From Ashes (17 page)

Turning around after dead-bolting the door, I caught sight of Cassidy dropping her shirt to the floor with a
Come get me
look on her face as she turned to go down the hall toward my room.
Hell. Yeah. My girl is damn sexy.
I didn’t wait for the bedroom either; my shirt was forgotten somewhere in the living room and my jeans made it as far as the bedroom door before being left behind as well. Cassidy had just slipped off her bra, and I picked her up and tossed her on the bed; a throaty laugh filled the room as she landed. Before the bed was done settling from my having her thrown on, I was on top of her and claiming her mouth. She moaned and secured me to her body with her arms and legs, but it wasn’t close enough . . . I doubted it ever would be. I would always want to be closer to my Cassidy.

Her hands trailed up my back, over my shoulders, and then one continued down to my hand, which was in her thick hair. Grabbing my fingers, she moved my hand and slowly brought it down her body, keeping our fingers intertwined as she led our hands to remove her underwear. I stopped kissing her to watch our hands make their way back up her leg and stop below her left hip. Looking down into her now-dark eyes, I held her gaze as I took my hand from hers and slowly ran it over her before sliding one finger inside. She gasped and let her head fall back as her eyes fluttered shut and her mouth opened slightly. I watched her face as every sensation ran through her body and soon added a second finger, earning a soft whimper from her. Holy hell, she was so tight. Glancing down again, I watched my hand teasing her body and got the strongest urge to do something I’d never done. I know I told her she was in control, and she was, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. Hell, I was about ready to beg her to let me do this for her.

“Darlin’, I—”

“Please, Gage,” she said soft as a whisper, and her heavy-lidded eyes looked up at me. “I’ve wanted and dreamed about this for so long. I don’t want you to stop.” She brought her shaky hands up to my hips and slid the band of my boxer-briefs down enough to take my erection in her hands, and a shiver ran through my body.

She’d barely touched me and already I had to work at not coming yet. I’d never had an issue with this, but then again, it’d never been Cassidy touching me. I focused all my attention on what I was doing for her and couldn’t wait another second to take what I wanted. The instant loss of her hands on me was like a physical blow, but this was about her. Sliding my body down the bed, I continued to work her with my fingers and leaned forward to taste her. Cassidy roughly whispered my name and her hands flew to my head, but instead of pulling me away like I was expecting, she held it in place. And thank God, because now that I had a taste of her, I didn’t want to stop.

When her body shook and she cried out my name, I pulled my boxer-briefs off the rest of the way and positioned myself between her thighs. She looked up at me after I cupped her cheek with a hand and I kept our gazes locked on each other. “You say stop and we’ll stop. Okay?”

Cassidy nodded and wiggled beneath me as she said, “I want this, don’t stop.”

All the muscles in my body locked and I clenched my jaw as I slowly entered her. God, she was so damn tight. “Fuck,” I growled. I saw the uncomfortable pleasure on her face and gave her time as her body stretched around me. I wasn’t even halfway in when her body locked and she huffed out harshly. I looked into her wide, trusting eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready for this Cass?” The first girl I’d ever been with had been a virgin, but since her, Cassidy was the only other one. My first time I hadn’t realized what I was doing until it was practically over, and even then I didn’t care that she was probably hurting. But knowing I was about to deliberately hurt Cassidy had my chest tightening.

Her only answer was to hitch her knees up onto my hips and wrap her hands around my neck.

I pulled back slightly and pushed back in the inch I’d just given up a few times to ready her. The fourth time I pulled back farther before filling her with my entire length in one swift, but as gentle as possible, thrust. Cassidy’s mouth and eyes clamped shut as her forehead pressed into my neck and her hold on me tightened. A whimper escaped her, and there was no doubt in my damn mind that it was a bad one. I didn’t move until she lay back against the pillow, and when I saw her face I about died. Her eyes were bright and a few tears were on her cheeks and spilling down into her hair. The pain in her face was evident, as was the love she had for me.

“Cassidy—” I whispered as I slowly started to pull out.

When she realized what I was doing, her eyes went wide and she dug her heels into my lower back as she shook her head. “No, Gage, don’t.”

“I’m hurting you.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine.” Her voice shook slightly and my jaw clenched. “You’ll crush me if you stop now. I want this with you so bad, don’t stop this. I love you.”

Pressing my lips to hers, I slowly inched my way back in and cringed when another muffled cry left her chest. “I love you too, darlin’.”

