Haven: Renegade Saints MC (16 page)

A little thrill went through me and I made eye contact with Max, nodding and silently vowing to keep my mouth shut, no matter what. After a few seconds, Max resumed lightly stroking me with a finger. He used his other hand to alternate between my breasts, pinching and stroking and rolling my nipples between his fingers until they were engorged with blood. My whole body was at attention, like every cell inside of me belonged to Max. Every hair was standing on end, every nerve ending was directed towards Max and the pleasure he was giving me. When he reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife, fear hit me square in the gut.

Max looked at me as he whipped out the blade. “Do you trust me, Tori?”

I nodded slowly. I did. Even if I didn’t, there was no way I’d be able to escape. Max could run faster than I could, and I doubted that Danny was still here. I held my breath as I watched Max lower the knife to my thighs. The cold metal made me jump and shiver but Max was careful not to cut me. He dragged the dull edge of the knife against my skin. With one hand, he pulled my panties away from my hips until he could look down and see my wet pussy. I shuddered as he slipped the blade of the knife inside the fabric and jerked up. I felt the material rise against my ass, then split in two and tear away.

Max grinned. He slid the knife back into his pocket and pulled my shredded panties to the side, tossing them to the floor. He got down on his hands and knees and slowly crawled towards me, nuzzling the inside of my thigh with his face. The combination of the rough stubble on his chin and his hot breath was enough to set me off, and soon I was moaning and rolling my hips, desperate for him to come closer to my clit.

Max pushed me down so I was lying on my back. He gently slapped the inside of my thighs, getting me to spread even wider, and stuck his tongue inside of my pussy. The feel of something warm and wet fucking me was incredible, and I moaned softly, thrusting my hips against Max’s face. His nose was bumping my clit and I felt little shocks of heaven every time we made contact.

“God, yeah,” Max moaned. He slipped two fingers inside of me and began to wriggle them around as he fastened his mouth on my swollen clit and began to suck. I gasped—the pleasure was so sharp, so intense, that I felt like I was going to come instantly. Max kept up a slow, deliberate rhythm. He’d bring me close to the edge until I was squirming and sweating, then slow down and gently lick me like a cat lapping milk. My whole body was on fire, and I knew that I was about to explode when he finally pulled away.

Max wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned at me. With one hand, he yanked down his briefs. With the other, he grabbed my ankles and dragged me towards the edge of the bed so my ass was almost hanging off. Before I could respond, Max put his hands on my waist and flipped me over onto my belly. My stiff nipples rubbed against the duvet, sending illicit pleasure through my body and I blushed when Max spread my legs, knowing that he was looking directly at my asshole.

“Someday,” Max said in a low voice as he caressed the back of my thigh with a hand. “Someday, Tori, I’m gonna take you in the ass.” I shivered. Max stepped closer—I felt the bed vibrate and shake with his movement—and a moment later I felt his hard cock teasing the entrance to my pussy. I squirmed and moaned into the duvet, wriggling my hips and pushing back, desperate to have him inside of me. Max grabbed a generous handful of my ass. Without warning, he slid all the way inside of me, until his cock was buried to the hilt. I was so wet that it felt absolutely amazing, and I cried out. Max let out a groan. He placed his hands on my hips and began to pull me back and forth, rubbing me on the bed. The pressure on my nipples felt incredible and I cried out in a hoarse voice as Max increased the speed. I could feel his hard cock pulsing and throbbing inside of me.

As Max slammed against me, spasms of pleasure rocketed through my body. I closed my eyes and let out a full-throated moan into the duvet. Max grabbed a handful of my ass and squeezed hard, thrusting hard and groaning loudly. I could feel that his muscles were tensed and stretched out, but I was unprepared for the gale of force that landed on me. Max was fucking me harder than I’d ever been fucked, almost raw enough to hurt. He slowed down and gently slipped a hand under my body, rubbing my clit in time with his thrusts. It was just what I needed, and soon I found myself holding my breath and crying out with my eyes screwed closed, grabbing fistfuls of the duvet as I came hard.

Max’s own orgasm was just as rough, and followed a few seconds later. I felt his cum gush into my body and I gasped as the shockwaves of feeling subsided. My legs were shaky and weak and every inch of my skin was covered with a damp sweat.

Max pulled away and flopped down on the bed next to me. “That was great,” he said with a grin. “How about some food?”

After we had dinner, we came back into the bedroom and lay down. I was still feeling kind of shaky from the sex, and drowsy, and like I wanted to be closer to Max. When he flopped down on his back, I snuggled up to his chest. Max didn’t put his arm around me, but he didn’t exactly move to push me away either.

I could feel that we were at a comfortable silence. Finally, I took a deep breath and worked up my courage.

“Max, who is Talia?”

“What?” Max’s voice was sharp and clear. He sat up, knocking me off of his chest. “What did you just ask me?”

“I found a brush and a mirror, in your room,” I said, swallowing nervously. “They were engraved with her name. Who is she?”

