Frigid (23 page)

I glanced at the wall clock. Half an hour had passed since he’d left and I was already going stir crazy. I wanted to get out of this house. Without him here, I was developing a mad case of cabin fever.

Stopping by the Christmas tree, I huddled down in my sweater and stared out the large window. I felt…different. It was strange that only a handful of days had passed since we’d arrived in Snowshoe, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

A small smile pulled at my lips and I closed my eyes as I remembered telling Kyler that I wanted him. I did a little wiggle out of residual embarrassment, and then laughed, because seriously, I never in my life had thought I’d have the courage to put myself out there like that and until that moment I really didn’t realize how afraid I’d been. That wasn’t any way to live, I realized sort of dumbly.

It didn’t have anything to do with the sex—the different way I felt. Well, I did ache in a wholly pleasant way in areas I didn’t think I could ache in, but it was more than that. I never really went after anything I wanted. I’d always been too cautious, and ever since the way things had ended with Nate, I’d been even more afraid of letting go—of not being in control and doing things that could potentially end in a world of hurting.

In a way, it was like a childish security blanket that I’d wrapped around me. Telling Kyler I wanted him was like shedding that blanket. Now I just needed to follow through and tell him everything.

I needed to tell Kyler that I loved him.

My heart skipped a beat even thinking about doing that. I was going to be afraid. It was going to be painfully awkward, and I’d rather kick myself than do this, but I would.

When I’d been alone with those thoughts for an hour, I couldn’t take the waiting anymore. I made up my mind without really thinking about it. Pulling my coat on along with gloves and a hat, I headed down to the garage.

Dragging the other snowmobile out into the heavily packed snow was a huge pain in the ass. Since the power was out, it took a few moments to pull the garage door down by hand, and I didn’t close it all the way, leaving a gap a couple of inches high, so I could open it when I got back. I climbed on the red and white snowmobile and let out a happy sigh when it kicked on with no problems. Temps were brutal cold, so I hurried as I slid the helmet on.

I wasn’t a pro at driving a snowmobile, but there was so much snow, it glided smoothly, kicking up a fine dusting. Even with the gloves, my fingers felt like frozen fish sticks by the time I slid to a stop in front of the main lodge.

People stood in front of their businesses along the street, shovels in hand, starting the massive dig-out process. In some areas, snow drifts covered cars and only thin slices of metal peeked through. It was amazing and crazy to see what Mother Nature was capable of when she was pissed or bored.

Many snowmobiles were parked by the shoveled walkway, and I couldn’t tell which one belonged to Kyler. They all looked alike to me. As I headed up the pathway, I could hear machinery off in the distance, most likely plows.

The main lodge was all kinds of nice and toasty, powered up with lights and TVs. It was like paradise as I pulled my helmet off and looked around. They obviously hadn’t lost any power here. Lucky bastards.

But honestly, I couldn’t be that upset about the power thing. Cuddling with Kyler totally made up for eating crappy food and freezing showers.

There was a game room and sitting area off to the side, and the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. Hot damn, I bet that was where Kyler was, shoving food in his mouth. Not that I could blame him. I would do bad things for some scrambled eggs right about now.

A lot of people were clustered around the games and couches. Some of them were talking about how long they’d been out of power or when they were planning to leave. I scoured the crowd, but didn’t see Kyler. I did, however, recognize the bartender from the first night here.

He turned and smiled when he spotted me. “Hey, good to see you survived the blizzard of the century.”

Holding my helmet to my hip, I approached his side.

“Yeah, we survived without power.”

“That’s what I heard.” He took a sip from his coffee and my taste buds started drooling. “Your friend told me a tree took out the power lines.”

My brows rose. “Kyler?”

He nodded. “Yeah, he was down here not too long ago. He was telling me that he thought someone had been messing with the house during the storm—something about shooting out a window and cutting the wires to the generator?”

“Yeah, I was hoping it…” I trailed off, replaying his words in my head. “Wait. You said Kyler
was
here?”

Scratching his jaw, he nodded again. “Yeah, he was asking about the roads, too. He seemed eager to get out of town. Not that I can blame him. Snow is fun when you can get out and do stuff in it, but when it dumps on you like this, not so much.”

