FLAME (Spark Series) (24 page)

The nurses come and go, checking her stats and asking how she is. She denies any medication, because well, she’s crazy, but she does her best to breathe through all the contractions and pain.

“Oh my god! Get this child out of me! Ahhh!” she begins screaming as the doctor tells her it’s time to push.

“Velaney, sweetheart, you are doing great. Don’t give up,” Eric says trying to soothe her.

“Don’t tell me not to give up, dammit! This is taking too long! Something is wrong!” she cries out and it makes me nervous. She’s tired and in a ton of pain, and now she’s trying to push the baby out…

Eric and I each hold a hand, bracing ourselves for her tight squeezes and claws. Good god…just watching her,
I’m
in pain.

“Laney, sweetie, you’re almost there.” I rub a hand over her sweaty head, encouraging her. “Keep pushing!”

She screams out curse words, begging, pleading for the baby to come out. I feel horrible for her. I hate seeing her in pain.

“Please, give me the drugs! I’ve changed my mind! I need them!” she begs, crying. She grabs Eric by the collar and pulls his face into hers, “Give. Me. The. Drugs.”

My eyes widen as she gets aggressive. I continue rubbing her head and arm, hoping to soothe her as she continues pushing.

“Oh my god! I hate you! I hate you all,” she groans, falling back on the bed.

The doctor talks her into pushing one more time, and then she’s finally here.

“It’s a girl! She’s absolutely perfect. Congratulations, you guys!” the doctor calls out.

I smile so wide I’m practically laughing.

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart.” I hear Eric whisper. The moment is surreal and sweet.

“She really is beautiful,” I say as I hold her for the first time. She has a head full of dark hair and looks just like Eric.

“I can’t believe you pushed that out of your vagina,” I snort.

“Hey, you wanted to watch.”

“And I’m now regretting that. But I’m glad I’m here now.” I smile genuinely.

We all soak up the moment, admiring this tiny person who is now part of the family. Part of me regrets not being around to watch her grow up, but I make a promise to visit as much as I can.

We spend the next five days together. I try my best to give them their family private time, but Velaney is so exhausted that I help out any way I can. Eventually though, I have to say goodbye.

“Alright, little girl. Listen to Aunt Carissa.” I rock her back and forth as I walk around the living room. “I have to leave for a little bit. So you and I need to come to an agreement. You be good for your mama and daddy, and when I return, I promise to bring lots of goodies for you. Deal?”

She’s snug in a blanket, wrapped like a burrito. She’s beautiful. I inhale her fresh baby scent and frown when I have to put her back down. My car is here to take me to airport.

Velaney is an emotional basket case and cries the second we hug, which makes me cry.

“I’ll visit, I promise!” I squeeze her tighter.

“You better. I love you, Riss.”

I release and push back, getting a good look at her face. I chuckle at the both of us.

“We’re hot messes.”

It makes her laugh.

“I love you, Lane. I’ll call as soon as I land, okay?”

I hug Eric and kiss Megan once more before heading out. Ugh…I have a feeling this is never going to get easier.

26

I have serious jet leg by the time I land in London. I just want to go home and sleep. For days.

Drew’s at the airport, greeting me with a beautiful bouquet of roses.

“What’s with the flowers?” I ask suspiciously.

He wraps me in a hug and kisses me hard on the mouth.

“Can’t a boyfriend bring his girlfriend flowers?” he asks slyly.

“Suuuuure.” I grab them from him and immediately smell them, inhaling their fresh flowery scent. “Mm, they smell amazing. Thank you.”

We hold hands and walk to luggage claim. He’s a proper gentleman and carries my bags for me, not even letting me hold my carry on.

There’s a car ready to drive us home outside the airport. I’m so relieved as all I want is a shower and a bed. In that order.

He tells me to rest my head on his lap, so I do. It’s a long drive, so I gladly accept his offer.

I feel his hand rub my head, putting me in a lazy trance. I let my eyes close as the driver takes off.

Drew gently shakes me awake, and I jolt up, unaware that I had fallen asleep. “We’re here, Doll.”

I look outside and don’t recognize anything. “Where are we?” I ask confused, rubbing my eyes.

“Come and you’ll see.” He grins.

I follow him as we walk on the sidewalk up to a gorgeous building. “What are we doing?”

“Welcome to our new flat,” he says, smiling down at me as I stand here confused as ever.

“What? Really?” My eyes widen in surprise.

He grabs me, setting the luggage down. He tilts my chin up to look at him.

“This is our first flat together. It’s special. Because it’s where you and I are going to grow our lives together. We’ll fight. We’ll make up. We’ll grow. Whatever we do, we’ll be doing it together. Here. And I don’t want to wait another minute to start that life with you.”

“Wow…I…what about Hilary?” I ask, stunned.

“She helped me plot the whole surprise. We’re already all moved in.”

“Oh my god! No unpacking!” I laugh.

He grabs my hand and leads me toward the entrance. I’m giddy and nervous as we walk to the elevator.

I expect us to be on a lower level. Everything in London is crazy expensive, but the higher up the flats, the more they cost.

And then he hits the big P button.

“Where the hell are we going?”

He looks down and smiles without saying a word. He glances at our connected hands and brings it to his mouth, laying a perfectly soft kiss.

I stay silently stunned, letting him guide me out of the elevator as we walk into the most gorgeous place I have ever seen. It’s the top floor of the building, and I almost want to pinch myself to see if I’m still in the cab and dreaming.

“What? How? I—” I stumble. I’m in complete shock, knowing damn well we can’t afford a place like this. “How is this possible?”

