“How will we feel if one of us gets it and the other one is left behind?”
“Bryer, only you would think of the person left behind,” Jake says. “It’s going to be you.”
“Perhaps.” I feel shy and excited all at once. “I wonder when they’ll announce it?”
“Soon. There’s work left to finish that he was responsible for.”
That makes my day brighter, knowing this week I could possibly get a promotion. But if not, Jake as my new boss would be such an improvement. This is a complete win-win situation.
***
WEDNESDAY ARRIVES AND
I’ve heard from Nathan every single day and night.
“I want you to start staying over at my house, Bryer. With our schedules conflicting, this is the only solution.”
He’s right, and I feel the pull to be with him.
“I”ll make every effort to make that happen.”
I haven’t mentioned anything about my job because there isn’t anything to tell yet.
Thursday, I arrive at my office to find a note on my desk that says, “See me.” It’s from the owner, Thane Kingsley. I like Thane. He’s laid back and a trustworthy man. He isn’t as hands on as I would like, but that could all change.
While knocking on his door, I focus on his name etched in the glass. I’m feeling anxious energy.
Breathe, Bryer
.
“Come in.”
“Mr. Kingsley, you wanted to see me?”
“Yes. How are you, Bryer?”
“I’m doing well, sir, and yourself?”
“Please, take a seat.” He leans back and plays with a pen. I can’t help but be distracted by the silence and his fidgeting. Is he nervous?
“As you know, Morton is gone.”
“Yes, I heard.”
“We are promoting within.”
“That’ll be a great incentive to the employees, sir.”
“Bryer, hands down you are the most driven manager in this place. You’re smart, and I believe your creative energy is exactly what we need.” He leans forward and steeples his hands. “Therefore, I’m offering you the position. My hope is you’ll change the trajectory of our company. That is if you accept it, of course.”
“It would be an honor, Mr. Kingsley.”
“Don’t you want to look over the contract?”
“Yes, of course, but I’m certain the answer will still be yes.” My insides are doing summersaults.
He hands me a folder. “Read it over the weekend and let me know Monday.” He extends his hand and I shake it.
“Thank you, sir.”
***
OH MY GOD.
I can’t believe this. What an opportunity.
I peek in to Jake’s office and say, “Got it,” then walk away.
“Hold up, Reid.” He follows me into my office. “The promotion? You got it?” Curiosity sparkles in his eyes.
“Yes.”
He hugs me and congratulates me.
“You’re going to make a great boss.”
I can’t wait to tell Nathan, so I call him right away.
“Hi.” I’m surprised when he answers, since I thought he’d be busy with a client.
“I have some news. But maybe I should tell you face to face.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Tell me.”
“Bossy.”
“Bryer, what is it?”
“Well, I was just offered a promotion.”
“That’s fantastic. Congratulations. You should be so proud of yourself.”
“I’m excited, but I need a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Will you look over the contract for me this weekend?”
“You know I will.”
“Okay. Thanks, babe. I gotta go. I’ll see you later. Bye!”
“Oh, Bryer? Thanks for calling and sharing the good news.”
“Just you, handsome.”
THE DAY IS HERE,
and I’m numb from the inside out, Dr. Fields appointment is just hours away.
Nathan knocks on my door. He’s nervous, I can tell, because he quickly knocks again.
“Hey baby. You’re early. Come in.”
“I’m a little anxious.” He paces back and forth.
“You’re not alone. I’ll be there the whole time,” I reassure him. “I hear he’s the best. Whatever happens, we know this is a step in the right direction.”
“I know.”
“Let me get my things and we can go. I’m sure there are forms for you to fill out.”
And there are. I watch as Nathan goes through page after page. They ask an array of questions, I watch as he answers about his past issues and, the most important, why he’s here. He finishes and walks up to the front desk. I ignore the receptionist eye-fucking him.
The door opens and the nurse calls, “Mr. James?”
He lets out a breath and we both walk in holding hands. We’re put into an office setting rather than an examination room and it feels less like a clinic and more like a comfortable living area. Sitting on the couch, facing the doctor’s desk, we wait.
