he keeps to himself and never talks about his wife. The prevailing theory is that she died. In any case, he’s a big improvement over most of the doctors. When someone messes up, he doesn’t cuss them out in front of everyone. He takes them aside and talks to them privately. And if you need help, there’s no one better to turn to.”

“You seem to know him well. How long have you worked with him?”

“About five months.”

Colton had been gone from Charleston all that time, and she hadn’t known.
Laurel had no one to blame for that but herself; she was the one who cut off communication between them. It was only fitting that her stubbornness had resulted in her present predicament. If she’d had any idea he was coming to Brunswick, she would have made plans to go somewhere else. “He’s certainly made a good impression on you.”

“It’s because he really cares. With some people, it’s just an act. With Dr. Samuels, it’s who he is.”

This was something Laurel knew well; that quality of kindness is what drew her to him in the first place. In a strange way, she was relieved he hadn’t changed. She couldn’t explain this contradictory pattern of thought. None of it made sense. She knew him to be everything Amber said; she also knew him to be deceitful and incapable of being trusted. “Do you live at the Sea Breezes?” she asked in an effort to steer the conversation in a new direction.

“No, Tony’s mom manages this place so we come here to use the pool on our days off.”

“This is my first time; I’m surprised it’s not more crowded.”

“It’s always like this.”

“That’s good to know. I think I’ve stayed out long enough for today. I don’t want to burn. Have a nice weekend.”

* * * *

Back in her apartment, Laurel tried to forget the conversation by the pool. Amber’s comments might be an indication that Colton had learned something from his experience, but nothing could erase what he’d already done.

She was in the kitchen peeling an apple when someone knocked on the door. As she glanced through the spyglass, a smile touched her lips. Her sister was nothing if not persistent.

“Don’t you have anything else to do other than bother me?” she asked as Rose waltzed through the door.

“I’m making up for lost time. Got any plans for tonight?”

“Do I look like I have plans? I’m wearing a bathrobe.”

“Put on some clothes. I’m taking you to my house for dinner. Greg is making his famous ribs. I know you don’t want to miss that.”

“You’re right; I don’t. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be ready to go.”

Rose followed her into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. “If I told you Colton is coming for dinner, what would you say?”

Laurel swung around from the closet so quickly she almost fell down. “I’d say that you’ve lost your mind. You didn’t invite him, did you, Rose?”

“No, I wouldn’t spring something like that on you. But I think the two of you need some kind of shake-up to get things moving.”

“I’ve had enough shake-ups,” Laurel retorted as she slipped a t-shirt over her head.

“I ran into him last weekend – the day after your trip to the hospital.”

“How did you keep that information to yourself all week?” Laurel asked as she grabbed her shoes from under the bed.

Rose laughed. “It wasn’t easy, believe me. He was clearly uncomfortable talking to me. All he said was everything was his fault.”

“He shouldn’t have said anything; I asked him to leave you alone.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

Laurel’s eyes filled with tears. “Isn’t it enough that I have to live with what happened? Does everyone else need to know?”

Rose reached over and pulled Laurel down on the bed beside her. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to get you upset. I guess I’m the eternal optimist. I want to believe you and Colton can still work things out. Remember that Bible verse Mom stitched and hung on the wall of the living room? ‘Love hopes all things, believes all things, bears all things, endures all things’.”

Laurel impatiently wiped at her eyes. “I believed that at one time, too, Rose. But when my love was put to the test, I couldn’t hope, believe, bear or endure.”

For a few seconds, the only sound in the room was the whirring of the ceiling fan above their heads. Then in a low voice, Rose said, “I can only think of one reason for you to say that. Did Colton cheat on you?”

Laurel nodded slowly, her lips quivering. “I failed him in some way, Rose,” she whispered. “If I’d been a better wife, he would never have gone to anyone else.”

Clearly shaken by this revelation, Rose slipped an arm around Laurel’s waist and drew her close. “You didn’t fail anyone, do you hear me? You can’t blame yourself for something he did.”

“You’d be surprised how easy it was. I had to find a reason, and it was the only one that made sense.”

