Authors: Molly McAdams
Before I could let myself get even more upset over this, I’d forced myself into the bathroom, gotten ready for bed, and walked into the bedroom, fully prepared to leave it and go to the other one. But Gage was sitting up in bed staring at me with that odd expression again, and when he noticed my body angled toward the door, he crawled off the bed, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back onto it with him, curling my small frame into his large one. With a few soft kisses to my neck and shoulder, he slowly slipped into sleep, and after a couple hours of not even being able to think of going to sleep, I quietly snuck out of bed and into the living room. I hadn’t moved since.
My phone vibrated and I frowned as I glanced down at it. It was almost three in the morning; who on earth was texting me this early? When I saw Tyler’s name, I almost didn’t read it, but with nothing else to do, and seeing as it was only a text, I opened it anyway.
TYLER
Cassi, are you up?! Has your mom called???
Mom? Why would she be calling me? I haven’t talked to her in . . . in . . . hell, I can’t even remember. Was it my birthday right after I moved here?
Um . . . no? Why?
TYLER
Can I call?
I skipped a step and called him instead; he answered on the first ring.
“She and Jeff haven’t called you?” was his greeting.
“No,” I said softly, and walked into the guest room to further prevent waking Gage. “What’s going on, Ty? I know we haven’t talked in months, but you know I don’t talk to them. Like, ever.”
“Cassi, sweetheart, my dad just called . . . their house caught fire. So bad it spread to the houses on each side.”
“Oh God! Ty, did it get to your parents’ house too?” There was only one house between mine and Ty’s; I prayed it didn’t get that far.
“No, no. The firefighters got it contained before it could. It didn’t do too much damage to the houses on either side, but, Cassi, your house is gone.”
A gasp escaped my throat, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why . . . other than shock that a fire could spread so quickly that a house that size would just be gone. Then again, there was a hell of a lot of liquor in that house.
“Are you okay, sweetheart? Dad said they tried calling your mom but she . . .”
“Ty,” I said when he didn’t continue, “what aren’t you telling me?”
“Her car was still there.” I could hear him shutting a door and heard the sound of jingling keys. “I just packed a bag, I’m on my way to come get you. Can you pack for me real quick, Cass?”
“Wait, pack? Why?”
“Cassi, trust me, I hated your mom and Jeff just as much as you, but your house was just burned to the ground, and as far as anyone knows, they were both in there. For multiple reasons, the main being you’re their only family, you need to be there.”
“Oh, right.” My voice sounded soft but was strangely calm. “I’ll start packing right away. Just call when you’re outside. I don’t want to wake Gage.”
“You—what?” He sounded completely baffled, but I didn’t have time to get into it right now.
“Just call me, Ty, I gotta pack.”
After ending the call, I flew into action, thanking God we’d kept all my clothes in the spare bedroom. I don’t know why I never moved them into Gage’s room; it was just something that never came up. Once my bag was stuffed, I tiptoed back into Gage’s room and into the bathroom, grabbing all the toiletries I would need for a while. Ty called seconds after I’d zipped my bag shut, and within another two minutes, I was in his Jeep.
“Dad got us a flight that’s leaving in a few hours,” he said quietly as he turned onto another street. “You okay, Cassi?”
“I’m fine, I feel—” I cut myself off, not wanting him to know what I’d been thinking since he told me about the fire, but then his hand curled around mine and I couldn’t hold it back. “I feel guilty. Because I should be upset, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why, but, Ty, I’m . . . I’m . . . I feel—like it’s justice. I feel like I’m getting some sort of sick revenge, and that house, God, that house is gone, Ty. There are so many bad memories there.”
“I know.” His hand squeezed mine as he drove us toward the airport. “Don’t feel guilty, Cassi, I know she’s your mother, but she’s not your mom. She hasn’t done anything in over a dozen years to deserve your love or your sympathy.”
“I just feel like I should be upset by this somehow, but I can’t find it in me. Not right now anyway.”
Tyler nodded like he understood, and his voice dropped lower. “How’s your eye?”
“It’s fine. Really, it didn’t hurt much at all, it was just the shock of it happening, and seeing Gage like that was ju—” I stopped quickly.