He continues leading as we take the tour, showing me room after room. The place is huge and way too big for just two people.

“Isn’t it wonderful?” he asks, breaking the spell.

“Yes,” I agree. “Why are we here? I mean, how is this even an option? It’s huge,” I ramble off, seriously conflicted about how I feel.

He finally turns toward me and grabs my other hand, looking right into my eyes. “I bought this for us. I want us to have a life here. I want to share my future with you, and I hope you do, too.” I see the sincerity in his eyes and it makes me melt. He’s flawless anytime he shares his feelings with me, making me really want to try and do the same. I’ve never been good at expressing mine, but for him, I really try.

“I hope you know by now I want that, too. I’m not going anywhere if that’s what you’re thinking. The future doesn’t scare me anymore. Rather, it makes me happy. It makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, because I get to share my future with you.”

He leans in, grabbing my face and kisses me, deeply and tenderly. Everything with Drew feels right. It feels like I’m in the right place in my life with him. And I’ve
never
had that feeling before, so I know it’s true.

“So, are you going to tell me how we’re affording this place?” I break the kiss, demanding answers.

He takes in a small breath before answering. “Remember when I told you my grandparents own a vineyard?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I just recently found out my dad had them start a college fund for me. But since I had a full scholarship already, they made it so I would get it after graduation.” His eyes light up as he shrugs casually. “I got the check in the mail last month and wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh my god!” I squeal. “So all this time? All this time you thought they didn’t send money or help out, they were putting money away for you?” I ask in shock.

“Yeah…in a stock making
a lot
of interest.” He smirks a knowing smile, giving me all the information I need.

“I can’t believe it. How…I mean…how crazy to go all these years thinking that, and then to find out something like this.” I’m completely beside myself right now. I feel so happy for him, knowing that he at least wasn’t forgotten as I was.

“It’s going to be amazing,” he promises. “I know it’s much bigger than we need, but I wanted you to have some place special to call home. Something special that you’ve never been given before. Something that reminds you of how amazing and special you are.”

“I would’ve been content with a two bedroom flat, you know that, right? I’m not high maintenance.” I laugh, still stunned by this whole thing.

“I know.” He smiles devilishly. “What do you want to do first?”

I look around at the large space. There’s really nothing that needs to be done. I can tell he hired a decorator, as everything is so perfectly put together and accented.

“Well…let’s start over there.” I point to the sectional sofa. “And then I guess we can move to the shower.” I move closer to him, placing a finger on his chest and moving it down his stomach. “Then, perhaps the bed…or…”

His mouth captures mine before I can continue, making me giggle in eagerness. He grabs my hips and then my ass, picking me up so my legs wrap sensually around him. He walks us to the sofa and sits down, allowing me to straddle his lap and take control.

“Don’t think I didn’t pack
Lily
and all her friends,” he says slyly.

I laugh against his lips. “Good to know…”

I grind my hips against his hard bulge, forcing a moan out of him. “It’s time to christen this couch.”

I pull back and eagerly lift his shirt up and over his head. My eyes widen as I take in his new ink. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen—an owl.

I trace it with my finger, his eyes are on me the entire time. I notice tiny initials in the shading—
CMW.

Carissa Mae Wright.

“It’s beautiful,” I say, practically speechless.

Instead of desperately wanting to fuck him, I find myself wanting to make love to him. He really is my everything, and I can’t think of anything else I want to do than show him that.

“I always want you close to my heart,” he explains, looking down at the tattoo. “No matter what.”

I kiss him, slow and sweet. I take my time tasting him, showing him how much he means to me, never wanting to let him go.

He grabs my hips and forces me down on the sofa. He leans over me, pulling my shirt up and my jeans down. He takes his time, kissing up my legs, stomach, and ends at my neck.

He gently eases inside me, making the motion much more intimate. We keep our eyes locked on one another, not releasing contact as we slowly make love. It’s sweet and needy as we explore each other’s bodies like it’s our first time.

Being with Drew never feels like it’s enough. I always want more. More of him. More of us. I can’t ever imagine wanting to let him go.
Ever.

We christen the sofa…and every other room in the flat.

*   *   *

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Drew asks as I squeeze his hand in a death grip.

I nod anxiously, squeezing my eyes tight. “Yes. I want to do this.”

I’m laying flat on a tattoo bed. It’s cold and bright. I brace myself for the needle and pain that’s about to come.

The tattoo artist reminds me to stay still as he begins my drawing.

I breathe in and out slowly right before he starts. It’s not too bad, but I keep my focus on Drew and our connected hands. He rubs his other hand against ours, soothing me until it’s over.

Moving forward.
Written below the Chinese symbol for forgiveness.

It was my idea to get the tattoo, and of course, Drew supported whatever I wanted to do. I needed something meaningful, something to remind me that it’s okay to move forward,
to forgive.

It doesn’t take long and soon enough it’s done. I have it on my right hip, just below where my jeans lay, making sure to keep it secure and private.

The tattoo artist holds up a hand-held mirror, showing me the final result. It’s simple, yet beautiful. I absolutely love it.

“It looks amazing,” Drew whispers, leaning in for a quick kiss. “You did good. Didn’t even break any of my fingers,” he teases.

I feel proud.

Proud that I’ve come this far when only a year ago I was a damn mess.

Proud that I was able to let someone like Drew in.

Proud that I allowed myself to love in return.

Proud of the person I’ve become, despite all the life-long obstacles I’ve been thrown into.
Proud.