Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1) (20 page)

Antonio smiles at his father-in-law and assures
him she is ok and the doctors were with her.

Bella’s mom goes to Cruz and grabs him in the
same loving way she did to his brother.

“Oh, Raphael, you look so tired. I can’t believe
you drove all this way to see her. How are you?” She pinches his
cheek and looks at him adoringly. He gently takes her hands and
holds them close to his chest.

“I’m fine, Marcella. I just got off my late
shift and came here as soon as I got the call from Tony. She’s in
good hands. Don’t worry.”

She laughs at him and pats his face.

“Oh sweet boy, you tell me not to worry when I
can clearly see the worry lines already starting to form on your
face.”

She pauses, and I hear her say to him, “Does Rae
know? Did anyone tell her?” Cruz’s eyes go from Marcella’s straight
to mine with a look of doom. He swallows hard and reverts back to
introducing me to her.

“Marcella, I want you to meet my friend Harlow
Hannum. We live next to each other at the shore for the summer. She
came with me for the ride.”

Marcella turns to me with the warmest smile and
eyes glistening. She approaches me and engulfs me in a similar hug
she gave to Cruz and Antonio.

“Oh, mija, you are even prettier than Raphael
explained to me. Beautiful girl, for you to come all this way to be
with him, on this important day, you must be someone special.”

I have to bite my lip and turn my chin towards
the ground for fear my cheeks will become so red with
embarrassment. I’ll look like I was slapped in the face. Cruz comes
over to Marcella and pulls her from me.

“Ok, ok. That’s enough, silly woman.” Clearly
embarrassed himself, he takes my hand and leads me away from
Bella’s mom. He introduces me to Bella’s dad, Jorge. When I meet
him, he shakes my hand, then kisses the top and thanks me for being
here. I’m not doing anything really. I just came for the ride.
Still, their family’s warmth and acceptance of my friendship with
Cruz is heartfelt.

“Raphael, you still did not answer my question.
Do you know if Rae knows? Oh, God forbid if she does.” The sound of
panic in her voice is a bit disheartening, so I ask the question
out loud.

“Who is Rae, Cruz?” He ignores me and pulls
Marcella to the other side of the room. They are huddled in a
corner, and I can’t hear. The confusion sets into me as I see
Marcella look over Cruz’s shoulder to glance my way. If it’s a
family thing, that’s fine, but to me it seems a little more
secretive than that, and I have to remind myself that I am only
here for moral support, but in no way, shape or form will I let it
go, and Cruz already knows that this is the way I operate.

As they continue to talk, a doctor comes out and
asks Antonio to come with him. Cruz and Marcella come out of their
respective corner and join me and Jorge in the waiting room
chairs.

The room is silent, and the nagging feeling that
I need to ask Cruz who this Rae person is pulls at my brain.

Screw it.

I bend my ear to him and begin the question.

“Cruz, who is…” Before I can even answer, he
holds his hand up to me, stopping me from going any further with my
questioning.

“Not now, Harlow, ok?”

“Ok,” I answer him quietly.

Marcella and Jorge hold hands while the room
still remains silent. Cruz gets up every once in a while, clearly
nervous and clearly uncomfortable. A little while later Antonio
comes from behind a double door, dressed in those God awful green
scrubs. Everyone stands up when he enters.

“What’s going on mijo. How is my baby girl?”

He looks worried.

“The baby is stuck so they have to give her a
C-section, but don’t worry Marcella, she and the baby will be ok. I
can’t say I’m not worried, but I trust her doctor.”

Marcella starts to cry and Jorge goes to wrap
his arms around her shoulders.

“She will be fine, sweetheart. This happens all
the time, I’m sure.”

“All the time! Things like this happen all the
time? How can this be an ok thing, Jorge? What if she, what if the
baby…” Cruz yells and runs his hands fiercely through his hair.
This makes Marcella cry harder, and Jorge gives Cruz a stern look.
I step into his proximity, trying to calm him by taking his strong
face in my hands, making him look directly in my eyes.