“But it’s not the right one, Laurel. Even Colton admits that.”

Laurel sighed heavily. “He never tried to defend himself or make excuses. How could he? I found them together. You can’t imagine how humiliating and degrading that was. To this day, I get sick to my stomach when I think about it. As things are, I can’t be a wife to him. I refuse to give myself to someone I can’t trust.”

“I can understand that. What I hate is that you’ve had to bear this burden alone.”

“It’s not a burden that’s easily shared. His betrayal made me question everything I ever believed about love. Not only was his behavior a rejection of me physically, but it was also a reflection of how little he valued me as a person. I think that hurt me more than everything else.” Laurel pulled away from Rose, her eyes dark with pain. “Asking him to move out was as much to punish him as it was to protect myself. I didn’t want him telling me how much he loved me when I knew it was a lie. The separation was a means to give me time to figure things out. All I’ve learned about myself is that I’m a coward. I can’t risk getting hurt again.”

“So you’re just going to let things continue as they are?”

“It’s not as if my options are that great, Rose. Divorce isn’t something I ever thought I’d have to consider and going back to Colton is unthinkable.”

“Maybe you struggle over what to do because part of you doesn’t want to let go of your marriage.”

Laurel once again located her shoes and slipped them on her feet. “I don’t know, Rose. I just don’t know.”

“Well, we can’t solve this problem today. This is going to take time and prayer. In the meantime, Greg probably thinks I’ve forgotten the way home. Let’s go put him out of his misery.”

Chapter Six

As Colton strolled out of the changing room, he checked his messages. He didn’t usually see patients on surgery day, but one of his post-op patients had called in that morning complaining of swelling. He told his secretary to give the man a late appointment. Between two messages from Spence was the text from Greta. The patient was coming at four-thirty.

When he reached the ground floor of the hospital, he took a shortcut to the parking lot which brought him near the ER. As he passed the nurses’ station, Amber’s head popped up.

“What are you doing here? You’re not on call.”

“I came to see you,” he replied with a tired grin.

Amber smiled widely. “Thanks for letting me tag along on the fishing trip last weekend.”

“Shh. We don’t want that to get around.”

“I forgot to tell you that I saw the pretty lady you treated – the one that hurt her ankle. She lives at the Sea Breezes.”

He passed that apartment complex all the time on his way to Spence’s house. “How was she doing?”

“She’s getting around good. You know, I should be jealous. Tony couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful she is.”

Colton drummed his fingers on the counter. “Tell him to keep his eyes on you and off my wi..., eh, I mean, other women.”

Amber slapped her hand on the counter. “I knew it! That’s why she has the same last name. She’s your wife, isn’t she?”

He thought about denying it, but couldn’t make himself do it. “Yes, but we’re not together right now. That’s all I want to say about it, okay?”

“I won’t tell a soul – not even Tony.” She looked away from him. “I hope things work out for you. She seems nice.”

“Thanks, Amber. See you later.”

* * * *

At his office, Colton was greeted with relief by Greta; she’d been afraid he hadn’t received her message. As he reassured his worried patient that everything was healing as it should, he wished he knew how to heal Laurel’s heart. He’d give anything to be able to earn her love again.

Greta stopped him as he passed by her desk on his way out the door. “Hey, don’t forget we’re supposed to be getting sponsors for that 10K run coming up in two weeks.”

“What are you talking about?”

Her eyes dropped to the papers in her hand. “The Arthritis Foundation is doing their annual 10K run. You signed up to run in it.”

Colton knew he hadn’t. “You’d think I’d remember doing something like that.”

He didn’t sound angry; Greta braved a glance at him. He was smiling faintly. “Okay, I signed you up, along with several other people including myself. It’s for a good cause.”

“So having signed me up, you’re not going to get the sponsors?”

“You won’t have any problem; just flash that cute smile of yours. All the women will be thrilled to pay money to watch you run around in shorts.”

He laughed at this. “Compliments aren’t going to get you out of trouble, Greta. You better hope I don’t have anything planned for that weekend. Did you take care of the Subway order for me?”

Greta glanced at her watch. “About an hour ago.”

