Sarah put her hand on her stomach and made a face. “Stuffed.”
“Really?” Valerie asked. “We haven’t even had desert yet.”
“Stay and finish,” Alex said. “I’ll keep you company. This guy just can’t wait to get Sarah away from me.”
Angel smiled and pulled Alex by the back of his shirt. “Let her out.”
“Are you okay with me going?” Sarah asked Valerie.
“Not really,” Alex said, getting up “But if he’s gonna be an ass about-- Oh, you were talking to Valerie."
Sarah laughed and Angel shoved him, barely moving him.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Valerie said. “I’ll see you at home later.”
CHAPTER 11
Sarah and Angel headed to the beach. Not the cliffs where they usually went. Sarah wanted to walk on the beach.
It wasn’t too crowded for a Saturday. They walked for quite a while and were already on their way back to the car, when Angel brought up his Spanish class woes.
“You don’t know Spanish?” She was completely surprised.
“Well, I thought I was okay at it,” he said “But according to the scores I’ve been getting on my quizzes, I suck.”
Sarah couldn’t help laughing despite the agitation she was feeling about the impending conversation. “I can help you.”
Angel turned to her curiously. “You know Spanish?”
“Claro que si”
Of course
.
Angel smiled at her impressed. “Good, because I have a quiz Tuesday, and progress reports go out on Wednesday. If I don’t get higher than a D on my quiz I’m sitting out the game on Friday.”
Sarah smiled. “I’ll be your private tutor.”
They got to the car and Angel leaned on it, pulling her against him. “Mmm, sounds good.”
Sarah knew she needed to ask him now or she’d have to wait until tomorrow and she wanted it over with. She took a deep breath “Speaking of your game, Angel. Can I ask you something?”
Angel’s hands moved all over her back. “Of course.”
“Why would Dana be wearing your jersey at the game?” She thought she saw a flicker of panic in his eyes for a second and then it was gone. He exhaled, glancing away then back at her.
“I don’t know, Sarah,” he said. “I’ve hung out with her in the past, but she’s always made more out of it then it really was.”
Sarah felt something inside her ignite. “Was she your girlfriend?” She was trying so hard not to sound jealous. But she was,
completely
. She’d heard all the stories from Valerie about him and Dana, but hearing it from him set her on fire.
“No,” he snapped. “I told you, I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“Have you slept with her?”
What the hell
? She hadn’t intended on going there but the words just flew out and they kept coming.
She saw his eyes widen for a second then go back to normal. He rubbed her back gently. “Does it really matter, Sarah?”
Her heart jumped to her throat. She wanted to scream. What had she expected? Why had she let herself fall for him? This was just one girl. How many other girls was she gonna have to deal with?
“So, she was never your girlfriend, you just slept with her? Is that what you’re planning on doing with me?
His eyes narrowed and his expression hardened. “Sarah, as far as I’m concerned you are my girlfriend. Only reason I hadn’t said it’s ‘cause I wasn’t sure you took our agreement that way.”
Sarah wouldn't listen. All she could think of was the fact that he’d slept with Dana and it made her sick. “Were you
exclusive
with her?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
“No, I wasn’t.”
The lump in her throat was beginning to suffocate her.
Don’t you dare cry
. She tried pulling away from him but he tightened his grip around her.
“So, why does she have your jersey, Angel?” She gulped hard. The words just kept coming and they wouldn’t stop. “Did you give it to her after you slept with her? How many other girls have your jersey?”
“No one else does.” His voice was too calm. “She borrowed it last year and never gave it back.”
He tried giving her a peck but she turned away. “What do you wanna hear, Sarah?”
That made her even madder. Was he gonna humor her now? She squirmed trying to get away from him but her struggle was futile. She was no match for his strong arms.
She stopped and looked him in square in the eye.
“I want the truth about you and Dana.”
“There was no me and her,” he insisted. “Even if there had been something why would I lie?”
“Because maybe you still have feelings for her?”
“What?” His laughter irritated her. “No babe, the only feelings I have are for you, and they’re big time. She’s got absolutely nothing on you.”
Sarah stared at him, desperately wanting to believe him. But if she hurt this much now only a few weeks into this relationship, how would she deal with anything worse? Being around Angel was doing something to her senses. She could hardly believe how wild her emotions had become. It scared her.
*
Shit! shit! shit
! How stupid was he, to think Dana’s behavior hadn’t bothered Sarah? Her deliberate attempts to spite Sarah had been undeniable for weeks. The wounded expression on Sarah’s face said it all.
Sarah shook her head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better, Angel.”
Angel glared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I mean this is who you are. This is what your world has always been like. Who am I to think I can fit in somehow? Things like this are going to keep happening and I don’t think I can handle it. I should’ve never agreed to –"
“Don’t even say it.” He took her hand and put it to his chest. His heart beat so hard he could feel the pulse raging in his throat. “You’re scaring me. I can’t believe you don’t see how crazy I am about you.”
