Authors: Michael Lewis
“I’ve been
thinking a lot about things over the past few weeks and I realized that you did
things the only way you knew how. I’m not mad at you for that anymore. Although
there are some things I would have changed, you did teach me a lot and I know
that any situation I am faced with, I can handle it because of what you taught
me.” I told him.
“I also
decided that it was pointless to keep blaming you day after day. God lets
things happen or not happen for a reason. There must be a reason we all had the
lives we had. Looking at it all, I wouldn’t change it because my life made me
the person I am and I love me. To change my life would be to change who I am.”
I added.
“Jazz I’ll
admit I didn’t understand your relationship because in my day, even if you
thought about something like that you knew you’d better make damn sure it never
slipped out. It just wasn’t the thing to do. Looking at you I understand it
now. You love him, and he loves you. My problem was that although I
wanted to see you and your mother happy, I was convinced I knew what would make
you happy. I was determined that your happiness would only come about from
following my plan. That was the wrong attitude for me to take.”
“I’m glad you
realize all of this now. It’s never too late.” Mom said to Tony.
“Gloria I
apologize for ever putting my hands on you. You haven’t been happy for a
long time. I saw it but was determined to control everything and everyone. From
the very beginning, I always knew in the back of your mind, you were still love
with Curtis. I couldn’t stand it because it was one more thing he had that I
resented. I have always hated the fact that he gave you what I never could, a
child. I felt that even though he gave you a child, I had your love and I was
prepared to go to war to hold on to it. The gleam in your eyes right now, lets
me know I was nothing but a 20-year long interruption in a love affair that was
destined to be.”
“I feel like
I don’t even know you anymore Tony after all of these lies. You have lied to me
for our whole marriage! ”
“I understand
that I have a lot of bridge fixing to do but I just want to ask you Jazz, I
would love to be a part of your life if you’ll let me. Will you? Contrary to
the mistakes I’ve made out of ignorance and my selfish pride, I love you Jazz
and your mother too. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve made some bad mistakes.
Even if it takes you all some time to forgive me, please don’t shut me out. You
are all I have. I ain’t got anybody else in the world. That’s why I tried to
hold on the best way I knew how. It’ll kill me if you shut me out.” He said as
tears streamed freely down his sad face.
“I need a
minute to digest that. Do you realize that’s the first time in my life you have
ever said you loved me? I know because it’s something I’ve always wanted to
hear. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you Tony, no, correction…Dad. You have
always been dad and there is no need to change it now. All I’ve ever wanted was
for you to love me, and appreciate me, and support me …for me. Of course you
can be a part of my life. I never wanted to shut you out of my life, but you
gotta understand that my life includes Zeke. If you can’t accept that then that
is on you.”
In response
he just smiled and grabbed Zeke and I both in a big hug. He’d successfully
convinced me he was serious about changing his ways. As long as someone is
trying to right a wrong, they deserve a chance, don’t they? I think so because
Zeke did it for me. I’d hate to think of where I’d be if he hadn’t given me a
second chance.
Twenty
Ezekiel Nelson
It seems like
only yesterday that I was a struggling actor trying to break into the business.
Every casting call, every audition, I was there. Not only have I made a name for
myself but also I am well on my way to a full-scale blow up. The movie has been
getting plenty of buzz and I’ve already begun receiving calls about other
scripts just based on the “insider word of mouth”. The last 3 years have been
some roller coaster ride and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. In my inner
circle Valentine’s Day has come to hold a special significance for each of
us. It seems all of our major life changing events tend to happen on or
around Valentine’s Day. This year is no exception. The premier of
my new movie is being held on Valentine’s Day. We all agreed that the
theme this year should be New Beginnings.
Jazz just
released a new single, which is doing wonderful on the charts. He was number
one in Digital Downloads the week of release. That is a wonderful sign for the
upcoming album. He did a lot of work before he went to jail. He recorded a few
new songs and remixed some of what he had already. He and I did another
song that is featured on the movie soundtrack. It’s hot, too! Our relationship
has been smooth sailing since getting back together. It took being apart to
make us really appreciate each other and put things in perspective.
