Gone By (21 page)

I knocked with slow movement of my hand. She opened up with delay.

“Hey! Morning”. She responded softly with heavy and dull voice.

“Are you fine?” I inquired again.

“Yeah..I’m good” she said facing away from me.

I stepped in to her room. “Look..I’m sorry for what happened last evening”.

“It’s ok..I need to go to church” she avoided to look at me.

I had no idea what she must be thinking on her mind now. All I could do was just to apologize her. She acted with no head of attention towards me. She seemed completely busy within herself. “I’m going back” my voiced shrill loud.

She stayed quiet even now ignoring to reply me back.

“ You don’t want to talk to me fine. Alright..I’m going back and thanks for all the things. Sorry for all the trouble that I gave you” with my shallow and saddened voice.

I walked out of her room. With the scene of frustration and anger on my face. I began to pack up all my belongings to return back to Mumbai. I hurried myself as quickly as possible. Within no time I was completely ready with my luggage. All I needed now was to move to catch up the Volvo that would direct me to Mumbai. There came a knock at my door. I applied my way to open it up. I could see Isha standing before me. Her eyes completely dropped with simplicity and silence.

“You’re going back” she said softly.

“I think it would be better if I get back to my college”.

“I apologize for the thing I said you last evening” her voice slowly lowered down.

I stood numb, my feet shivering by it’s cold floor. I had no words but what to say to her.

“Could you come in for minutes” I welcomed her into my room.

She popped in slowly forwarding her steps with hesitation. I could realized her face being masked by her false appearance indeed she was extremely upset.

“Why are you going back” her voice shrilled out.

“I have to go. It’s urgent, there was a call from their side” I said .

“You promised me you’d be spending a week with me”.

“I’m Sorry about that”.

“ Alright..I’m Sorry again. You don’t have to go away” she said with her apologetic tone.

“I’ll be back. I’ll catch you again. You’re here for a month. I’ll see you again before you leave for Houston” I sighed.

She stood closer to me. Her breath got deeper. Her face turned pale and saddened by the flames of disrupting moment. I slowly closed into her. My hands intended to console her. I placed my palm on her cheek running smoothly over her face. Her eyes floated in the mist of tears. I calmly embraced her. My hand grasped her tight. I could feel the beat of her heart. I knew for sure she did not wanted me leave. But my stiff nature did not look back at new direction. I was completely determined to come back to my college. She slipped out from the warmth embrace and stepped aside.

“Note down my cell number” she said.

I began to type it on my mobile. “Could you give me a valid reason why?” her tone got more deeper.

I stood in dilemma with no quest of logistic accumulative thought on my mind. I needed to pretend out which would be fake before her eyes.

“I needed to get back to my studies” with casual intention.

“I never asked you to love me back. It just I enrolled my feelings out to you” her eyes deeply drown in emotions.

I stood in silence with no common gesture.

“It’s not that I hate you. It’s not that I have dislike for you. It’s just I can’t commit myself in falling in love with you”.

“I understand the consequences. It would be very hard for us to be together but........” she failed to speak out her words and burst out into streams of tears. I indulged again to embrace her.

“Don’t shed your tears” I said with soft tone wiping her wet eyes.

She hugged me tightly which lasted for minutes. After prolonged scene of traumatic emotional vibes she finally prepared to go to the church.

“Promise me you’ll be back before I leave”.

“I promise”.

We walked together out of the room. On my side hand I had my bag. She added her steps alongside me. She grasped me tightly. We followed our way towards the elevator. The door smoothly slid and we made comfortably inside. She pressed the lowest floor. We slid down within no time. I had to check out for my room. The necessary transaction was done and we proceeded ahead. In fact, she was coming to drop me at the Volvo station. We did not waste much time, hired a taxi that would drop us at the station.

“ You got to complete your diary” she said.

“Sure..the next time I come to see you..It’s no more a diary but a collections of immensely tragic words for my love”.

“So, crazy about Anannya....such a freak you’re” she grinned after a long time.

Our taxi ran very smoothly. Finally we were dropped at the located position. The day began to get brighter. I could see the streams of rays falling over us. Isha’s face gleamed out in blue. I glanced at my wrist. We took one corner of the station where we found a vacant place to rest for a while. She came close to me while I was left seated firmly on the bench. She looked at me very sharply like she never saw me since ages. Her face expressed out some informal gesture.