“Great; see you tomorrow.”

* * * *

Colton slowly counted to ten as he listened to the teenager standing at the register admit she’d misplaced the order Greta called in earlier. There was no way he could remember what each person wanted nor was this delay going to help him get to the men’s Bible study at church on time. Mindful of the line behind him, he made a decision.

“Can I get ten Italian foot-longs with everything?” he asked.

“Any chips or drinks with those?” the girl asked tonelessly.

“No, just the sandwiches. How long will it take to fix them?”

“About ten minutes.”

“I’ll be back to pick them up.”

Colton walked past a hair salon and a florist shop before turning into the grocery store. He grabbed a few liters of soda and two bags of chips and headed to the check-out. After putting the items in his car, he returned to Subway. His quick steps slowed to a halt when he breezed through the door and caught sight of Laurel standing in line talking to another woman.

For a moment, he couldn’t breathe or even move. In slow motion, he saw her head turn and knew the exact moment she saw him. The pretty smile on her lips faltered and disappeared, as did the light of happiness in her eyes. Her reaction stabbed him like a knife. After all this time, her disdain for him still hurt. He quickly averted his eyes, wanting to leave, but knowing he had to stay no matter how little she cared for him being there. He couldn’t show up at church with just soda and chips.

Forcing his feet to move, he took his place at the end of the line. When he got the nerve to raise his eyes from the floor, Laurel had reached the counter. The sound of her voice was like a caress against his skin. It had been so long since he heard it and now he’d done so twice in the last ten days.

He watched as she moved along the glass-plated counter. Her hair hung loose down her back, just touching her waist. Colton remembered how it felt running through his fingers. Another shaft of pain shot through him.
Why was he torturing himself with these thoughts? She’d never let him close enough to touch her hair again.

Laurel opened her wallet to pay. In a few seconds, she’d be gone and who knew when he’d run into her again. He felt as if his future happiness depended on what she did from this point forward. If she left without looking at him, he didn’t know what he’d do. With anxious eyes, he watched her take the bag from the cashier, willing her to look at him. All he wanted was one look.
Was that too much to ask?

She moved a few steps past the counter, and he realized she was waiting for the woman behind her. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Turning his attention to the man in front of him, he began quoting Bible verses in his head.

“Still hooked on Subway?”

Colton jerked at the sound of her voice, too surprised to find her beside him to do anything other than stare at her.

“Are you okay?” Laurel asked when he didn’t say anything.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I didn’t think you’d speak to me.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she said, “I’ve got to go.”

“I know it doesn’t matter to you, but thanks.”

“For what?” she asked in surprise.

He smiled faintly. “For not ignoring me.”

She nodded and turned to join her friend. Colton didn’t watch them leave so he didn’t see the puzzled glance Laurel sent him as she went through the door.

* * * *

Laurel regretted her actions almost immediately.
Why had she spoken to Colton?
It hadn’t been necessary; he’d made it obvious he wasn’t going to acknowledge her. His eyes had swept over her so quickly she could almost believe he hadn’t noticed her. So why had she gone against her better judgment and approached him? All she’d accomplished was setting a precedent that she’d have to undo the next time they ran into each other.

Patty threw her several inquisitive glances but didn’t say anything during the drive to the park where they planned to enjoy their late lunch. Only after they’d eaten did she finally turn to Laurel with a sly grin. “Okay, Laurel Samuels. Who was that adorable man in Subway?”

“Just a guy I used to know.”

“Before you met your husband? This has all the makings of a good story.”

Laurel shook her head. “No, Patty, that guy
is
my husband.”

“What? I assumed when you told me you were separated that your husband was still in Charleston.”

“That’s where he’s supposed to be. In a strange turn of events, we both ended up here.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“It’s inconvenient, that’s for sure. Now, enough about him. You’re the local expert. Where do we go to get party supplies?”

Patty accepted the change of subject with a philosophical grin. “There’s a place not too far from here. Thanks for coming with me. I’m not the best planner, and everyone knows it. I can’t figure out why they keep asking me.”

“Because they know you won’t refuse. I got roped into doing all kinds of things at my old school because I couldn’t say no.”

