I asked. She looked away
and I could read fear all over face. “I haven’t been feeling to
well Grant.” I could see that but what was the issue was what I
wanted to know. “You could have called in and told me that, I was
worrying out of mind…what were you…” I saw the look of annoyance on
her face and I eased off. I figured well let’s just get down to
business. I took a deep breath and stood directly in front of her.
“Look there is some things I need to say.” “Grant...” She
interrupted,” staring me boldly in the eye. “I’m pregnant.” Right
there in that moment my whole world shattered, it was like I got
swallowed in a black hole and had no chance of getting out. My mind
went numb and my heart sank to the floor. “Wh….What?” I asked
hoping I didn’t hear her right. Alexia hung her head down as if she
were ashamed or had disappointed me in some way.
I couldn’t speak I
couldn’t breathe. I paced the floors trying to formulate words. “Is
it…Is it mine?” Alexia looked up at me as if she were in disbelief
that I would question her. “What?” I looked at her
accusingly;
you are damn right I’m going
to question you. Did she honestly think I wouldn’t,
I thought.
Did she
honestly think that she could tell me she was pregnant and I just
nod my head and say ok? Hell no, this bitch must be crazy.
I shook my head. “No…No, it can’t be mine….I mean
you’re sleeping around with me and I’m married. God knows who else
you have been with ….No I’m not dealing with this. I’m not dealing
with you. Fuck that.” Alexia chuckled at my outburst. “Is degrading
me making you feel better about the situation?” I turned away from
her. I couldn’t do this I couldn’t deal with this; I picked up the
nearest object and slammed into the wall, then picked something
else up and did it again. Alexia jumped back in fear not knowing
what to expect from my sudden rage. I slid down against the wall
wondering what the hell I was going to do.
The drive home was quiet
and slow; I couldn’t help but think about all the dirt I had done
the past few months the fights, the infidelity, the…pregnancy.
Never once did I think about stopping what I was doing, nor did I
think about telling the truth. All my actions were a result of me
trying to save my own ass. And now I was in a world of trouble. I
brought up the option of abortion to Alexia; she slapped me across
my face. “Just because you don’t want anything to do with this baby
doesn’t mean I don’t…I am not forcing you to be here…If you don’t
want to be a part of this than don’t be.” Her words still replayed
in my mind I knew in my heart I couldn’t deny my own child, the
fact that I even brought up abortion made me sick to my
stomach.
There was no escaping
telling Lucy the truth now, not when a child was about to be born
due to my infidelity. As I pulled up into the drive way I reassured
myself.
You have to tell her…You have no
choice.
I made my way into the house and
saw little Greg singing along with his favorite TV show. “Hi dad.”
“What’s up kid?” I kissed his cheek and patted his head. He
continued to go on singing like he was in his own little world. I
went into the kitchen and saw Lucy working on her secret sauce for
the lasagna, I smiled she hadn’t made that in a while. After the
night she almost left me things between us had been tense but we
had both agreed to leave old baggage in the past and start off from
scratch. I wondered would she still feel that way after I told her
this devastating news…I highly doubted. I snuck up behind her and
grabbed her waist she was startled at first until she realized it
was me. “Hey there...” She turned around and gave me a kiss. “Nice
to have you home.” “Nice to be home.” I eased off my suit jacket
and laid it on the kitchen table. “Baby I got something to tell
you.”
I swallowed hard and
prepared myself for the conversation. She turned to me and nodded.
“Me first …” Lucy grabbed my hand sat me down in the kitchen chair
and sat on my lap. “I have been thinking….” She said while kissing
my cheek. “About taking some time off…and I did.” I looked at her
to see what she meant; most certainly she couldn’t have meant time
off from work. “You did what?” I asked. She was smiling so widely.
“Well since I gave up the annual ball and passed it off to Megan...
I thought why not spend some much needed time with my family. So I
took an extended vacation.” My jaw hit the floor. “But honey,
you’re the chief editor don’t they like need you there?” Lucy
kissed me again more passionately this time. “I have come to
realize that there are more important things that I need to be
concerned with.”
