FLAME (Spark Series) (19 page)

This time, I’m actually excited. A part of me is sad knowing it’s our last night to be alone, but knowing I’ll be seeing him in a month or so keeps me happy for now.

He walks back in shirtless, only wearing his low cut jeans.
Damn, those jeans
. They’re probably my favorite pair, and I have a feeling I know why he’s keeping them on for now.

“I love those jeans,” I say, eyeing him curiously.

I see the knowing-grin on his face. “I know you do.”

He crawls on the bed over me, kissing his way up. I only now realize he’s put on music from his iPhone. It helps me focus, keeping all irrational thoughts out of my head.

“I need to restrain you, but not the entire time.” He lifts up and grabs a sash from his bag. He makes sure it isn’t tied too tight, but tight enough that I can’t wiggle out of it.

“Do you remember your safe word?”

“I don’t need a safe word around you,” I argue, knowing I’m not going to use it anyway.

“Carissa, we always have a safe word. No matter what. I need to know that you remember it,” he demands in a deep, raspy voice.

“Okay, yes. I remember it. Flame,” I spit out.

“Good girl. Remember…you need to let me stay in control. Or you’re going to get hurt.”

My eyes bulge out.
Hurt?
What the hell is he going to do to me?

“Don’t be nervous, Doll.” He kisses me lightly on the lips.

I’m seriously regretting challenging him.

Or am I?

He’s set up everything he needs on the other bedside table, so I can’t see what he’s grabbing, but the next thing I know, his mouth is aiming for my breasts. My head falls back, and my eyes flutter shut as I anticipate his lips on me.

The sensation is cold. Ice cold.

My first thought is to try and push him off, get the cold wetness off me, but I can’t. He brings his arms over mine, holding them in place.

I finally realize he has an ice cube in his mouth. He continues rubbing it over each breast thoroughly, letting the water drip down as it melts against my heated skin.

I focus on the music and the scent of the candles. It’s cold and my first instinct is to wipe it off, but the longer he does it, the more I enjoy it.

I keep my eyes closed, wanting to savor the moment and enjoy it as much as possible. I feel him grabbing more things, but instead of being nervous or freaking out, I relax. I give in because I want him to have my body, to have
me
, and to have this experience with him.

I feel his hand press against my stomach, rubbing up and down between my breasts all the way down to my pussy. His hands are ice cold as he inserts two fingers inside me. My body tenses up in shock, but the deeper he gets, the better it feels.

“T-that’s…amazing…” I stammer. The cold wetness entering in and out of me as my body warms is erotic and amazing.

“Don’t move. No matter what. You understand?”

I nod, making sure my body stills.

“Focus on feeling, Doll. Don’t flinch.”

I do as he says and wait for his next move. A few moments pass before I feel something pouring on me. My first instinct is to scream out in pain because the shit is hot and it’s burning my skin, but before I can make a sound, it begins to cool down.

“Oh…god…” I wail out, the mixture of hot and cold is incredible. I want to clench my thighs because I can feel how wet it’s making me.

“It’s wax,” he confirms. “Don’t worry.”

He continues pouring the wax on my skin, making a line in between my breasts where it’s still chilled from the ice. It’s not as hot as one would think. I open my eyes slightly and see that he’s pouring it from pretty high up, making the wax cool down a bit before it even touches my skin.

My skin feels cold and numb from the ice, but as soon as the wax hits me, it’s another sensation all on its own, one I’ve never felt before. It strikes me suddenly, making my body both tingle and shiver from his touch.

“Oh my god…” I breathe out. I leave my eyes open so I can watch him. I can tell he’s enjoying it just as much as I am.

He switches back to the ice cubes, holding one in each hand. He starts at my wrists, slowly moving down my arms and neck. A chill runs through me, shivering as I lay on the bed being rubbed down with ice cubes.

That sounds insane, right? It’s not just my imagination that this is crazy?

But I roll with it. Drew has never let me down in the bedroom since our very first time. In fact, his knowledge and skill turns me on. I love a man who knows exactly what he’s doing, but he is much farther advanced. He’s let me be in control, knowing it’s what I needed at the time, but now, he takes over, making sure I’m fully taken care of.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, continuing his torturous play.

“More than I ever thought possible,” I murmur, soaking up the feeling.

