“Tag.” I am at the ropes now, so close I can hear the smack of flesh on flesh, hear Ray groan. But my scream is swallowed by the cheering crowd.
“Fight, dammit,” Tag bellows, and knees Ray in the stomach. “Why won’t you fight?”
“Because it will kill Sia if I do,” Ray mutters.
Tag backs off, panting, and snorts a laugh. “You couldn’t possibly hurt her any more than you already did.”
Ray wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, and it comes away covered in blood. “I was trying to protect her.”
A fight official clamps a hand on my shoulder and tries to pull me away, but I won’t let go of the ropes. Even if they won’t stop, I can’t leave them like this.
With a howl, Tag launches himself again at Ray, this time sweeping his leg. Ray goes down. On purpose. I know this because I’ve seen him defend this move a hundred times. If he doesn’t want to go down, he won’t.
The moment his back hits the concrete, Tag is on him, pummeling him with elbows and punches. The crowd goes quiet. There is no sport in beating a man who is down, especially when he’s made it clear he won’t defend himself.
“Enough, Tag. He’s down.” I slide a leg through the ropes, but one of the fight officials pulls me back.
“Rules say no one goes in and no one goes out until someone yields.”
“You don’t understand.” I pull at the official’s blue shirt. “He won’t yield. That’s not who he is.”
“Nothing I can do.”
“Fuck you.” I shove him aside and step into the ring.
“Tag. Stop. Please. You’re going to kill him.” But Tag doesn’t stop. He sees me, but he doesn’t. Eyes glazed with bloodlust, he swings his arm back and pushes me away.
I stagger and hit a massive chest. “It’s okay,” Torment says. “I got this.”
The crowd boos. The fight officials holler. But Torment stalks across the ring, grabs Tag from behind, and rips him away. The fight zone descends into chaos. People shout and curse. Rampage joins Torment, and they drag Tag away. I run over to Ray. He has pulled himself to sitting and is leaning against one of the pillars. His face is cut and one eye is swollen shut.
“Oh God. Ray? Are you okay?” I kneel beside him, running my hands over his body, checking for breaks.
“I’m fine. Just go.”
“You’re not fine. Look at you. I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“Go, Sia. Please.”
He winces when I touch his forearm, and I suck in a breath. “At least let me get the medic.”
Drawing in a deep breath, he shouts, “Sia. Go.”
His words echo through the parking lot, stilling the crowd. Shaking, I push myself to my feet and take one step back and then another.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’m gone.”
Don’t go
Sunday morning after the fight, I go to Tag’s apartment, determined to find out what the hell has been going on with him. I push the buzzer. No answer. I call and text his cell. No answer. I go around the back and find his car parked in its spot. Then I return to the front and hang around until one of the tenants who knows me lets me in.
Minutes later, I’m banging on Tag’s door. I shout and holler that I’ll keep it up and disturb his neighbors until he lets me in. Tag has been brought up too well to allow me to disturb the neighbors. It only takes a few minutes before he opens the door.
Before he can protest, I push my way inside. Then I freeze. Usually highly organized and meticulously clean, Tag’s apartment looks like a hurricane just blew through. His clothes are everywhere. Papers, books, and old CDs are strewn across every surface. But it isn’t the mess that makes me gasp and step back, but the photos pinned to every wall.
Women. Young. Sixteen, maybe eighteen. Their faces and bodies battered and bruised.
“I didn’t want you to see this,” he says, his voice flat. “I didn’t want you to know about it, especially now.”
“Who are they? What happened to them?”
Tag sits heavily on his couch. He’s wearing a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, a pen stuck behind his ear. His right hand is bandaged over his knuckles—knuckles that hit my Ray.
“The same thing that happened to you.” He twists his hands in his lap, then meets my gaze. “By the same man.”
My stomach clenches and my mouth goes dry. “Luke? He raped all those women?”
“I’m pretty sure it was him. Some were before you and some after.”
I sink down onto his paper-strewn couch. “How did you get involved?”
Tag rubs his hands down his thighs, just like our father does when he’s stressed. “The night you met Ray, I was assigned a new case. The victim was an eighteen-year-old student he’d met at a bar—he’d drugged her drink, but she was so drunk she threw it up when she went to the bathroom and he didn’t know. She remembered most of the details but not his name, and filed a police report. At first I didn’t know it was him. But then she started getting the threats…”
He rubs his thighs harder now and stares at the floor. “God, Sia. It was so hard to watch. I knew exactly what she was going through. So many times I wanted to talk to you about it, but I didn’t want to put you through it all again. It took a long time to trace the threats, but when we did and I realized it was him, it was worse than I imagined. Our local DA said there wasn’t enough evidence to run the case without a witness, and the girl changed her mind and refused to testify. Not only that, but at the time of the incident, he was out on bail after being arrested last year on a similar case in a different jurisdiction.”
“Oh God.”
