Following Your Heart (Love Conquers All) (9 page)

“Good for you Cass, I knew that you were always going to succeed.”

“Thank you, but it's also been tough being away from my family and the ones I love.”

Seth bit his lip and he just nodded, “Sometimes its worth it though, right?”

“I guess so.” 

He was certain he heard sadness, or a longing, in her voice.  He almost said something about it, but he was worried of her response.  “Well, from what I've heard you're happy, so...it must be all worth it.  Right?”

Cassie looked at him and he wished he could crawl in a hole.  “Yeah, I'm happy.  I still miss my family.”

Seth wished he hadn't said anything, but he was trying to change to a happier subject.  “Of course, I just meant...” he looked down at his food and tried to ignore the elephant in the room.

“New York has given me a lot of opportunities.”

Seth wanted to show her that he has never stopped caring about her, but she wouldn't understand.  “So, you're glad you left?”

The room turned edgy and he could feel the dread she was giving him, from her expressions.  “I don't think I could have had all of the possibilities without leaving.”

“Then, it was a good move.  That's what matters most.”

Cassie nodded, “Something that needed to be done.”

He felt a knife through his chest, the same one he had felt when she told him she was leaving.  “I didn't think you were making the right decision, but I can see that I was wrong.  Clearly New York suits you.”  He tried to put a hopeful smile on his face, but he saw her surprised expression.  “What?”  He asked as he took a drink, to clear his dry throat.

“I don't know, I guess I never thought I would hear you say that.”

“Well Cassie, let's face it...when we both moved on it was clear that we didn't really belong together.  It would have never worked out, so in a way it was a blessing.”  Seth saw Cassie look down at her plate and he wondered if he had gone too far.

She finally faced him, “I agree.  It worked out even better than I could have imagined.”

“Good.”  He went back to eating; he could tell that she was getting annoyed with him.  Most importantly, he was getting annoyed with himself.  He didn't know why he was acting like what they had all that time ago didn't matter, when clearly that was a lie.  “So, tell me about Chad.  Where did you meet?”

Cassie looked at him, “You really want to know?”

“Of course, unless you don't want to tell me.”

“No, he's a lawyer.  The law office represented a client of ours and when we were finalizing the deals we met.  It was two years ago and we have been seeing each other ever since.”

“Is it serious?”

“I suppose it is.”  She replied quietly as she glanced away from him.  When their eyes connected she smiled, “It's a different relationship than what we had.”

“That's a good thing, because ours didn't last and I just want you happy. 

“Well, mission accomplished.  I'm happy, so you don't have fret about that.”  He sensed agitation that was growing each word she spoke. “So, your turn.  Tell me about Rebecca...it must be serious if you're going to marry her.”

In light of what had happened he didn't think it was the best time to discuss his relationship status, but he had to tell her something.  “As I said before, she's a teacher.  We met when her family wanted to have a reunion at the Bed and Breakfast.  I wasn't looking to find someone, but it just happened.”

“Sometimes that's when things work out the best, when it's unexpected.  I can't wait to meet her.  Maybe when I come to Dallas next week.  She could help with the preparations too.”

“Right,” he replied enthusiastically.  He didn't even think about what would happen if they were to meet one another.  “I'm sure you will both get along great.”  They continued to eat as they shared memories of the days they were in high school.  Seth forgot how nice it was to hear her laugh.  “What?”  She asked as she covered her mouth, stifling a giggle.

“It's nice to hear you laugh.”

“You've heard me laugh lots of times Seth.”

“Not recently,” he pointed out.

“You're right.  We'll have to change that.”  She smiled and he was taken aback by her grin.  After getting past the initial awkwardness, the night began to shape up nicely.

He put down his napkin and got up from his chair.  “Dance with me!”  It wasn't a question, but a statement.  He didn't want to give her the option to say no.

  “I don't know it's been awhile.”  She replied quietly as she took a long drink of water.  “I don't want to step on your toes.”

“I'm tough, I can handle it.”  He replied with a chuckle.  “Dance with me.” He spoke once again as she nodded and slowly stood up.  As he took her hand into his, he could feel her sweaty palms.  He thought it was cute, how nervous she could be when they used to be so easy with each other.  He pulled her close, trying to assure her that there was no reason to be worried.