“And why didn’t you want him to wake up? You didn’t want to tell him you’re leaving?” When I didn’t respond he nodded again and stayed quiet for a few easy minutes before adding quietly, “I know I’ve fucked up bad, sweetheart, but I have
never
closed that window. Since we were seven, that window has been open, and it will always be open. No matter what.”
My heart clenched. “Not now, but sometime during this trip we need to talk about what went wrong with us. But I’ll always love you, Ty.”
“And I’ll always love you.”
G
AGE
I
DIDN’T HAVE
to open my eyes to know Cassidy wasn’t in the bed with me when I woke up. Not only was my arm not touching anything but cool sheets, but everything
Cassidy
was just missing. Rolling out of bed, I hit the restroom, then stalked quickly out to the living room. Did she not feel comfortable sleeping next to me after what happened last night? I’d been kicking myself all the way home and after we’d finally gotten here. I couldn’t believe she’d agreed to come back with me, but even with that, she still looked at me with so much fear I felt sick, even now.
I paused only momentarily when I found the living room and kitchen empty, and went straight to the spare bedroom. After a quick look to see the bed made and no Cassidy, I shut the door and went back to my room for my phone. It was only then I saw the note underneath it.
Gage—
Please understand, I have to do this. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll call you when I can. I’m sorry for leaving while you were sleeping, but I knew you’d try to stop me. Forgive me.
I love you. Always.
Cassidy
She left. Cass left me.
I grabbed the lamp that was sitting on the nightstand and launched it across the room, listening to it shatter when it hit the wall. Stop her?! Of course I’d have stopped her! I couldn’t live without her, I wouldn’t have let her go. Glancing at my phone, I realized she must have turned my alarm off too, because it was already a little past five in the morning. I was supposed to have taken her to work already.
Screw this, I wouldn’t have let her go if I was awake, and I’m not letting her go this way either
.
I know I scared her last night, but it was an accident and even with her past I know we can get through this.
Pulling on the first clothes I found, I started to head out when I had another thought. I walked into our bathroom and had to pull in a few deep breaths through my nose when I noticed her stuff missing. Turning, I walked to the spare room and had to grip the frame of the closet door when I realized she’d cleared out most of her clothes.
“
Damn it!
” I roared as I raced out of the house and to my truck.
I was at Starbucks in no time and rushed in without even turning my truck off.
“Jesse!”
He turned, his face clearly confused. “Gage, man, what’s going on?”
“Is Cassidy here?” I asked breathlessly even as I rounded the corner to go into the back.
“No, that’s why I’m asking you what’s going on. She called about forty-five minutes ago, said she was leaving for California with some guy named Tyler. Do you know who he is and why the hell she’d just up and go to California?”
That stopped me dead. Cass hadn’t just left me. She’d left me for Tyler and she’d gone back to California. To what? His parents’? Why wouldn’t she have just stayed with him? None of that mattered right now; I felt like I was going to be sick again at the thought of losing Cassidy for good this time, and once again to my cousin. “You’re sure?”
“What?”
“Jesse, are you sure that’s what she said?”
“Yeah, now what the hell’s going on?”
I couldn’t answer at first, I just sat there staring at nothing. “It’s just what she told you; Cassidy—Cassi’s gone.” God, she was really gone. I wanted to fly to California and beg her to come back here with me, but she’d made her choice, and honestly, I’d had Cassidy leave me too many times for me to believe she’d come back to me again. A part of me hoped she wouldn’t, because I knew in the end she’d just end up leaving again. Just like Tyler said she would, and I’d be in the same fuckin’ heartbroken spot I was always in.
“Well, why did she go?” Jesse no longer looked confused; he was glaring accusingly.
“I don’t know,” I called over my shoulder as I turned to leave, “she told you more than me.”
Before I got all the way out the door my phone started ringing, and I almost threw it across the parking lot when I saw Tyler’s name.
“What?! Christ, Ty, I swear if you called me to throw all this in my face, we are done. Forever, you got that?”