“I’ll miss you very much” she said.

My eye blinked, responding the warmth of her deep parting words.

“I’ll miss you too”.

We were gazing at each other for long. Neither both of our heart wanted to part from each other. The bond slightly began to detach which I could sense. There were huge roars inside my heart. Her inner mind cried out of pain. But she tackled with strong force of faith and believe. The deep strength of love appeared before her eyes. It was like she wanted me to swallow out. I quietly placed my palm on her cheek, sensing the vibes of our inner  love confrontations. I somehow managed to console up the things and winded up with happiness that finally cheered before us. The day began to grow older. The time passed on and we were still both together stood silence in that lonely station. The charm once again fell with its rays getting brighter. She held my hand and I grasped it tight.

9:30am, the morning wasn’t a perfect time for us to depart but that day was something indifferent in my life. A shadow fell across her face, obscuring her facial expression. The bus arrived before us. I avoided to travel by Volvo for the day. I precisely thought of catching up the state transport to feel the new kind of experience.

“You’re getting late for the chapel service” I said softly.

She nodded her head. We walked little away out from the porch. I had to hire a taxi for Isha to let her safely return to the chapel. I called out for a taxi. I clunk the door for her. She stood firm and stiff. I could feel the heat of wild roars that she was bearing for that moment. Her face desperately wanted me to stay back. I held her hand and made her a way to get in the car. With no second thought her eyes turned reddish and embraced me tight. I managed to curl my hand at her back. For the last departing session she kissed me on my cheek. She slid in to settle herself. Her eyes tripled out of tears. I stood with demolished heart. Neither I could dribble down my inner emotions nor her. I urge the taxi driver to accelerate. She avoided to eye on me. The taxi galloped and I stood all alone at that spot watching sharply until I could see its size diminishing away from my eye sight.

I walked back with my head facing towards the ground. I carried my bag and headed towards the state transport. I took the window seat for the complete journey. The bus had well equipped seat with music system that was being played. I was completely silenced by the reminiscing memory that was struck upon me. I gathered my inner strength to control the vast flow of hearty attributes. The bus began to move out. There were still empty seats available. Perhaps on the way the bus would be completely filled but I wasn’t sure about that. So, finally I could see myself sweeping away from the city. The bus passed through the middle of the town. The seat beside still empty. Indeed there was no demand yet. I just hope somebody to fill it. I completely felt deserted and lonely. The bus was halted for the other passengers at another station. When then a lady came up to fill the seat beside me. She was almost within the range of thirty to thirty five age. Yes of course she was a married lady. She made herself comfortable beside me. I paid no sort of attention towards her for the moment. My eyes were viewing outside through the window. She sat quiet and calm with no sign of words from her. The bus started to move on. The lady was all alone. Maybe she was returning back to her home, Mumbai. Neither both of us willing to talk but silence covered us. Finally the bus began to run smoothly with no obstruction of any traffic. We were out from the town within no time, heading towards the main highway. Nothing revolved on my mind but I was thinking about Isha. I thought of calling her. I dialled the numbers. The other side rang up and she picked up.

“Hello” she said softly.

“Hey! I’m off..running faster”.

“Have good a journey”.

“Did you reach safely” I thought to inquire.

“Yeah! I’m safe and I’m in the chapel now praying to God” she giggled.

“Take care”.

“I miss you” she said.

Our conversation ended very shortly. I thought of pulling out my diary to fill up the pages again. I was completely lost into the world of ecstatic realm of life. The feeling of joy came around under the sweet effect of the music that was being played. I held my diary and opened up its pages. That day I thought of writing something different about Anannya. I was more engrossed into her beauty. So without thinking much, I ploughed my pen on to the pages and I began to recreate my love for Anannya.

