Grin and Bear It: How to Be Happy No Matter What Reality Throws Your Way (21 page)

He’d mumble his response while holding the scanning gun to the item he preferred.

Beep.

“Got it!” he’d say.

At one point, we looked over and noticed another guy in the store who had clearly been there for a while, too. We actually took a lunch break, came back, and he was still there. When I commented on his amazing attitude, the guy turned to us and said with a straight face, “I’m suicidal.”

Thankfully, Jonathan is a patient man. Hours in an operating room will teach you to stay focused and get through anything—even registering for china at Bloomingdale’s.

I think every woman deserves to feel like a princess on her wedding day if she wants to. After all, it’s her day and the one single time you can selfishly indulge your every wish without guilt or remorse. For me, that meant walking down the aisle in the most beautiful gown I could imagine. I was so honored that Marc Bouwer agreed to create my wedding gown. He is such a wonderfully talented designer whose work I truly admire. He was my first and only choice, and boy, did I make the right decision!

I wanted a dress with long sleeves because, um, well, I am a little older than the average bride—still a hot fox, but well, okay, I’ll say it again,
older
. The lace that Marc picked was stunning. The back of the dress plunged to the base of my spine, while the front had a strapless look. From the waist down, the gown was full and flowed perfectly. I chose a long train because it felt so regal to me. I was inspired by Kate Middleton’s train, and thought it would be beautiful coming down the aisle of our Greek church. Jonathan’s niece was our flower girl, so Marc made her a matching dress from the very same lace. It also had the same train as mine. For us, that represented two families joining together.

When I put on my gown the day of my wedding, I felt so peaceful. It was ironic because everything around me felt crazy and yet I was able to take a step back for ten minutes or so, breathe, and just say, “Wow.”

Jonathan and I had gone to the church early that morning to have a private moment before the big event. Something bigger I believed took over from that point on. I felt genuine serenity—perhaps for the first time in my life. I liked the way it felt.

As I made my way down the aisle later that day, I could feel all of the warmth and love emanating in the church, especially as I drew closer to Jonathan, looking dashing in his tuxedo. I could barely fight back the tears of joy that were filling my eyes. There was so much to celebrate that day—my sister, who was my matron of honor, had been cancer-free for a year and a half. Everywhere I looked, I saw a miracle.

Walking on air in Jonathan’s Windy City. (Photo Credit: Rick Aguilar)

Sometime during the weekend, and before the ceremony, my mom and dad unexpectedly came to a resolution in their relationship—another miracle, because after years, she finally had closure. My mom, dad, and his wife rode in a limousine together to the church. That was an unthinkable scenario until my wedding day. I was truly overwhelmed by my parents’ decision to put aside their differences and make it a true celebration of love.

When you put a lot of work into something, you
can
get a great result. Our reception was insanely fun and over-the-top gorgeous. Although I had spent months planning for this moment, I hadn’t seen the room in its entirety until I walked through the door as Mrs. Nassos. When we walked into the room, Tommy Shaw, from the band Styx was there to sing to us. Jonathan and I had seen Styx perform at the Greek Theater in Hollywood a month earlier and loved it! Tommy and Jeannie are clients of Jeff’s, so imagine my surprise when
he
arranged to have him sing at our wedding. He also took my mom into the ballroom to show it to her in advance, like a proud brother. Turns out, Jeff did care about my wedding and this was his way of showing it.

At my wedding with my TV better half, Jeff Lewis.

Tommy wrote a song for his wife Jeanie called “Yes I Can” that meant a lot to both of them, which he performed for us that night. Everyone loved it, especially Jonathan and I. During our ceremony, the priest talked about our relationship being a rose that needs to be cultivated. He said it would have thorns, but if you water it and take care of it, it will grow. When Tommy sang the words, “I can see you in the garden tending your roses…” it was another miracle I didn’t see coming. It was a moment for all of us—even Tommy, who shared with the crowd that he felt so nervous that night, even after thirty years of performing. Tommy’s performance will be one of those memories I will replay over and over in my mind for the rest of my life.

When it came to love, I was now on a steep learning curve, blissfully happy and so deeply grateful that I finally found what I was looking for. Looking back at my early life, I have no regrets about not becoming a doctor. After all, I ended up marrying one! If you trust the process, things do have a way of working out.

My father’s speech that night was lovely. He spoke about what a wonderful job my mom did as a parent to their children and how grateful he was to her because she had always remained a loving wife, mother, and friend. With these affirming and sincere words, I could visibly see a weight lifted from my mother’s shoulders that she had been carrying around since the day my dad left us. I hadn’t expected this to happen, but I am grateful and thankful that it did.

I can also say that today my father and I are in a great place, even if I don’t agree with all of his decisions. I am grateful that he gave me a lot of my crazy and creative traits. He is such a forward-thinking man, something I am proud to say he has passed on to me. We now have a relationship that we are both happy to share.

