Glittering Shadows (21 page)

She ran away from Dr. Keller without knowing where to go. She couldn’t roam the streets alone. She veered to one of the guard stations. Maybe she could just wait out the battle.

Past the door, Thea could just make out the silhouettes of two men. Of course. The guards would be dead, too. Today they were the enemy, though they worked for her own government, and they might
very well be as ignorant of what was going on as she had been just weeks ago. No, the word “enemy” didn’t feel right. She stepped closer, clutching her bag. “Hello? Is
anyone alive?”

The silence pierced her. The little room was quiet with death. The body closest to her feet was slumped on the ground, only the rounded shape of his back visible. The other body had been shot in
the head, his eyes untouched and glassy, but his blood fanned violently across the table behind his skull. And they were so young. They couldn’t know anything. She didn’t know
anything.

She crouched and opened her bag, staring at the bandages and medicine like she should be able to use them, to fix something. There was nothing she could give them except a prayer. She searched
for words Father Gruneman might have said, tears streaking her cheeks, but couldn’t remember them.

Yggdrasil whispered in her ear, with the voice of Ingrid.
Don’t think. Listen to me, and nothing you see on earth will matter
.

“No…!” Thea struggled to get the word out. She needed to think, needed to feel. She needed to remember what she had lost and who she still had. Father and Mother were not
worth giving up, not even for the protection of Yggdrasil, not even if the memories came with such pain.

Ingrid cut off my HAND—

Her eyes opened wide as she wrapped her thoughts around the truth, all those moments where she had struggled to scream, to tell Freddy or Nan something. She still heard Ingrid’s whispers,
her song, in her mind. She had to stop it before it got a hold of her again.

She grabbed her left hand and wrenched it.

Something inside her arm tore, and she gasped with pain. It was stuck to her on the inside.
This is your hand, Thea. What are you trying to do?

“No, no, no…” She took the scissors from her bag for cutting bandages, shut her eyes.
Would this hurt? No—it doesn’t matter—do it!
She stabbed the
back of her hand and hit hard wood. Her eyes opened. She felt nothing. There was a brief flash where she saw the true hand beneath the illusion, and then the magic took over again.

It wasn’t going to let her go.

She was sweating, her mouth dry, trapped and desperate. The fog was closing in on her mind, and it was only the stark horror of these dead men that kept it from claiming her. If she walked away,
she would never remember this.

She pulled the cold fingers of one man’s arm away from the gun he’d been holding when he died. Her teeth chattered. Her hand shook. She held her hands as far away from her as she
could, and put the barrel against her left. She turned her head away and pulled the trigger.

Wood splinters shot across the guard station. The illusion shattered, the strange symbols of magic burned into the wood torn apart. It was still attached into her skin; before she had time to
balk, she pulled on the hand again. Wood broke free from flesh. Little roots had sprouted from the base, bright with Thea’s blood. Ingrid’s magic must have healed her arm when it was
severed, but those little spots where the roots had worked into her bled and stung.

She stared at her pale, slender arm, now ending with just a stump. Everything she had ever accomplished with that lost hand flashed through her mind.

The shock made her oddly focused. She took off her coat and pulled the bandage from her bag. She started wrapping it around the stump, wrapping and wrapping, like she could smother the whole
thing away forever. Then she buttoned her coat over her left arm. She didn’t want anyone to see this, didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. She didn’t want to touch the wooden
hand again, but after a moment of hesitation, she quickly dropped it in her bag.

She stood in the door of the guard station, facing out. Shots echoed inside the arsenal walls. Her heart was in her throat. She couldn’t help Dr. Keller anymore; she could only watch and
wait. The calm she had enjoyed over the past week was gone, and memories pushed their way in—all the death and pain, and all the stupid things she’d said to Freddy and Nan when she
didn’t care.

It hadn’t even hit her until now that Freddy could be dead, for all she knew. She’d had no fear under Yggdrasil.

In a few more minutes, the shots died down. She heard Sebastian shout, “Get the—” Only the first two words rang clear over the din.

When truck engines rumbled to life, she finally moved forward, clutching her arm beneath her coat.

Within the arsenal walls, dozens of men ran back and forth, loading trucks with crates of weapons, herding along a few captured workers. The lights were out, so beyond the immediate activity
within the gate she only saw the shadows of large buildings against the sky and flashlights bobbing along. A few men hurried out of the largest building. Explosions shattered the window glass. She
ducked behind a truck, clutching her heart. That was the factory, she remembered, visualizing Sebastian’s map. No one was paying attention to her at first, and she didn’t see Dr.
Keller.

Walter, who played the piano in the evenings, spotted her and ran over. It was odd to see a pianist now running around with a gun. “Are you hurt, Miss Thea?”

“Just—my arm. I’m fine. I tripped and bruised it.”

“Here, why don’t you sit in the truck?” He urged her along toward one of the idling vehicles and opened the passenger door with a gentlemanly air. “Such a young girl
shouldn’t be in a place like this anyway! What was Sebastian thinking?”

“It was my fault. I insisted.”

He shook his head. “We’ll be moving once we get it all loaded up.” He shut the door.

Thea could hardly bear the wait to get back to a safe, warm bed, but at the same time, she knew there was no escape from this. Unless Ingrid could fix it.

Ingrid had better be able to fix it
.

A
few men had been left on guard; other than that, the house held only the injured, the refugees from Irminau, and Sigi and Nan.

