“Yeah, well, Elle clearly doesn’t feel the
same way.” Caleb knew he couldn’t do anything to change Elle’s mind. He
couldn’t force her to love him, nor would he want to try. He wanted someone who
felt about him the way he did about Elle, and he had to keep the faith he’d
find that… one day.
“You’re bringin’ me down.” Drake sighed.
“Why don’t you just call her already?”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Why the hell not?”
They’d covered this before, and Caleb was
in no mood to resurrect the reasons he’d decided to give up on a future with
Elle. “You know why. Don’t ask again.”
“Anything worth having is worth fighting
for.”
Caleb glared at his friend, ready to tear
him a new one if he continued giving unwanted advice. “That’s easy for you to
say. You have the woman of your dreams in your bed every night.”
Bed.
Caleb
wished he hadn’t brought that up. His had felt cold and lonely for months.
Whenever he thought about dating again, he’d turn on the radio and hear Elle’s
voice or flick on the TV and see her beautiful face, and it would wipe the idea
of another woman right out of his head.
“Yeah, but that didn’t come without one hell
of a fight,” Drake said. “You know that better than anyone. You saw what it did
to me when she went back home to stay with her mama after her stroke. I thought
I’d lost her for good, but she came back because she loved me as much as I
loved her. Just think, if I’d given up and moved on to someone else, I would
have missed out on being with the woman I was meant to be with.”
“I haven’t moved on,” Caleb said, gritting
his teeth. “As much as I might want to, I can’t move on. She’s always there in
the back of my mind, reminding me of what we had, of the future we could have
had if she hadn’t bailed on me.”
Drake looked at him out of the corner of
his eye, as though he was considering the wisdom of what he was about to say.
“You gave her reason to bail on you, man. Don’t act like you’re the innocent
victim in all of this.”
Caleb cracked his knuckles as he glared at
Drake. “Did I say I was innocent? Did I claim to be a victim? I own my part in
this, but Elle doesn’t seem willing to do the same. I wasn’t the only one who
withheld the truth. The difference is I’d forgive her in a heartbeat, but she
doesn’t seem willing to cut me any slack.”
“There’s only one way to find out for
sure,” Drake said, checking his watch. “She’s due home in a couple of days. Go
see her. Find out how she’s feeling.”
“I think the fact that she hasn’t contacted
me in months gives me a pretty good idea of where her head’s at.”
“So that’s it?” Drake asked, looking
disgusted. “You’re gonna give up on Elle just like that?”
A wave of sadness washed over Caleb when he
thought about never seeing her again, but he wouldn’t let Drake see it. If he
did, his friend would be relentless. “Not like I have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, man.”
“Not this time.”
“So what, you’re gonna go back to Vana?”
“Don’t be an ass.” Caleb was insulted he
would even suggest that. Drake was just trying to instigate a fight to get him
to admit his pain over losing Elle. “Vana’s back with her ex.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m happy for her.” Caleb stared at the screen.
He’d lost track of the score half an hour ago and couldn’t care less about
watching the highlights.
“You sure?” Drake asked. “No residual
feelings?”
“Not for Vana.” He let out a slow breath.
“Elle’s got my heart. Period.”
Drake smiled. “As long as you still feel
that way, maybe there’s hope.”
***
Elle felt guilty for stopping by Drake and
Cassidy’s house without calling, but she knew Drake was the only one who could
give her some insight into what Caleb was thinking.
“Oh my God!” Cassidy squealed, pulling Elle
into a tight embrace. “I didn’t know you were back. It’s so great to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, Cass.” Elle
hugged her friend tighter. She’d been an emotional basket case since the doctor
confirmed her pregnancy. The only time she’d been able to hold it together was
when she was on stage. “I’m sorry I stopped by without calling first, I—”
“Don’t be silly.” Cassidy linked arms with
Elle as she pulled her inside. She kicked the door shut and giggled. “You know
you don’t need an invitation.”
“Is Drake around?” Elle looked into the
formal study Drake often occupied when he was working from home.
“No, but he called to say he’s on his way.
Can I get you something to drink while you wait?”
“Um, just water would be great, thanks.”
“Follow me.” Cassidy lead Elle into the
kitchen where she reached into the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “Would
you like a glass?”
“No, that’s fine. Thanks,” Elle said,
reaching for the bottle Cassidy held out.
Cassidy tipped her head from one side to
the other. “I can’t figure out what it is, but you look different somehow.” She
picked up a lock of Elle’s long auburn hair. “Did you get a haircut?
Highlights?”
Elle laughed nervously. Nikki had told her
she’d been glowing
after their final performance last night, and she
feared Cassidy may be picking up the same vibe. “You’re seeing things, my
friend. I look the same now as I did when I left.”
Except for the six pounds
I’ve gained.
She hoped the stretchy tights and brightly colored tunic hid
that.
“I don’t know about that.” Cassidy tapped a
manicured finger against her lips. “There’s something—”
“Where are the kids?” Elle asked, hoping to
distract her friend.
“They went out for ice cream with their
nana. They should be back soon.” Cassidy claimed a stool at the breakfast bar
and propped her chin in her hand. “I heard y’all got great reviews on the tour.
It must have been amazing to share a stage with performers like that.”
Cassidy was a talented songwriter, and Elle
had had the good fortune of taking a couple of her songs to the top of the
country music charts. “You could have had this life,” Elle reminded her, taking
a sip of the water. She’d been feeling a little dehydrated all day, and she
knew how dangerous that could be in her condition.
“Yeah, I guess.” Cassidy stretched her
arms, straightening her back. “But I wouldn’t trade that life for the one I
have. I get the best of both worlds this way.” She gestured around the huge
house. “I get to be at home with my kids and write music. It doesn’t hurt that
I have an amazingly supportive husband.”