“Oh.” I shifted the helmet. “I must’ve just missed him, then.” As soon as I said that, though, I knew that didn’t make sense. There was only one way to get from the lodge to the house and I would’ve seen him. Dread turned the blood in my veins to slush. What if he’d veered off somewhere and was hurt? “When did he leave?” I asked.

His brows knitted in a concentration. “Ah, maybe about a half an hour ago?”

My heart stopped. I swore it totally missed a beat.

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Him and Sasha left around 9:30.”

“What?” I didn’t—I couldn’t have heard him right. There was no way. My ears were little fucks and were messing up words. There was no way he meant Sexy Sasha, the statuesque brunette bombshell that Kyler knew from waaay back. “He left with Sasha?”

“Yeah.” The bartender grinned, and I did not like that grin. It was an attaboy grin. “Seemed real happy to see her, too, but they always hang out when he comes here.”

I stared at him. Kyler came up here a lot during the season, sometimes alone and other times with Tanner and whatnot. I only did the Christmas trip, so it took no leap of imagination to think the bartender was familiar with Kyler.

Familiar with Kyler and Sasha together, apparently.

The bartender shook his head, grinning. “I think they were heading back to her place. She’s been without power too, but I doubt he’s checking
that
out.”

Yeah, I doubted that too because—
oh
God—because Kyler didn’t know shit when it came to electricity. He was with Sasha.

He was fucking Sasha.

I took a step back, my mouth open but I didn’t know what to say. My stomach roiled as a deep ache exploded in my chest. I was going to be sick.

“Hey,” the bartended said, putting his hand on my shoulder as I bent down. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” My voice sounded reedy and far away. “I’m okay.”

But I wasn’t. I was far from okay. That ache in my chest was crawling through my veins and up my throat. My eyes burned and my body felt numb.

“Oh, shit.” The bartender let go of my shoulder and cringed like he’d just told me I had some incurable disease. “Oh, shit, shit, shit. You’re with Kyler, aren’t you? Like
with
him?” He didn’t give me a chance to response. “Look, I’m just talking out of my ass. I’m sure he just went over there to check out the power thing and nothing else.”

I really didn’t hear any more of his backpedaling. My heart was thumping in my ears. The floor seemed to have moved out from under my feet, and even though I was still standing, it felt like I was falling. Part of me wanted to kick the messenger. Jump on him and slam my fists into his stomach and make him take back what he’d said, but it wasn’t his fault. I had to keep telling myself that.

“I’m not with him,” I blurted out.

He frowned. “What?”

“I’m not with him,” I repeated it, and it hurt. It
physically
hurt.

Like someone had stabbed a rusty knife in my chest and twisted, because it was the truth. I wasn’t with Kyler. I’d had sex with him, but I wasn’t
with
him. There’d been no labels between us, no promises. He said I’d deserved better than a hookup, but that’s what I was. I was nothing more than a hookup when it was said and done.

And this—
this
was typical Kyler, going from one girl to the next. It wouldn’t even be the first time he’d been with two girls in one day…or at one time. He’d been so quiet after the shower, so tense. Had he decided he’d had enough?

I knew him better than anyone else on the planet. Sex didn’t mean anything to him. Time and time again, he’d said it was only about two people getting off. Why would I think it would be any different with me? Just because he’d fucked me face-to-face and had forgotten to use a condom once? Holy shit, did I really think
that
meant something?

I did. God, I really had thought I meant more.

“Hon,” the bartender said. “I’m really sorry.”

Without saying another word, I turned and headed out of the large room. I started for the door, but stopped and backtracked to the main lodge. “Can I use the phone?” I didn’t recognize my own voice as I put my helmet on the counter.

The lady behind the desk nodded and placed the handset by me. I almost called Andrea, but I couldn’t talk to her. She’d know the moment she heard my voice. It rang twice before it was picked up.

“Mom?”

There was a static-filled pause. “Sydney? Is that you?”

