Get It Done When You're Depressed (23 page)

Read Get It Done When You're Depressed Online

Authors: Julie A. Fast

Tags: #Non-Fiction, #Pyrus

Here are some other thoughts to consider:
• Be very aware of what self-esteem-
style
symptoms come and go depending on your mood.
• Look deep inside and be honest with yourself about your lack of enthusiasm and ability to do what you want to do. Was this present when you were a kid? Did you learn it from a family member? Have you struggled with this forever and are not sure what to do? You might have low self-esteem, which can benefit from talk therapy.
Remember:
Working on personal problems caused by the past is very important. Knowing when the problems are due to a malfunctioning brain is essential.
32
Avoid Isolation
One of the problems with depression is that the symptoms created by the illness are often cured by the opposite behavior. This is especially true with the isolation depression creates. Depression-induced isolation often leads to loneliness and the belief that you’ll be this way forever, no matter how many people you have in your life.
Getting things done is not always a solitary process, and the more you isolate yourself, the less chance you have of finishing projects, especially those you need outside help with. Serious isolation can range from staying in bed all day to avoiding all your family and work obligations.
Being Alone Is Not Always a Good Thing
If depression makes you just want to go into a room and be left alone, you have to seriously think about how this is affecting your productive life. Just thinking can be difficult, but this is one of the strategies that’s not really up for discussion when you have to get things done. Depression can be successfully treated by action and by being with other human beings.
The solution to the isolation caused by depression is being with people. This is one of the most difficult strategies you’ll need to use to get better, but it will help you get out of the depression-seclusion cell and become a productive part of the world again.
Are any of these signs of “hermit” behavior familiar to you?
• You can’t find the words to talk with other people.
• You cancel events that once gave you pleasure.
• Your work suffers because you can’t work with others.
• You don’t leave your house.
• You really do think it’s better to just be alone and deal with depression yourself.
• You’re very, very lonely, yet find it difficult to be with people.
If you want to be by yourself when you’re depressed, ask yourself why. If the answer is that it recharges you so you can go back into the world, the time alone is effective. If otherwise, ask yourself what will make you feel better, being alone or getting out and taking part in life?
Maxim’s Story
I stayed in my room for a week once. I don’t want to go back to that kind of behavior. I didn’t answer the phone, and when I did talk to people, I told them I just needed to be alone to think. It was the lowest time of my life. I didn’t eat and drank a lot of beer. I honestly didn’t know what was wrong. It’s like I was in a daze and couldn’t get out of it.
One day I woke up and the real me said,
Enough! Get out of this house!
I’m not sure where the voice came from, but it worked. What a waste of my life. I saw a doctor after that and started on an antidepressant. I also got a roommate, which helped a lot. I doubt I would stay in my house for a week if someone knew what was going on. I’m lucky that I kept my job because I lied that I had the flu. Now I’m honest, and if I have a rough day, my roommate gets me out of the house.
My Story
Why does depression make me feel so unbelievably lonely? I think about this a lot. Working alone makes this even worse. I long for an office setting where I can talk to people in the hall and go into people’s offices and just say hi. I know many people would love to be home and not have to go to an office, but being alone is hard for me when my brain is sick. I’ve cried many nights over this feeling. I start to plan how I can work with people and be with people and stop being alone so much, and this helps me move out of the loneliness.
What I do now:
• I know that living alone doesn’t work for me at all. It makes me a lot more depressed. I always live with someone now.
• I remind myself that being alone is not an indication that I’m alone in life. There’s a big difference. Being alone is a natural part of life, and I have to learn to deal with it.
• Writing is lonely work sometimes. That’s just a fact. I do what I can to get the work done so I can go see people. And I have to be realistic and remember that I’m really only alone when I write.
• I pack my days full with things to do. As an extrovert, I thrive on this. When I’m depressed, it’s essential. This means the hours of alone time when I write have a time limit.
Exercise
Set up an isolation action plan before you get too depressed to see other people. Look over the following section and start to create your own plan for the days when you just want to be alone but you know it would be much better for your depression to get out and be with people.
Make myself presentable every single day.
Always go to work.
Plan something I can’t get out of.
Ask the people in my life to
make
me get out.
Think of how I will feel after I do something.
Just do the first step.
Remember what I loved in the past and do it now.
Yes, ending isolation is one of the most difficult strategies in this book. But it’s also one of the most important. Look at the preceding list and then write five things you can do to end isolation in order of their ease—and then do the first one right now!
ASK DR. PRESTON
Why is depression so isolating?
When you’re depressed, it’s natural if you want to pull away from others. You learn early on when dealing with depression that many friends or family members don’t want to hear you complain or in other ways express your negative feelings. Often you conclude,
No one wants to be around me …
and, thus, you seclude yourself. This conclusion can be based in part on the actual fact that people
don’t
want to be around you when you’re depressed, but it can also be due to the feelings of low self-esteem depression can create.

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