Future Queens of England (57 page)

The noise level dropped and people began to listen.

“We’ve given you a lot over the past year, would you say?”

Tony nodded but didn’t speak.

“Well, now we’d like you to give something back.”

Tony’s face took on a serious expression, “Go on.”

“Well, we would like you to stay on at the school as our PE teacher and also as a heterosexual support counsellor.  What do you say to that?”

“I have one question.  What’s your position on relationships between staff?”

“Staff are free to have romantic relationships as long as it doesn’t interfere with their work and as long as I am aware of it.  So do you want the job?”

Tony grinned broadly, “Abso-bloody-lutely!”

“Perfect!  In that case you’re hired.”

Tony and the team began to cheer and bustled their way off the stage and the Head gave his closing words.  Tony separated himself from the group and approached Louise who was sitting in the staff section.

She smiled and kissed him tenderly on the lips and brushed the hair across his forehead.

He returned her smile before speaking.  “Relationships can’t be about romance all the time and I’m dying for a piss.  Would you help me into the toilet and take my trousers and pants down for me so I can go?” he said quickly.

Tony heard the words echo over the speaker system, he looked down and realised that in all the excitement they hadn’t taken his microphone off.  Slowly he turned to face the hundreds of students, pointlessly hoping that they hadn’t heard his request for assistance.  He was greeted by face after grinning face.  Like a deer caught in the headlights he stood fixed to the spot.  Time slowed down as he heard the clatter of chairs being pushed back quickly.

“I’ll help!”

“No, let me!  Let me!” came the cries.

The blood ran from Tony’s face, he looked down helplessly at his arms still in cast and then back up as the tsunami of students ready to volunteer surged forward from out of their seats.

“Get away!” he cried as he pushed his buttocks against the wall.  “Get back you bent bastards!”

Credits

My sincere thanks go to the following people who came together to make this dream a reality for me for no other reason than friendship.

Photography - Jason Wood & Sara Matthews

Models – Ryan Finnerty, James Coulson, Jason Wood & Sara Matthews

Book Cover Concept – Ryan Matthews

Book Cover Design – Ant Faconti
–
www.afovea.com

The Phantom – Lawrence Wong
–
www.retrogt.com

Proof Readers – George & Gareth Poole
& Carol Batty

Editing
– Linne Matthews

Hockey Consultant – Victoria Alexander

Philosophy – Arthur Schopenhauer

Muse – Sara Matthews

And thanks of course to…

Chloe Bongo,

Dylan The Destroyer,

Mum & Dad.

About the Author

Ryan Matthews emigrated to Milton Keynes at the end of the last century.  At the age of thirty one he had a mid-life crisis and made a decision, he could either watch TV in the evenings or write a novel; he chose the latter.  He’s now embarking on his
second mid-life crisis.   

[email protected]

@ryanomatthews

Future Queens of England

  
5