“The ice and wax are somatosensory—making your body very sensitive in responding to the combination of hot and cold temperatures. You feel the sensations, allowing your body to have a sexual response instead of pain. The combination gives pleasure instead,” he explains.

“I-it’s…amazing,” I stammer. I feel the wax pour on me again, and I’m ready to explode, but I breathe through it, knowing I haven’t been given permission yet.

He repeats his process a few times over, making sure to kiss my chest and stomach in between each cycle of hot and cold. My body fills with torturous goose bumps, but his warm hands caress my skin. I can’t help the anticipation of him inside me, I’m greedy with desire for him.

He lets the wax drip down my stomach. This time I open my eyes and watch him. It’s sensual and personal. His eyes lock on mine, and I know for certain—I love this man. I love him so incredibly much. I’ve allowed him in—allowed him to take a sledgehammer and break down my walls. It wasn’t easy. It took months, but he did it. He’s made me into one of those lust-filled girly girls who goes all mushy hearted on a guy. And for once…I don’t even care that I am. I love that I’ve found the one who’s changed me.
For the better.

The wax doesn’t burn anymore. It cools right away. He rubs his hands over me, soothing and caressing me. It’s so much more than sex with him. It’s emotional. It’s heartbreaking. It’s something I never want to let go of.

He notices my lust-filled eyes and smiles at me. I feel him hard against me, and it only takes a moment for him to realize what I’m thinking.

He grabs the towel from earlier and cleans me up. His mouth finds mine, kissing me softly. It’s sensual and sweet, unlike our usual eager-filled kisses. I enjoy the slow torturous kissing, but I’m begging to touch him.

“Did you like that?” he asks, breaking the kiss. “The heat and ice play?”

I lick my lips, missing the touch of his instantly. “Yes…it was different, but so, so good.”

He smiles down at me, brushing a hand through my hair. “I want to make love to you until I have to leave Sunday.”

I giggle softly. “That’ll make for an interesting graduation ceremony.”

“Ah, fuck the ceremony. I can’t leave this bed.”

“Yes, you will. You’re going to your graduation whether I have to drag you there in handcuffs or not,” I scold.

“Handcuffs?”

I laugh at his eager puppy face. “Shut up and make love to me now,” I command.

And he does.

The whole night is amazing. I watch as he strips down to nothing, giving my heart that pathetic skip-a-beat nonsense. I memorize his body as my eyes linger over his muscular flesh. It’s going to be heartbreaking not to be able to admire him every day.

21

“You seriously look good in just about anything, don’t you?” I look at him in his suit and tie. He looks so sharp—his hair is slicked with a little gel, his face is clean shaven, his suit is perfectly pressed.

“I could get used to wearing a suit and tie,” he teases, winking at me.

“So….could…I.” I bite my lip, not hiding the fact that I’m staring at him, undressing him with my eyes.

“No ideas…” He points a finger at me. “You’ll have to wait until after the ceremony to maul me. My mother will kill me if I don’t look nice for the picture.”

“Well, here, let me help.” I grab my iPhone and begin taking pictures of him. “Perfectly pressed suit with a perfectly groomed graduate.” I toss my phone aside and walk over to him. “
Now
can I maul you?”

He laughs, grabbing my hips so they align with his. He pulls me toward him, letting me feel his hard cock through his slacks.

“Seriously? Do you get off on torture or something? Are you going to turn into an axe murderer who has sex with his prey before chopping their heads off and killing them?” I lean back, giving him my best concerned look.

“I get off on a lot of things…” he whispers deeply, leaning his face in closer to mine. “But you’re the only one who gets the pleasure of knowing all my dirty, kinky secrets.”

I lean into him, letting our lips brush. “Good. I don’t want to be one of those insecure girls who asks you if it’s going to stay that way. So without really asking, I’m just going to tell you—you’re the only guy I plan to be with after you leave. I don’t plan or
want
to be with anyone else.” I’m shaking as I confess my insecurities to him. I know we’ve made plans for my visit, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re attached at the hip. I understand things happen, heated things in the moment that make you do stupid things.

