FLAME (Spark Series) (25 page)

Epilogue

-Four years later-

It’s cold and windy the first week of October. Massachusetts has its familiar smell as it always does this time of year. The leaves changing color and falling to the ground are a welcome reminder that it’s fall and winter is soon approaching.

I’m kneeling on the cold ground, looking down at my mother’s grave. Written in script is her full name with birth and death dates.

There are no flowers or memorable gifts like the other gravesites have. It’s obvious no one’s been here. Not even my own father.

I decide to grab a few from the one next to it. She may not have been a good mom, but she at least deserves something. At least she does now in my eyes. I’ve let my past go. I’ve let it all go.

And I was too late.

Because she’s already dead.

And she’ll never know how I turned out.

I sit and allow myself to feel sorry for just a moment. I trace her tombstone with my finger, needing some kind of physical contact. Some physical connection to the fact that she’s really gone.

I dig in my coat pocket and take a picture out. I look at it for a moment before giving it a small kiss. I place it in front of her stone, standing it up against the flowers.

“It’s your grandchild, mom,” I say softly. “We’re really excited.
I’m
really excited.” I chuckle to myself.

“Surprise, right?” I look at the perfect tiny being on the ultrasound photo. I’m only a few months along, but I’ve never felt happier.

“If it’s a girl,” I pause to wipe the tears off my cheeks. “If it’s a girl, we’re naming her Hannah. And if it’s a boy, we’re naming him Matthew.”

I laugh to myself as I think of Drew’s owl shirt that I’m wearing underneath my jacket. It’s still my favorite shirt after all these years. It is just a shirt, but it means so much more than that. It reminds me of everything I feel for Drew and how it felt to think he was gone and out of my life forever. It taught me not to take people for granted, to not push away the ones we love, and to never lose who I really am—
independent and smart
—just like an owl. I never have to act like I’m someone else around Drew. I can just be myself, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. For someone to accept me,
for me.

Drew and I finally flew back to visit Julia and Kenna. We’ve spent the last four years focusing on school. Drew finished graduate school with a masters in counseling—specializing in couples sex therapy. He did double the internships, extending his schooling by two years. I graduated just a few months ago with a bachelors degree in business management. I hope to run my own business some day—hell, I could even run Drew’s office in the future after he gets his Ph.D.

But since we are here, I wanted to make sure to say goodbye to my mother—
one last time.

“I love you, Mom. I know we didn’t get a chance to bond or even be a family, and despite everything, I love you. You’re my mother. I will always love you.” I swallow, breathing out slowly as I brace myself for what I really came to say.

“I know you had a sickness, Mom. You were an addict. You needed help, and instead of staying to get you that help, I left. I should’ve known that instead of running away.” I wasn’t blaming myself for her mistakes, but I never tried to understand her before. “I forgive you. I really do. I hated you for a long time,” I admit. “But I don’t want to live like that anymore. I deserve more than that. My baby deserves more than that from me, too. So I’m moving forward, and in order for me to do that, I needed to tell you that.”

I close my eyes as the tears fall down my cheeks. I let myself cry, instead of choking them back. It feels good to release it all after all this time.

It feels really good.

*   *   *

“You okay?” Drew asks as he escorts me into Julia’s house.

I nod and smile at him. Because I am. I can honestly say it—
I really am.

“Oh my god!” Julia squeals as she sees me. Kenna’s directly behind her, doing the same.

“You guys act like I moved to the moon or something,” I tease, letting them tackle me in a group hug.

“Well, you may as well have,” Julia scowls.

“We missed you, bitch.” Kenna smirks.

“Thanks.” I laugh. “ I missed you guys, too.”

They both flock to my belly as soon as Drew takes my coat. They move their hands around like the baby’s going to come popping out at them.

“Okay, stop groping me,” I joke, pushing their hands away. “There’s not much there yet.”

“I still cannot believe it.” Julia stands in front of me, shaking her head.

“No shit,” Kenna snorts.