“Raphael… Yes, I called you by your name. You
need to listen to me. This does happen every day. The doctors know
what’s best for Bella and the baby, and they know what is safe. You
need to trust them, and not upset her parents anymore.” I give him
a reassuring smile, and he’s receptive to it. Taking in a few
calming breaths and placing his hands on top of mine, he nods. He
apologizes to Jorge and Marcella, and they hug him and tell him
they understand why he’s upset. Antonio tells us he needs to go
back in to Bella in the operating room, and he will come out or
have someone tell us if there is any news. Before going back in,
Antonio and Cruz hug, tears welling up in Antonio’s eyes while Cruz
holds his brother’s face in his hands and kisses his cheek before
shoving him towards the large steel doors where his wife and unborn
baby wait for him.

Cruz explained to me before how Bella was his
first crush when they were kids, how she was the quintessential
‘older woman’, the one he followed around like a puppy dog, the one
who in those teenage years taught him the fundamentals of women.
Their likes and dislikes. What not to say. What not to do. How to
act in front of them, and how to play hard to get. She even taught
him kissing techniques, all the while pining for Antonio. Many a
fight broke out between the brothers. Cruz explained it was more of
an infatuation with Bella rather than love. He didn’t believe in it
like Antonio did and turns out Antonio won her heart. He says he’s
not capable of it, but what I’ve seen today in the eyes of Raphael
Cruz tells me otherwise.

We sit in this stuffy, smelly waiting room
watching odd women with swollen bellies being transported via
wheelchairs from elevators, beyond the big steel swinging doors
only operated by medical staff. I’m not even sure how long we’ve
been sitting here. I keep looking at Cruz, whose eyes are fixated
on the elevator doors. It reminds me to ask him first who Rae is,
and second what the fascination is with elevators? I feel my phone
buzz in my pocket, and I excuse myself and go to another waiting
room to take it because it’s a number I’m not sure I recognize.

“Hello, Harlow Hannum speaking.”

“Yes, good afternoon, Miss Hannum,” it’s a voice
I don’t know.

“My name is Greg Landberg and I’m the director
of human resources for the Grayson Elders School District. We
received your resume which indeed is outstanding and we would like
you to come in for a formal interview tomorrow. We understand that
it’s short notice, but we have an immediate opening.”

A job, this phone call is for a job. To teach.
In a school. In a classroom. A teacher. I need to tell Cruz.

My thoughts get away from me, and I really don’t
know how long it’s been since I muttered a word in response if any
at all.

“Oh, yes. I… I, um, oh Mr. Landberg, thank you
so very much. I would be more than pleased to come in for an
interview.”

My insides are dancing, strumming up all kinds
of over-charged emotions, but I must calm myself. It’s just an
interview. But this is my dream. To teach. I have every right to be
all piqued.

Then it hits me. Before I can even answer with
an ‘I’ll be there tomorrow’, I’m hit with the realization that if
things don’t go well in that operating room, I can’t leave Cruz
here. He needs me, and I can’t let him down.

“Mr. Landberg, unfortunately I do have a problem
coming in tomorrow.”

“That’s too bad, Miss Hannum, because your
references from your professors as well as your former employers
tends to make us believe that you would be such an asset to our
schools, granted our panel of principals who will be conducting the
interviews agree with what I have seen and heard.”

“I’m not currently in the area, and I’m helping
out a friend who has a family member in a medical crisis, and I’m
not sure how things are going to turn out you see.”

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Hospitals, smelly floors, yellowing wallpaper,
blood, heartache, pain, suffering, death. It’s all here, and I’m
trapped in it. Fuck.

“I understand, Miss Hannum, but unfortunately
tomorrow is the only day we will be conducting interviews. The
teachers need to report to their classrooms in preparation for the
new school year within two weeks.”

Saddened as I am that I may be making the
biggest mistake of my life, I look around the corner of the room
I’m in watching Cruz with his broadness and muscle rock back and
forth in that damn fraying chair like a baby, biting his lip,
blowing gusts of air from his lungs, and I know I can’t do it. I
can’t leave Cruz.

