Authors: Michael Lewis
“Okay
everybody pick up your glasses. I wanna toast to all of these wonderful
blessings. To New Beginnings!”
Twenty One
From the Narrator
As Ezekiel,
Jazz, Gloria, Curtis, Alton, and Rachel attended the premier of Zeke’s new
movie and celebrated their New Beginnings, Elias, Nadiah, Ingrid, and Jamal
were elsewhere experiencing much different fates.
Jamal sat in
his new home, a jail cell, which was the result of selfish choices he made as
he lived his self- justified hedonistic lifestyle. Since going to jail for the
ruthless and brutal murder of Marlena, his estranged wife, he’d had plenty of
time think. Jail had forced him into a retrospective review of his life.
Looking at the choices he’d made, the people he’d hurt, and the general lack of
compassion he’d projected all throughout his life, he grew increasingly
disgusted at the man he’d become.
When he
entered into the “Lavender Marriage” with Marlena she was none the wiser.
She thought she’d met a man who was perfect for her. He was gorgeous, employed,
well spoken, passionate, and a good lover. She never knew that he’d only
married her for his own greed both sexual and material. Jamal never questioned
his sexuality. From his first sexual stirrings he knew he was undoubtedly
attracted to men. He also became a wonderful “actor”, switching personalities
at the drop of a hat depending on whichever the situation warranted.
Jamal was
attracted to the abundance of gay entertainers and colleagues to which Marlena
had access. This along with her high salary and position of power made Jamal
feel like a kid in a candy store. Her long hours kept her busy and out of his
hair as far as questioning his comings and goings. She’d long ago learned to
hide her emotional needs by not acknowledging them. As long as he sexually
satisfied her, she was convinced of her illusion of happiness.
Never a
person to succumb to love or its trappings, Jamal was able to “fuck and go”
with no emotional attachment or guilt. He’d relied on that trait to keep him
emotionally free as he pursued a never-ending supply of casual sexual
encounters. His plan hit a snag when he encountered Ezekiel Nelson. Jamal fell
fast and he fell hard, in love with Ezekiel. He tried to fight his feelings, to
subdue them, but nothing worked. Soon he found himself professing his love to
Zeke. The situation exploded when he could no longer lead a double life. He
admitted his sexuality to Marlena and told her about the affair he’d been
having with his unsuspecting new partner.
It was then
that all of the feelings of emotional neediness, inadequacy, betrayal, and
every insecurity that had been safely hidden for years came rushing to
Marlena’s brain flooding it with reality. She refused to divorce him and became
hell-bent on making him suffer while living out every single sexual impulse,
need, or want she’d ever felt, thought about, or imagined.
Jamal moved
out and continued his relationship with Zeke. The week before their first
Valentine’s Day, Jamal poured out his heart to Zeke expressing his feelings.
He’d jumped into it with both feet. It didn’t even take a whole day before
Jamal’s anti-love, anti-guilt, and anti-emotional attachment trait kicked in
and he panicked. He looked at all he was giving up with Marlena and wondered if
it was worth it. Then he wondered if he could be faithful to Zeke. That
confusion led him to seduce Zeke’s best friend as a fright reaction.
Once
presented with the reality that because of his actions he’d lost his money and
his honey he embraced his denial and became determined to force his life’s cast
to operate as he wanted them to. That plan backfired and he lost his mental
stability because he’d prepared for no other outcome than the one he wanted.
Hindsight is 20/20 and as he sat in the recreation room, Zeke’s image came on
television. It was Entertainment Tonight and they were reporting on the movie
Zeke was starring in. The host then reported on Jazz’s proposal to Zeke as the
highlight of the evening saying it almost overshadowed the premier.
As Jamal
watched in horror, a couple of fellow inmates made some comments that got next
to him.
“Damn look at
that man. That motherfucker Zeke Nelson, better not ever get locked up, especially
if I’m close. Man that ass is fat! Slade is a lucky son of a bitch. I
know he be all in that!”
“That ass is
nice. He used to date that crazy cop nigga that killed his ex-wife, that
Marlena Dalton. I heard she just lost it when she found out that hubby was a
fudge packer. She turned into a Supa Ho,cause she didn’t care anymore.”
