Authors: Michael Lewis
There was no
need to worry about it since I couldn’t do anything immediately anyway. I had
to meet with the producers and director of the movie later that evening. In the
meantime I figured I would unwind. I turned the television on and changed into
my lounging clothes. Something caught my attention on the television and I
turned the sound up.
“The body of
famous record producer Marlena Dalton was discovered last night in her Atlanta
home. Details are sketchy, but police have confirmed that she was beaten to
death and possibly sexually assaulted sometime last night. This morning police
arrested popular Atlanta Hip Hop Artist Slade, whose real name is Jazz
Hardaway, in connection with the vicious homicide. We will update this story as
we receive more details.” The reporter said.
Certainly I
hadn’t just heard what I thought I’d heard. After turning to another station
and hearing the same thing again, my sanity was confirmed. It was all over the
news. I knew Jazz had a temper but I just didn’t believe he could do anything
as heinous as that, especially since he held such a high regard for women. He
damn near killed Elias after what he’d done to Rachel whom he’d only recently
met.
I called
Alton immediately.
“Hello?”
“Alton I’m in
L.A. I’ve checked into the hotel. What the hell is going on Alton? Jazz is all
over the damn news. I am about to have a heart attack!”
“Oh you have
heard huh?”
“Yes it’s all
over the news. He was arrested for murdering Marlena! Alton, I know Jazz and
there is no way he could have done what they said.”
“Before you
got on the plane he told me to make sure you know he is innocent. I don’t know
much more than you right now but I am trying to find out. They said on the news
here that she had been beaten and possibly raped.”
“Alton I feel
sick. I can’t concentrate with this going on, but I can’t afford to be
distracted. This is my big break and I can’t mess this up.”
“You have to
put it out of your mind Zeke. I am doing as much as I can and I’ll keep you
posted I promise, but you can’t fall apart.”
“This just
had to happen now. I swear it seems every step we take forward, we leap back
four. Alton I can’t find my phone anywhere. It’s not in my luggage. When you
get a chance please go to my house and look for it. It should be in my bedroom
somewhere.”
“Okay cuz,
I’ll go right now.”
There was no
way I would be able to sleep knowing Jazz was in the trouble he was in. I
decided to pass time in the restaurant in the lobby until my meeting. When the
time came to go to the meeting, I was a walking zombie. I kept thinking about
going to the airport and catching the first flight back to Atlanta and saying
to hell with the movie. Fortunately it didn’t take long to come to my senses.
A lot of good
it did me to go to the meeting in the state of mind I was in. The whole time
they were speaking to me, I was aloof and disoriented thinking about Jazz.
Luckily, they pretended not to or didn’t seem to notice it. When I got back to
the hotel I had an urgent message at the front desk. It turned out to be
Randall. He said he needed to speak to me immediately so I called him when I
got to the room.
“Randall I
got your message. What’s going on?”
“Zeke I have
your phone. You left it in my car when we went out Thursday.”
“Oh great,
can you overnight it to me?”
“Actually
Zeke, there is a message on it that umm …well, I don’t wanna talk about it over
the phone. I am at the airport now I’ll be back in L.A. tonight then we can
meet up. It’s really important. Try not to worry in the meantime.”
“That’s easy
for you to say. I’ll be waiting.”
It seemed
stupid to worry if I didn’t know what I was worrying about, yet it didn’t stop
me. A few hours later, in an effort to relax, I went to the bar to have a drink
or three to loosen up. As I sat there sipping on a whiskey neat another report
about Jazz’s arrest came on. This time they said that after an initial
investigation of the crime scene they felt they had enough evidence to proceed
with charging Jazz with Marlena’s Murder. I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. The
thought of Jazz being taken away from me yet again was just too much to handle.
As I tried to compose myself to no avail, the next news segment caught my eye.
“We spoke
with Officer Jamal Cummings of the Atlanta Police department about the case.
Here is what he had to say regarding the developments.”
“Of course I
am limited as to the details I can give but I can tell you that I have complete
confidence in our case so far. We are investigating this matter diligently and
have every confidence in the arrest that we’ve made.” Jamal stated to the
camera.