“Mr. Landberg, I’m so sorry but I’m going to
have to…” I hear a slam and a yell coming from the next waiting
room, so I peek around the corner, and I see Antonio jumping up and
down crying. “It’s a boy, a beautiful boy. He’s perfect. Bella’s
perfect. They are both perfect.” The brothers hug and laugh.
Bella’s parents cry and hug, and it’s jubilation amongst the tiny
family. Cruz searches for me and when he finds me, he smiles
broadly. His bright blue eyes shining like diamonds, and he motions
for me to come to him.

My heart warms, I feel a single tear fill my
eye, and the beat of my heart is steadfast. I feel peaceful in this
place of death and destruction.

“Mr. Landberg, what time did you say you needed
me there tomorrow?”

***

I’m holding this little thing in my arms.
He’s so small, so fragile, so… Absolutely amazing. I can feel my
hands shake as I cradle this, this person, yes, he’s a person.
Flesh and bone. Blood coursing through his veins. There are five
little fingers wrapped around my one big finger, so pink, so warm,
so real.

Matteo Cruz. My nephew.

I never believed in the good things that could
happen in life. I never imagined in this mixed up, fucked up world
something so miraculous could appear. He wasn’t here an hour ago,
and now here he is. All I’ve seen in my life is despair, death,
sadness, but just holding him makes all that disappear. It’s
nothing short of amazing. I look around this room watching my
brother and Bella staring at me holding him, ridiculous smiles on
their faces. I know what’s running through their heads. They have
so much hope for Matteo, so much love for him already and they
don’t even know him. How is that possible? To be that in love with
someone you don’t even know. I smile when I hear his little coos
and grunts. Damn, it’s cute. I stand up to hand him over to my
brother, but he stops me and turns to Harlow.

“Harlow, would you like to hold him?” She’s
silent, a little too silent with an unreadable expression on her
face. She shakes her head no.

“No, Antonio, thank you, this is a family thing.
You all enjoy him. I’m going to go make a phone call. He is
beautiful though. Congratulations.” She steps out of the room and
Bella and the rest of my family look a bit confused at her
reaction. I hand the baby over to Tony and tell them I’ll be right
back.

I walk out into the waiting room and she’s not
there. I look in the other waiting room, not there either. I head
downstairs and outside of the entrance to the hospital. I can see
her on the phone, but I can’t make out what she’s saying. As I step
closer, I can hear her say words like I can do this. I am strong. I
will get through this.

I interrupt her, startling her in the
process.

“Who ya talking to Turnip?” She turns and pulls
the phone away from her ear and presses end on the call.

“Oh, um… Willow. I was just checking in and I
was telling her about the baby.” I don’t believe her, but now is
not the time for questions. Maybe I’ll confront her on the way
home.

“He really is such a beautiful baby and Bella
and Antonio look so happy.”

I smile at the memory of the scene that was just
played out in that hospital room. Their dreams come true. First
falling in love, then getting married, and then the baby. That’s
all my brother ever wanted. A stable life, love, and a family to
call his own.

We just stand there on the front steps of the
hospital, surveying each other, wondering what to say next. Her
black rimmed glasses rest carefully on her nose, and she pushes
them up further as she takes in a breathe, her long strawberry
blonde strands blow wistfully around her, and I can smell the
approaching rain. So I continue to stand, speechless. My mind, on
the other hand, has plans of its own. I don’t even think about it,
or the consequences it may have, but something inside tells me to
do it, a force that’s uncontrolled by my brain, there’s some kind
of Jedimind-trick type force controlling it. I have no power over
my muscles, over my nerves, so I step towards her as she tucks a
strand of loose hair behind her ear and turns her head in a
different direction.

So I do it.

Her face cradled in my hands, my thumbs grazing
her cheeks, I feel her stiffen, and then, I touch my lips to
hers.

She gasps, but doesn’t pull away. I kiss her
lips not like how I kiss the girls I bring home from the bars. I
kiss her without opening my mouth, instead I feel like with this
kiss I’m opening up my soul to her; relinquishing my thanks to her
for being with me today; feeling the air from her nostrils on my
face; making the slightest of moans as my lips peck at her mouth
smoothly. She doesn’t protest. I feel her hands drop from their
cross position on her chest to them inching their way to my waist.
She grasps my shirt as I tilt my head to the left, so I can taste
her lips and get a better feeling of the heat that radiates off of
them.