“No, I guess it doesn’t,” Elle said. She
wondered if Caleb would be as supportive of her career when he found out about
the baby. “So you never wish you’d had a chance to make a name for yourself?”
Elle blushed, dipping her head when she realized how condescending that
sounded. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Cassidy laughed and covered Elle’s hand
with her own. “Don’t worry, I know what you meant. Songwriters work behind the
scenes. We never get any real credit for our hits, but I’m okay with that. I
don’t need the accolades. I’m just happy to be able to work from home, make my
own money, set my own hours, and have an outlet for my creativity.”
Elle had made a name for herself as a
singer/songwriter, and she knew she could make a great living as one or the
other, but each filled different parts of her soul. She couldn’t imagine making
the choice Cassidy had. Elle loved being onstage. Performing in front of a
capacity crowd gave her a high like nothing she’d ever experienced, and she
couldn’t give that up for anything or anyone. Not even the man she loved or the
baby they’d made.
“You okay?” Cassidy ran her hand over
Elle’s forearm. “You seem kind of distracted.”
“I’m sorry.” Elle bit her lip. She hadn’t
told anyone about the pregnancy, but if anyone would understand what she was
going through, Cassidy would. “I guess I’m wondering if it’s even possible to
have it all.”
“You mean a solid marriage, kids, and a
career that takes you all over the world?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know. I wrestled with that
question myself. For me, I decided it wasn’t possible. I wanted to be a
different kind of mother than my mother had been.” She winced, obviously
thinking of some painful memory from her childhood. “My mama worked crazy hours
as a waitress when my sister and I were growing up, and during her down time,
she’d crawl inside a bottle—to relax, she claimed.”
Elle knew Cassidy’s mother well, and she
was nothing like the picture her daughter painted. “Thank God people can
change.”
Cassidy smiled. “You can say that again.
I’m not complaining really. My childhood made me realize how important having a
family and being a good mother was to me. I was so afraid of screwing up and
letting them down. When I had to choose between pursuing music and staying
home, it was kind of a no-brainer.”
“Do you think someone who makes a different
choice is selfish?”
“Not at all.” She smiled. “Take someone
like you for example; you’re already a huge star. I may never have become as
big as you are, so I wasn’t sacrificing as much as you would be if you made the
choice I did.” Cassidy laughed. “You don’t look convinced.”
“I love my career and my fans, but I can’t
deny my life feels kind of empty sometimes.”
“I can understand that,” Cassidy said. “No
matter how great it seems to be a celebrity, I know it’s not all it’s cracked
up to be. You always have to be on guard, wondering who’s out to exploit you.”
Elle raised her head, meeting Cassidy’s
eyes. “You’re talking about what happened with Ricky?”
“I’m so sorry about that, hon.”
“I went to see him in jail.” Elle sat up
straighter. She was proud of herself when she thought of the way she’d
confronted him.
“Really? How did that go?”
Elle smiled. “Let’s just say I got the last
word, not to mention the closure I needed. I can see him for what he was—an
opportunist. I’m sure he conned a lot of people, not just me.”
“You’re probably right. Guys like that make
a career of taking advantage of people.”
“Bottom line is, I don’t blame myself
anymore. I tried to be a good friend to him, and he threw it back in my face.
That doesn’t mean I won’t try to be a good friend to people who deserve my love
and respect, like you and Drake.”
“And Caleb?”
Elle tensed at his name. Even though she’d
come there to talk about him, she was afraid. What if Cassidy told her Caleb
had moved on or that he’d reconciled with Vana?
“You know,” Cassidy said, “I’ve known Caleb
a long time. They don’t come any nicer than him.”
Elle knew Cassidy was just trying to help,
but being reminded of Caleb’s attributes only made her heart hurt more. “I know
that.”
“Then why won’t you give him another
chance?” Cassidy asked, on the verge of pouting. “You guys would be so great
together.”
Elle smiled. “You won’t be satisfied until
everyone is as happy as you and Drake, will you?”
Cassidy shrugged. “Can I help it if I’m a
hopeless romantic?”
Elle searched for the right words. “Have
you seen Caleb lately? How is he?” She stopped just short of asking whether he
missed her.
“He’s okay, I guess,” Cassidy said,
shrugging. “I think he’s just putting on a brave face so I won’t worry about
him.”
Elle smiled. “You are a caretaker. If any
one of your friends is going through a rough time, you’re the first one wanting
to know how you can make it better.”
“Yeah.” Cassidy looked defeated. “But I
can’t fix things for you and Caleb, and I hate that.”
“I know you would if you could,” Elle said,
trying to lessen her friend’s guilt about not being able to save the world.
“But Caleb and I have to work this out on our own.”
Cassidy perked up. “Does that mean you’re
willing to try to work things out?”
“I don’t know if he is.” Elle was just
hedging. She wasn’t ready to swallow her pride just yet.
“I’d say he is.”
Elle jumped when she heard Drake’s voice
behind her. She’d been so wrapped up in thoughts of Caleb, she hadn’t even
heard him come in. She opened her arms to Drake. “Get over here. I’ve missed
you.”
“You’re trying to change the subject,” he
said, taking her into his arms before pulling back to kiss her forehead. “It’s
not going to work, you know.”
Elle stuck her tongue out, making him
laugh. “Get off my back. I just got here. I don’t need you giving me
unsolicited advice.” Drake was one of the few people who’d always accepted Elle
exactly as she was, and she loved him for that.
“Someone needs to step up and fix your
life. God knows you’ve made one hell of a mess of things.”
“Leave her alone,” Cassidy said, walking
around the island to greet her husband. She kissed him on the cheek when he
pulled her into his side. “She was just asking me how Caleb’s doing. Has he
said anything to you about Elle?”