When he turns back around his face breaks my heart, as sadness radiates from it. It also pours out of his mouth as he says, “It’s not only about that, it’s everything you hold dear and it’s time you knew the truth. Get dressed Peppa, there’s someone I want you to meet.”
My first thought is he has another woman, but he shot that down by firmly saying, “How many times do I have to say it? There is no one else but you and Noah.” He runs a hand through his hair, “I need you to know everything I have done, is to protect you and Noah. I love you both so much, it hurts to look at you sometimes because I can’t believe you’re mine. I know you are scared, I am too. The emotions that I feel are slowly killing me and I can’t deal with them anymore.”
He lowers his head and walks away from me and out of the room. I feel his pain and it makes me sob out for him. I’m so scared, everything closes in around me and my heart feels heavy. I try to move but my limbs won’t work. I use my breathing tactic from when I panic and I slowly begin to take a deep breath in and slowly let it out. I feel myself calm enough to move off the bed and stand on shaky legs. I begin to dress myself, but I can't do the buttons on the top I have put on. I didn’t even know Juan had come back into the room until his hands start doing the buttons up for me.
I take a peek at his beautiful face and see the tears streaming freely and I collapse into his arms. I close my eyes and hold on to him tight, sending him thoughts of, ‘I love you.’
The sudden rush of air surrounds me and chills me to the bone as I realize he is using his vampire speed to get our purpose. We stop outside the front door of a house I have never seen before, and it’s not very welcoming, or I’m just too frightened to know what lies behind it.
I peer over at Juan and his head is lowered, my mouth trembles with sadness and my next words come out in a sob, “This is going to change everything isn’t it?”
He doesn’t look at me but nods his head and says, “Only if you let it. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
My mouth opens but so does the door at the same time and I turn my head to see Saul standing there and a confused look flashes across his face, “Peppa?” His eyes then turn to Juan, “Juan are you sure you want to do this now?”
A female voice comes next, “What’s going on?”
A small petite woman stands at Saul’s side and she looks at me and smiles.
Why does she look familiar to me?
“Oh you must be Peppa I have heard so much about you…”
Juan cuts her off and says, “It’s time. She needs to know the truth. Can we come in please?”
They both use their arms to motion for us to come in and stand back. I gingerly take a step forward. My eyes roam the room, nothing looks unusual and then my name is quietly said and my head quickly snaps to the voice, as my brain registers who it is. I blink a few times to make sure the figure, who is standing a few feet away from me, is real. Everything happens in slow motion as adrenaline flows through my body making my heart beat faster, I struggle to take a breath as the air is knocked out of me. Noah's name leaves my lips and my legs buckle underneath me and the words, “You lied to me,” make their way out of my mouth. Before I hit the floor, the arms of the man who has been missing from my life enclose around me and bring me in tight to his firm body. I bury my head in his chest, then the most intense pain I have ever felt takes hold and I cry out.
Chapter 13 (JUAN)
Why did I have to fall in love with the most stubborn woman in the world? I know me being a vampire and Peppa being a human means our lives revolve around the sun and I can’t be there most of the time. But come on, what are mobile phones for? I let Peppa know I’m not happy. And what is it with the bloody wet dog smell? It’s overpowering and attacking my senses putting me on edge. I put two and two together when Peppa tells me about Hans and come up with a fucking wolf. Can my life get any more complicated? And yes, there it is, Peppa goes on to tell me Jacob is back and I explode with anger causing my fangs to drop.
“Will you please stop trying to cope with everything on your own Peppa? What if I walked in here tonight and found you dead because I didn’t know anything about Hans and Jacob. Phone me, leave me a message, you need to let me know about matters like that.”
Peppa gives me the beady eye and I can feel her irritation with me start to soar, “I can’t run to you every time something happens to me Juan. I handled the break in last night, I stood up to Jacob and I welcomed Hans into the fold. I don’t need you to fight my battles.”
I suddenly stop pacing and glare at her a little, outraged at her words, “That’s the problem Peppa, you don’t run to me for anything and I don’t want to fight your battles, I want to stand by your side and support you.”