Unless there was another child I was unaware of… “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh, thank God. I’ve been worried with this storm and all and you haven’t answered your phone. Kyler’s mom said you did something to it and you two were okay and I knew you’d be fine with him, but…”

I winced at the sound of his name and almost lost it right then. “Mom, how are the roads back home?”

“Main roads are pretty much clear. Your father said the highways are fine.”

“Okay.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the burn. “Do you…do you think you guys can come get me?”

“Yes. Of course, but what about Kyler? Is he staying up there longer? Or is something wrong with his car?”

My mom, the queen of questions I couldn’t even begin to answer. “His car is fine. I just…I just want to come home. Please.”

There was another pause and I swore I heard my mom’s sharp inhale. “Are you okay, honey?”

“Yeah,” I croaked out, forcing my eyes open. The lady behind the desk was staring at me like I was a deranged mental patient. “I think I’m coming down with something.”

Mom said something about being sick for Christmas, and then got off the phone in search of Dad. I felt terrible for asking them to drive more than an hour to come get me, but I couldn’t be in the house with Kyler after this. I didn’t think I could be anywhere near him ever again.

Thanking the lady, I handed the phone over and headed out to the snowmobile. I don’t remember the ride back to the house. Only that when I slid off the snowmobile, I realized I’d left my helmet back at the lodge. I hadn’t even felt the whipping wind of the flight here. I was numb as I stumbled through the snow.

I saw the tracks first. Not snowmobile tracks, but two separate sets of slashes that came from around the side of the house, like the kind skis made or from dragging feet through the snow.

My stomach flipped.

Had Kyler come back while I’d been at the lodge? And had he brought Sasha with him?

I stared at the marks in the snow. No. No way would he be that bold. Unless he just didn’t care. Oh God, I couldn’t even think about that. I pressed a mitten-covered hand against the front of my jacket. If he was in there with Sasha, I was going to kick him in the junk.

The back of my throat burned as a sharp pain sliced across my chest. Blinking back tears, I turned to the garage door. It wasn’t closed all the way, and the gap in the bottom was a lot bigger than I’d left it.

I briefly considered going back to the lodge and waiting however long it took my parents to get here, but since I was a complete idiot, I hadn’t told my parents I’d be at the lodge. They’d come here first and besides, I had to pack up my stuff.

I could do this. I wasn’t going to be a baby and run. It was bad enough that I’d called my parents. I could do this.

Forcing one foot in front of the other, I hastily wiped at the tear sneaking onto my cheek. Knowing with my luck the sucker would freeze on my face, and the whole world would know I was seconds away from bawling like a kid being told Santa wasn’t real.

I’d cried then.

I was about to cry again.

As I reached the garage door, I wondered why Kyler had parked out back. That part didn’t make any sense, but I really didn’t give a crap at this point. The ache in my chest got worse. Lifting the door, I took a deep breath and it got caught in my throat.

I blinked slowly, thinking I’d stumbled into an episode of
Law and Order
.

Two men were kneeling at the back of Kyler’s SUV, by the rear tire. Black ski masks covered their faces. One held a wicked-looking knife, dragging it through the thick black tire, and the other held a baseball bat. Both were staring at me. They started to rise.

Oh crap.

Everything seemed in to move in slow motion. Part of me couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My brain refused to digest what was happening, but my heart and body were so on-board. Instinct kicked in as my pulse went into overdrive.

The man raised the baseball bat. “Shit.”

Backpedaling, I opened my mouth to scream, because screaming would be real good at this moment, as my foot hit of the edge of the snow by the door opening. I went down, arms flailing as my foot slipped out from underneath me. My back and legs hit the hard cement, knocking the air out of me.

One of the guys laughed, and I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed or be more terrified by that.

The one with the baseball bat loomed over me, head cocked to the side. “Shit,” he said again, turning back to the other guy. “We need—”

I let loose an ear-splitting scream as I scrambled backward, through the snow. Twisting at the waist, I pushed up. I had to get to the snowmobile, head back to—

An arm circled my waist, snatching me clear off the ground. A hand smacked down on my mouth, stifling another scream. My heart jumped against my ribs. I started struggling, kicking my legs.