I kept everything slow and easy for a few minutes, listening intently to every sound she made and watching every expression cross her face. Her head dropped back first, then another couple minutes after that her body completely relaxed and her sounds started turning into breathy moans. I picked up the pace slightly and later, when she dug her nails into my back and her thighs tightened around me as she came for the second time, I pulled all the way out and slammed back into her. And God, that erotic moan that sounded in my ear almost pushed me over the edge. She started matching me thrust for thrust and soon her moans turned into pleas to go faster, harder, and I was more than happy to give my girl what she wanted. Right before I gave myself over to her, I felt her tightening around me for the third time. God, she was so freakin’ responsive! I ground my teeth and held off until she came undone once again; her name ripped from my throat as I came crashing down with her. My arms gave out and I rolled us so she lay on top of me as our breathing slowed and returned to normal.

Cassidy’s eyes started growing heavy, so I kept her in my arms as I rolled off the bed and walked her into my bathroom. I set her on her feet, turned on the shower, and walked toward the trash to discard the condom when I stopped dead. Oh. Shit.

“Gage? Are you okay?” She ran to my side and looked down to where my gaze was and covered her mouth as her cheeks got red. “Oh God, that’s really embarrassing.”

I looked at her and looked back down, realizing what she was seeing. Her innocence was on me, and I knew it was on her as well, which was why I’d brought us in here. But that’s not what stopped me. I hooked one arm around her and brought her face up to look at me. “Cassidy, you were a virgin, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But, darlin’—I didn’t wear a condom.”

She still looked mortified but shook her head and dismissed my words with a wave of her hand. “I know, I’m on the pill to regulate my cycle. It’s okay.”

Hearing that relieved me, but I still couldn’t believe it hadn’t once crossed my mind during. I’d never once forgotten to wear a condom; it was always my first thought as well as my last when it came to other women. But I guess I should have known I wouldn’t be able to think of anything but what was happening when I was with Cassidy. Now that I knew she was on the pill, I was actually excited as I realized I didn’t want anything to be between us ever. “Cassidy, look at me. You just gave me something incredibly special; I’m going to cherish that, and tonight, forever. Tonight was perfect, don’t be embarrassed about it, okay?”

She nodded and smiled when I kissed her quickly.

C
ASSIDY

M
Y HEART WAS
swelling as Gage once again took care of me in his shower. This time was vastly different from the first, but it somehow made me fall in love with him even more. His hands were tender as they washed my hair and my body. And as I did the same for him, he continued to pull me into his arms and press light kisses to my lips and whisper in my ear everything from sweet nothings, to his love, to how he wanted to have his dirty way with me again.

Experiencing all of that with Gage was more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined. He was right, tonight was perfect. It had hurt way worse than I was expecting, but he’d been so gentle with me until I was ready for more, and then the more had been earth-shattering and yet still so full of passion that I didn’t want it to ever end.

When we were dried off, he led me back into his room and pulled me onto the bed before bringing me into his arms and curling his body around mine. It reminded me of that night on the ranch and I relaxed into his chest, knowing that this time, Tyler wouldn’t be around to ruin us the next day.

“Do you ever think about that night?” he asked as he pulled my arm up and ran his thumb over my tattoo. Apparently our curling up in each other’s arms hadn’t reminded only me of the ranch.

“All the time. Until tonight, that was the best night of my life,” I answered softly, and looked at the cluster of stars with him. “I had finally acknowledged that you would never be in my life the way I wanted you to be. But you had turned my life completely upside down, and I knew I’d never be the same, just as I knew I’d never find anyone like you. I didn’t want to ever forget you or that night together. Knowing the constellation was special to you too, and having found out on that night together, I decided I wanted that to be my reminder of you.”

Gage kissed the top of my head. “I’ve been wondering since the first time I saw it if that night had anything to do with it. And, Cassidy?”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t ever have to worry about forgetting me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I thought about his moving out without a word. “Promise?”

“I promise.” His arm tightened around my waist and my eyes drifted shut.

G
AGE WOKE ME
up early the next morning with soft kisses to my neck and I rolled over to face him, trying to ignore the deep ache that radiated between my legs and low in my stomach. An involuntary groan left my lips and he looked up at me, worried.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Honestly, I feel amazing.” And I really did. Waking up in his arms knowing everything was finally okay made me feel better than amazing. “A little sore, but it’s a good sore.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” he said against my neck, and I felt his erection against my stomach.

Funny that when that happened with Tyler, even if we were fully clothed, I hated it. Now, lying here naked with Gage, I couldn’t think of a better way to wake up. “I’m not; I wouldn’t mind if you did it again either.”