“I’ve been working to help build a case against him. I reopened old cases where he was named as a suspect. I visited the victims and begged them to tell their stories. No one would. Some were too afraid. Some had moved on. Some had been threatened. Even when I told them just one victim testifying could make the difference, they wouldn’t do it. And I didn’t blame them. I understood. But I became totally obsessed. Even though Ray went after him and did what I’d always wanted to do, I wanted real justice. I wanted him behind bars. I told Ray to make sure he left him alive, so I could put him away.”
Tag sighs and shoves a pile of paper aside to sit beside me. “I finally found someone who would testify and his trial is scheduled to start next week. But a few days ago, she backed out. We’ve built a good case on circumstantial evidence, but the DA is reluctant to proceed without a witness. When I found out he might walk, I just lost it.”
My heart aches for Tag. He is everything that is honorable and good about the system, and I’ve asked him to carry this burden far too long. It has weighed us down, held us back, prevented us from being who we are meant to be. We have waited a long time for the justice he craves, the justice that will set us free. I reach out and squeeze his hand.
“One victim or one survivor?”
Tag’s face crumples. “You were always a survivor, but you don’t have to do this. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be involved. I don’t want you to have to relive it again or be ripped apart by the defense team. If they let him go, I’ll find another way.”
“If it’s not too late, I want to do it. It’s time for us to be free.”
He scrubs his hand over his face. “I can’t…I can’t let them put you up there. They’ll destroy you.”
“They can try.” A smile tugs at my lips. “But after what I’ve been through, they won’t succeed.”
“You’re the bravest person I know.” He chokes on his words. Tag is so not a sentimental guy. “I’ve never met anyone with so much courage. You could have let him ruin your life, but you didn’t. You found a new way forward. And now, after you’ve just been through it all again, you’re willing to try and bring him down.”
“That’s ’cause I have you standing behind me.” Something niggles at the back of my mind and I frown. “That’s my only worry. You may be considered a witness to the crime. Wouldn’t you get in trouble for not reporting it? And didn’t you have to report the conflict when you found out it was him? What’ll happen to you if I come forward?”
He stands and walks over to the wall of pictures. “I would willingly give up my career if it meant even one woman would be spared what you went through. I would be proud to go to jail for it. Maybe once the DA knows why we made the decision we did, I’ll get off with just a warning. But even if I don’t, I won’t let you stand up there alone. If the DA agrees, I’m going to testify too. The truth will be out there, and the lawyers can sort out whether our testimony stands or not.”
I join him at the wall and wrap my arms around him. “We’re going to do this, Tag. After all these years, we’re going to be free. Together.”
“You’re going to do it,” he says. “I’m just along for the ride.”
* * *
Monday morning I walk into Torment’s office.
Without knocking.
Torment looks up and scowls. I meet his scowl with one of my own.
“I’m taking the job managing the Redemption studio.” I fold my arms and lean against the wall. “I’ll start on Friday, after I take care of a few legal matters. I’m keeping the team. I expect you to leave me alone with respect to business decisions unless I ask for your help. That includes hiring, firing, selecting and ordering equipment, marketing, and decor.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Decor?”
“That’s right. I’ll be hanging paintings to showcase local artists on the walls. No car race murals allowed.”
Torment’s eyes twinkle with amusement, and he leans back in his chair and laces his hands behind his head. “Anything else?”
“I’ll need a few months off about seven months from now. I’ll make sure there is someone fully trained to run things in my absence. Nonnegotiable.”
His gaze drops to my stomach and he raises an eyebrow. But ha-ha, Torment. There is nothing to see yet.
“I choose the name,” he says. My heart skips a beat because for a moment I think he’s figured out my little secret, but then I realize he’s talking about the studio.
“Not if it sucks.”
Torment chuckles. “Redemption Ink?”
“No.”
“Torment’s Tats?”
“Definitely not.”
“Forbearance?”
I sigh. “Is that a joke?”
“Yes. You’re almost as difficult to handle as Makayla. But maybe I don’t need to be reminded about it every day. How about Phoenix, since you’re starting new?”
“Hmmmm.”
“Phoenix it is.” He slams his hand on his desk, and I jump. “I’ll get my people on that right away. Look for your new sign tomorrow. But I have a condition.” He strokes his chin and studies me for a long moment. I take deep breaths and pray my bravado doesn’t give out. This was just supposed to be a quick in and out. My nerves are already stretched to breaking.
“What is it?”
“The first set of paintings to go up will be yours.”
My heart sinks. “That might take a while.”
“As long as it takes. But I’m hoping the blank wall will be a motivator.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiles an entirely benign, un-Torment-like smile. “Took you long enough. I was beginning to think I might actually have to hire one of the people I interviewed.”
“I had a life to sort out first.”
“You have a man to sort out next,” he says. “He’s taking out his frustrations on my fighters. I had to arrange for an ambulance to be on permanent standby.”
For the first time since I walked into his office, I manage a smile. “That’s on the agenda.”
