Authors: Lauren Barnholdt
“Cool,” he says, letting out a breath in one big whoosh. Is it possible he was nervous about asking me to hang out? “So, um, can you ride my bus home with me?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I'll just have to ask my dad.” He'll say yes, right? He has to!
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He does. Say yes, I mean. The only problem? He has, like, five million different conditions, including the following:
He has to pick me up before dinner. Which is actually fine with me, since I don't really want to have to eat dinner with Brandon and his family. I mean, that would be kind of awkward, wouldn't it? I'd be so nervous! What if his mom didn't
like me? What if I left and she was all, “Brandon! I cannot believe you brought that girl home. I think my son can do a lot better than
her.
She had some sort of ridiculous chopsticks in her hair!” And then Brandon would be like, “Mom, you're right. I think I'm going to ask someone else out, someone with more normal hair who's smarter at math.”
My dad has to be able to call Brandon's parents to make sure it's okay with them and that they're going to be home. Which is actually a little bit insulting, because there's no way that I would lie to my dad about Brandon's parents being home. But I guess since I lied to him the other day about being at the library, he's kind of suspicious of me. And I guess I deserve it. The good thing is that Brandon doesn't even care that my dad wants to talk to his parents, and he texts me his dad's cell number so that my dad can call him. Yay!
My dad called Cindy to ask if she thought it was okay for me to go to Brandon's. (This one isn't actually a condition, but it should def still be on the list since it
is
a problem.) Luckily, it sounded like Cindy was all for it and told my dad it was perfectly normal for me to be interested in hanging out with boys and blah, blah, blah. I'm glad she said yes, but I really do
not
want my dad to check in with Cindy every time I want to do something. And her getting involved in my love life, even if she is on my side, is a little too close for comfort.
“Whatever you do, don't kiss him first,” Daniella says to me on the way out of school. I almost choke on my Jolly Rancher.
“Who said anything about kissing?” I say. “There's not going to be any kissing. We're just going to be studying!”
She gives me a look like
That's what you think
, which starts the fireworks in my stomach all over again.
“When are you going to be able to go back and talk to Jen again?” she asks as we walk through the crowd of kids in the hallway. Luckily, it's so loud and crazy that no one notices that I seem to be talking to myself.
“I don't know. Tomorrow, maybe? Oh, no, wait. I can't tomorrow. Ellie has a dance recital, and I promised her I'd go.” I shift my bag onto my other arm. “And let's get back to the kissing, please.”
“A dance recital?” Daniella says, obviously so self-centered that she can't focus on the more important issue, i.e., the potential kissing that could take place at Brandon's. “Kendall, my moving on to wherever it is I'm supposed to go is more important than some stupid dance recital.”
“It's not stupid,” I say. “And besides, I need to give Jen a cooling-off period. She thinks I'm psychotic.”
“She doesn't need to cool off!” Daniella says. She puts her hands on her hips. “You need to do something! You know, this isn't very fair, you just taking off to hang out
with boys when you could be helping me. You're pretty selfish, Kendall.”
“No, I'm not,” I say, keeping my voice steady, even though all I want to do is yell at her. “You don't understand how this works. You need to trust me.”
But before she can say anything back, she just . . . fades away. I guess I stressed her out. Whatever. I don't even feel that bad about it, because she doesn't know what she's talking about. The last thing I need is for Jen to start thinking I'm some kind of stalker or something. What if she calls the police? Or tells her parents that I've been bothering her, and then they call my dad? I mean, talk about a big fat mess. And what's up with Daniella calling me selfish? I'm trying to help her, but it's going to take time. She needs to chill.
“Hey,” Brandon says, walking up to where I'm standing at the side of the school in front of the row of buses. “You ready?”
“Yes,” I say. I smooth down my shirt and start following him to his bus. It's weird, being out here with Brandon, in front of everyone. I mean, everyone around us is just passing by, on their way to their own buses, not really paying any attention to us. I was kind of hoping that they'd at least
notice
we were together. Not that it's important for people to notice us. It would just be, you know, more dramatic.