“I’m not, and I don’t have a lot of time, man, Cassi’s gonna come back from the bathroom and getting food and she’s gonna be pissed if she knows I called you.” He let out a hard, fast breath and started mumbling to himself, “I can’t believe I’m about to do this for you. I can’t fuckin’ believe it . . .” Then with a deep breath in he said quickly and quietly, “Look, Gage, by the way you answered the phone, you’ve already figured out she’s gone. So I don’t have to tell you that part, but I don’t want you to think she just left you. My dad called me early this morning to tell me Cassi’s house burned to the ground, and as far as everyone can tell, her mom and Jeff were in the house still.”
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath. But if that happened, why didn’t she wake me? Yeah, there were still a couple weeks of school left before graduation, but I would’ve dropped everything to have been there for her.
“Yeah, look, Cassi isn’t torn up about it, but she needs to be in California right now. I didn’t know until I was on my way that she wasn’t going to wake you, and I’ve tried to talk to her about it but every time I do she starts to slip away. You know what I’m talking about when I say that, right?”
I did. Her mask. My least favorite thing in the world. “Yeah, I know.”
“Bro, as much as I hate it . . . swear to God I hate you two together more than almost anything, but I hate seeing Cassi like this more. It was worse when we got back from the ranch last year, like a hundred times worse, but right now she’s so focused on numbing herself because of what happened last night that she’s able to hide a lot of what she’s feeling right now.” He paused for an intense few heartbeats before continuing more slowly. “Even with that, she’s miserable. She’s wearing one of your shirts, Gage, and every five minutes like clockwork she smells the collar; I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. I’m sure her leaving without saying a word killed you, that’s why I called—”
“She left a note,” I interrupted, and pulled the small piece of paper out of my back pocket to read it to Tyler.
“God, Cassi, that made it so much worse than it had to be,” Tyler mumbled, more to himself than anything. “Listen, I was already thinking this, and after hearing what she wrote, that’s classic Cassi. I know what she’s doing, Gage. She’s scared; this is what she does when she runs away. She’s not running from your relationship, and I don’t know if she would have even left period if I hadn’t called about her mom’s house. So just focus on that; she’s not running from you, she’s running from her past and fears, ’kay?”
“I don’t know, that’s not what it feels like.” I climbed into my truck and rested my head against the hand that was gripping the steering wheel. “You called it, Ty, you said I would do something like this to her.”
“Gage, I was just trying to scare you off. I know you wouldn’t touch her. I was pissed that you had her and . . . I don’t know, I wanted you to think you would lose her.”
“And now I have.”
“You haven’t. Look, last night, I was all for making you feel like shit even though I know you had no idea that was Cassi standing behind you. I know you wouldn’t hurt her; you’re probably the only guy I would ever trust with her,” he admitted reluctantly. “So believe me when I say I’m not trying to make you feel bad about this next part. You know what happened to her; you don’t know the extent, but you know. Imagine having her past, then seeing your past come out of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
My breath came out in a huff and I clenched the steering wheel harder.
“Cassi knows you’d never intentionally hurt her; I can see her struggling with what she knows and what she saw for that split second. I think she’s running away just while she tries to work through that, Gage. I saw the way you were beating yourself up before she asked me to leave the room, which means she saw it too. I know Cassi better than anyone. I have no doubt that what’s going through her mind is that her struggle to get through this is hurting you more. She probably thinks running away is what you want her to do.”
“How the hell could she think that I’d want her to leave?” My voice was shaking and low, but if I tried to push harder, I’d break. My girl was gone, and while I wanted to believe Tyler, I didn’t know if I could after all the times he’d screwed Cassi and me over.
“This
is
Cassi we’re talking about,” Tyler reasoned. “She’ll probably be back soon; I should go before she catches me on the phone.”
“I can’t lose her, Tyler.”
He groaned out a breath. “Yeah, I know. Just give her a little time; when she slips away, she’s usually gone for a few days at least, a week at most. You’ve never seen her like that because when I brought her to Texas, a couple times when she began to slip away, I was able to remind her we were away from her mom and Jeff. The only time she’s actually
gone away
since we’ve been here was when you moved out, so you weren’t there for that either. That was the worst I’ve ever seen it, and this one has to do with you too, so it might take a while. Don’t give up on her, and I’ll keep you updated, all right?”