I pushed the
drink away and went back to my room. I don’t know how long I sat there staring
at the walls before I heard a knock on the door.
“Who is it?”
“Randall.”
I opened the
door and let him in.
“Randall I
feel like I’m going crazy! I just saw Jamal on T.V.”
“So what’s so
odd about that?”
“What’s odd
is the fact that he is the same one who arrested Jazz on bogus charges in a
hissy fit over the fact that I moved on. It’s just odd that of all of the
policemen they could have interviewed he is the one who gave a statement.
Something is not right about that. He isn’t the department spokesperson.”
“This is like
something out of a soap opera.”
“What?”
“There is a
message on your voice mail that you need to hear.”
Randall
called my mailbox and put the phone on speaker so I could hear the message. I
could hear a male voice and a female voice. The male voice was not Jazz. They
were arguing, yelling, and cursing up a storm. The message began in the middle
of their argument so I was unsure how it started. The male voice addressed her
as Marlena, numerous times but she only addressed him as “J”. Their argument
quickly escalated. We heard the man sexually assault her for mocking him. The
last thing we heard were the unmistakable sounds of him beating her to death.
Jazz’s phone had been acting up for months. I had told him again and again to
check his phone periodically because it had a tendency to automatically call
me. That time I was glad it did. Jazz had apparently left his phone at
Marlena’s when he left.
“Randall we
have to get this to the police.”
“I’ve been
thinking about whether or not I want to release this information. I could
easily sit and do nothing then Jazz will be out of the way for good.”
“Randall I
can’t believe it is even a question. Of course you should. Certainly you
wouldn’t let him go to prison knowing he’s innocent.”
“I could do
just that.”
“Well it’s my
phone. I can give it to them.”
“Only if you
get it from me and I am not giving it to you until you talk to me first.”
“Randall are
you insane? Talk about what?”
“Talk about
what I did to make you not love me anymore. I don’t regret much but I regret
not telling you how I felt when I should have. I just don’t believe that you
don’t feel anything for me.”
“Randall not
now please!”
“Yes now!”
“You knew how
I felt and then you just stopped showing up and stopped calling. I thought I’d
done something wrong. You were the first man I ever fell in love with then you
rejected me. You just dropped off the face of the earth!”
“Zeke I’m
sorry. Alton didn’t want me to mess with you because I was a big flirt back
then and I’ll admit I did sleep around. That’s because I was using sex to fill
an unfillable void. Here we are all this time later and I’m still empty! I’m
empty Zeke! Don’t you see that?” Randall said as if the words burned his lips.
“Can you
imagine how heartbroken I was when I saw you again and couldn’t have you? It’s
not Jazz, I would have hated anyone you were with because I want that spot!” He
continued.
“Randall I’ve
been grown for a while. You had opportunities to tell me how you felt. When I
went away to college I was away from Alton, so he wouldn’t have known. It took
me years to get over how you just dropped out of my life. Now you come back and
think you can simply pick up where you left off.”
“Zeke all of
what and who I am now is because of you. Alton didn’t say it but I always knew
he didn’t want me with you because he didn’t think I was good enough for you.
In school I was just a jock who the girls flocked to. When I played pro, I was
just a jock with money. So I decided to show him, you, and everybody else that
I had a brain. I faked that injury so I wouldn’t have to explain to people why
I quit playing pro ball.”
“Randall you
were good enough for me just as you were.”
“Zeke I still
love you. I’m still in love with you. I know you may not be in love with me but
do you still love me? Can you look in my eyes and say you don’t?”
At that
moment I saw the same vulnerability in Randall’s eyes that I’d seen years
before. I could tell that he still felt like he wasn’t good enough.
“Randall I do
still love you. You went to law school to make yourself what you thought was
finally good enough. When you saw someone like Jazz could win me over you felt
your work was all for nothing, but Randall you are a success. I’m sure the
lucky person who gets you will treasure you. There is someone out there for
you.”
