“Well, it’s more than a gathering, really. A friend of Charles is passing through Paradise Haven and is staying at Charles’s hotel. Mr. Martonella and his company have agreed to perform for Charles. Charles thought your friends might enjoy it, so he invited them along with several other prominent business acquaintances. Mr. Barrington said you had plans to meet for tea.” Mother reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a post, then handed it to Leah. “So he asked me to give this to you.”
Leah took the envelope and gazed at the waxed seal with the embossed letter
B.
She slid her thumb under the red circle and opened the letter.
My dearest Leah,
I hope you do not mind, but there has been a change in plans. Rather than tea this afternoon, Mr. Barker has been kind enough to invite us to his home this evening to attend an opera. I have taken the liberty of accepting his invitation on your behalf. Also, Elizabeth has requested that you ask your friend Mr. Lure to join us. If this is not agreeable to either one of you, please send a post straightaway to let us know.
With fond regards,
Fitzwilliam Barrington
Leah folded the letter. She’d never been to an opera before. What did one even wear to such a thing? She’d already worn the two new bustle gowns she’d made, and there was no time to make a third.
“Well, what do you think, dear?”
Leah looked over at her mother. “I’m not sure. I’ll talk to Jake and see what he thinks.”
“Why do you care what Jake thinks?” Abby joined in the conversation, although her question was pointed.
“Because, Abbs. He was invited, too.”
“So? What’s that got to do with you? Elizabeth invited him.”
Leah sighed. “I just meant I need to ask him if he wants to go. If not, then I need to send word to Elizabeth.”
“Oh.” Abby tossed the last bite of her toast with apple butter on it into her mouth. “If you say so.” A twinkle sparked through her eyes.
The comments Abby had made the night before about Leah and Jake flittered through her mind again. Abby was up to something where she and Jake were concerned.
Well, Leah wasn’t going to take the bait dangled in front of her. “Mother, I’ll go see if Jake wants to accept Elizabeth’s invitation. I’ll be right back.”
“Finish your breakfast first. Then go.” Mother pointed to her loaded plate.
Paying no attention to her manners, Leah downed her food in record time and placed her dishes in the sink.
“Tell Jake hi for me. And give him a kiss for me, too. Or better yet, make it from you.” Abby winked at her.
Leah sent Abby a warning look, glanced at her mother with a what-can-I-say shrug and made a dash for the door. When she stepped onto the porch, she heard her mother ask Abby, “What was that all about?”
Despite her wanting to know what Abby’s response was, Leah didn’t wait to hear it. She shuddered just thinking about what it would be.
Down at the barn, Leah searched for Jake, but he wasn’t there. She checked the corrals, the chicken coop and the hog barn, but she couldn’t find him at any of those places, either. She glanced over at Michael’s house, wondering if he went there. Leah rushed over and knocked lightly on the door.
Michael stepped into view holding one of the twins. “Morning, Leah. Come on in.”
“Good morning, Michael.” She stepped inside and froze. By the fireplace stood Jake, holding the other twin. The baby looked tiny against Jake’s giant form. What an image he made. One that made her heart flip.
Jake looked over at her and smiled. “Morning.”
“Oh. Um. Good morning to you, too.” The words fumbled from her mouth. Embarrassed by her stammering, Leah looked around for her sister-in-law. “Where’s Selina?”
“Taking a nice, hot bath.”
“Oh.” Why had she come again? Her brain was no longer filling her in on such important details.
Michael raised his eyebrows with concern. “Did you need something?”
“What? Oh. Yes. I was looking for Jake, actually.”
“Well, looks like you found him.”
Leah took the baby from Michael. “How’s Auntie’s Joey doing?” she cooed and played with his chin until he smiled. She tore her attention from the baby. “When you get a minute, Jake, I need to talk to you.”
“We can talk now. I was just getting ready to leave.”
“You can’t leave yet,” Michael blurted.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because. Who’s going to help me with the twins? I can’t take care of them myself.” Her brother looked absolutely horrified.
Leah cleared her throat to stifle her laugh. “You don’t need any help, Michael. Every time I’ve been over here, you’ve done just fine with them.”
“Yes, but Selina wasn’t in the tub then. And you, Mother or Abby was here. I’ve never been alone with them before.”
“Well, it’s time you start.” She handed Joey back to him. “They won’t bite. I promise. Come on, Jake.”
Jake looked at her then at Michael, who looked as lost as a puppy in the woods.
“Come on, sis. Don’t leave me like this. Please.”
She couldn’t stand seeing the look of desperation on Michael’s face or indecision on Jake’s, so she quit toying with them. “Okay. Fine. You win. What I have to ask Jake can wait.”