Neither of
the men saw Jamal, or even knew that he was the man they were talking about. He
knew better than to try to challenge them. He also knew better than to identify
himself as Zeke’s ex-boyfriend because he would have an invisible “bitch”
stamped on his asshole for sure. He got up and walked out with his head down,
making sure no one saw his tears. In his cell he thought about the picture of
Zeke and Jazz hugging over and over again.
The next
morning the guard came around to wake all the inmates up for the cell check and
breakfast. The guard came to Jamal’s cell and hit the bars.
“Alright,
rise and shine! Hey ……” He stopped in mid-sentence.
“Oh Shit! Hey
I think you better come here Davis.” He said to his supervisor.
The guard
shook his head as he looked at Jamal’s limp, lifeless body suspended in the air
with his sheet tied around his neck in a makeshift noose. Unfortunately, Jamal
decided he couldn’t face anymore of his past and after seeing Zeke and Jazz
more committed to each other than ever before, he couldn’t face his future
either.
Nadiah
Valentine’s
Day was going to be an adventure in unfamiliar territory. I didn’t know what to
buy or what to do since I’d never really put much thought into a man’s gift.
I’ve always been on the receiving end. A symbolic gesture like a thoughtful
gift would show that I was making a genuine effort. I ended up damn near buying
up the whole store to make a big gift basket. Everything Anthony could ever
want was in there. I put in a bottle of 1995 vintage Dom Pérignon Rosé, Gourmet
Chocolates, house shoes, silk boxers, candy, massage oil, and as a surprise I
got him the gold chain he’d had his eye on.
He’d gone to
Memphis for business and wasn’t due home until about 10 P.M. That gave me
plenty of time to make the basket and hide it really well. I’d often wondered
why people got so excited around Valentine’s Day. Finally I understood after
being on the presenting end for the first time. I was getting ready to go pick
Anthony up from the airport when he called me on my cell phone.
“Hey babe,
have you left the house yet?”
“No, I was
just about to.”
“I caught an
earlier flight and my boy picked me up, so I am on my way home now. You can stay
home.”
“Okay, see
you when you get here.”
“Alright.”
It seemed
like he got there in the next 10 minutes. He came in and kissed me but it was a
weird kiss. It wasn’t like he usually kissed me. It was rough and felt like he
was trying to ram his tongue down my throat. He hugged me and damn near
squeezed the life out of me.
“Ahh baby,
I’m beat. I’m gonna take a shower and get in the bed.”
“Ok.”
While he was
in the shower I figured I’d unpack his bag so he could just go to bed. As I
pulled the items out, a condom fell out of the tangled mass of clothes. I
decided not to worry about it but then when I pulled the papers out, on top of
the heap was a hotel receipt. It showed a checkout for the previous day. He
came out of the shower and into the bedroom. As he stood at the end of the bed
drying off I asked him about the condom.
“When you
were in the shower, I unpacked your bag for you so you wouldn’t have to worry
about it.”
“Thanks
babe.”
“When I was
getting the clothes out a condom fell out.”
“Yeah.”
“Well I know
it’s not yours.”
“No it’s not
mine.”
“Whose is it
then?”
“Belongs to a
friend of mine. What you think I lied and spent the weekend with someone?”
“No, but
what’s it doing in your bag?”
“When my boy picked
me up from the airport, he asked me to hide it so it wouldn’t be in his car in
case his girl looked.”
“So you are
helping him cheat?”
“I ain’t
helping him do anything. He’s a grown man and he’s a friend of mine. What he’s
doing with his dick is none of my business and I am not gonna judge him. He did
me a favor by picking me up and I returned it by putting that stuff in my bag,
end of story, no more no less.”
“Okay. You
answered my question. That’s all I wanted to know.”
“Cool.”
His story was
B.S. It was just too convenient. He was too cool, like he had already planned
what he would say in case I found the stuff. I didn’t have any reason not to
believe him so I pushed it to the back of my mind for further investigation.
“You ready
for tomorrow?” I asked.
“V-Day? Yeah
how about you?”
“I’m ready.
You’re gonna love what I got you.”
“Likewise.”
