Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary) (23 page)

   "No, I think we've got most of it covered. Really, it's nothing to
concernyourself
over."

   Mr. Tandy stood up. "I'll be back in a second. I need to use the bathroom."

   "Kids, go play outside," said Mrs. Tandy, ushering them out into the front yard. "Ben, are you sure you're okay?"

   "I'm fine. Yes."

   He walked into the hallway, moving like one of the living dead. I wanted to keep him in sight, but what was I going to do, tell him he couldn't take a leak? I heard the bathroom door close and turned to face Mrs. Tandy.

   "What's going on?" she asked.

   "It's a personal matter."

   "I'm his wife. We don't have secrets."

   Oh, was she in for a bit of a shock.

   "I'm sorry, but this is between Ben
andI.Whatever
he wants to tell you, he can."

   "I expect him to tell me everything. I hope you understand that it's very upsetting to come home and find a total stranger in my house and my husband looking like he's ready to kill himself."

   Forget letting the man urinate in peace. I rushed down the hallway and pounded on the only closed door.

   "Mr. Tandy, open up!"

   "Go away!"

   "I mean it. Open the door. We need to finish talking."

   Mrs. Tandy walked into the hallway after me, wringing her hands in what seemed more like agitation than nervousness. "What the hell is going on?"

   I tested the
doorknob.Unlocked
. I threw open the door, figuring that it was well worth the risk of embarrassment if he happened to be merely sitting on the toilet.

   He wasn't.

   He was standing at the sink, a razor in his hand.

Chapter 17

    HE'D TAKEN a regular plastic shaver and broken the top to get at the blade, which he held pinched between his thumb and index finger.

   "Stay away!" he said.

   I rushed him, and he flung the razor at me. It bounced harmlessly off my chest as I grabbed him and easily pinned his arms behind his back. Mrs. Tandy screamed.

   "Be quiet!" I shouted at her. "Don't make a sound! Now listen to me, I need your full cooperation, both of you! I'm only here to ask questions, nothing else! I just need you to—"

   Mrs. Tandy vanished from sight, and I heard her footsteps running down the hall, probably toward the nearest phone. I shoved Mr. Tandy out of the way. His leg struck the bathtub and he fell to the floor. The razor was still on the floor, within his reach, so I gave it a good kick then followed his wife to stop her before she called the police.

   I hurried down the hall, through the living room, and into the kitchen, where Mrs. Tandy stood next to a phone mounted on the wall. She held the handset in one hand and was punching buttons with the other.

   I grabbed the phone from her and gave the cord a good yank, popping it out of the jack. "Do you want your husband to die?" I demanded. "Do you?"

   She shook her head, tears spilling down her face. "No!"

   "Then sit down and stay calm! If you don't do as I say you might as well slice his wrists yourself!"

   I couldn't believe I'd said something like that, but this was no time for compassion. I sprinted back into the bathroom, ready for the sight of Mr. Tandy lying on the tile in a pool of blood, his wrists slashed wide open.

   But he hadn't gone for the razor. He was sitting against the bathtub, his eyes vacant. "Why can't you leave me alone?" he asked.

   "I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you," I said. "I know what a pain it is when somebody shows up uninvited and exposes you for the twisted deviant that you are."

   "You just don't understand."

   "No, I don't, and thank God for that. But here's your chance to redeem yourself. I need names. Besides Michael Ashcraft, who is involved in making the tapes?"

   Mr. Tandy shrugged.

   "Look, man, if you don't want your face plastered all over the front page of tomorrow's newspaper, you'll answer my questions. Now who's involved?"

   "It was his wife," Mr. Tandy
said."
And
some other guy."

   "What other guy?"

   "He never told me his name."

   "What did he look like?"

   "Sort of
creepy.Old
guy.Big
white beard."

   
Great.The
Apparition.No
help
at all.

   
"Who else?"

   
"Nobody else."

   "You're lying. There's somebody else working for Ghoulish Delights that you haven't told me about."

   Mr. Tandy's voice abruptly switched from a pained whisper to a shout. "What do you think, they took me around and introduced me
toeveryone
?I
don't know who you're talking about! All I did was order the tape. That's all."

   "Where'd they get the girl?"

   He lowered his voice again. "I don't know! All they said was that they take people who won't be missed. Maybe she was homeless. I didn't ask. Why are you asking me all this stuff instead of bugging Michael Ashcraft? He's the one you should be talking to! I didn't do anything!"

   I noticed Mrs. Tandy standing in the hallway, staring at us as her hands shook. I shut the bathroom door in her face.

   "I don't care what you did or didn't do," I told Mr. Tandy. "You're the one I'm talking to."

   
"But
Idon'tknow
anything!"

   "How did you find out about Ghoulish Delights?"

   
"The
Internet.A
chat room."

   "Must've been some chat," I said with a dry chuckle.