She walked over to Jake. “May I?” She motioned toward Lottie. In a heartbeat, Jake handed her to Leah as if she were a hot coal.
Leah chuckled. Men. They wanted children but couldn’t handle them for more than five minutes.
Minutes ticked by. Leah changed both the baby’s diapers, put them in a pail inside the laundry room and went back into the living room. When her bustling was finished, Selina was already out and in the rocker with a baby in each arm. Her face glowed. “Mornin’.”
“Good morning to you, too. How are you feeling today?”
“Happier than a squirrel with a sack full of hickory nuts.”
Leah laughed. Her sister-in-law came up with the funniest sayings.
“Well, I’d better run along.” Jake moved to the door. “Still have a couple of things to do before heading home to get ready for this afternoon.”
Leah’s attention went from Selina to Jake.
“Whatcha doin’ this afternoon?” Selina set the rocking chair in motion.
“Going to some tea party.” Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You? Going to a tea party? This I’ve got to see.” Michael chortled.
“Can’t picture you at no tea party neither, Jake.”
“Yeah, well, somehow I got roped into one.”
“Well, you don’t have to go,” Leah interjected with just a touch of annoyance.
“There’s where you’re wrong.” He lowered his gaze at her, and it held no levity. “I do.”
“Why? Nobody’s making you go. If you don’t want to, don’t.”
“I have my reasons for going.” He took a quick glance at Michael and then back at her.
Leah frowned. What was that all about? “Well, the plans have changed, anyway.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Don’t look so relieved, Jake. If you didn’t like the idea of a tea party, you’re not going to like this one, either.”
Chapter Fifteen
D
read pitted into Jake. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than a tea party with a pious, arrogant man who was out to steal his best friend. “You can tell me on the way to the barn.”
They said their goodbyes and headed out the door and through the pine trees.
Yak yak yak yak
—the fast sound of a magpie greeted them along with an earthy scent of foliage and forest floor.
“So what’s this change of plans?” Jake glanced down at her as he kept walking.
A twig snapped under Leah’s foot. Her ankle twisted, and she lost her balance. Jake’s hand shot out and steadied her. “You okay?”
“Fine. Thanks.”
He gave a quick nod and a short frown.
“At breakfast this morning, Mother gave me a note from Fitzwilliam.” Hopefully the note said he was leaving town. A man could wish, anyway.
“Mr. Barker’s friend is in town with his opera company. They’re going to perform for a group of Mr. Barker’s friends and business acquaintances this evening. They invited the Barringtons and us to come.”
“Us?” Jake throat constricted. A group of people? In a crowded room? His heart raced and his palms started to sweat just thinking about it.
“Jake?” Leah’s hand rested on his arm. “You okay?”
He stopped and tried to force a smile on his face, to act like everything was fine, but it wasn’t. He struggled to breathe.
“Take a deep breath, Jake.” Her eyes locked on his, and he searched them for more direction.
“Come on, Jake. Take in a deep breath. You can do it,” she coaxed.
He continued to follow her instructions until his breathing returned to normal. Because of Leah, this time it hadn’t taken long.
“Thank you, Leah.”
“You’re welcome. I’m just glad you told me what happens to you. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known what was wrong or how to help you.”
He nodded, grateful that he had shared his embarrassing problem with her. This was the first time the panic attack lasted only a minute or so. They resumed walking toward the ranch yard.
“I’ll send word that you won’t be going.”
This time he grasped her arm and stopped her. “Didn’t say I wasn’t going.”
“But how can you?”
“Is it indoors or outdoors?”
“Um. I don’t know. Mother might. Let’s go ask her.”
“No. You ask her. I’ll be down at the barn. Have to finish mucking stalls. Then I’ll be done.”
“I don’t understand why my brothers give you such dirty jobs. Why don’t they have the hired hands do it?”
“They didn’t give them to me. I offered.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Why not? I’m a farmer, remember? Not some highfalutin man who thinks he’s too good to scoop manure. It’s what I do. It’s how I make my living.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you, Jake. I know you’re not like Mr. Barrington.”
“How’d you know I was talking about him?”
“Because I’ve noticed you don’t like him.”
“That obvious, huh?”
“Yes, it is. And it’s okay. You don’t have to like him. I’m not sure I do, either.”
“Does this mean you’re not gonna marry him?” Hope pounced on him.
“I didn’t say that.”
“I’m confused.”
Leah stopped and turned those beautiful sky-blue eyes up at him. “I’m not marrying for love. I’m marrying so I can leave.”
“You’d really marry someone you didn’t like? Or love?”