We go back and forth like this for a while, nothing really coming from it and I shut up. That’s when I finally get the answer to all of this, she feels like she doesn’t come first and her life means nothing to me.
After she storms off I angrily haul myself back down on the sofa.
Bloody women can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
And that’s where the problem lies, I can’t live without her and I hope after tonight’s little tête-à-tête she realizes I want to know what’s going on in her life.
I decide to phone Cruz and Saul to let them know we have a shifter in our midst and that Jacob has graced us with his presence again. I phone Saul first, “Saul, I have news.”
A muffled sound comes across the line and then I hear Jade say, “You shouldn’t struggle so much then it wouldn’t cut into your wrist.”
My eyes widen at that and then I hear my brother giggle.
For fuck sake why do I always manage to phone when a sex act is going on.
“Saul…god damn it. I will phone you back.” I'm about to hang up when his voice comes across the line. “Juan, sorry I was tied up.” He actually laughs.
Yeah not funny brother.
“I don’t need to hear any more thanks Saul, hearing you giggle like a school girl is enough to make me vomit in my mouth.” A sharp "Fuck off" comes back to me.
I chuckle, “Anyway the reason I’m phoning is to let you know that whatever mind control you did on Jacob wasn’t enough, the bastard is back. I’m not sure how long he’s been back but it might explain a few things.”
I hear Saul curse, “Shit Juan, I was in such a hurry that night that I said the quickest get your ass out of town I could. I should have done more, but I needed to get Noah out of there. Do you think he might be behind all the craziness of the past week?”
“We couldn’t think of anyone else and his name was mentioned, but we tossed it to the side as we thought he wasn’t around.”
“Damn, I’m so sorry Juan.”
“You did what you had to do and you saved my Entwined. We will deal with it Saul, so don’t fret. Oh, and I haven’t told you the best part yet, we have a shifter to contend with too.”
I proceeded to tell Saul about Hans and he advised me to have words as wolves are very territorial. After saying goodbye to Saul, I then phoned Cruz and would you believe it, another male answered the phone and groaned in pleasure down the line. I hang up pretty quickly.
I lean my head back and close my eyes. I am getting worried about Cruz, he hasn't been himself lately, but he isn’t ready to admit his problem yet, even though I know it has to do with his Entwined. My thoughts turn back to Peppa and shame starts to creep in, I need to feel her against me, to hold her in my arms. I push myself off the sofa and with heavy steps I make my way to Peppa, all the while hating myself for the way I spoke to her. I crawl into the bed and bring her sleeping, warm body closer to mine and whisper words of sorry to her. I watch her beautiful face in sleep as it contorts into every emotion she feels and Noah’s name leaves her lips and even mine does.
My dick hardens and I’m tempted to wake her up and take her, but still, I feel unworthy of her. That the secrets I hold will only cause her pain and because of them, I have no right to bring her pleasure. Instead of waiting to leave closer to dawn, I decide to leave earlier. I’m half way to the lounge when the doggy smell hits me again and it’s stronger than ever. I hear running water and take a guess that Hans is in the kitchen. I stand at the entrance and watch Hans’ body go rigid when he becomes aware he is not alone.
He slowly turns to face me and I see no hostility in him so I nod my head and say, “Wolf,” in a greeting.
He nods back and sarcastically answers me, “I don’t go by that name funny enough, you can call me Hans.”
One side of my mouth lifts into a smirk.
I think I might like this wolf.
“I’m guessing you know who I am, as we are signed to the same record label and I’m sure my Entwined has filled you in.” I say the Entwined part a bit louder than the other words so I make it clear Peppa is mine.
He looks a bit nervous and shifts from one foot to the other, “Not exactly, my mate did. And let’s get one thing straight, I’m not interested in Peppa but you are one lucky vampire by the way.”
A smile appears on my face because he is right, I am lucky. Then I frown when I register the word mate and there is only one other woman in the house. I blurt out, “Monica is your mate? Wow! Does she know?”
He shakes his head, “No, how do you tell someone that you are different and a supernatural?”
I laugh, “Been there, done that, have the T-shirt and nearly lost her. From my experience, believe me, don’t leave it too long to tell her the truth.”
