Fixation (Magnetic Desires Book 3) (17 page)

"Then we don’t. We go forward. You, me, and Tia. We go forward."

"I can’t be with you for her."

"I didn’t mean that, and you know it."

Opening the door, she jumped out. "You do things to me, Leo. You make it so damn hard to think."

"Then don’t think." I bolted out of the car, raced around to catch her up tight against my chest, and consumed her mouth. She gasped under my demand, opening up so I could pour everything I had into the move of our lips against one another, the stroke of my tongue against hers. Tasting her sweetness, I devoured the small whimper that escaped her throat as she clutched at me. If I could have her like this forever then she’d be mine. When I took her like this, she couldn't say no. Lifting her up, I braced us against the hood of the car, gripping her ass as I pressed between her thighs.

The sound of crying pulled us apart, and Lola scrambled for composure. I ran my hand through my hair and stalked around the car to open Tia’s door. As much as I adored my little girl, her timing couldn’t have been worse. I unclipped her seatbelt and lifted her out. "Did you have a good nap?"

She rested her head on my shoulder while I carried her inside and laid her on the couch. Her eyes shut again, and I stalked back outside. Lola had her arms full of dishes and bags and I rushed to lighten the load. A vivid vision of me throwing the bags and dishes to the ground and gathering Lola up instead assaulted me, but I kept myself in check long enough to carry the stuff inside.

The moment she dropped the bags on the floor, I scooped her up and took to the stairs.

"What are you doing, Leo?"

"You’re mine, Lola. Maybe we can’t go back but I certainly intend to go forward, starting right now."

"But, Tia."

"She’s sleeping."

"No, I mean this isn’t a good idea. She’s the one that will get hurt if we fuck up again."

"I can promise you, sweetheart, she isn’t hurting as much as we are right now."

"Put me down."  She pushed against my chest.

Letting her slide to the ground, I pressed her into the wall, my hands either side of her head, trapping her against me. "How many times are you going to use that excuse to keep us apart?"

"It’s not an excuse."

"It is, Lola. I get it. I mean I truly get it. You’re scared to let me back in. Twice I’ve destroyed us, and you have every right to protect yourself."

"You didn’t destroy—"

I put a finger to her lips. "I did. I let you go, and then I pushed you away, because I couldn’t see past my own pride. But, sweetheart, I'm done with letting you be scared. I’m done with keeping my distance."

"This isn’t distance, Leo."

"We might be standing here, together, but you’re not with me. You’re still running scared. You’re still fighting what’s between us."

"There’s nothing between us."

I grasped her chin in my fingers. "There’s a bloody big something between us, and I am done pussy footing around it. I want you."

"I… don’t want you."

"Liar." Pulling her leg up around me, I pressed the bulge of my cock against her core. "Don’t you think I can smell it when you’re wet for me? Don’t you think I can see it in your eyes and the way you slide that sexy fucking tongue over your lip, like you’re looking to devour something? I know when you’re hungry for me, and I’m the only one who can give you what you need."

She groaned as I slipped my hand under her shirt and cupped her tit, grinding my palm against it. Her back arched, pushing her more firmly into my grasp. Hooking my fingers into her bra, I tugged it down until I could scrape my thumb over the areola. The nipple puckered and hardened under the attention.

"Okay, I’m a liar, but this...it can only be once." She moaned as I slid my other hand into the front of her jeans, my fingers slipping through her wet heat.

"Once every day for the rest of our lives. That’s as low as I’m willing to go." I dipped a finger into her slit, and her hips rolled to pull me in.

"I’m not sure. I don’t… I need time."

"All the time you want." Running my teeth up the column of her throat, I nipped at her jaw. "As long as it's with me."

"I can’t even…" She closed her eyes as I massaged her clit, her breath coming in jagged bursts.

"I’ll be patient, sweetheart, but I’m not going to let this go. You know I’m right." I fumbled with the zip on her jeans in my haste to have her. The sound of metal snagging as I reefed it down barely punctuated her sharp intake of breath. I pushed the denim off her hips. "I like it better when you wear a skirt."

"Why do you think I chose pants?"

"If you were in a skirt, I would be tasting you right now. I’d be on my fucking knees, my mouth between your thighs."