“Remember to breathe, babe,” I say, sounding stronger than I really feel.
At that moment, the doctor walks in.
“You must be Nathan James.” He extends his hand and Nathan stands to shake it.
“Dr. Fields, this is my girlfriend, Bryer.” I watch as the doctor reads over Nathan’s paperwork.
“So your goal today is to achieve a successful hypnosis focusing on age regression and you hope to find out if any childhood traumas are flaring up in your present nightmares today. Is that correct?” He looks up at Nathan.
“That about sums it up, Doctor.”
I’m impressed by the doctor’s ability to grasp Nathan’s issue in such an insightful manner, and within minutes.
“Have you ever been hypnotized before?” Dr. Fields asks.
“No, I’ve never tried.”
“We’re going to try today, just briefly to see how easily you go under, if indeed you can at all.
“Bryer is it?” Dr. Fields asks me and I nod. “Can I get you to take a seat over by the window?”
“Of course.”
The shades are drawn and the doctor dims the lights. He moves from around his desk into a chair closer to Nathan.
“Let’s start with a few steady breaths. Even though this is our first meeting, try not to be nervous. You can trust me. In and out.” Dr. Fields instructs him with such sensitivity. His tone softens as he leans closer to Nathan. His words are almost a whisper now, but I hear every word.
“Close your eyes. Keep breathing. Focus on your breath. In and out. Just let your feet relax. Now let your legs relax. Allow some time in between commands. Keep breathing, and nod if you feel any change in your heartbeat.”
As he grows more relaxed, Nathan nods.
“Unwind your torso and feel the breath go in and out. Your arms, your neck, and your head are free of tension.” Before he continues, Dr. Fields waits several minutes that feel like hours.
“You should feel weightless. Visualize all the stress leaving your body. You are left feeling safe and calm. You can feel yourself growing heavier now, as if you’re sinking into a cloud. This feeling is getting stronger and stronger, until it carries you into a peaceful state of hypnosis. And the deeper you go, the more enjoyable the experience becomes. Nod if you feel this.”
Nathan nods.
“I’m going to ask you a series of questions. Did you have uninterrupted sleep last night?”
“No.”
“Do you have nightmares every night, whether you recall them or not?”
“Yes.” Nathan shifts and barely resembles himself.
“You are still relaxed, Nathan. Breathe slowly and evenly. I want you to recall the dream.”
Nathan looks like he’s trying to remember. “I don’t want to drink it.” Nathan speaks in a small voice, like a child.
“Who’s with you, Nathan?”
“My father.”
“Do you know what he wants you to drink?”
“Medicine. It tastes yucky.” A young Nathan shakes his head and pushes something away, but his eyes are still closed.
“What was the memory you just had, Nathan?”
“I’m fighting with my father. I tried to knock it out of his hand and he’s mad at me now.” He shakes his head again. “He forces me to drink it by squeezing my cheeks really hard while he brings the glass to my mouth.” Tears stream from his closed eyes. “So I do.”
I feel powerless and struggle with the overpowering desire to rush to his side.
“Remember, you are safe here. Keep your breathing slow and we can continue.” Dr. Fields pauses for several minutes.
“I saw him.” Nathan says.
“What did you see?”
“He hit my mom, and she was on the floor crying. I tried to get to her in their bedroom, but he caught me, and he had that yucky medicine.” Nathan makes faces about being forced to take it.
“Nathan, you were a little boy. It wasn’t your job to protect your mother. You know that right?”
“No. I could hear her crying out for me when I was in my bed, but I couldn’t move. I felt like I was dreaming, but it was real.”
“I’m sure your mother was only concerned for your safety. She didn’t expect you to come to her rescue. Do you understand this now?”
Dr. Fields tries to convince him. But he only shakes his head no.
“This wasn’t your fault.”
With every minute that passes, I question what Nathan witnessed when he was a child. Was his father abusing his mother throughout their marriage? If that’s the case, I can’t imagine Nathan not remembering that.
“Nathan, did this happen often?”
“No.”
“Had you ever witnessed any physical altercation between your parents before this?” Dr. Fields asks.
“He would boss her around a lot and be mean.”
“And what made this night different?”