His lips froze and he lifted his head so his dark green eyes were searching mine, “Cassidy, I don’t—”

From his expression, I knew he thought he’d be hurting me again, but I cut him off and faked hurt. “Oh . . . I understand, I’ll just go get ready . . .” I trailed off and laughed when he rolled me back underneath him and pressed his mouth onto mine.

“You are seriously mistaken if you think I don’t want you.” He ground his hips against mine and separated my legs with his knee. “Sorry, darlin’, but you’re gonna be late for work today.”

I groaned in both pleasure and slight pain when he pushed into me. “I’m sure I’ll get over it.”

Chapter Twelve

G
AGE

I
HONESTLY THOUGHT
nothing could bring me down from the mood I was in. Cassidy and I spent every spare moment together, and while our times together in bed . . . and the shower . . . and the couch . . . and the kitchen table . . . hell, all our times
together
were amazing, I loved just spending time with her too. It was better than before; now that neither of us was trying to hide our feelings for the other, we were able to talk freely about everything. Every night I fell asleep with her in my arms and woke the same. It had almost been a week since the wedding, and like I said, I thought nothing could bring me down. But then I saw Tyler at school.

“Son of a bitch . . . this isn’t gonna end well.”

“Sorry, what?” I glanced over at Ethan, then followed his stare over to see Tyler stalking toward us. “Crap, he knows.”

“Were you gonna tell me?” he demanded when he reached us.

I blew out a deep breath to relax myself; I really didn’t want to do this on campus of all places. “Tell you what, exactly?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Gage. You’re sleeping with Cassi.”

I kept my mouth shut, letting my silence answer for me.

“I can’t believe this!”

“Ty, come on, man. Let’s talk about this somewhere else.”

He let out a frustrated laugh and ran a hand roughly through his hair. “My own cousin is fucking my girlfriend!”

My eyes narrowed and I spoke through clenched teeth. “First off, she ain’t your anything. Second, we know what you were doing. We know you played both of us.”

Tyler’s eyes widened momentarily.

“Yeah, we told each other
everything.
Every damn thing you told us. And I gotta say,
cousin,
” I sneered, “that’s a really fuckin’ shitty thing to do. You’re gonna pull the family card with me? You knew how I felt about her and you were so threatened by that because she felt the same that you had to tell me she was your girlfriend? That she was blowing you when you knew, you
knew
we’d just spent the night together? You had to tell her that I couldn’t stand her and later that I thought of her like a sister? Ty, man, you were like a brother to me. And you repeatedly screwed both me and Cassidy over.”

“I told you she was mine and you wouldn’t back off!”

“Once again, you hurt Cassidy. Do you know how much I hate you for everything you’ve put her through over the years?” I stepped closer so our chests were touching and lowered my voice so it was practically a growl. “You let her get beat. You almost let her die by their hands. You broke her heart over and over again because she found someone she wanted to be with. And when you weren’t getting any, you broke her heart another way by breaking whatever fucked-up bond the two of y’all had by bringing home another girl . . . forcing her to leave . . . and almost letting her die again.” I backed up a step when his body started vibrating. I wasn’t finished with him yet, but I wasn’t about to get in a fistfight with him out in public. “I never understood why she needed you in her life, and it pissed me off more than I could ever care to explain. But I don’t have to worry about it now; she finally sees you, Ty. So, I guess I can thank you for that at least. I’ll never have to watch her run to you again. Thank God.”

“She’s mine. She’ll always be mine. You weren’t there for everything in her life. You didn’t take care of her . . . keep her alive. I did!” He hissed, “I’m what’s best for her. I’m what’s safe and familiar and comfortable to her. Cassi will always come back to me. I look forward to the day she runs from you to me. And trust me, that day will come. When it does, I’m not letting her go again.” Before I could speak, he continued. “So enjoy her while you have her, because in the end, it’s me and her.”

Screw being in public. My hands curled into fists and I took a step toward him but Ethan stepped up and pushed me back, saying, “Let it go, Gage. Just let it go.”

“It’ll always be me and Cassidy. You’ve got a temper; you think with her life she’s going to want to be with a hothead just waiting to explode? Or that I would
let
her go into a life where she would get the same treatment she had for twelve years?”

“I would never touch her that way and you know that!” I shrugged Ethan off and stepped back up to my cousin, grabbing the collar of his shirt in my fists.

He glanced down to my shaking hands and scoffed. “Actually, I don’t, and she has no idea what she’s getting into with you. The minute she catches a glimpse of your anger—because we both know she didn’t see anything that morning at your place—she’ll be gone and I’ll be there to hold her and take her away from it, like I always have.”