I closed my
eyes in an effort to go to sleep. Within minutes he was sleep and snoring
lightly. Of course I couldn’t sleep a wink because I was trying to guess what he
could have gotten me for Valentine’s Day. Finally I managed to get a few hours
of sleep before time to get up and go to work. I showered, dressed, made
coffee, and Anthony was still out like a light and didn’t even wake up.
All day at
work I was restless and anxious for the day to be over so I could go home and
get my present. It was killing me that I didn’t have a clue what it was.
Finally about three o’clock I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to play
sick. I clocked out at 3:05 P.M. and was in my car starting up at 3:07 P.M. A
sista was hoofin’ it across the parking lot.
When I got
home there was a car in the driveway but I didn’t think anything of it. I
figured it was a client, since Anthony was working from home that day. I’d
grabbed the mail on the way in. After I put my keys down, I decided to look
through the mail to see if there was anything important. Anxiously I grabbed
Anthony’s Valentine’s gift from the secret hiding place I’d stashed it in.
All of a
sudden I heard a loud grunt come from the back of the house. Immediately I went
in search of the sound I’d heard, figuring that maybe Anthony was hurt or
something. The closer I got to the bedroom door, the more interesting the
sounds became. I placed my hand on the doorknob and was about to turn it when I
heard something that made me stop.
“You want it?
Huh?”
“Hell yeah I
want it girl.” I heard Anthony plead.
“Well you
gotta ask mommy real nice then.”
“Please give
it to me, chica.”
“Ok, I guess
you’ve been a good boy.”
“I’m about
lay it down, girl.”
When I opened
the door what I saw confirmed what I’d already figured out. I stood there in
shock as I focused on the bed. Anthony was on his hands and knees in the bed.
He gripped the shoulders of the woman in front of him firmly as he pushed himself
forward. Each forceful thrust of his hips brought forth a deep, husky moan from
Anthony that dripped with sexual intensity. His muscles twisted and turned
beneath his buttery brown, lust-moistened skin with each movement of his body.
Had I been a
different kind of woman I probably would have jumped up and down, ranted and
raved, or collapsed on the floor in a blubbering heap, but I didn’t. It was
payback I figured, but that didn’t mean I welcomed it. I was pissed that after
the effort I’d put forth to change my life and be a better person something
like that would happen to me. I felt betrayed. As I stood there speechless, I
dropped his valentine’s basket on the floor. The sound of the falling basket
alerted them of my presence. When the woman in front of Anthony turned toward
me, I gasped loudly at the sight of her face. It was obvious that she was not
as shocked to see me, as I was to see her.
“What in the
hell is going on?”
“Well if you
have to ask…?” She remarked sarcastically.
“Ingrid what
the hell are you doing?”
“I am testing
out the goods to see what he’s got that I don’t.”
Anthony
wasn’t the least bit remorseful that I’d caught him. I just stood there in
disbelief.
“You know you
could join in Nadiah, and make things really hot. This is my Valentine’s gift.
You wanted me to accept your friend, so I did. We’re just getting acquainted.”
Anthony said.
Ingrid looked
at me, smiled, then bent her body forward and resumed her earlier position.
She seemed to
take sadistic pleasure in fucking my husband in front of me. Her eyes never
left mine as she forcefully pushed her hips back to meet his thrusts
repeatedly. The louder he moaned the wider her sinister smile grew. Refusing to
watch anymore, I picked up the gift and left the room. No sooner than I walked
out I heard a series of slaps and moans. Ingrid began to scream out Anthony’s
name and he growled in response.
When I looked
down at the velvet box in my hand I became even angrier. I calmly went to the
storage shed in the backyard and grabbed the gasoline can. I brought it inside
and saturated the carpet outside the bedroom door. I poured a trail of gasoline
from the bedroom door down the entire hallway. I lit a candle on the small console
table at the end of the hallway. I then gathered a few items, namely the bank
books and everything related to the finances. As a final touch, I filled a
large paper bowl with gasoline and placed it in front of the bedroom door. I
went outside and threw the gas can in my trunk, started the car, and left it
running in the driveway. I came back inside and “accidentally” tipped the
candle over causing it to fall on the floor, the fire immediately combusted
with the gasoline. Once the fire gained momentum and proceeded up the hallway,
I exited the house quickly.