Authors: Michael Lewis
“Zeke, I’m
sorry I never ever meant to make you feel that way. I was selfish and acting
out of fear. Babe come here, come close I want you to really hear me right now.
Zeke, I love you with every damn thing I got in me. I hate knowing that I made
you feel I could ever be disgusted by you. Zeke you are my world man. I went to
visit my mom yesterday and saw my pops too and he was asking a bunch of
questions. After that visit I felt like I needed to be more careful. So that’s
why I acted like that about being in front of the window cause I never know who
might be watching, if my pops is watching me, or if he got somebody watching
me. The nigga got eyes everywhere.
He doesn’t
even know I am not dealing anymore. You gotta understand getting out of the
dope game with my pops is kinda like trying to get out of a gang, but Zeke I
did it not just for me but for you too. I love you Zeke. I ain’t mean to hurt
you. See Zeke, you know I sold drugs, but you don’t know why. I never chose
that, I was forced into that. My pops is “Cold” Tony Hardaway, one of the
biggest dudes in the dope game in the South. My pops is just not someone you
say no to. If you ask any dealer on the street or any police officer on the
east coast about my pops, I guarantee you they will know about him. The feds
were after him for years but he was always too slippery to catch. Zeke guess
where I was born?”
“Where?”
“In prison,
because the feds busted my moms doing a pickup for my pops and tried to make
her give him up but she didn’t.”
“Wow! Jazz
why didn’t you tell me any of this before now? Now I see why you flipped out
when I said you could stop if you wanted. I made it sound so easy and it
wasn’t. I also understand all your anger, it’s because you have been carrying
all of this. Jazz. I’m sorry.”
“Nah babe,
you ain’t do nothing wrong, you didn’t know, but that’s one reason why I love
you man. You’ve pushed me and encouraged me and had my back all because you
believed in me. Zeke, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you would want
to associate with nobody like me.”
“Jazz, you
stopped and showed concern for me on one of the worst nights ever. You could
have passed me up and not looked back. You won my friendship then regardless of
anything. One thing you can count on no matter what Jazz, I got your back,
always.”
“Zeke thanks.
I’d never reject you babe. I saw you in the car wiping your eyes and I knew I
had messed up. Zeke when you just disappeared I was scared I’d lost you.
“I was just
confused and hurt but I understand you so much better now. I didn’t mean to
worry you and it would take a lot more than that for you to lose me.”
“Please don’t
do that anymore. If you are mad, just pick up the phone and tell me you are. At
least I’d know you are okay. Whenever I don’t know you are alright, I’m not
alright.”
“Okay.”
“Zeke, baby
you know I really, really love you right?”
“Yes.”
“You love me,
babe? I asked with my sad puppy eyes.
“Yes, Jazz
you know I do.” He said with that sexy ass smile that makes me weak.
“Come here
Zeke. Now grab what belongs to you.”
He reached
out and grabbed the bulge that extended down my right thigh. I felt a surge run
through me and my dick jumped and got rock hard from his touch. I had to have
him. I didn’t say anything I just pulled his shirt off, and started unbuckling
his belt. I pulled his pants down over the high, round, bubble-licious mounds
of his ass and couldn’t resist. I grabbed two generous hands full and pulled
him close to me and kissed him. I told him to lie on his stomach.
“What are you
gonna do Jazz?” he asked.
“I’m gonna
show you why I could never reject you. Cause I am so addicted to every single
thing about you.”
Before he
could respond, I spread his legs apart and plunged my tongue between Zeke’s
luscious mounds with a force that made his body rise from the bed. He moaned my
name over and over and made me weak and hot at the same time. I turned him over
and he caught me by surprise when he reached down, grabbed my dick and guided
me inside of him.
He was so
warm and soft. I slid deeper and began to thrust. Soon Zeke wrapped his body
around mine and began to cry out to me from the intensity of my deep, desperate
strokes. I tried to hold back in vain because soon, I exploded deep inside him.
After a quick recovery, we began round two. Makeup sex is the Best!
Ten
Alton Allen
Being the forgiving
Christian that I am, I went to pay Nadiah a visit. Nadiah looked like hell. One
thing I can say is that no matter what she always kept herself looking good. I
think I will always love her in some capacity, but I can never be in love with
her again. As the mother of my child she does warrant some consideration from
me about her welfare. She was a horrible wife, but I wouldn’t wish harm on her.
“Hey Nadiah I
came to see you and see how you are holding up.”
“Alton, you
are the last person I expected to see. After what I’ve done to you. I want to
apologize to you, I feel I owe you that much.”
“I appreciate
that Nadiah.”
“You are a
good man Alton. You didn’t deserve any of the things I did to you.”