“Bus pass?” the bus driver asks when I step on. And she doesn't
sound too happy about it either. There's a moment when I panic, because I seem to have misplaced my pass, but after a few minutes and a few sighs, I find it underneath the cover of one of my notebooks.
There aren't enough empty seats on the bus, so Brandon and I can't sit together. I'm disappointed at first (how cute would it be for us to be sitting together, knees touching, heads together while we talk?), but then I realize it's actually okay, since it gives me time to collect my thoughts.
I end up sitting with this girl June Melfi, who is pretty annoying and kind of a blabbermouth, but her constant chatter calms me down, and by the time we get to Brandon's house, I'm not nervous at all. Well, maybe a little. But nowhere near what I was earlier.
I text Ellie right before I get off the bus.
At B's house! Will cll u later xxo.
And then I take a deep breath and follow Brandon off the bus and into his house.
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“Brandon has a
girrrrrllll
over.” Hmmm. Brandon failed to mention he has a crazy little sister. Seriously, I think the girl might be a bit deranged. And that's saying a lot, coming from me. I mean, I can see ghosts.
First, it's how she's dressed. Like a ninja. Which is fine. I mean, I'm all for girl ninjas. But I do think that maybe you need to tone it down a little bit if you're having people over. She's
about one second away from karate-chopping me.
“Grace,” Brandon says, taking off his coat and hanging it on the rack next to the door. “Please don't karate-chop Kendall.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I don't really want to be chopped.” Brandon holds his hand out for my coat, and I hand it to him.
“What's the matter?” Grace taunts. “Are you afraid?” She gets into a karate stance and holds up her hands like she's ready for a good chop.
“No,” I say, even though I kind of am. “I just don't feel like it right now.”
“Dad!” Grace screams, suddenly turning around and galloping off into the living room. “Dad, Dad, Daddy! Brandon has his
girlllfriend
with him!”
God, this is way worse than the stuff I imagined about his mom not liking me. A crazy eight-year-old who thinks she's a ninja, and that I'm Brandon's girlfriend? Not that I mind being called his girlfriend. I sneak a look at him out of the corner of my eye, to see how he's reacting to being called my boyfriend. He seems a little . . . annoyed. Of course, that could definitely just be because Grace is annoying, and aren't all older brothers usually annoyed by their little sisters?
“Hello,” Brandon's dad says, coming out of the living room to meet me and Brandon as we walk into the kitchen. He's tall, and he looks pretty much just like Brandon. He's
wearing a flannel shirt spotted with paint, and he's blinking hard, like the light is bothering him. “Sorry, I was working and I got caught up.” He looks down at his shirt with a confused look on his face, like he can't imagine where all that paint came from.
“Dad's an illustrator for children's books,” Brandon explains, “and sometimes he gets lost in his work.”
“That's okay,” I say. “Hi, I'm Kendall. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Dunham.”
“Please,” he says, “call me John.”
“Okay.” Yay! John! He wants me to call him John! Already on a first-name basis with the dad! That can only be a good sign.
“Would you kids like a snack?” Mr. Dunham asks. He crosses the room to the refrigerator and peers inside. “We have a veggie tray with dip, some crackers . . .” He opens the freezer. “Frozen potato skins, frozen mozzarella sticks, frozen zucchini balls . . .”
Frozen zucchini balls? That doesn't sound all that appetizing. On the other hand, the rest of the frozen food sounds great. My dad never lets us have stuff like that. Well, usually not. That's mostly because Cindy sent him this article about how eating organic is so much better, and how if you let your children eat processed foods they go crazy and become serial killers. Of course, that doesn't stop him from sneaking stuff himself every once in a while.
“Potato skins?” Brandon asks, looking at me.
“Perfect.” I grin. God, we are so in sync! It's like we have some kind of psychic connection. What are the chances that we'd both want potato skins?
“I'm going to have some too!” Grace screams. Then she pokes me with a plastic sword that she's pulled out from somewhere.