“But it won’t
be you. All I want is to be to be good enough. I wanted to be worthy of your
love Zeke.” Randall said defeated.
“Randall you
are good enough, you always were.” I said, placing my hand to his face.
He placed his
hand over mine, holding my hand to his cheek, and pulled me closer to him. I
placed my left hand to the back of his head and placed a soft kiss on his full
lips. He looked into my eyes happily confused and smiled. I kissed him again,
pressing my tongue to his, and allowed myself to feel for him again. I lifted
my fingers nervously to the first button on his shirt and unbuttoned it.
“Randall I
want to show you that you are good enough.”
All of the
emotions I’d safely hidden for years came rushing to the surface. I was once
again that shy, lovesick, 17 year old wanting to be wanted by him again.
“Zeke you are
shaking. Are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I’ve dreamed
of this moment, but accepted that it would never be.”
“I’ll never
reject you. I love you Zeke. Promise me something?”
“What?”
“Promise me
that after tonight, I no longer have to regret not making love to you. Let me
give that special part of myself to you. Let me finally have that special part
of you.”
Instead of
words, I kissed him again, removed his shirt, and then mine. He removed his
pants, then mine. Randall was the man I wanted so bad for so long, but could
never have. He put me at ease with his kisses as he placed them first upon my
lips, then my chest, and then every other place imaginable.
Each slight
caress of his fingers against my warm skin sent sensual pulses through me as I
anxiously awaited the pleasure of his touch again and again. He took his time
with me and I with him. Finally having the chance to experience each other we
didn’t want it to end too soon. Randall gently used his long fingers to prepare
me to accept him within me. Trusting him completely, I yielded to his desire.
He teased me with his tongue allowing my anticipation to build until it was
unbearable. I needed him and was no longer afraid to express to him how much.
He joined his
body to mine as he entered me aggressively. My body trembled in response to his
touch when he kissed me. My hands traveled the length of his muscular back and
landed on his waist as he dipped his back, adding momentum to his stroke. He
touched places inside me and claimed them as his own. Randall planted soft
kisses along my neck causing me to moan in pleasure. As he aggressively seized
me and took the part of me he’d waited so anxiously for I called his name
loudly and lustfully. I held the sides of his face and studied its features as
he pressed his long, thick, hardness deeply inside me.
“Zeke hold on
to me as tight as you can baby. I want to feel you all over me.”
“Yes
Randall.”
His smooth
chocolate-colored skin reflected a sensual glow. His full lips framed by the
intricately trimmed moustache begged me to kiss them, so I did. Transfixed in
his gaze I couldn’t turn away. He pressed forward harder and harder as we
looked into each other’s eyes determined neither of us would be the first to look
away.
Soon I felt
the eve of my orgasm quickly approaching. He read it in my face, as I too read
his impending climax. Randall began to thrust desperately inside me as I caught
each thrust and responded in kind with one of my own. Never looking away from
each other, orgasmic tears flooded our eyes simultaneously as we reached our
peaks together. We shared a lingering kiss upon our post coital descent.
“Jazz is the
luckiest man in the world.”
“He is? Why?”
“He has your
heart. I have your love, but he has your heart. You really do love him don’t
you?”
“Yeah I do.”
“And I love
you so I’m gonna do something totally selfless to make things right.”
“What’s
that?”
“I’m gonna
represent him and get this legal mess out of the way so you can two be
together.”
“Are you
serious?”
“What I did
wasn’t right and I need to get my karma right.”
“I don’t know
if he’ll go for it Randall. He doesn’t like you very much.”
“I’ll talk to
him, it’ll be ok. I love you Zeke, I always will. I want you to be happy, even
if it’s with him.”
Seventeen
Jazz Hardaway
Why was so
much shit happening to me? I consider myself a pretty good guy. I don’t mess
with anybody unless they mess with me or mine. I gave in to Marlena, the Cougar,
thinking I was doing a good thing to protect someone I love and I ended up in
jail. I couldn’t win for losing. Once again I’d let Zeke down. He believed in
me so much but I couldn’t seem to stop messing up.