Ghost Detectors Volume 1 (10 page)

“But I see him! I swear I'm not making this up. I would never waste your time,” Malcolm pleaded.

The skinny cop looked around and asked, “What is that annoying beeping?”

Malcolm looked down at the waistband of his jeans. His specter detector was suddenly going berserk.

The driver snorted. “Toys. Let's go, Jake,” he said to the bowling ball cop. They trudged away.

Malcolm looked at Dandy. Dandy looked at Malcolm. They both looked down at the ghost detector. Then Malcolm dared another peek in through the kitchen window.

The figure had moved closer to the window now. Malcolm could make out every detail of his transparent face.

The man grinned at Malcolm and mouthed, “I'm gonna get you.”

“G
uess we don't have to go on a ghost hunt now, huh?” Dandy said, squirming around. Brom and Bowser were back, looking up at him with begging eyes.

“Yeah, but we only have the ghost detector with. I forgot to bring the ghost zapper,” Malcolm complained.

“So now what?” Dandy asked, still wiggly.

“We come back after dinner,” Malcolm said. “We can zap that ugly mullet then.”

“We're not going in now?” Dandy asked with a relieved sigh.

“No,” Malcolm answered. “We have to prepare.”

“Good,” Dandy said, wriggling like crazy. “‘Cause I have to use the bathroom.”

•
    
•
    
•

That evening Malcolm ripped into his fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He was eager to get a move on since this was his big chance to test the ghost zapper.

He was also eager to get away from the table. Cocoa had stayed outside too long and now had big white circles around her eyes where her sunglasses had been. She looked like a giant strawberry with a fungus.

“I'd rather have jellybeans!” Grandma Eunice complained through the entire meal. Malcolm shoveled his food down quickly to get away as fast as possible. The last thing he needed was for his mom to say he had to stay home with his grandma tonight.

He couldn't help but worry though. The ghost told him, “I'm gonna get you.” Malcolm didn't take kindly to threats. Not even ghost threats. But he definitely had to proceed with caution.

The late afternoon sun hung low in the west. One thin cloud crossed it so it looked like a basketball sailing though the net. It was still a couple of hours 'til dark.

Malcolm waited for Dandy in the Millers'
front yard. He had already turned the ghost detector to On so it'd be warmed up and ready.

Dandy approached commando style, ducking behind shrubs and the gate. He was wearing earmuffs and tinted safety goggles. He looked like a scientist CIA operative in the Arctic.

“What's all that for?” Malcolm asked.

“Huh?” Dandy said.

Malcolm removed the earmuffs. “What's with the extra gear?”

“The detector hypnotized me last time. I didn't want to take any chances.”

Dandy made a good point. “I think it might be okay as long as you don't look at the blinking light too long,” Malcolm explained.

“Oh,” Dandy said, disappointed. “Can I keep the goggles on? They make everything look like I'm underwater.” He did a mock breaststroke.

“Sure,” Malcolm said. They headed around back.

Dandy stopped to pet the dogs. “Hey, Bowser. Hey, Brom.”

Brom answered with a burpy-sounding bark.

“Shhhh!” Malcolm warned. “We want the element of surprise.”

Dandy grinned. “I love surprises.”

“Not a surprise for us, Dandy. We want to surprise the ghost . . . catch him off guard.”

Dandy nodded, putting a finger to his lips. Then, the boys tiptoed toward the window.

Malcolm heard a yipping noise and looked toward the doghouse. There stood the small white dog. He was shaking.

Malcolm decided to check on the pooch once the Millers' ghost had been zapped. The poor thing looked frightened.

Malcolm peered into the window. Nothing was there. He scanned the entire kitchen.

“You see anything?” Dandy whispered.

“Not yet.”

Malcolm's gaze moved to the open area that went from the kitchen to the living room. There, the ghost was lounging on the sofa, staring at the blank TV.

“Wait! I see him. Looks like he's watching ghost TV.”

“Neat!” Dandy said. “I wonder what they show on that channel . . .”

Malcolm motioned Dandy closer. “We have to find a way in.”

They tried the window. Locked.

They tried the back door. Locked.

“We could slide down the chimney,” Dandy suggested.

“That's too dangerous.”

Dandy shrugged. “Maybe for you. But I'm wearing safety goggles, remember?”

“I've got a better idea,” Malcolm told him. He stepped up onto the plastic container of dog food and ran his fingers along the top of the back door.

“Not there,” he said. He jumped down and lifted the doormat. Nothing. Then he shoved the large dog food container aside. There it was—a shiny brass key.

Malcolm held it up in triumph. “See? This is better than sliding down the chimney.”

Dandy shrugged. Malcolm could tell that Dandy was a tad disappointed. He knew Dandy had been ready to see how it felt to be Santa Claus.

As quietly as humanly possible, Malcolm slipped the key in and unlocked the door.

C
lick!
Malcolm opened the door in slow-motion, careful of what might jump out. He looked left . . . then right. All clear.

He gently placed a foot inside. That's when Bowser and Brom decided to serenade them with some lonesome howls. It all felt too eerie to Malcolm.

Dandy crept in behind Malcolm and was about to shut the door. “Wait,” Malcolm whispered. “Let's leave it open . . . just in case.”

“In case of what?” Dandy whispered back, his goggles crooked on his face.

Malcolm wanted to say, “In case we have to make a run for it.” But he didn't want to sound like a coward. “I think it's just safer that way,” he said instead.

Dandy cocked his head to the side. “But what if the ghost gets out?”

“Then it probably won't haunt the Millers' house anymore and our job will be done.”

Dandy looked thoughtful. “But I thought we're here to zap it, not chase it away.” He made a vibrating motion like he was being zapped.

“We are,” Malcolm argued. “But let's keep our options open, okay?”

“Okay,” Dandy agreed. “We'll keep the door open . . . just like our options.”

They tiptoed across the kitchen. Malcolm had his ghost detector at the ready. The amber light bleeped one pulse per second, meaning there was no ghost activity at the moment.

“Here's the plan,” he whispered. “Once the ghost shows himself, I'll whip out the zapper and spray. Easy, right?”

“Shouldn't you keep it aimed?” Dandy wondered.

“I can draw it out fast,” Malcolm said. He flipped his arm quickly to show Dandy his speed.

“But I thought you had to shake it first,” Dandy reminded him.

“I'll shake it as I pull it out.”

“You want me to hold it?” Dandy asked, adjusting his goggles.

“No! What if he recognizes what it is? It'll scare him off and we won't have a chance to zap him.”

Dandy scrunched his face, confused. “Then he'll run out the kitchen door and our job will be done, right?”

“Just stay with me,” Malcolm said, once again moving across the kitchen floor. Butterflies danced in his belly.

Bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . .

Malcolm moved cautiously, aiming the detector. He pointed it everywhere. At the oven. The refrigerator. The microwave.

“You think the ghost could be hiding in there?” Dandy asked.

Malcolm nodded. “Ghosts can fold themselves into anything.”

“Really? ‘Cause I saw a girl once at a magic show who could fold herself up and crawl into a cereal box.”

“That was an illusion, Dandy. She didn't really fit into the cereal box.”

“She could have,” he said. “There wasn't any cereal in it.”