And Ingrid, of course. She had gone to her room as soon as the men left. Nan wondered if she slept, free of worries because she had no friends, no loved ones. She had hoped to search
Ingrid’s room—that wouldn’t be possible now. Sebastian’s office? She found it unguarded, but also locked.

His bedroom, on the other hand, was open. He had a modest room, much like the one Freddy occupied. The bed was unmade, with a map open on the covers and his pajamas tossed across a bedpost.
There wasn’t much in it, except for a travel-worn black trunk she found under the bed. She tried to lift it. It held something of decent weight, and was locked, too. She quietly pried open
drawers until she found a key.

She cracked the trunk open to reveal a prosthetic limb made for someone who had lost their leg just below the knee.

This is nothing new
, she thought. When Freddy related that Sebastian was Prince Rupert, he also said that Prince Rupert had lost a leg, and supposedly Ingrid had restored it in a
“healing trance.” Seeing the truth of it before her was a harsh reminder that magic was not this powerful: It took a great sacrifice to bring Sigi back to life; it would take a great
sacrifice to bring back a lost limb.

She shut the trunk and marched downstairs to Ingrid’s room before she lost her nerve.

Ingrid’s face was expressionless when she answered Nan’s knock. “Yes?” Her fingers toyed lightly with the plain collar of her dress.

“What did you sacrifice to restore Sebastian’s leg?”

The fingers dropped. “Nothing. The sacrifice was made when Yggdrasil was destroyed.”

“And what happened to
Thea
when you were supposed to heal her hand?”

“I’m not willing to explain my plans to you as long as your sense is compromised.”

“How is my sense compromised? All I’m trying to do is figure out what the hell kind of game you’re playing!”

“You are lured by the human world. You’ve lost the person you used to be.” Ingrid’s severe expression lightened, a brief flash of hope crossing her eyes. “We used
to be one another’s family. Yggdrasil was our home. I know you remember.”

“Sometimes…”

“You remember me. You told me I used to be different.” Ingrid spread her fingers and rubbed them against her palms. “I remember me, too. I don’t want to be this way. If
you would help me, we can all be happy again.” She looked up.

Nan gently pushed the door open and entered Ingrid’s small cave of a bedroom. “Ingrid, what are you doing? You’ve made Thea forget her mother, the one person she’s worked
so hard to protect. How could that be the right thing to do?”

“Thea was in pain. She’s happier without those memories. She’ll remember her mother again after she has fully realized Yggdrasil’s power. Nan, you must realize, even as
you are looking for humanity in yourself, humans are looking for something that transcends those feelings inside of themselves. That’s why they go to church. But I can show it to them, so
they see beyond their everyday lives and work for a greater purpose.”

“You mean, for you. They do what you want them to do.”

“For Yggdrasil!”

“Yes, Yggdrasil,” Nan said. “Your story goes that Urd and I were killed by the Urobrun Army and the tree was destroyed. You planted a new tree, thus saving magic, but
it’s been weakened ever since. And you have now found a way to enchant people into loyalty by healing lost limbs or wounds. Am I on the right track?”

“Somewhat.”

“Somewhat? I’ll say, somewhat. Because I have a memory of being held captive and tortured by King Otto, and I sense he was the one who killed me. Why didn’t you tell me
that?”

“I don’t wish to dwell on the events of that year. It’s unimportant.”

“Unimportant? The king is still alive. You’re working for his
son
. No—his son is working for you. I don’t see why you need to use magic if Sebastian is really on
your side. Did you do this to get revenge? Is Sebastian really his father’s enemy?”

Ingrid’s laugh was brief and sharp. “Sebastian hates his father as much as I do. I swear to that.”

“Then what is the lie?” Nan leaned close enough to Ingrid that her breath fell upon her sister’s cheek.

Ingrid turned away, giving no answer. “I’ll call the guards if you threaten me.”

“I’m not threatening you, though I might if you don’t drop the enchantment on Thea. If you want to lie about King Otto, fine—I’ll find another way to get answers.
Leave my friends out of it.”

“She’d been shot badly,” Ingrid said.

“Not that badly.”

“If I drop the enchantment—”

“What?”

“I swapped her hand for one I had made from Yggdrasil.”

“Swapped?” The red squares on Ingrid’s quilt suddenly flashed into Nan’s vision. She saw the color of blood.

“Verthandi, I didn’t hurt her! I took her pain away.”

“Thea has faced so much, and what you’ve done to her now—”

“I
have
saved most of these men,” Ingrid said. “They lost arms, legs, fighting in these ridiculous wars. Once the war is over, if they’re left broken, no one
cares. They’re lucky if they don’t have to beg. You’ve seen them now, fighting for me, for Yggdrasil, with purpose and pride. They need me—and I need them.”

“But Thea didn’t need you.”

“She did, in her heart. I could feel her desire to be free from her grief. Still, I didn’t want
her
. I meant for it to be Freddy.”

“How can you possibly think you’re in the right?” Nan shook her head. “And you said ‘most’ of these men. Did you cut off anyone else’s limbs
unnecessarily?”

Ingrid’s stony silence was an admission of guilt.

“So every man in this house has a limb made from Yggdrasil?”

“Not
all
. Sebastian’s closest circle.”

“Can you give them back what they lost?”

Ingrid laughed sharply. “I already did! I gave them a piece of Yggdrasil. There is nothing better than that.”