Get It Done When You're Depressed (7 page)

To answer this question, let’s look at someone who has a free Saturday ahead of them. If there’s no structure, no planned activities, the depressed person is at high risk for staying in bed or otherwise not engaging in any enjoyable or meaningful activity. Often, by the end of the day, they’ve accomplished nothing and think,
I got nothing done. I didn’t see anyone. I feel useless and lonely. I feel out of control of my life.
In addition, inactivity leads to lethargy and fatigue.

But when you have a plan, a structure, in place, you have something to look forward to, and that helps lift the depression.

Children respond to structure. Let them run wild all day, and you’re asking for discipline and sleep problems. It’s the same with your brain. Structure creates calmness. Knowing you have to be somewhere or do something at a certain time helps you get things done. Without structure in place, you can lose days, weeks, months, and even years floating around wondering why you can’t get anything done. Structure your life, and structure your brain.

Here are some more benefits of structure:

Remember:
Not having a plan for your depressed days can lead to more depression; this is simply because you have more time to think about what’s wrong with your life instead of getting out there and living it. Begin to put a structure in place now. Don’t wait.

Have you ever had a day when you stand up and you’re ready to do something … but by the time you make the first move on the project you just feel like all your energy is gone and you have to sit down again? Are there some days when you just can’t see why it’s so hard to do things? Do you think,
Other people do these things with no problems. Why is it so hard for me?

It’s hard for you because you have an illness that often makes it
impossible
to get things done with ease. It’s so easy to forget how depression affects your life; it’s as though you have amnesia. You can have days on which things are difficult and then you get better and get on with your life. When the difficult days come back, you think,
What’s wrong with me? I was doing just fine!
This lack of awareness is very common for people with depression. If you had physical signs such as a high fever, it would be easy to know what was happening. But depression is so silent. It can sneak up on you and catch you unaware.

Catatonic depression is the type of depression where even brushing your teeth seems impossible. You get up in the morning, and before you know it, you’re sitting in a chair staring out the window and you can’t get up. Your brain feels blank and overwhelmingly depressed at the same time. You may stand for long periods or have trouble making the choice where to walk. This depression is particularly hard to fight.

On these days, it’s especially important for you to remind yourself that it’s depression causing these problems and that you can still move. You can lift your hands, and you can walk. You can do what you need to do. You’re depressed but not truly frozen. Reminding yourself that you’re depressed helps you focus on what the illness is doing to you instead of what you’re doing wrong.

Be aware of these signs to help remind yourself that you’re depressed:

When you learn your own depression signs, you can stop and remind yourself that it’s depression before you lose another day to self-criticism.

Here’s how I used to think:
You’re stupid and worthless, Matt. Other people at the office get things done. You’re going to get fired. Everyone can see that your work sucks. Look at how you’re dressed—you don’t even look professional. You met with that PR woman the other day, and there’s no way she’s going to collaborate with you. You’re too fat and your jacket is too small.
It was terrible.

Then I realized that I don’t think this way when I’m not depressed. I started to talk back to myself. I said,
I’m depressed,
whenever any of these thoughts came up. I told myself,
Depression is an illness, and I have depression. These thoughts happen because I have depression. I can get things done even when depression can’t.
Sometimes it’s really difficult to see what’s going on and I can focus on my imaginary failings for hours; but I’ve taught myself what I say to myself when I’m depressed and I’m more ready for it now.

When I have a project due and the depression is really tough, I coach myself through the day.
Okay, Julie. You’re depressed. This is normal. Just sit down at the computer and do part of the work.
When I manage to do part of the work—and I can do more now than I ever used to be able to do—I often start staring into space again. So I start over.
Julie, this is normal. You’re depressed. Try again. You can do it, Julie. Depression makes you like this. You can work!
I know it’s like talking to a child, but it gets the job done on days my brain is barely functioning.

Here’s what I say to myself when I’m just sitting or lying in bed in a stupor:

It’s important to be ever-aware that depression is influencing most if not all of your perceptions and conclusions. You always need to be on the alert to carefully evaluate what you’re thinking. Also, when you’re depressed, you need to be watchful for harsh and negative self-talk. Reminding yourself that you’re depressed keeps you from being overly critical; during this time especially, you need to be gentle and compassionate toward yourself.

It’s okay to talk to yourself all the time when you’re depressed. This overrides what your depressed brain might say, and it reminds you that it’s an illness and not you. It’s so easy to forget this when you’re in the middle of a day when your productivity is very low, so work on reminding yourself that you’re depressed until it becomes your mantra.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
On the days when you can’t seem to get anything done and everything seems to go wrong, remind yourself that you’re depressed. Tell yourself feeling this way is normal and keep going.

Lack of focus and a feeling of confusion are very normal when you’re depressed and can make you very easily distracted. That, in turn, can lead to a lot of problems when you have to get something done, especially on a deadline. Working alone at home, for example, might feel impossible, so you get up and turn on the TV, call a friend, or do anything except what you need to do.

If you’re depressed, it’s natural that you would want to do something that seems more pleasurable than a required task. And a distracted brain often needs a fix before it can calm down.

If you want to feel better when you feel scattered and unfocused, you might even negotiate this:
I’m just going to make one phone call and then I’ll feel better
… and suddenly it’s an hour of phone calls because they calm you down.

You’ve given your distracted brain something to do, but the problem is that it’s not what you needed to do! It’s hard to understand why it would be easier to do something you don’t need to do than actually just do what you have to do, but depression is confusing like that. You can have plenty of energy to do what doesn’t need to be done right now but feel absolutely worn out when faced with a required task.

When something suddenly seems far more appealing than your actual project, don’t give in to the distraction. Be sure you work productively on the unfocused days. You can do this by putting yourself in a place with few to no distractions. Or you can remove as many distractions as possible before you even start to work.

Are any of the following common distractions for you?

It’s so easy to become distracted today. Take the time to look around you and see what pulls your attention away from your task. This helps you know where you need to make changes.

I know the Internet and e-mail are amazing inventions, but in terms of working when I can’t focus, they have been a terrible addition to my life! I have the Internet at work, and I’m usually okay with it. But it becomes
so
incredibly enticing when I’m having a low day.

And why does e-mail suddenly become so important? I can exchange e-mail after e-mail with my friends on these days instead of working. And then I feel rotten and stupid and even more depressed at the end of the day. These are friends I can call anytime when I get home—where I also have the Internet.

I have a lot of questions about what my brain is doing when this happens. Is it misfiring? Does the distraction make me feel better? It does sometimes, as I feel a moment of relief, but then I’m right back there needing more. I think this has to do with the fact that I have ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) and OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) symptoms when I get depressed.

Now I have a rule: when the behavior gets out of hand—and I usually don’t notice it until I’ve wasted a few hours—I leave my office and work in a conference room. Now that we have wireless, it’s hard to stay away from the Internet or e-mail, but moving myself into a place with fewer distractions works.

I always want to clean my house when I have a writing deadline. Especially my kitchen floor. Believe me, cleaning my house is not usually that compelling, but it always comes up when a chapter is due. I then think of organizing all the pictures I’ve had sitting in a box for the past few years. Or how it would be great to finally organize my e-mail! And make a shopping list … and organize my clothes … and all the other things I dread doing when I have the time.