“Awhile since you danced or since we danced together?”

“Both.”  She replied with a smile as they both swayed to the faint music that was playing.  He didn't want to hold her too close, it would scare her away.  Especially, since he was supposed to be happily engaged. 

“That's okay, we'll take it slow.”  His hand rested on her waist as they glided to the music, he almost forgot that they were no longer together.

____________________

Cassie looked into Seth's eyes, she was painfully aware that their bodies were only inches apart.  In that moment she forgot that she was supposed to be with Chad and Seth was going to marry another woman.  Her arms snaked around his neck as Seth's hands were gently touching her waist.  “You surely can't tell it's been awhile.”  Seth replied quietly, his warm breath was beating up against her skin.

“I guess you never really forget when the music's playing.”

“Cassie, there's something that I do have to tell you.”  His voice was shaky and their bodies were still pressed together, but the look in his eyes was focused on hers.  “Rebecca...I...we...”

“I heard you were here and I had to come to see for myself.”

Cassie turned away from Seth and opened her mouth in shock when she saw who was there.  “Billy?”  She looked at Seth and then quickly stepped away from him, her hand was placed on his chest and she could feel his heart beating rapidly.  She swallowed hard and then turned back to the man that had just entered the room.  She walked over and hugged him.  “Seth said you are always here.  You better not work yourself too hard, you're not getting any younger,” she teased.

“Are you calling me old?”

Cassie giggled, “What was I thinking?  What are you...70, 71?”

He laughed, “75, but who's counting?”

Cassie smiled, “You don't look a day over 35.”

“You flatterer you,” he laughed.  He turned and looked at Seth and then back to Cassie.  “I didn't know you guys were...”

Cassie put up her hand to stop him.  She turned to Seth and smiled.  “We're just friends.  Seth is getting married.”

Billy's eyes shone, “Well, I guess congratulations is in store for you Seth.”

Seth walked over and shook the man's hand.  “Thank you Billy.  I have to say, I'm a little hurt that I've never seen you here when it was just me.”

He laughed, “What can I say?  I've always had a soft spot for Cassie.”

Cassie smiled, “Likewise Billy.”

“So, what brings you two out tonight?”

“Catching up on each other’s lives.  It's been awhile.”  Cassie replied as she turned to Seth.  She still couldn't get past her feelings she felt when they danced and she had a feeling Seth was feeling the same thing.  “You really do look great Billy.”

“Thank you my dear, so do you.”

She smiled, “Thank you.”

“I have to get back to the kitchen, but it was great seeing you both.  I'll tell the cashier that the bill's on me.”

“Billy, you don't have to...”

“Billy, don't do that.  I've got it.”  Seth broke into Cassie's sentence.

“Are you sure?  You don't have to.  It was great seeing my two favorite high school students back in my restaurant.”  Billy tried to argue, but Seth obviously wasn't listening.

“
Its fine, but thanks for the offer.”

Billy nodded, “I hope to see you guys around.”

“See you later Billy, thanks for coming in to say hello.”

“You both take care.” 

He left the room and Cassie turned to look at Seth.  “What do you mean, you have it?  You're not paying my tab.”

“Uh...yes I am.”  He picked up the bill from the table and Cassie snatched it from him.  “Give that back, why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“You can't pay my bill.”

“Why?” 

“For starters...how would you explain that to Rebecca?”

“Are you kidding me?  Don't worry about it.”

“I don't want her to question you, so I will pay for my own.”

He
grabbed the bill from her hand; Cassie raised her eyebrows.  “Cassie, I got it.  I'm not worried about what Rebecca could say to me, so you shouldn't either.”

“I don't know.”

“Cassie it's fine; I invited you...it's my treat.  Rebecca won't care.”

“Okay fine...thank you.”  She paused for a moment and remembered the dance.  “Speaking of Rebecca, you were about to say something.”

“Actually, no big deal.  We'll talk later.”

“Sure?”

He nodded, “Definitely.  Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, we can finish our dance some other time.”  She smiled at him, trying to get back to
their easiness.