She shifted in my lap so I
could feel more of her body pressed against mine and it sent
shockwaves down my pants. “Like you...” I leaned for another kiss,
I wanted to swallow her tongue; we started moaning and Lucy grabbed
the back of my head while I grabbed other things. “Ewwwww. Kissing
…Nasty.” Little Greg came in the kitchen spotted his mom and me
grouping each other and quickly ran back out. We both had a good
laugh at that. “Let’s hope he still feels that way when he is
thirteen.” Lucy got up off my lap to check on the lasagna. “I
almost forgot babe what did you want to tell me?” With all the
laughter going on I lost sight of Alexia, the baby, and everything
else. I decided this wasn’t time to be the bearer of bad news, not
when my wife and I were starting to reconnect. “Nothing important.”
I lied. “Just that…I love you.” I got up and walked over to her
planting another kiss on those pretty lips of hers. “Awwww…I love
you too.” Lucy looked up at me and smiled. I tried to enjoy this
close night with my family because I had a feared this feeling
wouldn’t last long.
Chapter
13
Unexpected news
Grant/ 2000
“
Babe I was in the middle
of class what are you doing here?” I dragged Lucy to the nearest
private area, a park near her school water fountain. I had just
received the most important news of my life and I had to tell her.
I drove all the way to UCF in my welder’s clothes, spotted her
heading to English class and pulled her to the side. “Baby I got to
tell you something.” I said to her. She looked into my eyes trying
to place my emotion but she couldn’t because it wasn’t something
she had ever seen before. “Tell me what what’s wrong?” She asked
worried. I tried to gather my words together, but she was looking
so beautiful today in a dark green vest jacket and black jeans. Her
curly hair was down and blowing in the wind. I grabbed her face and
planted my lips on hers.
It had been a while since I
had tasted the sweetness of her mouth and now I wanted to enjoy
every second of it. We were getting so into it I failed to realize
that we were in public. “Whoa baby there are teachers walking
around…” Lucy said finally breaking away from me. I nodded. “Sorry.
But it’s been a minute since I have seen you.” She smiled and fixed
her lip gloss. “So what do you want to tell me?” I recollected
myself and swallowed hard. “Well since I finished the welders
program I have been getting a few jobs around town here and there.”
Lucy nodded. “Yes…Yes. I know.” “Well one of the supervisors back
in the city got me a job with a really big time company…Baby I’m
going to be getting paid now! Can you believe it?” She leaped into
my arms. “Oh baby, I’m so happy for you… this is great.” I swung
her around and once again took in her luscious mouth. “This is so
great, let’s celebrate, and let’s go out, we can go to dinner, or
Alayah is home for the weekend. You can stay up here.” She grabbed
my hand and trying to lead me to the dorms but I stopped her. “Babe
I didn’t finish….the job is not in Lake City. It is in New York.”
The smile slowly disappeared off Lucy’s pretty face and she let my
hand go. “New York? You have to go all the way to New York?” I
grabbed her face trying to calm her down. “Baby it’s a great job
offering a lot of money. I would be a fool if I didn’t take
it.”
She pushed me off. “So
that’s it? You’re just going to leave? What about me? What about
us?” I could see she was starting to cause a scene and I prepared
myself for the worst. “Baby you will be done with school in a year
or two? You can just come up there soon after.” She scowled at me
and folded her arms across her chest. “So you expect me to wait in
the wind for you for a year? While you go out and probably hook up
with every chicken head you can possible find? I can’t believe you
are doing this to me. I knew you were going to hurt me.” I saw the
tears filling her eyes and my heart broke seeing her like that. “Oh
my God…I hate you. You bastard, I hate you.” She screamed at me,
tears ran down her face while she threw punches at my chest. I
grabbed her arms and wrapped myself around her. “Stop…Stop it.” I
said trying to contain her. I turned her around to face me once she
had become manageable.