* * *
The next day, I go to Ray’s apartment. My heart drums in my chest as I stand outside his door. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if I don’t get a chance to make the speech I’ve had running through my head for the last few days? What if he doesn’t want the baby?
Taking a deep breath, I push the what-ifs away. No matter what happens, I’ll survive. And once I testify against Luke, I’ll really be able to move on. I’ll live the life I’ve always wanted to live. I just hope I don’t have to live it alone.
I knock.
Silence.
Then, footsteps.
My heart pounds when the door swings open.
Oh God. He’s so banged up—black eye, swollen cheek, tiny bandages on his temple and chin. Instinctively, I reach out to touch him and he steps back. Away.
Swallowing my fears, I stiffen my spine and push past him into the apartment. “I need to speak to you. I’ll take five minutes of your time and then I’ll leave.”
He nods and closes the door, turning to lean against it, his thick arms folded. “Okay.”
“Okay.” My hands clench and unclench by my sides. He’s wearing the sexiest damn pajama pants I’ve ever seen, navy blue with the Redemption logo on the side, tight in all the right places, and nothing else.
The nothing else is distracting. I feast my gaze on the hard planes of his chest, the solid ripple of muscle in his abs. So delicious I want to lick him all over.
“Sia?” His soft voice draws me away from that fantasy.
My cheeks flame. “Sorry.”
“You want a drink?” He peels himself away from the door and brushes past me as he heads toward the kitchen. My body heats, trembles at his touch, and I follow him across the floor.
“I’m not drinking anymore.”
Ray pauses beside the fridge. Frowns. “Water?”
“Sure. Water is good.”
“You want to eat something?” He fills a water glass from the tap and hands it to me, the slight touch of his finger sending a zing of electricity through me.
“I’m…uh…not really eating anymore either.”
He stills, then plucks the water glass from my hand and places it on the counter. “What’s going on?”
My heart bangs in my chest, and I curl my fingers around the cool concrete counter. “I…I’m…pregnant,” I blurt out. “That night in the rain. I missed my pill the next day, and then I was in the hospital, and by the time I told them, it was too late to catch up.”
His eyes darken almost to black and a sliver of panic winds its way through my heart. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I want this baby. After what happened to me, I never thought I’d be able to have children, and to me it’s an incredible gift.”
He stares, silent, unmoving. His face gives nothing away. Although I had prepared myself for rejection, I can’t help my heart from sinking through the floor, nor can I help the ball of sorrow from lodging itself in my chest.
“I’m not asking you to be involved unless you want to be,” I say quickly, desperate now to get out. “I’ve taken the job at Redemption, so I’ll have enough to get by, and my parents decided to downsize, so they don’t need financial help.” I’m babbling, but I can’t stop. “I just…thought it was the right thing to do to let you know. I love you. More than anything I want to have this baby with you. I’m not afraid anymore. Not of you. Not of your job. Not of me. Jess made me realize I’m a survivor. And tomorrow, I’m going to testify against Luke at his trial and I’ll really be able to put the past behind me.”
He still hasn’t moved from the kitchen. A sob wells up in my throat and I turn for the door. “Good-bye, Ray.”
“Don’t go.”
“What did you say?”
“You don’t go. You don’t leave. You don’t walk away.” His voice, deep and raw, slides over me like a warm blanket. Hope flutters in my chest, and I turn around and find myself in his arms.
“Did you really think I would let you leave?” He kisses my forehead, then cups my jaw in his hand, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
“You did before.”
“Biggest fucking mistake of my life.” He teases my mouth open, grazing his tongue along the seam of my lips. My fingers curl into his shoulders, and I lean up for more. He tastes lemony and sweet. He tastes of Ray.
I arch closer to him, my body coming alive at the feel of those hard muscles against me. I want him so badly, I can barely breathe, and yet I need to clear the air.
“What I said at the hospital…about you breaking your promise and not being fast enough. That was wrong of me, and I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault and yet you took all the blame.”
“I’ve always blamed myself.” He buries his face in my neck. “For Scott. For Lisa. For you. For not being there when the people I cared about most needed me. I wanted to be worthy for once in my life. Worthy of your love.”
“You have my love,” I whisper in his ear. “I love you. And although there is nothing to forgive, I forgive you. But you need to forgive yourself and move on, just like I’m going to do. Not just for me, but for Scott and Lisa. For our baby.” I slide my hand down his chest to rest over his heart, where we cut him together that night in the rain. “That’s what the pain is about, isn’t it? Guilt. If we have any hope for a future together, you have to let it go.”
He frowns. “It’s not that easy.”
“Come with me.” I clasp Ray’s hand and lead him to the alcove. Then I slip off my dress and underwear and hold out my arms. “Make love to me. Kiss me. Hold me. Hug me. Take me. But do it without the pain.”
Ray groans. “It’s been so long, and I want you so bad. I might be rough.”