Going to jail
also served as a wakeup call to Jazz. His whole outlook on life changed.
After Tony made amends with his family, Jazz seemed to be at peace. Although
they had their differences, Jazz was finally able to let go of the past. He
understood that Tony did things the only way he knew how and was able to
forgive him. Curtis coming into his life had a positive effect. Jazz is happy
to know that his mother is happy. All in all through the lies, deceit,
betrayal, dare I say it but there was an undercurrent of love that served as a
common thread.
The day
finally arrived for the movie premier. Surprisingly I wasn’t nervous. About a
week before, I was paranoid about whether or not the critics would give it a
thumb’s up or give a bad review. With this being my first big role,
reviews mean a lot. Everybody flew in the day before to meet me in Hollywood. I
was already there doing some last minute promo work for the movie.
As I finished
all of my last minute grooming, I began to wonder where Jazz was. He had left
earlier in the day saying he had some important errands to run. I waited as
long as I could for him to come back, but I had to leave so I wouldn’t be late
my own movie premier. I hoped Jazz would be at Grauman’s when I got there but
he was nowhere to be found. Jazz of all people knew how important that night
was. I began to think something happened to him. At the last possible
moment I got out of the limo and prepared to make my “red carpet” entrance.
About halfway down the carpet, a group of reporters asked the usual interview
questions. Who are you wearing? Are you excited? How do you feel about your
newfound fame? The last reporter asked,
“Did you
decide to attend tonight’s premier solo?”
“No, not
tonight.”
“Well who
might I ask is the lucky someone who gets to accompany the movie’s star?”
As soon as
the reporter asked the question, I felt someone walk up behind me and grab my
hand. Then I heard an unmistakable voice say, “That lucky person
would be me.” Jazz said.
Then he
suddenly grabbed me and gave me a passionate kiss with so much intensity I got
weak in the knees. The numerous spectators were just as speechless as I was. He
then took my hand in his and we strolled down the carpet as if nothing
happened. It took a moment to come back to my senses. Jazz had basically just
come out publicly on the red carpet. Little did I know there was another big
surprise waiting for me later.
I decided to
be “out” from the beginning of my career. I felt if it were revealed from the
beginning people could go ahead and get over it and move on. It was also my
strategy to beat the tabloids at their own game. That way I’d never have to
worry down the line about somebody trying to turn my life into tabloid fodder.
If everybody already knew, then there was no gossip value. Where there’s no
gossip value, there’s no Tee!
Jazz on the
other hand had been on guard watching his every move in order to protect his
career in hip-hop and maintain his thug image. He soon found out how stressful
and dark the “closet” can be sometimes. He’d told me once that he envied the
freedom I enjoyed because of my honesty and he wished to be as brave as I was.
Many people
think secrecy will be the best and easiest solution but find out otherwise.
That secrecy walls you in and pretty soon the walls close in on you. So it
actually ends up being the hardest solution because you can never let your
guard down, be yourself, and enjoy your life. I’ve always been determined to
live my life on my terms. Everyone has their own life and if everyone spent
their time living their own life, they wouldn’t have time to try to live mine!
The movie
received a great response and received a 2-minute standing ovation when it was
over. I felt warm inside, like I’d finally “arrived”. After the screening, I
performed a song from the movie and then Jazz and I did the song featured on
the soundtrack. The performance was going great. I was in good voice. Then all
of a sudden, the instrumental backing track abruptly stopped in the middle of
the song, and all the lights went off. A couple of seconds later a lone spot
light came on. The light was trained on Jazz as he knelt on the stage.