“
Come with me baby.” She
looked up at me through sobbing eyes. “What?” “Come with me to New
York. I’ll be making good money at the job; I can take care of us…
It shouldn’t be that hard for you to transfer over to NYU.” I
stared into her face looking as sincere as possible. “Come with
me.” Lucy sniffed back tears and smiled. “You really want me to
come?” I nodded and brought her into my arms. She reached up and
kissed me letting our tongues mingle all over again. We didn’t let
up on tasting, touching, and grouping each other. We celebrating a
new start together and we did not giving a damn who saw
us.
Grant
“
You’re about eight weeks
along,”Dr. Cramer was examining Alexia during the first checkup;
She was an elder Jewish woman who had been working with pregnancies
for a very long time. I convinced myself to step up as a man and be
there for the woman who was carrying my unborn child. After much
pleading Alexia decided to let me accompany her to the baby’s
doctor’s appointment. Of course I still had not told Lucy anything
about the affair or about the baby. Things had been going so good
between us, better than they had been in years; there was no way I
was going to mess this up…not now. We were watching the sonogram on
the machine while the doctor was explaining everything in great
detail.
“
You can see the little
curve right there….that’s the baby’s head.” She pointed to the spot
on the screen which showed my child forming in Alexia’s womb.
Alexia laid back and watched in amazement at the child growing in
her belly, and although I tried not to show it, it warmed my heart
to see the baby too. I had asked Lucy about us having more children
even though I had to beg for Greg to be brought into this world. I
would have hoped after her seeing our baby boy she would want to
expand our family, but in those days her career was deemed more
important. So no I couldn’t hide the enjoyment I got from knowing I
had another child on the way…even if it was with the wrong woman.
After the doctor finished giving us the lowdown on everything we
needed to do, we quickly gathered our things and prepared to leave.
But before we made our exit I had something I had to do. “Um
doctor….Do you mind if I speak to you for a second?” Dr. Cramer
removed her gloves that she was wearing. She seemed a little
alarmed by my need to speak with her, being that she explained
everything a minute ago.
Nevertheless she motioned
for me to come into her office. I looked for Alexia, she was busy
talking to the nurses then quickly followed Doctor Cramer into her
office to have a much need conversation. “Have a seat sir.” She
said getting comfortable behind her desk. “What can I do for you?”
I quickly took a seat in the chair across from her and began to
plead my case. “Doctor, I was wondering was it a possibility that
we could do an early paternity test on the baby.” The look on
Doctor Cramer’s face seemed to be taken back. She looked at me
puzzled and gulped. “I’m sorry Mr. Smith, it’s a little too early
in the pregnancy to be seeking paternity.” I leaned in a little
closer to the doctor to let her know how seriously I needed this.
“Doc, I know that the fluid around the baby can contain stem cells
from both parents. I was thinking maybe possibly…” Doctor Cramer
shook her head. “Mr. Smith I…” “Please.” I begged her. “Please.”
She took a deep breath as if she had finally given in. She must
have seen the desperation in my eyes. Doctor Cramer leaned back
into her chair and rested her troubled grey head. “Alright…Alright
I’ll see what I can do….But I’m not making any promises…In the
baby’s state right now we wouldn’t want to do anything that might
harm it. And we would also need the mothers permission as
well.”
I breathed a sigh of relief
and reached for the doctors hands, “Thank you….thank you. I’m sure
that wouldn’t be a problem.” She nodded and waved me off so she
could get to work. I met up with Alexia afterward, she looked at me
puzzled. “What were you doing in there?” I looked at her face; she
looked beautiful today in a light yellow dress it really brought
out her beautiful skin. “I just wanted to know if there was
anything else I could do for you or the baby.” “Well from our
conversation last week it sounded like you wanted us to disappear.”
I sighed at her anger, even though she had every right to be
offended. “C’mon Alexia you know the situation.” Her pretty face
turned angry. “And do you think killing our baby is going to make
your marriage better than it has been in the past year?” I couldn’t
deal with her venom right now, besides her and the baby I had
enough on my plate. I decided instead of arguing, the best thing
for the three of us was for me to be the bigger person and soothe
situation. “I placed my hands on her shoulders; I could tell she
wasn’t expecting that due to the look on her face.