“I don’t mind doing this. Our headmaster has worked hard on fundraising to the point that our tuition is among the lowest of all the private schools in Georgia. This tenth anniversary party is a great way for the students, parents and teachers to show their appreciation.”

“Have they thought about inviting the donors who’ve sponsored scholarships?”

“Most of them prefer to be anonymous. Here we are. I suppose we’ll have to stick with blue and gold.”

Laurel laughed. “Those are the school colors.”

As she followed Patty into the store, Laurel kept thinking about what Colton had said. He made it sound as if her speaking to him was something important. She hoped he wasn’t going to build too much on that because she had no intention of letting him back into her life.

* * * *

As the last of the speakers rose to take his place at the podium, Laurel and Patty slipped out of their seats and made their way to the back of the auditorium.

“You slice the cake, and I’ll pour the drinks into glasses,” Patty whispered in a low voice.

Laurel nodded and went to stand behind the table that was covered almost entirely by a white sheet cake decorated garishly with blue and yellow piping. “I don’t think we’ll run out of cake,” she said softly as she grabbed the silver knife.

Patty started to laugh and then clamped her hand over her mouth. “Okay, so I overestimated how much cake we needed.”

“I’m not complaining. I don’t mind taking some of this home. I love cake.”

Patty eyed her tall, slim figure with slight envy. “You’d never know it.”

“I’m one of the lucky ones; I don’t put on weight easily.”

Thunderous applause drowned out Patty’s reply. This was followed by the scraping of chairs on wood floors and murmurs of conversation. In a short while, the crowd thinned leaving just a few teachers and school staff.

By this time, Laurel’s feet were throbbing. She’d been in high heels most of the day. Turning to Patty with a tired smile, she said, “I’m going home. I’ve got tests to grade.”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

Before Laurel could make her escape, the headmaster appeared at her side. “I want to thank you for all your hard work.”

“Your welcome. Patty and I had fun doing it.”

“How are things coming along with the 10K run?”

“We’ve got twenty-five students and six teachers signed up.”

“Hmm. Not bad, but I’d like to double that. See what you can do. We can’t expect the community to support us if we don’t show up in significant numbers for things like this.”

“I agree. I’ve already enlisted my students to help get the word out.”

He took her arm and led her away from the others. “I took a chance hiring someone so young and pretty, but I think you’re going to work out fine.”

“Thank you.”

“I’d like to meet your husband. Did he come with you tonight?”

“No, he didn’t. We’re separated right now.”

“Were you separated when you interviewed for this position?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“We’re a Christian school, Laurel, and we don’t presume to judge anyone. However, we don’t have any divorced teachers on our current staff. I’d hate for you to be the first.”

She could feel her face turning red. “I don’t think it will come to that, but if it does, I hope you wouldn’t let me go because of something in my personal life.”

“That would be for the board to decide. Now, don’t get upset. It’s not set in stone and hopefully, you and your husband can work things out. That would be the best solution anyway.”

Laurel tried to smile, but her mouth seemed frozen. “Yes, it would.”

“I see someone trying to get my attention. Thanks again for your help. It’s great to see a new member of our staff getting involved so quickly.”

“Goodnight, Headmaster.”

As Laurel walked slowly to her car, her bitterness toward Colton rose within her.
How could she have spoken to him the other day? She should have thrown something at him instead.
Here was another example of how his actions continued to wreak havoc on her life. If he hadn’t been unfaithful, they’d still be together, and she wouldn’t be worried about losing her job.

* * * *

Colton parked his car in the designated area and followed the signs to the registration area. Greta pounced on him as he came around the corner of the building.

“Oh, good, you’re here.”

He smiled faintly. “You sound surprised. Weren’t you expecting me?”

“I had a few doubts. I’ve already had three people bail on me this morning.”

“Well, I’m here, and I know Amber and Tony are coming.”

They stepped up to one of the tables, signed in and received their official t-shirt. Greta slipped hers over the tank top she wore. Colton stripped off his polo shirt, threw it at Greta and put on the other one. He heard her low whistle.