Good Night, Sleep Tight Workbook (5 page)

Read Good Night, Sleep Tight Workbook Online

Authors: Kim West

Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Life Stages, #Infants & Toddlers, #Parenting, #General

 
 
Typical meals:
three meals and two snacks
 
(Shift earlier if your child wakes between 6:00 and 7:00 a.m.)
 
 
7:00 a.m.-7:30 a.m.
Wake-up and breakfast.
9:00 a.m.-9:30 a.m.
Start of one-hour morning nap if she’s still taking one.
11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
Lunch (depending on morning nap timing).
12:30-1:30 p.m.
Start of afternoon nap. About 1½ hours if it’s a second nap, between 2 and 2½ hours if it’s the only nap of the day.
5:00 p.m.-5:30 p.m.
Dinner.
6:00 p.m.-6:30 p.m.
Start bath/bedtime routine.
7:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.
Asleep.
 
 
 
Some toddlers need a longer transition from dinner to bedtime, and should eat earlier than the rest of the family. However, most children this age don’t
need
a meal before bedtime, although some like to nurse briefly (if they’re still breastfeeding) for comfort. This is okay, as long as they aren’t nursing to sleep.
 
Changes and Challenges: Dropping the Morning Nap
 
Most toddlers are ready to give up their morning nap between 15 and 18 months, and nearly all children go through the “one nap is too little, two naps are too many” phase. All you can do is make the transition as smooth as possible, although even in the best-case scenario, a child may be cranky and out-of-sorts for two or three weeks. Your toddler has reached this milestone when she:
•
consistently
gets 10 to 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. If she’s not, work on improving nighttime sleep before you tackle the nap change.
•
consistently
takes longer and longer to fall asleep for her morning nap.
•
consistently
takes increasingly shorter morning naps
or
sleeps for too long in the morning and then refuses an afternoon nap.
 
Once you see these changes in your child’s sleep and nap behavior for at least 10 to 14 days straight, you can start the process of dropping her morning nap. It should take only 7 to 10 days. Here’s how:
SLEEP-TIGHT TIP
 
 
Between 12 and 14 months your child will begin actively dreaming. This can startle her awake. It’s fine to go to her to reassure her; just don’t revert to your sleep crutch to get her back to sleep.
 
 
1. Gradually push her morning nap later—until around 11:00 a.m. for two days, then 11:30 for a couple of days, then noon, and so on. Don’t let the nap get stuck in late morning. Some kids can adapt more quickly to a noon nap time and others need to go slower. Watch your child. Your goal is for the afternoon nap to start between 12:30 and 1:00 and last at least 2¼ to 2½ hours.
2. If your toddler sleeps for only an hour and wakes up tired, then try to soothe and resettle her back to sleep. If all else fails, use one of your emergency techniques, like putting her in the car or stroller.
3. Do not let her sleep past 4:00 or 4:30 p.m., so as not to disrupt her bedtime.
4. Try to get your child to bed earlier than usual for two weeks or so during the transition—like 7:00 p.m.—to cushion her from being overtired.
5. Be open to an occasional “two-nap day.” If during the transition your child seems too tired, it’s okay to let her nap twice—just limit the morning snooze to 45 minutes.
6. If your child is in childcare or preschool part of the time, try to synchronize the afternoon nap at home with the timetable at school (assuming she starts her nap at school between 12:00 and 1:00 p.m.).
18 MONTHS TO 2½ YEARS
 
Average sleep for an 18-month-old:
11¼ hours at night, 2¼ hours during the day (one nap).
 
Average sleep for a 2-year-old:
11 hours at night, 2 hours during the day (one nap).
 
 
 
7:00 a.m.-7:30 a.m.
Wake-up and breakfast.
12 p.m.-12:30 p.m.
Lunch.
12:30 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.
Start afternoon nap.
5:00 p.m.-5:30 p.m.
Dinner.
6:00 p.m.-6:30 p.m.
Start bath/bedtime routine.
7:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.
Bedtime.
 
 
 
A soothing bedtime routine is a must for older toddlers. Most kids this age will demand that you do everything in the same order each night, and not leave anything out, so limit the bedtime regimen to a manageable number of elements (
one
story plus
one
song plus
one
cuddle in the rocking chair). Starting around age 2, you may see a lot of stalling and delay tactics. If your child “needs” frequent tucking in, another kiss, etc., respond
once
. The second time he calls for you, be neutral but firm and say, “No more tuck-ins. Now it’s time to go to sleep,” and stand your ground: If you say, “Last time” and then give in, you’re sending the message that if your tyke begs and cries long enough, he’ll get what he wants. If you and your partner take turns putting your child to bed, it’s perfectly fine if your styles are slightly different. Just make sure that you’re consistent about when bedtime takes place and how you respond to delay tactics.
 
