Get It Done When You're Depressed (23 page)

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Working on personal problems caused by the past is very important. Knowing when the problems are due to a malfunctioning brain is essential.

One of the problems with depression is that the symptoms created by the illness are often cured by the opposite behavior. This is especially true with the isolation depression creates. Depression-induced isolation often leads to loneliness and the belief that you’ll be this way forever, no matter how many people you have in your life.

Getting things done is not always a solitary process, and the more you isolate yourself, the less chance you have of finishing projects, especially those you need outside help with. Serious isolation can range from staying in bed all day to avoiding all your family and work obligations.

If depression makes you just want to go into a room and be left alone, you have to seriously think about how this is affecting your productive life. Just thinking can be difficult, but this is one of the strategies that’s not really up for discussion when you have to get things done. Depression can be successfully treated by action and by being with other human beings.

The solution to the isolation caused by depression is being with people. This is one of the most difficult strategies you’ll need to use to get better, but it will help you get out of the depression-seclusion cell and become a productive part of the world again.

Are any of these signs of “hermit” behavior familiar to you?

If you want to be by yourself when you’re depressed, ask yourself why. If the answer is that it recharges you so you can go back into the world, the time alone is effective. If otherwise, ask yourself what will make you feel better, being alone or getting out and taking part in life?

I stayed in my room for a week once. I don’t want to go back to that kind of behavior. I didn’t answer the phone, and when I did talk to people, I told them I just needed to be alone to think. It was the lowest time of my life. I didn’t eat and drank a lot of beer. I honestly didn’t know what was wrong. It’s like I was in a daze and couldn’t get out of it.

One day I woke up and the real me said,
Enough! Get out of this house!
I’m not sure where the voice came from, but it worked. What a waste of my life. I saw a doctor after that and started on an antidepressant. I also got a roommate, which helped a lot. I doubt I would stay in my house for a week if someone knew what was going on. I’m lucky that I kept my job because I lied that I had the flu. Now I’m honest, and if I have a rough day, my roommate gets me out of the house.

Why does depression make me feel so unbelievably lonely? I think about this a lot. Working alone makes this even worse. I long for an office setting where I can talk to people in the hall and go into people’s offices and just say hi. I know many people would love to be home and not have to go to an office, but being alone is hard for me when my brain is sick. I’ve cried many nights over this feeling. I start to plan how I can work with people and be with people and stop being alone so much, and this helps me move out of the loneliness.

When you’re depressed, it’s natural if you want to pull away from others. You learn early on when dealing with depression that many friends or family members don’t want to hear you complain or in other ways express your negative feelings. Often you conclude,
No one wants to be around me …
and, thus, you seclude yourself. This conclusion can be based in part on the actual fact that people
don’t
want to be around you when you’re depressed, but it can also be due to the feelings of low self-esteem depression can create.