“Shut up,” I fire back at them. “Just because you girls don’t want to settle down…”

My eyes shoot past them as I see Landon and Zen, Drew’s old college friends, walk up behind Julia and Kenna.

They yell out Drew’s name and give each other shoulder pats and half guy hugs.

“What are they doing here?” I whisper to Julia and Kenna.

They both smile and stay silent. I look at them and then I know.
Of course.

“Nice.” I grin. “You two are up for dishing next!”

We all laugh together as we walk into the living room together. It’s nice being with them again. It’s familiar and comfortable, bringing back tons of memories that we share together from working at the bar for so many years. I really do miss them, but I wouldn’t trade my life in London with Drew for anything. Because right now, it’s
perfect
.

And my life has never felt like that before.

It's funny how you just meet this one person, and he makes you laugh, and gives you hope, and shows you the true meaning of happiness. He makes you realize that there's so much more to life, and when you're with him, you forget how empty you’ve ever felt before.

And before Drew…

I was a lost soul.

It’s like I had suddenly been woken up—letting him into my life, into my heart. I didn’t know I was lost, but he woke me. He woke me up from the life I thought I wanted. The life that wasn’t worth living anymore. But he made everything worth it.

He made me see…

…that he wasn’t just a flame.

He was my future.

My everything.

*   *   *

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The Riverside Trilogy

Kitchen Affairs
, Book 1

Kitchen Scandals
, Book 2

Kitchen Promises
, Book 3

*   *   *

The Spark Series

SPARK
, Book 1

BURN
, Book 2

FLAME
, Book 3

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Brooke is a Midwestern gal, from the cheese state of Wisconsin! Go Packers! She's a stay-at-home mom of three beautiful children (one daughter & two stepsons) and a black furry dog. She studied Psychology in college, and counseling and education in graduate school where she found her passion. Most days you can find her reading or writing, or just hanging out with her family! She loves movies, cooking, and shopping! She's addicted to Starbucks, Coach purses, and wearing yoga pants.

Find Brooke

http://www.facebook.com/brookecumberlandauthor

www.brookecumberland.com

Twitter @blcumberland

Follow on Pinterest – bcumberland8

Follow on Instagram – blessedmama26

Please consider leaving a review! I’d appreciate it very much! Thank you for reading!

Brooke

xoxo

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Brooke’s Signing Schedule

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Wicked Girls Book Weekend,
March 7-9, 2014

Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Authors in the City Signing,
March 15, 2014

New York City, NY

North Shore Author Signing,
April 12, 2014

Boston, MA

Cleveland Author Event,
April 26, 2014

Cleveland, OH

Tennessee Valley Author Event,
July 12, 2014

Knoxville, TN

Indie Mashup,
July 26, 2014

Springdale, AR

Penned Con,
September 12-13, 2014

St. Louis, MO

Rebels & Readers, 
November 8, 2014

Huntington, WV

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My wonderful, wonderful, wonderful betas. This book would not exist without you all. Well, it would, but it wouldn’t be any good. You have pushed me, motivated me, taught me, and showed me so much. It’s amazing how a group of people I’ve never met in real life before can become my family. It’s not just how you help me, rather it’s the interaction, the socialization, and love that surrounds me. It’s incredible. And it warms my heart every day I get to speak with all of you.

To the amazing readers who fell in love with Carissa in Spark and Burn, thank you for coming back to read her story! To the amazing readers who took a chance and read her for the first time, I hope you enjoyed her story.

To the wonderful writing community—there just isn’t enough to say about it. Authors supporting authors, readers supporting authors, bloggers supporting authors. It’s seriously the best community to be involved in. So many other authors have rescued me in a pinch or ‘writing crisis.’ This isn’t meant to be a competitive community, rather come together and bring our readers the absolute best books we possibly can. To my friends in
author support 101
group. You’ve become my cyber family, and I can’t possibly go a day without you. Thank you for all your wisdom and support.

To the readers who continuously support me and my work—thank you! Thank you for chatting with me, screaming at me, tagging me, telling your friends about me, and for reading anything I publish. You’re all amazing!

Hugs and kisses,

Brooke

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