Changes and Challenges: Climbing out of the Crib
 
Many toddlers in this age group try climbing out of the crib. I almost always advise parents to keep him in as long as possible, definitely until 2½ years old and preferably until 3. By then, a child has the verbal skills to understand the “big bed” rules and to communicate when he has gotten out of bed for the twentieth time that night.
 
 
To stop a tot from going overboard (and keep him from getting hurt if he does manage to scramble out), you can:
• Lower the mattress as low as it goes.
• Put pillows on the ground around the crib to cushion falls.
• Remove any large toys or stuffed animals from the crib that he may be able to step up on.
• When your child does get out, return him to the crib with minimal interaction and say, “No climbing.”
• Stay nearby at bedtime and peek through the door. If you see your child start to raise his leg say, “No climbing.”
• Get a mesh crib tent. Put a positive spin on it by decorating it.
• Dress your child in a “sleep sack”; he won’t be able to raise his leg over the crib rail.
 
AGES 2½ TO 5 YEARS OLD
 
Average sleep for a 3-year-old:
10½ hours at night, 1½ hours during the day (one nap)
 
Average sleep for a 4-year-old:
11½ hours at night
 
Average sleep for a 5-year-old:
11 hours at night
 
 
Once your child is in preschool, his schedule will be shaped largely by the hours he’s there, when the class has nap time, and other outside factors. That said, there are some things you can (and should) control:
 
Generally, you want him to
wake up between 6:00 and 7:30 a.m.
(See page 91 of
Trouble Shooting
if your child persistently wakes up before 6:00 a.m.)
 
Around age 4, most children stop napping. When your preschooler hits this milestone, make sure he still has some
quiet time in the late afternoon
(looking at books in his room, for example), and move his bedtime up by about an hour—i.e., if he had been getting to bed at 8:30 p.m., now he should be in bed by 7:30 p.m.
 
By age 5, he can probably stay up a little later—until 8:00 p.m.—and he should sleep until around 7:00 a.m. In other words, he should get
11 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night
; adjust your child’s exact bed- and wake-up times to coincide with your family schedule and his school-start time.
 
Also, be aware that preschoolers are very good at hiding when they’re sleepy, which can make it tough to get their bedtime just right. Continue to
watch for sleep cues like yawning, eye-rubbing, thumb-sucking, or crankiness
. If your tot gets that cortisol-fueled second wind (meaning you missed his sleep window), start getting him to bed a half-hour or so earlier from now on. Similarly, if he starts nodding off during his bedtime routine or falls asleep the very second you turn out the lights, you’re probably putting him to bed too late. Move bedtime earlier by 15 to 30 minutes.
 
 
 
6:00 a.m.-7:30 a.m.
Wake-up and breakfast.
Midmorning snack
12:00 p.m.-12:30 p.m.
Lunch.
1:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m.
Nap (if still napping), or quiet time.
Snack
5:00 p.m.-5:30 p.m.
Dinner.
6:00 p.m.-6:30 p.m.
Start bath.
7:00 p.m.-8:30 p.m.
Bedtime (exact time depending on age and if your child is still taking a nap).
 
 
 
Changes and Challenges: Switching to the Big Bed
 
Most children move out of the crib between ages 3 and 4. A child is ready to make the switch when:
• he’s at least 2 ½ years old.
• he’s mastered the skill of putting himself to sleep at bedtime and getting himself back to sleep when he wakes during the night without any help.
• he’s climbing out of his crib easily and frequently (see my tips on dealing with a climber on page 25 if you want your tot to stay in his crib longer).
• he
says
he wants a “big boy” bed.
 
There are different ways to make the transition:
 
 
The Cold Turkey Approach
—in other words, simply
removing the crib and replacing it with a bed
. If you do this:
• put the new bed where your child’s crib was (if the layout of the room allows for it)
or
• place it in a corner of the room so he still feels safely contained.
• install a guard rail on the side of the bed that’s not against a wall.
• arrange a few pillows on the floor in case he tumbles out anyway.
 
A Note about Toddler Beds:
Some families use toddler beds (they’re sized to fit a crib mattress) as an interim step, but I don’t see a need for it. If your child really wants one, fine, but it’s certainly not an essential investment. The one advantage is that they’re usually too small for a parent to fit in, so you won’t have to deal with being begged to lie down with your child.
 
 
The Gradual Approach:
 
• Start by leaving the crib railing down, with a stool at the side so he can get out by himself.

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