“Of course.”  They walked to the cashier and she waited for Seth to pay the bill, when they left she let Seth get the door for her.  She didn't want to ruin the night they had shared.  They didn't talk as he drove her back to her parent's house.  She just watched the people and buildings pass them by as they made their way down the quiet streets.  When he turned on her street, she suddenly felt a little sad that the evening was about to be over.  When he stopped the car, she turned to him.  She was surprised when he got out of the car and opened the door for her. 

“I had a great time tonight Seth, thanks for the meal and the invitation.”

“I'll walk you up to the door.”  He smiled as they fell into step with each other and walked up to the front door. 

When she reached the porch, she looked at him.  “I'll see you later,” she leaned up and brushed a kiss across his cheek.  She allowed the kiss to linger for a second longer than she should have. 

When she reached to open the door, he reached out and grabbed her arm.  She turned around and cocked her head.  “I had a great time tonight too.  I just wanted to make sure I told you that.”

“Thanks,” she whispered as she reached for the door and entered the house.

When the door closed she looked out the window and watched Seth get into his car and drive away.  “What are you doing?”

She jumped when she heard Courtney's voice.  She turned to her and saw that her coat was on.  “Going somewhere?”

Courtney shook her head and pulled her coat off.  “Bradley just brought me
home; we went out for a walk.  So, how was dinner?”  Cassie opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it.  “Cassie?”

Cassie shook her head, “It was a mistake.”  She slowly replied as she headed to the stairs.

Courtney grabbed Cassie's arm before she could leave.  “Cassie what's wrong?”

“How could I be so stupid?  It should have never happened.”

“Cassie, you're not making sense.  What shouldn't have happened?”

“I should have never gone out with him.  I don't know who I was trying to kid.”  She pulled her arm away and ran up the stairs.  As she slammed the door behind herself she threw herself on the bed.  It was a big mistake, a mistake she didn't see how she would ever get over.

“Cassie, let me in.”  She heard the knock on her door, but she didn't respond.  She couldn't see Courtney while her tears were streaming down her face, which was the last thing she could face at that moment.  “I'm not leaving until you open this door.”  Cassie was relieved that her parents and Christopher were out of the house.  The last thing she would want was for the third degree from everyone. 

“Courtney, please go away.”  Cassie moaned as she covered her face.

“Cassie, I need to talk to you.  I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.  Just please, talk to me.”

Cassie stared at her
door; she didn't know how she could face Courtney when she was a mess.  “Just a minute.”  She looked at her reflection in the mirror and flinched.  Her makeup was a mess and her hair had fallen out of the once secured ponytail.  She rolled her eyes and headed to the door, it wasn't the first time Courtney saw her falling to pieces.  When Cassie opened the door, she saw the sympathy look on her face and she held up her hand.  “Don't do it...don't go feeling sorry for me.  I knew what tonight was all about, I just...wasn't totally prepared.”

“Oh Cassie;
I am so sorry.”

“Courtney, I told you not to feel sorry for me.  If you're going to have that sympathy look...you might as well just leave.”

“Okay, I promise...I won't feel sorry for you.  What happened?”

“Well for starters...we both admitted that it was a blessing I left Avery.”

“What?”  Courtney asked as she fell to her bed.

“Seth told me that it obviously wouldn't have worked between us if I would have stayed.”

“Why would he say that?  What did you say?”  Courtney asked giving her an inquisitive look.

“Nothing...we were just talking about our relationships and he said that if I would have stayed we would have never worked out.”

“I don't get it; Seth isn't the type of person to deliberately hurt someone's feelings so something else was obviously said before that.”

Cassie looked away, “He said that since we both found happiness then things wouldn't have worked out between us, because we were able to move on once I left.  I don't know
Court; the point is he is saying that we were a mistake.”

“So, what did you say?” 
Courtney asked; arms across her chest.

“I suppose I said that I was happy that I left because I wouldn't have had the opportunities in Texas.”

“Before or after Seth said that it was a good thing you left?”

“I don't know...what does it matter?”

“Cassie, he probably only said those things because he didn't want you to feel bad.  He wasn't trying to hurt you; he thought that that was what you wanted.  Everything you said, was it truthful?  Are you glad you left?”