We carry on talking for another hour or so, I make it clear this is mine and Noah’s territory and we even talk about how he ended up here. I ask him to keep an eye on Jacob, never to leave him alone with Peppa. I also warn him that if he hurts Monica, he will have to deal with me as it will hurt Peppa too and no one hurts my woman. I actually find myself liking the wolf and even though I didn’t know Monica that well, I hope she accepts him.
The next night I have the pleasure of telling Noah all about Hans and Jacob, but Hans is soon forgotten when Jacob’s name leaves my lips. “If he lays one finger on Peppa, I will kill him Juan, I hate that bastard.”
“He’s all mouth and no trousers and besides, he’s working for your father. Are you going to kill him too?”
Noah starts pacing the room, “What am I supposed to do about my father Juan? I can’t stand the fact that he is playing these games with Peppa and I’m stuck in this fucking room twiddling my thumbs. I should be with her, then none of this would be happening.”
I reach for him and bring him into my arms and kiss his forehead, “I will use my mind control on him if you wish and clear his memory.”
Noah pulls back from me and looks me square in the eye with determination, “I agree some memories need to be wiped but he needs to know that you and Peppa are my life and nothing he can say or do will rip us apart.”
The thought,
it’s going to be me who rips us apart
plays like a stuck record in my head and I quickly give Noah a kiss and tell him I need to go, hoping he didn’t hear my thought.
When I made it to Peppa’s that night we each said sorry. She made a pass at me and I fucking rejected her.
What’s wrong with me? I want her, I want to feel her warm body underneath me, but I'm scared to make love to her. The foul lies that leave my mouth time and time again run through my veins like poison. Is that what I’m scared of? That I will pass the poison onto her, infect her even more?
I quickly change the subject, but I sense her discomfort, I hurt her yet again. She listens in awe when I tell her about shifters. She is scared at first, but then I let her know Hans isn’t the big bad wolf and he can be trusted. Everything seemed to go back to normal for the next couple of days. I even managed to take Noah out again to feed and he made a new friend called Flora.
The gigs continue to go well with only one mishap. Cruz was behaving himself, I'm beginning to wonder if he found a threesome of his own as the same couple appeared at the shows and he would disappear with them. I wish he could understand that if he only accepted his Entwined, he wouldn’t feel the need to have meaningless sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry, but this was Cruz. There was no telling him, he will learn the hard way.
It is on Thursday night that I make a decision. I can't go on like this, the groupies have overstepped the mark. One of them had made it onto the stage, she had whipped her top off, her tits bouncing all over the place. She danced her way over to me and crawled onto my lap. I tried to keep playing but missed a few beats. I bucked my hips trying to get her off me, but I guess she thought I wanted to fuck her, and she started to rotate her hips simulating sex. She then put her hands down my jeans and touched my dick. I shudder with revulsion, if she thinks I'm getting hard for her she has another thing coming. Vomit actually makes its way into my mouth and I have to swallow it back down. Security finally rushes on the stage and tried to pull her off me, but the bitch won’t let go of my dick and I swear she nearly tears it off. Good thing I heal quickly.
Cruz and Saul, like the professionals they are, carried on playing giving me a smirk every now and again and I quickly find the beat again. It is after that I decided it is time for our threesome to become whole again and this time nothing is going to stand in my way. If Peppa and Noah agreed, I wanted to tell the world that they are mine, even if Noah only agreed and I come out as gay, I hoped it would stop what happened tonight.
That isn’t the only reason, enough is enough, I can’t go on like this. I'm almost at my breaking point. I tell Peppa that night I want to take her out, she thinks I mean on a date, but no, she is going to see Noah again. When I feed Noah the next night, I tell him I have a surprise for him. I tried to keep my mind blank and my feelings under control, but I can’t hide anything from him. I'm dragged over to the bed and ravished from head to foot by his hands and mouth. I let him suck me off, but that’s where it ended, I had to leave.
The gig is a success and after saying goodbye to the lads, I made my way to Peppa. The fear of the unknown about what tomorrow will bring played havoc in my mind. Anxiety ate away at me, I have to face the fact that I can lose Peppa and maybe tonight is all I have left and I am going to make the most of it.