She was the only soul that could change me. The life that I would want her in my next life too. That‘s the name Anannya, I would love to hear through ages. The love for her would never depart from me such was the strong bond of affection that existed between. Let this world see us as the great human love that could ever exist. Such was the wish of mine which still do exist. In every blood of mine she runs firmly with deep touch from her heart. Her every word would melt me, abiding myself into her every commands. She was my every strength. Whenever I was weak at my heart, she was the only one to medicate me with strong dedication. Every part of life she shone with full of happiness that covered both of us. She was the prettiest of all, as my eyes always said that. She was dream for others but to me she was my breath. Yet this never ending love never faded away. The footprints are still hovering around all the walls of great sculptures. Such was the immense dedication that took birth between us. The only dream of my life was she. My words began to get shorten, my actions began to decrease but how to express the intense feelings and emotions that I had nurtured for her throughout these years. She could bother me in every way I was. The genuine love for her was not on any basis but it was all her heart that linked me. The endorsement that framed us was so concretely build even the typhoon saluted us before it touched us. We were abundant with the vast space of love that existed between us. We began to share the pain and joy together. The sufferings we wiped happily with our love. Our love began to grow young and healthy. Realising the need of each other. The healthy relation between us kept our inner core warm and safe. I gradually became her protector. My whole world existed within her. Nothing could be possible without her consent. Her every words and every single thing about her energized me. A man of true love I began to see at myself. The ingredient of strong trust and
faith evolved between us. I could surely say that even God didn’t had the power to separate this strong bond of connection between us. People surrounding us would envy. Indeed, It was such the magic of our love and still it does exist between our hearts. Anannya, began to grew more into me. I began to change with a new kind of species into this world. I started to smile like anyone could do in this world. She began to absorb my love. The promises were yet to fulfil but we hindered with patience and calmness in our life. A promise of such kind I made one day.

“I would never leave her alone” my conscious told me.

“Be always by her side” it warned me again.

I whole heartedly accepted the warned of my conscious. My world began to dribble new things into my life. Her every morning smile charmed me with joy. Felt like the sorrow and hardship of life would be easy now to face with her beside me. Beautiful verse of lines began to flow out of my mouth for her. My chivalry grew better every day for her. I gathered the enormous respect for her which she loved to honour. I rhymed for her to let feel alive after her every day work. She made me feel home like environment whenever I was far away for an errand. Also, I did the same for her wherever she was left alone. The distant became huge factor in our life, yet we could easily feel the presence each other. Such was the strength of love we had made all through these years. She had been my true inspiration of my life. A real motivating love that always geared me up in my life. How could I not love her, it would be really unfair. I promised to myself I’ll be forever for her and she will be mine too. Days did used to pass like the speed of rockets spending time with her, she cherished all our special moments. I could unfold all my inner stories about her which she loved to hear every night. As human being she had the every qualities that one should have. The angelic look alike girl held me tight within her heart. There was no one who could replace my heart except for her. She engraved a deep place in my heart. Never I thought of anything wrong to take place. I was happy with every possible ups and downs we came across. She was bold to face and I was kind to handle. Nothing lacked more than a real world that could exist between us. Someday I would say proudly to this world that she is above all the heaven to me. I would wait and pray for this day to come true. Even if the words fail but my destiny would not change, such a strong commitment I impose on myself. All I needed was Anannya to be by me side all through my life. Will this ever be true? Sometimes it pondered me a question before me. I shouldn’t falter at anything it geared me. With strong trust and faith I prayed to the almighty, let she be the one. Let me be the Man for her for I knew we are in love. And the little fault that would exist could extinct us from this world. Let she get the realm of her life. Let our love not go wasted. Let she be protected by my arm in every state of despair and conditions she needed. Such depth of love I grew for her. Nevertheless there were times where I couldn’t show up according to her dreams. But now the time has come with the real charm and the game to begin. I began indulging myself more for her. I began preserving myself completely for her. There was nothing to live with fear but tear apart the fear we had. It was the love of our hearts that bound us strongly. My emotions and feelings for her encouraged me to face out any challenge that came on our way. Not even a single day I went without concerning about her. All the proper measures for happiness I used to keep safe for her. I began to dream big with her. Every impossible things turned possible before my eyes. Indeed, I was turning more skilful in every task I was performing. Such was the magic that laid between us. The complete source of encouragement and inspiration was she. Due to which I was no more  the same kind. She began to love me more. My actions started to speak out and words began to reframe. Without each other’s consent we wouldn’t do anything that would required us both. Such evidence of love between us existed and we left the memories into this world. Every thought of mine was her and everything I did was for her. So, beautiful the days were even the white clouds began to smile for us. The Moon shone it’s light above us. The swift flow of streams and the rivers touched us with its warmth love. My life began to expand with flow of brightness and joy. The very first face I would love to see was of Anannya. She was like the morning ray of my life. Every time I opened my front door of my room, I always wished she be standing before me flourishing her smiles on me.