“Why’s that so strange to you? It happens all the time. Besides, you asked me to marry you, and you don’t love me.”
“True. But you and I are good friends. We get along great.”
“It still would have been a marriage of convenience.”
“Well, yes. So, what’s that got to do with what we’re talking about?”
“I’m just saying that not everyone is lucky enough to find love. Some people have to marry for convenience’s sake.”
“True again. But you ought to at least like the person you’re thinking about marrying. If you’re not sure you even like the fellow, why would you consider marrying him, even out of convenience?”
“Because staying here bothers me more than marrying a man like Fitzwilliam does.”
“You really hate this place that much that you would marry a man you didn’t like just to leave here?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like him. I said I’m not sure how I feel about him. Besides, there’s more to it than that, Jake.”
“Like what?”
“Like... I don’t want to talk about this or Fitzwilliam anymore. Let’s get back to what we were originally talking about.”
He let out a frustrated breath. “You always do that.”
“Do what?”
“Leave or change the subject when it gets too much for you.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Well, even if I do, so what?”
“Look, Leah. I don’t want to argue with you, okay? I need to get busy. So if you would go ask your mother, I would appreciate it.” He turned on his heel. “I’ll see you later.”
“Now who’s walking away?” Her question bounced off his back.
He didn’t answer but kept on walking. Jake couldn’t believe she was willing to marry someone just to get away from there.
At the barn, he slid the double doors open and stepped inside. Soiled straw scent lingered in the air. He snatched a hay fork off the nail, picked up the wheelbarrow handles and headed to the first stall. While he cleaned, he thought about Leah and her comment about mucking. That comment only served to remind him that she was out of his league. He had thought maybe they would have a chance, especially after last night, but now he knew there would never be a chance for him. But that wouldn’t stop him from doing whatever it took to keep her from marrying Fitzwilliam. His gut had warned him time and again about the man.
Jake tossed the last of the soiled straw into the wheelbarrow, grabbed the handles and wheeled it out of the stall.
“There you are.”
He set the wheelbarrow down and faced Leah.
“Mother said Mr. Barker invited about forty people. He’s going to have it at his house in the ballroom. I asked if she’d seen the room before and she said she had. I asked about how big it was, if it had doors. She said it was huge and that there were several double glass doors. She wanted to know why I asked, but I didn’t tell her.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Do you think you’ll be all right in there?”
“Should be fine long as I sit next to the double doors.” Jake hated he even had to think this way. That he couldn’t defeat this demon that plagued him whenever he was stuck in large crowds.
“Okay, then. I’ll make sure you do.”
“Look, Leah. I don’t want you saying anything to anyone. It’s embarrassing enough that you know.”
“I won’t tell anyone. I’ll figure out some way to work it out. Trust me, okay?”
He set his jaw. “Thought you didn’t want me to go.”
Leah tilted her head. A lone, curly strand slid across her cheek.
Without thinking, he reached for it and tucked it behind her ear. His fingers trailed along her jawbone as he retracted his hand.
Questions lingered across her face and eyes. Questions he had no answers to. Like why he’d allowed his hand to follow the soft contour of her jaw. Why he enjoyed the feel of her soft skin. Or why he had the urge to take her in his arms and taste her sweet lips.
What are you doing? Those kinds of thoughts can only lead to heartbreak.
He let his hand fall to his side. “Sorry.” It was all he could manage before he clutched the handles on the wheelbarrow and headed out the barn and into the dumping area.
“Jake.” Leah stood behind him as he raised the wheelbarrow handles and let the soiled straw fall into the pit. “What made you think I didn’t want you to go?”
Relieved she hadn’t mentioned the incident in the barn, he set the wheelbarrow down and faced her. “Earlier you said I didn’t have to go. That nobody was making me. I figured that meant you didn’t want me to.”
“Sweet twinkling stars above, Jake. That’s not it.” She shook her head and the soft curls he’d touched moments ago kissed her cheeks, something he wished he could do. This time, however, he roped in his urges before he did something foolish again. “You sounded like someone was making you go. I didn’t want you to think you had to for my sake. I know you said you’d help me, but you really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“Do you want me to go?” His eyes touched on hers.
She lowered her lashes. “Yes. I really don’t want to go if you’re not there.”
“Why, Leah?”
She looked up at him. “What do you mean, ‘why’?”
“Why is it so important for you to have me there? To help you? Is that your only reason?”
“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Jake.” Wide innocent eyes frowned at him.
“Never mind.” He had hoped for something more. What, he wasn’t sure, but something that said he mattered. That their friendship mattered. Anything.
Who was he kidding?