“It isn't that simple...I have a wonderful job and I probably wouldn't have a successful career if I would have stayed.”

“Probably is the operative word.  You didn't give Texas the proper chance.  You can't lie to me Cassie and I know that you were happy with Seth and I think that if Chad wasn't in the picture you wouldn't go back.”

“What?  That's crazy.  Chad isn't the only problem.  Rebecca and Seth are getting married and that's more important than anything Chad and I have going on.”

“How was the rest of your evening?”  Cassie gave her a confused look.

“It was great, we ate, danced, and I thought we could have kissed.  It was like no time has passed between us.”

“You need to tell him how you felt.”

“That's crazy...what would that get me?  An angry guy with an even angrier
fiancée.  No thank you.  I'm happy to just sit back and think of him as a memory.”

“Oh Cass, come on.  You can't be serious.  You would be okay seeing him at the altar, knowing that you didn't speak your mind?”

“If it meant we could remain friends, sure.”

“I'm not buying it, you aren't the type of person to give up and you are standing back and
letting some other woman take over.”

“Courtney...it's not like it's only been a couple of months.  It has been ten years, surely I no longer have claim.  Especially when I was the one to walk away.”

Courtney stood up and turned away.  When she reached the door, she stopped.  “If you don't say something it may truly be late, but you need to let him know.  He has a right to know that you are still in love with him.”

“I didn't say that,” Cassie argued.

“You didn't have to.  It's clear to me that you are far from being over him, now all that's left is to tell him that.”

Courtney closed the door behind her and Cassie just stared.  Nothing good could come out of telling Seth the truth, yet maybe it would be a relief to get it off her chest.  She just needed to figure out if she was willing to lose him forever.

____________________

Seth had been driving aimlessly for an hour, before he realized he didn't know what he was doing.  After going out with Cassie he really didn't want to face his parents.  They would definitely want to question him and he wasn't ready to face an interrogation.  After all, he wasn't even sure what he could tell them.  He looked at the clock, it was going on 1:00 and yet he had to talk to someone.  Without giving it a second thought he drove to Thomas and Scarlett's house.  It probably wasn't the smartest idea because the kids would be asleep and Scarlett was Cassie's best friend, but Thomas was his and he really needed some friendly advice. 

As he shut off his car and walked up the sidewalk, he instantly had second thoughts.  It was the middle of the night and he was crazy to think that waking them up would be the best idea.  He could talk to Thomas the next day.  He headed back to his car and as he reached the driveway, the porch light turned on.  He turned around to see Thomas in his pajamas and housecoat, opened the door.  “Seth, is that you?”

Seth headed up to the door and tried to smile.  “I'm sorry for waking you.  I can come back tomorrow.”

“Don't be silly.  I heard the car engine and I was just coming down to the kitchen for a snack.  Is everything alright?”

“Really, I can come back tomorrow.  I don't want to wake the kids.”

“Seth, enough with the excuses.  Scarlett and I are the only ones here.  The kids are at Scarlett's parent's house.  Just come in.”

Seth agreed and made his way into the living room.  “I don't want to wake up Scarlett.”

“Scarlett is a very sound sleeper, we're fine.  So, what's on your mind?”

“I went out with Cassie tonight,” the words came out rushed and he felt a relief once he spoke them.

Thomas laughed, “Okay, you came out here...in the middle of the night, to tell me that?  Seth you're my best friend, but couldn't it have waited till morning?”

“That's not the reason I'm here.  Yes, I went out with Cassie, but it was just as friends and nothing happened.”  He knew that wasn't entirely true.  They danced and he could feel every move of her body against him.  When she kissed his cheek, she might as well have given him a passionate kiss...it wouldn't have felt any different.

“So, I am assuming nothing happened because she didn't want it to?  It clearly wasn't because you didn't want it, because obviously you did.”

“You don't know what I want?”

Thomas laughed, “I have known you for 25 years and that is not true.  Not a day has gone by that you haven't thought about her.  Tell me I'm wrong.”  When Seth didn't say something to deny the accusations, Thomas continued.  “There is nothing wrong with loving someone forever.  In marriage, it works quite nicely.”