"Leo." She squirmed and rubbed her legs together.

Grinning, I slipped my fingers inside her again. "Easy, sweetheart. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to give you what you wanted."

She clutched my shoulders while I fucked her with my fingers, her hips bucking, her inner walls clenching at the little I was giving her. My cock craved her, wanted to slip between her pussy lips and feel her tighten around me.

A door downstairs slammed shut and we froze. Heavy footsteps sounded on the wooden floor. Drawing back, I couldn’t bring myself to let go of her. "Dammit."

"We can’t do this." She shifted, her hands going to her pants.

"The hell we can’t." Setting my mouth to hers, I used my tongue to keep her quiet while I plunged my fingers inside her, working her clit with the pad of my thumb.

She whimpered into my mouth, her hips bucking as she tried to climb my body, tried to get closer to what she wanted. Her orgasm tore through her. I could feel it in the way her legs tensed and her knees buckled as I captured her quickened breath and the deep throaty moan that ripped from her lips. Gently, I eased out of her and did up her pants while she sagged against the wall. Grasping her hips, I pressed into her letting her feel how hard I still was for her. I took her bottom lip between my teeth and tugged at it. "This is what you do to me every damn time I'm near you. And it’s not just the sex, love, it’s the way you handle me at my worst and the way you make me need to be the guy who wants to win you over every single day. I’m going to convince you I’m not going anywhere. That I'm not going to be stupid enough to let you go again."

"Leo, please." Her voice cracked.

I let her go. "Just think about it."

She nodded, and I stroked her cheek before turning and running down the stairs. Mike glanced up from his paper as I passed him in the kitchen. He tapped his fingers on the envelope beside him. "You saw these?"

"Yeah," I muttered, not wanting to talk about it.

"Good luck," he called as I let myself out the back door.

I didn’t need luck to get her back. I was going to make her realize that we were us for a reason. But luck wouldn’t hurt. Darting a glance at the sky, I crossed to the truck.
We’ve been through enough. Just let us be happy.

I knew it wouldn’t help. It was all on me, and I was damn well going to show her we could be happy again. Jumping into the truck, I headed for home. Being so close to having her and not being able to sink into her had left me with a problem I needed to take care of on my own.

Lola

I smiled as I walked into the kitchen. Leo sat beside Tia at the counter while Mike, sleeves rolled up to his elbow and a tea towel over his shoulder, worked over the stove. Leo nursed a beer as the two bantered back and forth and Tia colored. Crossing the room, I hung my jacket and bag on the hooks near the back door. "Hey, princess, Mike, Leo."

Mike darted a glance between the pot he was currently stirring and me. "Hey Lola, how was work?"

"Good." Sniffing the fragrant air, I joined him at the stove and checked the pots. My stomach growled in appreciation. "God, I love when you cook."

Leo cleared his throat in the background, and Mike winked as he pecked my cheek. I squeezed his bicep. "Did Mellie drop in?"

"Yes. She left before this sod showed up." He cocked his head in Leo’s direction. "She will get over it in time."

I skirted the counter to wrap my arms around Tia and plant a kiss on the top of her head. "How’s my baby?"

"Good, Mom." She kept coloring, and I glanced at Leo, wondering if I would ever get her undivided attention again.

"What about me?" Swinging the stool to face me, he grinned. "Everyone else gets a kiss."

Carefully keeping my distance, I swatted his arm on my way past. "You’re here late."

Mike lifted his head. "I invited him to stay for dinner."

"Did you, now?" I raised an eyebrow as I took the spoon out of his hand and tasted the sauce he’d made for the chicken. "This is… Marry me?"

Mike laughed and dipped his head to whisper in my ear. "You, my girl, are playing with fire. There’s a man over there who looks like he’s ready to launch himself over here and pull me apart with his bare hands."

I glanced back to find Leo staring at us, his body tight as he practically levitated off the chair, his gaze narrowed under drawn brows. My heart leaped, and I stifled the grin that threatened to split my face, keeping it to a lift of one corner of my mouth. "I guess you can stay...for Tia. Do you need me to set the table, Mike?"

"No, it's done. Why don’t you go shower and by the time you’re finished we’ll be ready to eat."