He brings our lips together, softly kissing me before leaning back once again. He smiles and brushes my hair back off my face, leaving his hands planted on my cheeks before responding. “As long as you’re mine and I’m yours, there will never be another girl. There never was since the moment I met you. I can’t even think about not being with you, Doll. You’re all I think about, even when we’re together. You’re all I can dream about. You’re all I fight for when I think how much this fucking sucks. I want to be strong for you. Because I know you need it more than I do. We can get through this. We
will
get through this.”

His words…his everything…I can barely hold myself together, and then he continues once more.

“I love you, Carissa. I may not know the exact moment I knew, or the timing of when I felt more for you than just lust, but I do know this… When I think about my life back in London, I feel sick. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to know what it’s going to be like waking up and you’re not there. I don’t want to know because it makes me sick just thinking about you not being within arms’ reach. But I love you. And I will do everything possible to make sure we’re together again. Whether we take turns flying back and forth, or I finally get the courage to drop to one knee and make you mine forever. Either way, this relationship is far from over. I’ll fight for you with every inch of my being to prove that to you. I’ll never give up on you.”

I’m in full blown tears by the time he finishes. His fingers swipe over my cheeks as I continue staring up at him. I don’t understand. I can’t understand how I found him. How he did this to me. How he can stand here and tell me the most amazing things a girl could ever want to hear, and yet I’m here crying like a fool because I’m so mad. I’m so mad he’s leaving. I’m so mad I let myself fall for him. I’m so mad that my heart is breaking more and more with every word he says.

“Carissa, say something.”

I can’t blink. I can’t look away. I can’t move.

I breathe out finally. “Don’t leave.”

His head bows down. I let the tears continue their departure, not even caring that it’s messing up the make-up I just perfected. It’s as if the realization has finally hit me. He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.

“Trust me when I say that I don’t want to leave.”

I finally look up, embarrassed that the tears have covered my entire face and his hand. I’ve never let myself cross this line before. I’ve always held back, not wanting to show defeat. But I’m not strong enough to hold it in anymore.

“I can’t,” I whisper. “I can’t watch you walk away.”

He cleans my face with his fingertips, brushing away all the tears. “Then come with me,” he whispers with a growl. He tilts my face up, looking right through me.

“Pack up my entire life and just follow you to London?”

“Yes…exactly. Come home with me.”

I think for a moment of all the reasons I should say no. I have nothing left for me here, except Velaney. I love Velaney and am happy she got the life she deserves, but perhaps…this is now
my
chance?

I swallow and whisper, “Okay.”

He jerks back. “Yes?”

I nod frantically. “Yes.”

He falls to his knees and engulfs me in a hug, his head resting on my chest. I wrap my arms around him, resting my head on top of his. I can’t believe he just asked me to follow him to London. Am I really doing this?
Can I do this?

“You sure don’t give a girl much notice,” I tease, needing to break the moment. “How am I going pack and get a passport in less than two days?”

He stands back up and looks at me with the biggest grin on his face. “I’ll come back for you. I have to go home and see my mother and make sure all my boxes arrive. But then I’ll fly back, and we can fly home together.”

“I feel like a blubbering mess with all this damn crying you’re making me do.”

“It’s about time,” he quips. “I was starting to get worried that you were unable to cry.”

I slap him playfully across the chest. “I just prefer
not
to cry, that’s all. It’s hard,” I confess. “I’m not good at being emotional.”

He wraps a piece of hair back behind my ear. I wouldn’t be surprised if I look like hell right now, make-up and hair completely messed up.

“I’ve noticed. But that’s okay.”

He cups my face and kisses me. It’s deep and desperate, needy and eager. I don’t want to forget this moment,
ever
.

It’s amazing how one person can change you. How one person can help you evolve into someone you were always meant to be. How that one person can make you forget about everything bad that’s ever happened.

“I’ll need to do some things before I leave. I need to pack, get a passport, sublet my apartment,” I ramble on, counting the endless things that’ll need to be taken care of beforehand. “I need to either see Velaney first or fly back to see her. She’s due to have the baby before the end of the summer.”

He looks at me sincerely, and I can tell how happy he truly is. “We don’t need to rush it, Doll. Take care of everything you need to first. London isn’t going anywhere.”

I smile and breathe out in relief. I can do this. I
am
doing this.

“I love you,” I say easily. “I never knew it was possible to love one person so much.”