“You don't understand.  Cassie doesn't...I mean, I haven't...she doesn't know.”

“She doesn't know you and Rebecca broke off the engagement?”

Seth shook his head, “As far as she is concerned we are still getting married.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“Honey, are you still down here?”

Thomas looked over to the stairs as Scarlett reached the bottom.  “We're right here Scarlett.”

“Seth, I didn't know you were here.  When Thomas didn't come back from the kitchen...I thought he got lost.”

Seth smiled, “I'm sorry Scarlett.  I needed to talk to Thomas.”

“Well, don't let me interrupt...would you like a cup of coffee?”

“I don't want to be a bother.”  Seth argued, but Scarlett brushed his worries away and headed to the kitchen.

“You are one lucky man Thomas.  You have a beautiful wife, 4 kids and 1 on the way, your life is planned for you.  I, on the other hand, have no idea what is in store for me.”

“That's not true.  You know, in your heart, what you want to happen.  You want Cassie to be your wife and that has been the truth ever since you were 13 and she was 12 and you saw her riding her bike at the park.  I've heard the story several times now.  So, I know that you still care.  You were going to tell me why you didn't tell her the truth.”

“She is seeing someone and according to her...it's serious.  Why would I tell her something that isn't going to change the outcome?” 

“Maybe because you love her and she has a right to know.  How did you feel when you saw her?”

“How do you think?”

“I think you realized how much you have missed her and it's killing you not to tell her.  Yet, you're here talking to me and it's Cassie you need to be spilling your guts to.”

“I don't think I can do that.”

“Why?  Do you think it will make it more real if you tell her your feelings?  Wouldn't you rather find out than not know?”

“I know that if she tells me it's too late and Chad has her heart, it will kill me.”

“It looks to me like you're already dying, so does it really matter?”

Seth laughed, “I guess I didn't think of it that way.  It's just I don't want to hurt her anymore and telling her that I still love her, when clearly she has moved on...it might do more harm than good.”

“What did Cassie tell you about Chad?”  Seth looked over at Scarlett who had appeared back in the living room.

She handed a mug to Seth and one to Thomas.  “Nothing much, but I could tell that she is happy with her relationship.”

“Did she tell you this while you were talking about Rebecca?”

Seth shrugged, “I guess so, why?”

“Take my husband's advice; you need to talk to her.”

“Do you really think so?  What if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings?”

“Then, you're no worse off.  You should have told her that Rebecca and you broke up, it might have made a difference.”

Seth shook his
head; he really didn't think it would.  “I don't know.  I hear what you guys are saying, but it's been so long ago.”

“Yet, you're still as crazy for her as you've ever been.”  Thomas replied with a chuckle, “What's the problem?”

“Maybe I'm worried about getting hurt again.  It took me a long time to get over her leaving, what happens if we try to make it work and it doesn't?”

“Seth, Cassie is going to kill me for telling you, but I can't stand seeing you put yourself through this.”

“What?”

“Cassie isn't exactly with Chad now.”

Seth nearly dropped the mug, “What?”

“I can't explain, but something happened between them and it's up to Cassie to tell you about it.  It's just that rest assured all isn't well in her relationship.”

Seth wanted to believe Scarlett and he knew she wouldn't lie to him, but it was hard to believe that Cassie didn't say something.  “I don't get it; she didn't tell me anything about that.”

Scarlett stared at him, “Are you serious?  You're really going to say that you don't believe it because she didn't tell you?  Seth, you did the same thing.  You didn't tell Cassie the truth, so really you are both in the same boat.  Talk to her, don't let her go back to New York without knowing the truth.”

Seth couldn't wrap his finger around the news.  Maybe things weren't as they seemed.  He handed the half empty cup back to Scarlett.  “Thanks Scarlett, for everything.  I will talk to her.”  He kissed her cheek and then turned to Thomas.  “Thanks buddy for listening to me rant.”

Thomas laughed, “It's my pleasure.  Let me know how it turns out.”

“You both will be the first to know.  I better go, but thanks again.”  He waved as he hurried out of the house, in a better mood than before beginning the conversation.  He would somehow find a way to talk to Cassie and tell her the truth.  He just needed to figure out how to bring it up.