I nodded and scooted out of the kitchen. My first week fully back at work had been both a relief and intense. My hands no longer hurt but I’d lost some of my fitness in those weeks, and I hadn’t seen Leo since the day we went to lunch with his family, since he’d had me up against the wall and ... I bounced up the stairs and into my bedroom, stripping off my clothes as soon as I closed the door. Five classes back to back this afternoon had left me more than a little sweaty and on the nose. In the bathroom, I turned on the shower and stepped under the spray. It streamed over me, obliterating the accumulation of dirt, and clearing my mind. I thought better in the shower, but tonight the only thing that came to mind was Leo’s face when I’d asked Mike to marry me. Mike had been right about Leo looking ready to pull him apart, but it wasn’t that or the hot shower which had my body temperature rising. I hadn’t been able to get him out of my head all week. Hadn’t been able to shake off his words or the way he’d taken control, showing me he meant them. With how busy I'd been at work, my mind shouldn’t have been consumed by him, but it was. Now, he was here, staying for dinner and staring at me like he wanted to devour me. Getting that image out of my head was impossible.

I didn’t have an answer for him over whether we could move forward together, or whether I could leave my fear of failure behind, but that didn’t stop me from remembering his hands on me, inside me, and craving more. I missed the crazed passion that had come with his anger when we’d first found each other again. Soaping my palms, I ran them over my breasts as I allowed the image of the first time he spread me out on his desk to linger in minute detail. Tweaking a nipple between my fingers, I pictured the way he’d used his mouth on my tits to draw pleasure to my core. I wandered my fingers down between my thighs. Oh God, the way he’d licked and nipped at my pussy. The memory came to life while I rubbed at the already sensitive spot.

It took only a moment to finish myself off and then I squeezed shampoo into my hand and rubbed it vigorously into my scalp. Did I have any right to think about doing those things with him when I wasn’t certain I could give him what he wanted? I couldn’t deny my body craved his touch. Each time he’d stolen a kiss or a touch over the past couple of weeks, he’d only stoked the fire, and Sunday afternoon had barely taken the edge off. But he was asking too much, wanting us to be a family.

I ran conditioner through my hair, rinsed, and shut off the water. A dead man carried most of the blame for our failure, but it was more than that. We’d always had the fire, the spark, but the trust hadn’t been an easy thing for us. Could we put the past behind us and try again, or would I always wonder when life would come between us?

It wasn’t only him and I the future affected, and I couldn’t let our daughter carry the burden of our mistakes. I snagged a towel and dried off before combing my hair and throwing it up in a loose bun. Shoving on an old sweatshirt and pair of jeans, I opened the door and headed down to dinner, leaving my desire locked in the bedroom.

Leo

I had a plan to get her to remember that we were good together. It wasn’t going to be easy. She’d always been stubborn, and I’d given her enough to be stubborn about, but her using our daughter as an excuse to not want to be together wasn’t strong enough to keep me from getting her back. The ground between us was littered with years of damage, individual and together, but even then, I found myself drawn to her, and she couldn’t deny feeling the same.

Getting Mike to ask me to stay for dinner had been a stroke of luck, or perhaps not, since I’d refused to budge until Lola got home. Making sure the only reasonable spot for her to sit was beside me had been a little harder at the large dining table.

"You know what makes this sauce great?" Mike smirked as he ladled creamy sauce over the chicken he’d cut up on Tia’s plate. "Time, patience, and persistence. You have to stir it enough that the herbs infuse properly, and then you have to let it settle. You have to give it time to—"

"And you’re not talking about sauce at all."

He put the dish back on the table and sat down. "No, I’m not."

My elbows resting on the table, I steepled my fingers under my chin. "How’s that working out for you?"

Wincing, he scrubbed his hand down the back of his neck. "Well, the sauce worked out pretty well."

I chuckled. "Birdie told me sometimes you have to be pushy."

Mike’s eyebrows shot up. "She said that?"

"Yeah."

"Wonders will never cease." He stretched out in his seat.

My gaze drifted to Lola as she entered the room. A tic started in my cheek at the site of the old gray sweatshirt and ripped jeans. She was trying to make herself undesirable by covering up in baggy clothes, but it only made me more intent on getting her out of them. Glancing about the table, her eyes widened when she realized she’d have to sit beside me, or alone at the other end of the table. Her fingers twitched and tugged at the hem of her sweatshirt while she crossed the room to take the seat I hoped she would use.