He wanted to hear she couldn’t live without him. But that wasn’t going to happen. At least not the way he wanted it to. He shoved his hands through his thick hair.
Why did he keep torturing himself with something that was never going to be?
Even if he was in love with her, he didn’t think that would be enough to sway her to stay. Good thing his heart wasn’t fully engaged. His feelings for her were growing, but he wasn’t in love with her. Or was he? He didn’t know. He only knew this whole thing about her leaving battered his heart with bruises he thought would never heal. “I’ll go.”
Leah blinked. “What?”
“I’ll go, Leah. I’ll be there to help you. But this is the last time.”
“What do you mean ‘this is the last time’?”
“I mean, you’ll probably be getting married soon. It’s best I back out of the picture after this. You don’t need me hanging around while some man is trying to court you.”
“Court me? Fitzwilliam and I haven’t even talked about that.”
“Isn’t that why he’s here? To court you? To see if there can be a future between you two?”
“Well, um, yes. But nothing’s been said yet.”
“Just the same. After today, I won’t be going with you anymore.”
“What about Elizabeth?”
“What about her?”
“She needs an escort.” He could tell by the look on her face that she was grasping at anything to keep him with her.
“This whole thing was your idea, Leah. Not mine.”
“Yes, but you like her, don’t you?”
“She’s nice enough. What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Jake.” Leah laid her hand on his arm. “Please. Please don’t leave me alone with him. I need you there.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel protected when you’re there.”
“Do you need protecting?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know why it’s important to me. But it is. Please. Please say you’ll go with me.”
Her pleading eyes stared up at him. How could he refuse his best friend?
Friend.
He was growing to hate that word.
* * *
Leah glanced at the clock. Time to head downstairs. She took one last look in the full-length mirror. Today, she didn’t take as much care with her attire. She put on a modest blue silk dress that hung around her shoulders. Her hair was rolled at the sides and gathered into a spun bun at the back of her head. No combs or flowers adorned it. Her joy at going this evening had diminished with her talk with Jake.
When he’d told her that she was on her own after this evening, a million needles pricked her heart. She didn’t want to think about what the pain in her heart and soul meant. She had an idea, but admitting it, she would never allow.
“Lord, have mercy on me” was all she could manage before descending the stairs.
“You look nice, Lee-Lee.”
“Thanks, Abbs. So do you.” Her voice was monotone.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Leah, something’s wrong. I can tell.”
“You girls ready to go?” Mother stepped into the room.
“Yes, Mother.” Leah forced herself to respond in a normal tone. She didn’t want any more questions.
They grabbed their wraps and headed to the landau carriage Mr. Barker had sent. The driver opened the doors and helped them inside. Leah kept to herself and her gray thoughts. Even Abby gave up trying to talk with her, and Leah couldn’t blame her sister. Her heart just wasn’t in this.
The landau rolled to a stop in front of Mr. Barker’s pristine white, three-story mansion with four white pillars in front. Bay windows sparkled on the right and left sides of the house. White and lavender blooming syringa bushes filled the air with their sweetness. Manicured shrubs formed a barrier wall to the backyard. Wild pink roses climbed the outside walls. Their scent mingled with the syringa bushes.
Even though Mr. Barker’s house was enormous, it was only half the size of the mansion she’d been born in back in New York, and she wondered for a second what Fitzwilliam would think of it.
The driver helped them out and a footman escorted them into the house.
Inside, they were led to a large oval room with light brown and tan floors so shiny they looked like glass sparkling in the sunlight. Gold and white chandeliers dangled from the ceiling. Ceiling to floor, reddish-brown brocade curtains with gold scarf swags and tassels hung over the three evenly spaced windows at the end of the room. Fine gold and glass sconces centered each one.
At the front of the room a Bösendorfer grand piano stood on the right. Rows of white Chippendale chairs with padded seats covered in the same material as the curtains were centered in the room, leaving plenty of space on each side, down the middle, and even more space behind. Large white pillars like the ones outside Mr. Barker’s house surrounded two sizable glass French doors on each side of the chairs.
Leah’s chest expanded with relief, knowing Jake would be fine in this room. It certainly was large enough not to feel closed in. Even better, the doors were open and there were several ways of escape.
She glanced around to see if Jake had arrived yet, but she didn’t see him. She did spot Mr. Barker, however, amid a group of elegant men and women. The men wore an array of gray, blue and black frock coats with matching trousers, white starched shirts and bow ties. The women wore silk and tulle dresses, satin and lace, faille and lace, and even crepe de chine and velvet, and all were bustle gowns with bows and flowers made from satin ribbons. Exquisite diamonds, rubies and sapphires inlaid in gold adorned their necks and gloved wrists.