“Why are you doing this? You’ve been trying to come between us this whole time, so why back off now?”
He was silent for a second. “I can’t lose her either. And last night, it finally hit me that I was about to. If nothing else, she’ll always be my best friend and I will always take care of her. Giving her ice packs at night or helping her not make the biggest mistake of her life by running from you—either way, I’ll take care of her.”
“Thanks, Tyler, I appreciate it.”
“Gotta go, bro.”
“Keep her safe for me, yeah?”
Tyler grunted in agreement. “Always. She loves you, Gage. She’ll come back to you.”
I knew she loved me, but nothing could convince me right then that she would come back to me. My head slowly shook back and forth as I dropped my phone onto the seat next to me.
C
ASSIDY
“
T
HIS IS JUST
so—I don’t even know,” Tyler said with an exasperated sigh.
“It’s weird, right?”
Weird
didn’t even begin to describe it. It’s like I was looking at some stranger’s smoldering lot and melted Lexus, which now resembled a marshmallow that had caught on fire, not my mom’s. Other than that sick sense of relief, I felt nothing. No pain, no heartache, no longing.
According to the investigators, the fire started in the bar area, which wasn’t a surprise. As I said, that house had just as much liquor as an actual bar, and if Mom and Jeff were in there like the investigators believed, that settled that. Jeff smoked a lot, but being the rich prick he was, he liked smoking expensive loose tobacco out of a pipe like he was freaking Hugh Hefner, so he was always lighting up matches to take a couple puffs. Spill some Everclear, Jeff’s spirit of choice, and try to light his pipe next to that . . . and
poof
. There goes the bar and house.
We watched as a couple men and one woman walked cautiously around the ashes, searching through piles of brick and avoiding support beams that were still standing. Tyler wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me close into his chest as one of the men called out to the others. They all slowly made their way to him and peered closely for a few moments, called an officer over to them, and showed him whatever it was they’d found. I held my breath and Tyler’s arms tightened as the officer spoke to a detective and that detective walked over to where we were standing with Ty’s parents and half the neighborhood.
“Miss Jameson?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Detective Sanders, could we talk somewhere a little more private? Or if you would prefer we can speak in my car or at the station.”
“Why don’t we take this into the house, Cassidy?” Tyler’s dad, Jim, suggested.
Detective Sanders looked at a notepad quickly and clicked on a pen. “And you are?”
“This is James Bradley. The Bradleys are practically family and their house is just right there,” I answered, and pointed in the direction of their house.
“I’ll follow you.” Detective Sanders swept an arm out at the same time he motioned to another man wearing a suit who I had noticed watching me and Ty for some time now. I did a double take when I finally looked at his face. I would have sworn I knew him, I just couldn’t think of how. The man followed us and was introduced as Sanders’s partner, Detective Green, once we were in the house. “Miss Jameson, would you prefer to do this alone?”
“No, as I said, they’re practically family. And please, call me Cassidy.”
Sanders nodded and accepted a chair from Ty’s mom. “Cassidy, I know you already went over this when you arrived on scene, but to confirm what was reported to me, where were you this morning around midnight?”
“I was at my house in Austin, Texas.”
“And what brought you to Mission Viejo?”
“Tyler”—I waved over to Ty, who was sitting practically underneath me—“texted me close to three this morning, err . . . central time, asked if I’d heard from Mom or Jeff. I told him I hadn’t and after I called him he told me his dad had just called him saying there was a fire. He explained everything and said that he was coming to pick me up, we got on the first flight here, and here we are.”
Sanders nodded and scratched his cheek before flipping his notepad shut. “Cassidy, unfortunately it looks like we have some bad news.” He paused for a moment and looked up from his hands into my eyes. “The investigators seem to have found two bodies under some of the debris. They are beyond recognition at this point, so we’ll have to run some tests to confirm that they are your mother and stepfather. Unless you knew anyone else who was staying there, it looks like once the records come back, we’ll find them to be matches.”
I nodded and leaned into Tyler’s side when he wrapped his arm around me.
“Bradley family, would you please give us a few minutes?” he suddenly asked when Detective Green leaned forward to mumble something.