Future Queens of England (48 page)

“Oi!  I am a lady,” she protested.  Tony laughed to himself.

“Are you?” the umpire said in genuine shock.  “Oh, please accept my apologies.”  He looked over at Tony and raised his eyebrows.

“Easy mistake to make,” Tony said genuinely, trying to get the umpire on side.

“Only because I’m stood opposite you, you faggot!” she said with a snarl.

“Attila the Hun would look feminine stood next to you
,
Lex.”  He winked at the umpire and gave him a nudge. 

The umpire let out a little snigger, but quickly suppressed it at the sight of Lex’s face.  “Call!”  He threw the coin into the air and caught it on the back of his hand.

“Heads.”

The umpire revealed the coin, “Heads it is.”

“We’ll push back,” Lex said snatching the ball from the umpire’s pocket.

“Which end do you want to play from?” the umpire said to Tony.

“This end is fine.”  Tony turned and signalled to his team and they took their positions.

The noise from the crowd lowered to a murmur as Lex dropped the ball to her feet and readied herself.  The umpire
then
raised the whistle to his lips and blew.  The piercing sound filled the air but was immediately drowned out by the roar of the crowd. 

Lezzy Lex whipped the ball across to her attacker and partner in crime Carol, who took control of it masterfully and made her way across the centre line into the home team’s side of the pitch.
 
Tony marked Lex as she too entered his side of the field.

Uwe glided forward and intercepted Carol, but she quickly passed the ball to her left and it was collected by her team mate
,
Daphne,
who skilfully weaved it past Bruce and into her opponent’s ‘D’.  She swung, took aim and smacked the ball towards the goal.  Hugh jumped into the line of fire and the ball
ricocheted
off his leg pads.  But before he had time to react Lex dashed forward and flicked the stray ball off the floor and into the back of the net.

Tony’s face fell as the umpire blew the whistle to signify that they were one
-
nil down.

Lex, Carol,
Daphne
and the girls made their way back up the pitch back to
wards
their side
,
to the
accompaniment
of boos from the home team supporters and cheers from their supporters.

Hugh picked up the ball from the back of the net and threw it to Tony.
 
Tony made his way back
to
the centre of the pitch and faced Lezzy Lex once again.

“That’s how you do it,” she said smugly.  “Shall I show you one more time
,
just in case you didn’t catch it?”

Tony ignored her and waited for the whistle to sound.  He gripped his stick firmly and gritted his teeth.  The whistle blew and he shoved the ball into Uwe’s direction
,
then ran straight past Lex.  Uwe took the ball and instantly thwacked it behind Lex.  Tony scooped up the ball and made a dash towards the away team’s ‘D’.

Keenan, Uwe and Bruce sprinted
,
in formation
,
into their attacker’s half, whilst Paul and the other defenders took their positions across the centre line in preparation for an attack.

Lex chased after Tony, but just as she reached him he passed the ball to Uwe.  Carol made an attempt to tackle him, but he knocked the ball to Bruce with complete precision and out of her reach.

Bruce and Keenan passed the ball back and forth between themselves and evaded capture for several metres
,
before Daphne successfully hooked the ball away from Bruce and sent it spinning down the pitch.  Uwe and Kath both ran for the ball, but Uwe was slightly faster and swept the ball back towards the goal.  He took aim and fired and a cheer went up as the ball hit the back board.  Uwe sneered at Lex and her team
, whilst
he made his way back into the home team’s half. 

They took their positions yet again a
nd
waited for the umpire to blow the whistle again.

Tony bent forward and rocked from left to right, gripping his hockey stick firmly.  “One
-
all.  I guess we’re evenly matched,” he said
,
the adrenaline cours
ing
through his veins.

“We’ll see,” Lex snapped
, spinning
her hockey stick in her hands.  “We’ll see.”

The half time whistle blew and both teams stopped play.  Dripping in sweat, they made their way into their respective sides
,
gasp
ing
for water.

“Well done
,
guys!  Oh, I’m so proud,” Ben said clapping his hands.  “It’s three
-
all.  I reckon that you can really do this.”  He started to hand out bottles of water to them, “Quick drink up.  Refresh yourselves.”  He reached into his bag and took out some energy bars, “Here!  Get these down you too.”

Tony wiped the sweat from his face and tried to find his breath.  “We’re so equally matched, this is anyone’s game.  I need you to prepare the secret weapon.”

Ben nodded to show that he understood.

“But don’t do anything until you get the signal from me
.
”

After making his substitution decisions
,
their five minute interval was over
,
and the whistle signified that they should change ends.  The two teams made their way across the pitch and exchanged scowls as they swapped ends.  Each team was as rosy faced and out of breath as the other, but they still found the energy to try and intimidate each other. 