“She died.”
Bile rises in my throat. I look at Dr. Fields and he looks back at me.
“Nathan, take a deep breath.” He does, but his chest rises and falls erratically. “Did your mother die the same night you took the medication?”
“Yes.”
Tears form in my eyes as I process this story in disbelief.
“You’re here with me and Bryer. You’re safe,” Dr. Fields tells him. “Nathan, we’re going to conclude this session and follow up with more details at a later date. Are you open to that?”
Nathan nods.
“I’m going to count from five to one and you will feel wide awake and fully alert. 5…4…3…2…1.”
Nathan’s eyes open and he looks around for me. Our gazes meet and he smiles.
“So, how did I do?” he asks, and I’m stunned into silence.
“Do you recall anything from this session?” Dr. Fields asks.
“Not really. I remember relaxing. Oh, and the breathing.”
“That’s not unusual, but we should have another session. Would you mind talking to the nurse to set your next appointment as soon as possible? I would like a word with Bryer,” Dr. Fields tells Nathan.
Nathan leaves and I sit where he sat.
“I can understand why Nathan is still suppressing the trauma, and, for his sake, I would like to take this slowly,” Dr. Fields tells me. “Discussing this session with him could compromise the next session. You can’t speak with him about what he said today. Do you understand?”
“Of course, but, Dr. Fields, something terrible happened that night.”
He nods.
“We have to get to the bottom of this for Nathan’s sake.” I’m shaken to the core.
“And we will, Bryer.”
“Thank you for everything. Your work was amazing.”
“In reality, it was Nathan. It’s never this easy.”
I shake his hand, leave, and look for Nathan. He smiles when he sees me, and I take his hand in mine, wondering what the hell just happened.
“Can I spend the night?” I change the subject.
“Of course. You don’t ever have to ask, baby.”
Once inside the car, he asks the question I knew was coming, “So, what happened in there?” With an expression of concern on his face, he looks at me for answers.
“You brought up a few incidents when you were a child. But Dr. Fields asked me not to compromise his findings.”
“So, no concrete answers again?”
“No,” I say, telling myself that this isn’t really not a lie.
***
INSIDE HIS HOUSE
smells heavenly. “Who’s cooking?”
“Mary Ann. Father’s cook. She came by today to put a roast in the oven for us. I knew we wouldn’t want to go out, and she’s always been kind enough to help me when I needed it.”
“That’s a great idea. I should thank her for being so thoughtful.”
“Let’s open a bottle of wine. We have some celebrating to do.”
I give him a puzzled look.
“Your promotion.” He kisses me on the cheek.
My nerves are shot over the new information Nathan divulged, so I could definitely use that drink. “Stellar idea. Fill me up.”
Nathan walks back into the living room with glasses and an open bottle. I guess he’s drinking with me. That’s rare. “I just checked the oven. Everything’s ready. She outdid herself again.” He pours two glasses and hands one to me. “Just tell me when you’re hungry and we can eat. Now, about the job...”
“Well.” I force myself to shift gears. “My boss, Mr. Morton, was let go last week.”
“No love lost there.”
“And now I have this offer, an opportunity to make some positive changes, which will make a difference for everyone involved.”
“So, you’re not only devastatingly beautiful, you’re smart as hell too! You should be so proud of yourself, Bryer. You deserve it.” He smiles while clinking our two glasses together.
“Yeah, I pretty much rock.” I giggle as I hand him the contract.
“Ah, humble too.”
“I’d appreciate if you could put your eyes on this. You’re the business expert in the family.” I stiffen. Did I say family?
“Of course. I’ll look at it.” He doesn’t seem to notice my slip.
“I need to give him an answer by Monday, but I already said yes. This is just making it official.”
“Okay. We have all night together.” He grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger. Blue to green--our eyes connect with the promise of something more to come. He gives me a quick kiss.
The dinner is amazing, and I’m on my third glass of wine and feeling a little tingly. Nathan stopped at one glass.
“Here, drink this.” He holds out a glass of ice water. “Then we can look over your contract in the living room.”
He’s still wearing that white button down shirt and it’s doing things to me.