“No, Grace,” Mr. Dunham (John?) says. “You and I are going to go into the living room and let Brandon and Kendall study in here.”
“NO!” Grace says. “I. WANT. POTATO SKINS.” She pokes me again with the sword, a little harder this time. Ouch.
“Grace,” I try, “how about when the skins are ready, we bring you some? Would that be okay? And then maybe after Brandon and I are done with our homework, we can play ninja.” Please, please, please let us have so much homework that we don't have time to play ninja.
“I'm not a ninja!” Grace says. “I'm a karate master.”
“Well, then we can play karate master.” I think about adding “just as long as I'm not the victim” but decide to get into the specifics later.
She thinks about it. “Okay,” she finally says. Then she grabs her dad's hand. “Come on,” she says. “I want to watch a movie.”
Once they're gone, Brandon smiles at me apologetically.
“Sorry.” He reaches down into one of the cabinets and pulls out a cookie sheet. I open the box of potato skins and start laying them neatly on the sheet as Brandon turns on the oven.
“Oh, it's no problem,” I say. “She's cute.” And she is. If you like hyperactivity. I don't, but whatevs. I can't exactly say that to him. No one wants to hear something bad about their little sister. Besides, why would I ruin this moment? It's so cozy in here, cooking with Brandon. I place another potato skin on the sheet and look around the kitchen.
It's done in butter yellow and white, and opens up into the dining room. It's cheerful and bright, and there's a picture of Brandon's family hanging on the wall in the dining room. How cute! It's a family portrait, with a light blue background and the whole family dressed up and smiling. Grace looks like she's about four, and Brandon's maybe nine? I wonder if my dad and I should get our picture taken to hang on the wall of our house. Like, a professional one. Of course, it would only be the two of us, soâ
Oh. My. God. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. I drop a potato skin onto the sheet and swallow hard. Because I just noticed something about the picture of Brandon and his family. It's his mom. Oh, she looks perfectly fine as far as moms go. Except for one thing. She's the ghost who was in my room last night, telling me to add myself to the green paper.
Okay. There is no
need to panic. First, it might not even be her. I actually have very bad eyesight sometimes. Especially when it's dark and I'm squinting and half asleep. It could have been anyone in my room. I mean, what are the chances that the ghost who showed up last night is BRANDON'S MOM? And that she would be so scary and aggressive?
That's just crazy. Especially since a ghost connected to someone I know has never come asking for help before. Not that I know that many people who've died. And not that I really know Brandon's mom. But still. A nagging thought comes into my head, one of those thoughts that you want to do your best to ignore but know you can't. A
thought about how if Mrs. Dunham was able to move those books last night, her energy must be really intense. Which means that whatever she had to say might have something to do with my connection to Brandon. But that's ridiculous, right? Why would she be interested in me and Brandon?
And besides, like I said, it's probably not even her. And I definitely shouldn't bring it up to Brandon. Because what if it
is
her? It means his mom is dead, and he might not want to talk about it, and then it would get all weird and awkward andâ
“I like that picture,” I say, pointing at it. Jeez. Way to be smooth, Kendall. “That's, um, a nice picture of your family.”
“Yeah,” he says, and he looks a little sad. A little sad like maybe his mom died? No. I'm sure I'm imagining it. “My mom died a few years ago.”
Well. That settles that. “Wow, I'm really sorry,” I say.
He shrugs. “Yeah,” he says. “She got sick, and then . . .” His voice trails off.
“That must have been . . . hard,” I say. His voice is kind of catching, and so now mine is too. I want to tell him not to worry about it, that people who die are actually okay, that they're not in pain, that for the most part they're totally happy. But obviously I can't tell him that, because then he'll think I'm psycho.
“Yeah,” he says. “Sheâ”
“ARE THOSE POTATO SKINS DONE YET?” Grace
yells from the other room. “And you better not eat all the sour cream, Brandon and his girlfriend, I forget what your name is!”