Tony stepped forward and looked once more into the dark, soulless eyes of Lezzy Lex.  She stared, unblinking, back at him as her chest rose and fell.
 
From their peripheral vision
,
they both sensed the movement
of
the home team umpire lift
ing his
whistle to his lips.  Time seemed to slow down as the shrill whistle sounded
, signifying that
the second half of the battle had commenced. 

Tony belted the ball diagonally across to Keenan before racing into the centre of the pitch and then into enemy territory.  Uwe and Bruce immediately ran in opposing directions towards the corners of the pitch as Keenan followed Tony. 

Suddenly
,
Joan pounced on Keenan like a tramp on chips and they battled for possession of the ball.  They battled against one another as the sweat poured off them.  The umpires watched them carefully for any foul moves from a safe distance.  Then suddenly
,
Keenan twisted to his right dragging the ball in a wide circle with his hockey stick away from Joan.  He looked up to see Tony just a few yards in front of him and quickly passed it out of the danger zone.

Lezzy Lex saw that Keenan was about to pass the ball and ran over to Tony and started to mark him aggressively.  Tony used every trick he knew in order to retain possession whilst he waited for reinforcements to arrive. 

Uwe and Bruce ran from their corners towards Tony calling for the ball as they ran.  Tony lurched from left to right
,
waiting for his moment of opportunity as he kept Lezzy Lex at bay.  But then Carol started to attack from the front, realising he had to do something drastic he spread his legs apart and walloped the ball with all his might backwards. 

The manoeuvre took Lex by surprise
, and
she watched the ball glide straight past her.  Bruce collected the ball and charged toward the goal, pushing with every ounce of energy that he had left in him.  As he neared the goal h
e
puffed and panted and passed the ball to Uwe who finished the job by sending it careening once more into the back of the net.

The sound of cheers and groans was deafening as Uwe strutted back towards the home team’s half. 

“We’re in the lead.  Four
-
three,” Tony said
,
slapping Uwe on the back.  “If we can just keep them from scoring it’s in the bag.”

With a face like thunder
,
Lezzy Lex ran over to Carol, she grabbed her shoulder and ordered, “It’s time to make some substitutions.  Get rid of Daphne and Joan and fetch Vikki and Lynne. 

Carol nodded and informed the two girls that they’d been substituted.  “Vikki, Lynne.  You’re on!” 

From the sidelines two girls
,
dressed in black coats that came all the way down to their knees
,
nodded and stood up.  The girls looked incongruous next to their other team members.  Their long, silky, carefully styled hair was in stark contrast to the short unkempt hair of the other girls on the team.  They struggled to unbutton their long coats
,
due to their long and beautifully painted nails.  A couple of the other girls began to help them to disrobe.

“Oh
,
shit, we’re in trouble now!” Keenan gasped fearfully
, staring
at the two girls.

Uwe looked confused, “What’s the problem?  I don’t get it.” 

Keenan did not respond, but continued to gawp. 

Uwe grumbled to himself and prodded Keenan, “Don’t ignore me.  What’s the problem?  These two don’t look as athletic as the rest of the team, why are they a threat?”

Keenan broke off his gaze and rubbed his eyes, he took a few steps backwards in a panic.  He grabbed the front of Uwe’s shirt and twisted the material in his clenched fist.   “We have to protect Tony
!
”  He turned and ran.

Finally
,
the buttons were undone and the two girls stepped out of their coats to reveal two gloriously tanned bodies that were barely covered by their skimpy hockey kits.

And then the
penny dropped, Uwe’s face changed from one of confusion to one of fear.  “
Ach
Scheisse
,
lipstick lesbians
!”  He stumbled backwards unsteadily
too,
the reality dawn
ing
upon him.  He turned and ran after Keenan, “Tony
,
don’t look at their substitutions.”

On
hearing this Tony turned around, his interest piqued, “What’s up?  Did they bring on Medusa or something?  Why shouldn’t I look at them?”

Keenan threw himself into Tony’s line of sight, “Please
,
Tony.  Don’t look at the substitutions.”

Tony scowled
. 
“What the fuck has gotten into you lot?”  He pushed Keenan aside and looked across at the two girls as they wandered onto the pitch.  His jaw dropped open, “H-o-l-y f-u-c-k!” he whispered slowly.  His body chemistry reacted immediately; his adrenal glands and testicles fired up their machinery and the testosterone began to flood into Tony’s blood stream.  “Phwoarrrr!  Get a load of that,” he bellowed salaciously rubbing his hands together furiously
; drooling
as the two girls walked to the centre of the pitch.