The sweet smell of some coconut marshmallow concoction she’d layered on hit my senses hard, making my mouth water. I leaned closer, drinking in the scent of her, and laid my hand on her knee. "Good shower?"

She jumped, her fork clattering against the plate. "So, Mike, how was work today?"

I picked up my knife and fork and tucked into the food in front of me while Lola made small talk with Mike in an effort to look unaffected by being so close to me. But, if the way her leg brushed against mine every now and then was any indication, she was struggling to keep her thoughts on the conversation and off me.

With dinner finished, Lola stood and gathered plates.

Mike stood, too. "How about you two ladies go spend some time together, and Leo can help me clean up."

"All right." Lola put the plates on the table. "Come on, princess. Let’s get you ready for bed."

The two girls left the dining room hand in hand and I stared after them, my chest tight.

"Hard, isn’t it? Having everything you want right in front of you and not being able to grab it." Mike patted my shoulder and strode out ahead of me.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to call him on his big brother attitude, but wondering why he took it on himself to be that person. While my old man had a certain talent when it came to stocks and bonds, and had in his infinite wisdom provided my brother and I with both the knowledge to follow in his footsteps, and a good financial start in life, Mike had risen from the dirt, slinging houses, until he could have anything he wanted. Hell, the man should have been able to get whatever he wanted without the money, but for some reason he seemed more than content to work hard and watch the world go by.

The girls were in the living room when we finished cleaning the kitchen. Mike poured scotch into glasses on the bar and handed one to me. Tia sat on the floor in front of Lola, who wielded a brush with a skill that made me feel awkward and clumsy. She glanced up to find me staring at her. "Do you want to do it?"

I gulped. "No. You have it under control."

A challenge in her gaze, she brandished the brush in my direction. "Come on, Dad, you’re going to have to learn to do this sooner or later."

I shoved my empty hand in my pocket. "Maybe later."

"Maybe now?" Tia gazed up at me with wide eyes, her mouth turned up in a pout that she knew I struggled to say no to.

Mike chuckled.

"Fine." I took a seat on the couch beside Lola and took the proffered brush. "What do I do?"

She bumped her shoulder against mine. "This part is easy. You know how to brush or comb don’t you?"

"Of course I do, but what if I hurt her?"

"I’ve gotten rid of the knots."

I sat forward and placed my palm on the top of Tia’s head, running the brush down through the length of hair. "Okay, that wasn’t so bad. I guess I could—"

"Now you need to braid it." Lola hid a chuckle behind her fingers.

Mike guffawed. "Good luck, man."

"I have to do what?" I darted glances between the two of them, sure I’d been set up.

"Braid it, Daddy." Tia lifted her hand up to show me the rainbow colored hair ties clutched between her fingers.

"I don’t—"

"Here." Lola started the braid. "It’s not that hard."

"You’ve had years of practice." I gaped.

Touching my hands, she moved my fingers over Tia’s hair. "Over, under, over, under, see."

I trapped her hand with mine and gave it a light squeeze. "I think I got it."

Her gaze darted down to my lap before she left the couch to stand on the other side of the room with Mike. I concentrated on finishing Tia’s hair, my chest puffing up when I secured it with the elastic. Tia jumped up and climbed onto the couch beside me, snuggling into my side and I kissed her cheek. "It’s good to know I’m not completely useless."

"Of course you’re not," Lola said.

There was that glance at my crotch again. I turned my attention to my little girl, needing to concentrate on her so I wouldn’t show how much Lola affected me. Tia yawned, and I glanced at the clock. Bedtime wasn’t far away, and then I’d concentrate on the woman who, despite how hard she tried to appear unaffected, couldn’t hide what she wanted.  

Each time I stole a moment with her brought her closer to giving in, and tonight I’d push her to the edge. I would remind her how good we were together, not only when it came to sex, but in the simple moments.

A small snore escaped from the little body beside me. In mere minutes, I'd be able to slide my hands up Lola’s thighs and dig my fingers in between her legs. I’d push her to give me another chance in and out of the bedroom, not for our daughter’s sake, but for ours.