“Nadiah I
know you need money, for legal fees and other stuff. I’m willing to settle with
you. Here is a cashier’s check for $250,000.00. That should help you get a new
start. All you have to do is sign this to accept the settlement.”
“I do need
the money. I appreciate it.” She said before she signed the paper.
After
exchanging a little bit of small talk I got up and walked to the door. I turned
to look at Nadiah once more before walking out of her life for good.
I drove straight to my lawyer’s office to take the papers
and have them recorded. With both our signatures, the divorce was final. From
the lawyers office I went to my personal jeweler to pick up the beautiful
custom made 5 carat Canary yellow and white diamond engagement ring I’d had
crafted especially for Rachel. She had no idea of my plans.
Elias tried
to fight the divorce at first until she reminded him that if they took it to
court, she had a very good chance of wiping him out totally. Once he thought
about it he changed his tune. He hurried up and signed those papers. So her
divorce was expedited and finalized the week before mine.
I couldn’t
wait to get home. I was a little too excited, because I got stopped for
speeding. Once the officer heard my story and saw how happy I was, he let me
off with a warning and told me to slow down. After making one more stop at my
travel agent’s office to pick up some tickets, I went home. While Rachel was
still at work, I packed two suitcases for us. When she walked in the house all
the lights were off and the suitcases were at the front door.
“Hey baby, don’t
get too comfortable. We are going on a little trip.”
“A trip?
Okay, I don’t know what you have done, but I can’t wait to see what it is.”
After
freshening up and getting a few odds and ends Rachel was ready. There was a
white Escalade Limo waiting at the curb to take us to the airport, where we
boarded a 1st class flight to St. Bart’s. When we arrived, a limo met us at the
airport and took us to the private villa I’d reserved.
The staff I’d
hired for the evening, a 5 star chef, two servers, a cellist, a butler, and a
maid arrived about 7:00 P.M. The appetizer of Lobster legs and fried oysters
with accompanying sauces was served first. Dinner was a delicious Duck a
L’Orange, Braised vegetables, Yeast rolls, and a special herbal rice pilaf.
Desert was a decadent Belgian chocolate cake with gourmet vanilla mint ice
cream. We had after dinner caramel espressos with cinnamon sticks. While the
cellist played, I began my proposal on bended knee.
“Rachel I
liked you the first time I laid eyes on you. God brought us together in the
midst of our personal storms. I had given up hope of finding a woman who would
appreciate me and love me with an intensity that equally matched my love for
her. I’ve found that in you. You make me smile inside and love harder. I hurt when
you hurt. I want to share in your happiness and success as well as your trials.
I want to be your rock, your protector, and your comfort. I want you to be the
half that completes me. I promise to keep God first and foremost and let his
glory sustain my love for and with you. Rachel, will you please, please, please
baby, baby, please marry me?”
“Yes, Yes,
Yes, Yes, Yes! Oh yes Alton!”
“You just
made me the happiest man in the world.”
“You made me
the happiest woman in the world.”
After
carrying the entire burden of our respective relationships, our eyes opened.
Instead of just saying to hell with it and deciding to have an affair, we
decided to pray about the depressing unions we were in. God worked through that
prayer by showing us that you can’t carry a relationship with your love alone.
One lesson we both learned was that you can’t love someone into loving you.
Surprisingly,
after being treated like dirt by our spouses, neither Rachel nor I were bitter
about it. We found the blessing in it as it took those relationships to teach
us what love is as opposed to what it is not. God answered our prayers by
giving us what we needed not what we wanted. It wasn’t their will to love us as
we loved them. Our marriages were destined to fail because we were all unequally
yoked. Instead of magically fixing the marriages for our instant gratitude, God
opened our eyes with the wisdom and strength to walk away.
Because you
stand before a preacher and recite vows does not automatically mean the
marriage has favor in God’s eyes. It is your will to marry that person but if
God is against it, God can express that by simply not blessing the union. If
the union isn’t blessed, it will destruct on its own because it is only held
together by human will, which is inherently flawed. Also, in God’s blessing of
a union, there is protection. With no blessing, there is no protection leaving
the union susceptible to not only outside forces but inside forces as well.
God’s
blessing is necessary to sustain life. Rachel is my blessing because she
sustains my life. Blessings are eternal, without them everything would perish.
The life of Jesus Christ is the ultimate blessing that God bestowed upon us,
its reward being everlasting life.
Rachel
Once upon a
time I could only dream of a man like Alton. He is attentive without smothering
me. He makes me feel secure. He knows just what to say, when to say it, and how
to say it. He takes the lead without being asked and without feeling it
necessary to reduce my value, my input, or me. Elias required that I be reduced
to a total non-entity with nothing to say or feel. Alton always lets me know
that he values my thoughts and me and that I matter to him. Sometimes I just
have to sit back and just watch him in awe. I had been brainwashed into believing
that the false bravado many males exhibit was the definition of a man.