   "Hey, you don't know anything about me! You have no right to stand here acting all haughty and arrogant!"

   "I'm going to make two points. One, `haughty' and `arrogant' mean the same thing. Two, because of you an innocent woman was tortured to death. I don't need to know anything about you to figure out that there's something seriously wrong with you."

   Mr. Tandy buried his face in his hands and began sobbing. His shoulders shook, his head bobbed, and after a couple of minutes of trying to calm him down I had to accept that I wasn't going to get anything out of him.

   I opened the bathroom door. Mrs. Tandy stood there, her face pale and tight. "Please, tell me what's going on."

   I ignored her and walked toward the front door. I knew the secret behind Ghoulish Delights now, but I couldn't see how this was supposed to help me find the hidden clues in the video.

   As I stepped outside, I saw an envelope taped to the passenger door of my car. Forget searching for leads and interviewing suspects...I needed to just stay in my damn car all day!

   I hurried over to the car, glanced around to catch a glimpse of the delivery person I knew would be nowhere in sight, then ripped open the envelope. It felt like it contained several pieces of paper. I have to admit, I was feeling pretty darn uncomfortable hanging around here, and I really didn't know what Mr. Tandy might be capable of, so I got in my car and sped off.

   I drove out of the neighborhood and pulled into the parking lot of a small library, then carefully opened the envelope and removed its contents.

   
Five pieces of notebook paper.

   
One Trojan-brand
condom.Ribbed
.

   I didn't even want to know what the condom was for yet, so I looked over the first piece of paper. In crayon, in a child's scrawl, was the following letter:

   "
DearGramma
,
I miss
you.Arizona
is fun.
Momsed
that I could have all the soda I want during the trip. I love
you.XOXOXO
. Love, Amy."

   The next letter was similar:

   "
DearGramma
,
I miss you.
Its
hothear
but I
stilllik
it.
We will be back soon. I love
you.XOXOXO
. Love, Amy."

   There were three more letters, all
toGramma
from Amy,
allto
basically the same effect.

   Five letters and a
condom.And
somehow this was supposed to tie in with the tape.

   I held open the envelope and looked inside to make sure I hadn't missed anything. And I had. A message written on the inside of the envelope read: "One after the creation of the other."

   Huh?

   I tore open the foil wrapper to make sure there was nothing else of importance hidden inside the condom. As I removed the condom and examined it, a woman walking past the car with an armload of books noticed me and picked up her pace. Looked like a normal condom. The kind I no longer had to wear ever since the birth of Kyle, when Helen decided that our child quota had been met and it was time for me to get a...but that's bringing up a horrible memory I don't want to discuss.

   I unrolled the condom completely just in case the killer had written some sort of message on it, but no, it still looked like your standard-issue prophylactic. Wow, these things were huge when you unrolled them all the way.

    Satisfied that this condom was in fact a regular condom, I rolled it back up as well as I could and stuffed it back into the wrapper. I returned all of the parts of the clue to the envelope, and began to drive home.

   
One after the creation of the other.

   Wasn't the whole purpose of a
condomtoprevent
creation? So "creation" had to refer to the letters.

   
A condom after the creation of the letters.

   
WasArizona
the important part?
Or maybe it was the misspelled words, such as "
sed
" and "
lik
."

   
One after the creation of the other.

   I was completely baffled.

   Then my heart rate doubled as I saw the red and blue lights flashing in my rear-view mirror.

Chapter 18

    OH, THIS was bad. This was really bad.

   I glanced around quickly and saw that there were no other cars near me. The flashing lights on that police car were meant
forme
,
and me only.

   What was I supposed to do? If the killer or one of his flunkies was watching and saw me talking to a cop, that might blow the whole deal. Even if they were listening in somehow and I didn't say anything suspicious, they'd probably assume I'd relayed a message some other way.

   I briefly considered flooring the gas pedal and testing my car chase skills, but quickly decided that would be a bad idea. If I got caught, I'd be taken in to the station, and then the prisoners would be doomed for certain. Besides, the officer had probably already noted my license plate number.

   
Wonderful.Just
wonderful.

   I pulled over to the side of the road and killed the engine. I looked up in the rear-view mirror and ran a hand through my hair. God, I looked terrible. The combination of big-time stress and lack of sleep gave me the appearance of an intoxicated zombie. Bloodshot eyes, bruises, rumpled clothes...I looked like somebody that any local cop would want to throw out of his town.

   I rolled down my window as the officer approached. Naturally, he was tall, had a muscular build, and facial features that looked carved out of stone. Naturally, he had an expression that said "I've had a lousy day and I'm in the mood to stomp somebody."

   Naturally, I patted my jeans and realized that with all the distractions this morning, I'd forgotten to bring my wallet.

   The officer stopped at the door and leaned down toward the window. He had to lean a long way. "May I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance, please?"