As I took in every moment of that very special day, my prayers had been answered. I had finally embraced the true meaning of guidance, wisdom, family, and home. For us, and for our families, this was a happy new beginning.

14

And Baby Makes Three

Once the dust settled
from our incredible wedding weekend, Jonathan and I had to face that it was time for him to leave his family and friends in Chicago and move back to Los Angeles to live with me as husband and wife. When we met, I was only working on
Flipping Out.
By the time we married, I’d added a new show,
Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis.
. The premise of the show involves us spending a week with clients to do a total life renovation from cleaning up their homes to their relationships and everything in between. The humor is not lost on me that we ended up with a show about helping others work out their relationships when ours was so deeply rooted in dysfunction. I don’t regret a single moment that has led me to where I am today, because in the end, so much good has come from the success of
Flipping Out
and now,
Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis.

These days, there’s a clear difference in what it feels like for Jeff and for me, now that I am fully present and engaged in our work together. Jeff can see that I have respected my work with him and given it the attention it requires. I find that I am more creative and therefore a better asset to his business. I am here and excited about design.

And when it comes to acting, the impact of being fully engaged has allowed me a lot more freedom and even though it’s scarier, it’s a lot more fun. I used to get flustered by getting a line wrong or blowing a take. These days I just do it again until I nail it!

And last, but certainly not least, being present in my personal relationships has brought me the one thing I never thought I’d have again—true love with a man who is far too good for a needy, crazy girl like me!

I was honest with Jonathan from the start about wanting to be in Los Angeles for work. Relocating could have been the end of my career and I wasn’t ready to quit what I’d worked so hard to achieve. Jonathan could practice medicine in California, but I couldn’t continue working at my present momentum if I moved to Chicago. Every time I mentioned I wouldn’t move to Chicago, he let me know he was clear on that decision and supported it.

Jonathan is a lot better at embracing the unknown than I am. His training as a physician requires him to handle high-stress situations in a calm and rational manner. He is capable of being patient and knows how to be willing to stay the course. These are not traits I’ve been well known for.

I’d moved around from Oregon to Arizona when I was a kid, and then to California for college. I hadn’t lived in any one place my entire life so I didn’t have the same kind of tie to a city like Jonathan has to Chicago. Aside from the year he spent in L.A. doing his fellowship, Jonathan had been in Chicago for thirty-four years. I understood the sacrifice Jonathan was making and wanted to be as supportive as I could throughout the packing, the move, and his early weeks in L.A. Although he wasn’t showing it, I think Jonathan was terrified about starting over. He’d built a very nice practice in Chicago and would be faced with starting from square one. He told me that if he really didn’t believe that my career could make a difference in people’s lives in a positive way, he would have asked me to pack it in and come to Chicago. But he didn’t. He truly believes in me and my dreams. As a result, he was giving up everything, including his friends and proximity to his family. Jonathan comes from a very close-knit group of Greeks, and though they were supportive of his decision, it was hard to let him go. I understand that feeling because I didn’t want to be without him either.

Jonathan moved to Los Angeles in September 2012 with the difficult task of rebuilding his life and career from the ground up. He courageously began in a new city, making new contacts and building new friendships. His life was now exposed because his wife is on a reality television show, but he still had chosen to leave Chicago for us.

What was he thinking?

We started our life together in Los Angeles, learning to connect even deeper by finally being together in one place long enough to bond as husband and wife. This kind of togetherness definitely has its perks!

Shortly after we settled in to married life, we unexpectedly discovered that I was pregnant. We had talked about wanting to start a family, but we weren’t exactly
trying
.

Practicing—often—but not trying to get pregnant!

My fortieth birthday was just around the corner so there was some concern that I might have a hard time conceiving because of my age. Jonathan was open to whatever we needed to do, whether it was IVF treatments or adoption, so long as we did our best to start a family together.

Lots of people were rooting for us to get in the game right away. Jeff’s grandmother’s advice was my favorite: “Just have a couple of glasses of wine, relax, and
enjoy!”
She also told me that if I really wanted to get knocked up, I should tuck my knees into my chest after having sex.

Confused and not wanting to sound creepy I asked her, “Is it knees forward or back?”

“It’s knees forward and chest up!” she said with great gusto!

Suspecting something was different and being unusually late, I took a home pregnancy test. When I showed the results to Jonathan, he was speechless.

At the time, we had been planning a getaway to Hawaii before I had to start filming the second season of
Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis.
My gynecologist said she was concerned that I would miscarry because my hormone levels were very low and dropping, which indicates a possible weak pregnancy. She strongly advised us to cancel our trip.

I was very upset and torn by my doctor’s warning. I called my former gynecologist for a second opinion. I had stopped seeing her because she was no longer delivering babies. I was sobbing on the phone as I explained my situation.

“Jenni, women are walking with jugs on their heads in Africa while carrying babies. If you are going to maintain this pregnancy, you will, and your baby will be fine. Go on your trip,” she said.