“And let me guess, you’re gonna try to make that happen again, am I right?”

He tapped my clenched fist and Ethan put his hand on my shoulder to pull me back again. “Like I said . . . temper.” With a twisted smirk, Tyler pulled my hands off, turned, and headed back the way he’d come.

“Seriously, Gage, no hard feelings or anything, but your cousin is a dick,” Ethan said as he slapped me on the back. “C’mon, we gotta get to class.”

I watched as Tyler rounded the corner, then checked my watch. “Nah, I’m gonna skip today.”

“Need to go unwind? We can grab a beer.”

“I’m gonna get Cass. Catch you later, yeah?”

Ethan smirked. “Yeah, I bet Cassi is
much
better at helping you calm down than a beer.”

“Smartass.”

“Have fun
unwinding,
Gage.” He winked as he started backward, then suddenly stopped. “On second thought, Jackie’s already home waiting for me . . . unwinding sounds like a damn good idea right about now.” He grinned wickedly and grabbed his keys out of his pocket, heading toward his car down the street.

I checked my watch again and took off for my truck, hoping I made it to Starbucks before Cassidy started walking home.

C
ASSIDY

“
L
ORI, YOU OKAY?”
How could she walk out of the bathroom smiling? She’d just puked.

“I’m great! Sorry I had to run out in the middle of taking the order though.”

“No worries, do you want to go home now, and I’ll work your last two hours?” I really was exhausted; Gage and I had hardly slept that week—not that I was complaining—and I was looking forward to getting a nap in before he got home in a few hours.

“No way! You didn’t even take your lunch, and don’t think I didn’t realize you clocked out for it and continued to work. Seriously, Cassi, I’m fine. Go home! I’ll see you next week.” She popped a piece of gum in her mouth and started rocking out to the song playing throughout the café as she went about washing her hands before fixing the pastry case.

Pregnant women. I swear, they’re crazy.

I glanced over at one of our newer guys and grimaced. He made perfect drinks, but I made a mental note to never put him on bar again during a Friday morning since he tended to take his time on each one. This was only my second time working with him, but one of the other shift leaders said he’d done bar really well a few times during the afternoon, then again last weekend; however, I’d had to take over for him four different times when we got slammed.

“Hey, Jesse, want me to get you caught up before I go?”

His almost-black eyes widened slightly with relief, but he kept his face composed. “You can say it, Cassi, I suck at this.”

“You don’t.” I laughed and moved in front of the bar where the two espresso machines sat side by side, steaming milk on each machine and getting espresso shots ready as well. “You’ve only been on bar a few times and it’s been during dead hours. First few Monday and Friday mornings will be a little overwhelming, but you’ll get it.”

Jesse blew out a deep breath and grabbed two of the cups to make tea. “And there you go putting me to shame in no time at all.”

“Jesse,” I said softly, and caught his eye before turning to grab the shots and dump them into cups and start new ones, “if I’ve been embarrassing you because of this, let me know. I really was just trying to help; I know how stressful it can be.”

A deep laugh rumbled out of his chest and he smiled crookedly at me. “You’re not embarrassing me. I feel like I’m just makin’ an ass outta myself in front of you.”

“Uh, you’re not. You’re learning, like we all had to.” I called out three drinks for the café and gave two to the girl at the drive-thru register as Jesse handed her the two teas. His arm brushed mine so I took an unnecessary step away to grab the three milk pitchers and clean them out.

Jesse began making the last two drinks sitting on the bar and I purposefully took my time cleaning and restocking the area so I could watch to see if there was anything I could pick out that he could change to help on his times. Unfortunately, there wasn’t. He just needed to speed up, and now that he had all the drinks down, I had no doubt he would. He called out the two drinks, cleaned up, and for the third time since he’d started making those last two drinks his right hand went down to his leg and touched it quickly before he sighed heavily and kept wiping down the bar.

“Your phone vibrating?”

He glanced over his shoulder with that crooked smile that was really too adorable for his own good. “That obvious, huh?”

I shrugged. “Maybe I’m just observant.”

“Maybe . . . or maybe you’re just checking me out.”

My eyes widened and my stupid cheeks instantly filled with heat. “Uh, no. Definitely not.”

“Not like I haven’t been doing the same to you.”

“Jesse . . .” I began to tell him about Gage but his grin and laughing eyes fell as his hand went back to his leg. “You know I don’t mind if you check your phone as long as it doesn’t interfere with taking or filling orders. If you want to run to the back and take a ten-minute break, I’ll cover.”