“Zeke I love
you more than words can say. You have been my rock and my comfort. I can’t
imagine going through this life without you by my side. So, umm, baby will you
do me the honor of traveling by my side, committed, and united together on this
journey called life? Cause Zeke, it don’t mean nothing if I can’t love you each
and every step of the way. I need you.” He said as his eyes began to tear up a
little.
I reached
down and wiped a tear from his face, then took his hand as he stood.
“Jazz I
belong with you, wherever you are, because my heart lies with you. So wherever
this journey takes us, I’m right there with you all the way.”
Talk about
being shocked! I couldn’t believe he’d done that. It was true to the theme of
New Beginnings indeed. I was brought back to reality by the applause in
response to his “proposal”. That might not have happened if we were anywhere
else, but Hollywood is a different ball game altogether.
After the
premier there was a cast after party that I really didn’t feel like attending
but I had to. That’s the only thing about trying to make a successful career in
entertainment you must seize every opportunity for exposure in the press. Jazz
went to the party with me and we’d agreed we would make an early exit so we
could have a private celebration of our own. Jazz and I went back to the hotel
to meet up with Gloria, Curtis, Rachel, and Alton. We decided to celebrate New
Beginnings over dinner at Mr. Chows.
“Jazz, you
shocked all of us with your little moment. I was getting ready to get you. You
had Zeke walking around here looking all sad and shit like he’d lost his best
friend. You redeemed yourself though so I forgive you. You two are so obviously
meant for each other. I hope you both have the best, fullest, most insanely
happy life possible.” Alton said.
“Yeah I’m
sorry about that Zeke. I ain’t mean to be so late but I had to get everything
set up beforehand, ya know with the lighting man and then to have them to cut
the backing track at the right time. You were surprised huh? I meant every word
too Zeke. I love you so much. Damn look at me about to cry and shit.”
“I knew it
had to be a good reason, Jazz. I love you too. I can’t wait to get back home
either.”
“Well, I
guess this is a perfect time to say something I’ve wanted to say. Gloria I am
believer in things happening for a reason. I don’t always know what the reasons
are, but I believe there is one for everything. 20 years ago someone tried to
destroy the love between us. We may have been apart but my love has only grown
stronger. I say it was a test and I passed. I still love you and now that God
has answered my daily prayer to have you back in my life I refuse to ever let
anyone or anything take me away ever again. Gloria, will you marry me and make
our family complete?” Curtis proposed.
“Curtis, do
you even have to ask? Of course I will.” She responded.
Rachel then
decided to speak.
“All this
love has me feeling warm inside. Congratulations to everybody. Alton, honey I
never even thought such an “enchanted” life was possible but being with you has
proven me so wrong. I know you had been praying and holding steadfast to your
faith asking for the one thing you wanted so badly, a happy, loving family.”
Rachel then
took a pause and reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope before she
continued,
“Last week I
got this and I think this is the perfect opportunity to show it to you.”
She handed
the envelope to Alton. He slowly opened it with curiosity. Alton pulled out a sheet
with colored images on it. He looked confused because he didn’t know what it
was. Rachel then began to explain the piece of paper to him.
“Alton, you
are looking at the first image of the expansion of your family.”
“What?
Y-Y-Y-Yo-You- Um-Um- you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, that is
an image of your son Alton!”
“Oh Rachel,
baby I don’t know what to say.”
“Well Alton,
don’t say anything just yet.” She said.
“Huh?”
She continued
her explanation,
“This is our
testimony that patience and faith yields abundant blessings because, this is
your son, this is your son, and this is also your son.” She explained as she
pointed to the three images.
“I am
pregnant with triplets, three boys.” She explained.
Alton shouted
an exuberant “Hallelujah!” and hugged his beautiful wife tightly as he smiled!
“Damn, Alton
you did that!” Jazz remarked.
I couldn’t
really form words to express my feelings. Alton’s good news was also my good
news because it was the same as if it were happening for me. Actually it was
happening for me, that’s just how closely bonded Alton and I are. We share each
other’s trials, tribulations, and successes.