Children have
been a desire of mine for a long time but I never took that plunge with Elias.
Every time I thought he was making a change, he would slip back into mental madness.
I was afraid my children would turn out to be raving lunatics like him.
Secondly, I would have to be on guard constantly to keep him from abusing them.
Elias, on occasion expressed the desire to have children, but I questioned his
motives.
When he spoke
of having children he always followed it with what he would and wouldn’t allow
them to do, how he would discipline them, what he would expect from them, and
what their names would be. He even predetermined the careers they would pursue.
If his son had a natural talent for art or singing, Elias was going to force
him to be a lawyer or a doctor. He’d planned to begin training them in science
starting at 1 year old! Elias didn’t want children to be a father and watch his
family grow, he saw children as an extension of his rule. He just wanted more
subjects in his tyrannical kingdom.
To watch
Alton with his daughter Paige is so touching. He takes so much time with her. I
need to feel comfortable with the man I choose to father my children. I also
need to feel secure that he is dedicated to the partnership of raising them.
Once you bring children into the picture, it’s no longer just about you. They
don’t ask to be here.
Elias made my
biological clock go silent. Alton jump-started the clock, but instead of
ticking it started pounding like King Kong was tap-dancing on it. The man is
fine! There is no other way to put it. When he looks at me with those golden
brown eyes and smiles at me with those dimples I feel warm inside. When he told
me we were going to St. Bart’s I couldn’t believe it.
“Alton, what
have you done? What is all this?”
“I made an
open reservation for a private villa. You like it don’t you?”
“Of course I
just assumed that we would do like normal people and go to hotel. I am just
shocked that’s all. I know this was expensive.”
“Rachel
nothing about you just normal. Not your beauty, your warmth, your radiance,
your sweet kisses, or the way you’ve taken my heart, none of it is normal.
Don’t be concerned with the cost. You deserve this and so much more and I plan
to give you as much of it as I can.”
“Thanks
Alton. God you’re so sweet. I don’t know if I deserve all of this, I’d be happy
at the Snooty Fox Inn as long as you are there with me.”
“That’s okay.
By the time we go home you will know that you deserve this and more.”
“I just can’t
believe you are real.”
Alton walked
over to me slowly and placed his lips to mine. He placed his large hands on my
back firmly and instantly I felt my legs weaken. He softly nibbled my bottom
lip teasing me as he continued to kiss me.
“I can assure
you that I am real and I am yours.”
“Shut up and
kiss me some more.”
“Mmmm Okay.”
Eleven
Jazz Hardaway
As if
Marlena had pressed a magic button, things started happening for me. Artists
were booking meetings with me left and right. The first Monday in September was
the beginning of a phenomenal week for me. During a call from an MCA executive
about working with Mary J. Bilge. I pulled the receiver away from my ear for a
moment and just looked at it because I couldn’t believe it. The next day Motown
called about working with Erykah Badu. She had heard some of my work and wanted
to collaborate. That was a dream come true because I’d long admired her work
with PhreQuency and 9th Wonder.
Later in the
week Zeke got the callback he’d been praying for. He’d auditioned for a part in
a biopic about Motown. Zeke auditioned for a supporting role. When he
auditioned, they unexpectedly asked him to sing. Their response was a simple,
“Okay, we’ll call you.” He figured the lackluster tone in the casting
director’s voice meant he didn’t get the part. The casting director called and
told him that they had chosen him for a part, but not the supporting role he
auditioned for. Zeke looked disappointed until the casting director said, “After
your audition, we had a meeting and watched your tape. It was unanimous. We are
looking for someone to play Marvin Gaye. You have the look, the voice, and
you’re the whole package. Are you interested?”
I couldn’t
really describe the look on Zeke’s face. He looked like he was about to throw
up but he had a dazed smile on his face. He stayed like that for a minute after
he hung up.
“Yo Zeke?
Come back to earth, man. You alright?”
“Huh? Oh
yeah. I am just shocked. Do you know what this means?”
“Yeah, you about
to start living the dream you’ve been working so hard for. I’m proud of you
Zeke.”
“Thanks Jazz.
I am happy for you too. Look where we were a year ago and look where we are
now.”
“Yeah, I owe
you a lot.”
“No you don’t
owe me anything. God did all of this.”
“Man, never
in a million years did I think I would come this far so fast.”
“Jazz no
matter how far you go always make sure you give God due credit. The biggest
mistake we can make is to become too self-assured and think we are doing it all
alone. Don’t ever become so self-validating that you forget God, because you
will fall so fast you won’t even see the ground when you hit it.”