She shook her head. “It’s too hard, Angel. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Please try to put yourself in my place. Would you be able to deal with other guys constantly on me? I don’t know what I was thinking coming into this. I let myself get caught up in all the passion.”
Passion?
Is that all this was to her? And what was that other absurdity she’d spat at him?
Him
, deal with other guys on
her
?
Like hell
. He stared at her hard, all the while squeezing her hand, and spoke through his teeth.
“What exactly is
this
to you?”
She turned away for what seemed much too long, then finally turned back to him. Her eyes glistened but she didn’t cry.
“My feelings for you are what have me so terrified," she said. "If I didn’t care so much I wouldn’t be backing out now before it’s too late.”
He stared at her in disbelief.
Backing out?
He felt the panic sear through his body. He searched her eyes for more but there was nothing.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His heart still hammered away but he was strangely relieved. “Stop saying that, Sarah. You have nothing to be sorry about. This is my fault and I intend on fixing it. But I won’t let you back out now, sweetheart. I can’t. It may not be too late for you but there’s no turning back for me.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then her cheeks and all around her mouth. “Angel," she whispered.
He continued to kiss her mouth, her chin. She said her feelings for him terrified her. So, he wasn’t alone in this. That’s all he needed to work with. He’d set everything straight on Monday.
“Angel."
He didn’t want to talk anymore, just hold her and kiss her.
“Angel.” She pulled away. “How are you gonna fix this? So, you get rid of Dana, what about all the others?”
He struggled to conceal his exasperation. “There are no others, Sarah. Sure I’ve hung out with others, but ironically thanks to Dana not as many as I know you’re thinking. Dana’s been the only thorn in my ass that I haven’t been able to get rid of. Until now I really had no reason to put any effort into it. I let her do and say whatever she pleased. I didn’t care.”
He kissed her, then held her face in his hands. “Trust me, baby, if Dana is gonna cost me being with you, she’s gone. Just like that. I’ll make sure of it.”
A smile slowly lifted the corners of her lips. “Are you gonna have her whacked?”
Angel smiled, relieved at the change in her mood. “I had something a little less violent in mind. But if you want…”
Sarah wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest. “Just take care of it.”
******
The next day was far less emotional. Though thoughts of yesterday’s exchange made things a little tense when he first picked her up, as the hours passed, Sarah seemed a lot better and giving in to her feelings again. They even spent a lustful hour parked in their spot, until she had to leave for work.
The night before she’d fallen asleep before Valerie got home, and this morning between talking to Sydney, and Angel picking her up so early, she hadn’t had a chance to talk to her.
Valerie was just out of the shower, and Sarah was finally going to hear about her date with Alex.
She was about to walk out to look for her when Valerie walked in smiling from ear to ear. Sarah smiled just as big.
“So?”
Valerie did a little dance and closed Sarah’s door. She motioned Sarah toward the bed and sat down next to her.
“I gotta ask you something, Sarah.” She whispered. “Is Angel big? ‘cause Alex is huge. I mean,
huge
.”
Sarah’s jaw dropped. “You slept with him?”
Valerie expression was blank. “Of course not.”
Sarah exhaled, relieved.
“I’m on my period,” Valerie said, “How embarrassing would that be?”
Sarah’s expression made Valerie laugh. “Sarah, how long have I been dreaming of this guy? It’s not like I’m a virgin you know. I slept with Reggie.”
“You did?”
“Sarah, I was with him for like six months. There’s only so much you can do before you just can’t stand it anymore.”
Sarah could feel her face flush thinking about the things she and Angel had already done. Valerie eyed her. “Have you even seen Angel's-”
“Shh!” Mortified, Sarah jumped up, walked to the door, and peeked out.
The lights were all out. She tip toed back as if her footsteps might wake someone. Valerie watched and laughed. “What are you doing?”
Sarah held her finger to her mouth again. She sat down on her bed across from Valerie and leaned over. “Yes, I’ve seen it, and yes, it’s big. But since everything about Alex is bigger, I’m not surprised he’s huge.”
“I haven’t seen that many.” Varlerie made a face. “But his puts the few I have to shame. I’m almost afraid it’s gonna hurt.”
Sarah stared at her, still unable to believe what she was hearing. “You’re really gonna do it?”
“Of course,” Valerie said. “Think about it, Sarah. I’m not dumb. I know it’s just a matter of a couple of dates before he moves on to the next girl, and I’m okay with that. But I’ve been lusting over this guy for years. If I blow what may be my only chance to know what it’s like to be with him, do you know how much I’m gonna regret it looking back years from now?”
Sarah stared at her. She still couldn’t get over how different her and Valerie thought. “Aren’t you afraid of getting pregnant?”
“Nope, I got on the pill when I started going with Reggie.” she said. “And I never got off. I figured better safe than sorry.”
Sarah didn't blink for a few seconds. The curiosity about what Valerie had actually done with Alex was killing her. But the fear of Valerie asking her about her and Angel’s intimacy kept her from asking. As it turned out she didn’t have to. Valerie made herself comfortable on Sarah’s bed and began telling her. “He is absolutely the best kisser ever.”