He glanced down to his thick-banded watch. “Cassi, you were supposed to be off five minutes ago.”

“Well, whoever it is obviously needs to talk to you if they’ve called you four times in a row. I’m fine, go take a break.”

Jesse shook his head and tried to force a smile but didn’t succeed. “I’m sorry, but I know who it is and it’s most likely an emergency. I won’t take my full break, I’ll be right back, I swear.”

I finished stocking the bar, checked the whipped creams and syrups to make sure they weren’t going to be running out any time soon, and stocked the cups just as Jenn came back in.

“So sorry! There was a line at the bank that took forever. I’m here now, go home. And Lori told me about your lunch, Cassi.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You should actually be
taking
your lunch, not just saying you are.”

“They were slammed all morning, it wouldn’t have been right to leave.” I punched in my numbers to clock out and leaned over to her. “Hey, I sent Jesse on a ten; his phone kept going off in his pocket and he looked nervous about it. I mean, it was on vibrate and all, but every time it went off, his face just dropped and got really pale. Whoever it was called four times in a row that I noticed. They could have been calling for longer. He said he knew who was calling and it was probably an emergency. He’s in the back right now and I’ll see if he’s good before I head out, but I just wanted to warn you. I don’t know what the emergency is or if it’s something that’ll make him have to leave; in case it is I didn’t want you to be blindsided.”

“Oh, that sucks.” She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked over the schedule to see who was coming in next. “Hmm, well if he has to, at least we have two more people coming in within the hour.” Jenn looked quickly to the door that led to the back, then leaned closer. “He’s seriously hot though, right?”

I untied my apron and moved it over my head. “Jesse? Yeah, I guess.” No
I guess
about that guy; he was some serious eye candy. But when compared to Gage? There really was no competition. Jesse was probably a little shorter than Ty and had naturally olive-tan skin with eyes so dark they were almost black, matching his short hair. Like Ty, though, he looked like he’d spent a lot of time at the gym. And while it looked good on him, especially in the white button-down shirt he was wearing with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, I preferred Gage’s longer muscles from working on the ranch all his life rather than the compacted ones the guys got from bulking up in a gym.

“You guess? Oh, Cassi, I know you’re taken, but, girl, I know you’re not blind. Now go see if he’s coming back, then get your ass home.”

“Yeah, yeah . . . I’m leaving.” I walked to the back and tried not to make it obvious I was walking silently so I could hear Jesse’s conversation.

“Do you need me to come home? . . . You sure? . . . Yeah, okay . . . Don’t worry about it, I’ll get another job . . . No, I don’t want you to worry, I’m serious, I’m gonna take care of you, all right? . . . All right, love you too, see you when I get home.” As I silently rounded the corner, Jesse dropped to the chair at the desk and let his head fall into his hands. “Son of a bitch.”

I cleared my throat and felt guilty for eavesdropping when he spun around quickly. “Everything okay, or do you need to leave?”

He stood and shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks for giving me that break.”

“Of course . . . Uh, Jesse? Are we going to have to look for someone else to work mornings?” When his expression turned to complete confusion, I continued. “I heard you say you were going to get another job?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. I just need to get an additional job for a while.” His face was so tortured I had the oddest urge to hug him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No—” His phone started vibrating again and he dragged his hand roughly over his head before answering it. “Yeah, Ma? . . . No, that’s fine, I’ll pick some up on my way home . . . do you need anything else? . . . Okay, if you do just call and leave a message, I’m about to go back to work . . . Love you too.” Jesse sighed deeply and glanced up at me from under thick lashes as he tapped his phone in his hand a few times. “My mom is dying. She’s got cancer and now it’s just spreading real fast. Dad was always a douche, but as soon as she found out she had cancer over a year ago, he bailed and took all the money. She hadn’t worked a day since they married and couldn’t really start back up then. I’d been in the air force for almost four years when we found out. I kept sending her all my money, but she can’t even take care of herself anymore. So when it came time to reenlist just a month and a half later, I decided not to and moved back. I’ve been going to the police academy at night and have been working a few odds-and-ends jobs, but with her bills my money ran out kinda quick.” He looked around, embarrassed, and took another deep breath in. “So here I am. Really I would have taken any job that paid somewhat decent and had benefits, but it’s not cutting it.” He lifted up the phone as if to say that’s what the call had been about. “I’m about to graduate from the academy, but then I still have to apply to departments and who knows how long it’ll take to get hired on somewhere. So, as you now know, I gotta find something to go with Starbucks for now.”