Max didn’t answer for a moment. The silence had a crisp, full sound to it. The room was so dark that I couldn’t tell whether or not Max was looking at me, and the warning bells sounding in my chest were already making my regret asking.

“She was my fiancée,” Max said slowly. “She died in a car crash years ago.”

Oh my god
. I couldn’t help it, I gasped. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I had no idea…I…well, I’m actually not sure what I was thinking.”

Max didn’t reply.

“Can you tell me more about her?”

Max still didn’t say anything. Finally, I rolled onto my side, so I was facing him.

“Max, please,” I begged. “Please tell me. I really want to know!”

“Go to sleep, Tori,” Max said. “I’m tired, okay? I’m really fucking tired right now.”

He rolled over. I felt pinpricks of anger and shame flood my body. How dare he. Just who the hell did he think he was, anyway? A thousand thoughts were storming around in my brain and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to relax. Max had a fiancée? And that was who Talia was? Suddenly, I felt angry and embarrassed that he’d never mentioned anything about her to me before. I felt like a fool for believing that Max could have loved me, or really even liked me. Tears of shame pricked my eyes and I had to reach up hastily and wipe them away. I hated myself. I felt like the world’s biggest fool, like a huge moron. I felt so dumb for believing that this could work, that it wasn’t just because Max felt sorry for me.

No. It was just like he said; he married me because of the promise he’d made to my father. This wasn’t romance for Max, this was just repaying a debt, or a favor, or whatever you wanted to call it. I could feel my heart hardening in my chest, like it was icing over.
Stupid Tori
, I cursed myself in my head.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I scowled. Something told me that no matter how many pills I took tonight, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Max

The next morning, while Tori was asleep next to me, I crept out of bed and took my laptop into the kitchen. I was irritated with Tori for bringing that shit up right before she wanted to fall asleep, but I almost felt guilty after having listened to her toss and turn all night. I knew she was pissed off at me, but I couldn’t tell her about Talia now. Not with all of this shit going on, and especially not with the discovery of Talia’s fingerprints on that letter from Kristoff’s house.

I knew that keeping secrets from my wife wasn’t a good thing, but basically I didn’t see another way around it. At least not for the time being.

I made myself some coffee, then hunkered down in the corner seat of my big kitchen table. With shaking fingers, I typed Talia’s name into the search bar at the top of my screen. Pain flashed through my head and I had to close my eyes and look away for a moment; ever since Talia died, I’d always dreamed of finding out that she was still alive. Now that I knew for sure, it was almost like a nightmare had come true instead of a dream. If Talia was really alive, if she’d really faked her own death and disappeared…

I swallowed hard. Talia would never have done that. My Talia would have always found a way back to me. We loved each other; we were engaged for crissakes! We were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

I decided that if Talia was still alive, she must have been blackmailed or guilted into “dying” somehow. She never would have done this to hurt me, hell, she never would have done
anything
to hurt me. She was my fiancée, my love.

I made myself open my eyes and look at the search results. They were just as bad as I’d feared.

Horrific Accident Claims Life of Local Beauty!
proclaimed one headline. Another was
Local Girl Dismembered in Vicious Car Accident!

I let out a sigh and raked my hand through my hair. This was going to be harder than I thought, but I wouldn’t let that get to me. I had to nut up and figure out what was really going on, or else I knew that Tori and I would be in danger. Someone was out to get me, and they were using Talia’s death as a way to fuck with me all the more. I couldn’t believe what was going on; I hated thinking about this.

I’ve always been a little weird about death. I didn’t get funerals, because they weren’t for the dead. They were for the people left alive, and the ritual always seemed like a fucking strange one: oh, yeah, let’s dance around this coffin and sing hymns and then lower it into the ground while we’re all wearing black. It didn’t seem like a good way to honor someone’s life, especially Talia’s. Talia would have wanted a party for her funeral; she would have wanted everyone to get drunk and have fun. I could barely even remember her funeral; I’d been in a haze of alcohol. Danny and Paul had practically had to drag me there, and I barely remembered what the priest said or what people sang. I didn’t even remember what I’d worn.

But Talia’s headstone was something I could see in my mind as soon as I closed my eyes. We’d picked it out for her; it read
Beloved Fiancée and Faithful Friend
. In that first year after she died, I went to visit her and her grave all the time. I got so used to sitting in that spot in the cemetery, under the trees, and reading aloud that it felt like second nature. After a while, it even felt like Talia was sitting there with me, except the atmosphere of the cemetery was much quieter than anything that she would have really loved. It was peaceful, and it made me feel better. But then some of the guys started telling me that I needed to move on, to do something, anything—fuck a girl, go on a trip— and instead of telling them to fuck off, I stopped visiting the cemetery.

I forced myself to read the first article.

“Talia McCullough, 23, passed away as the result of a vicious automobile crash that happened last night. Authorities say they think she must have lost control of her car and wrapped it around a tree. She was pronounced dead on the scene, her…”

I couldn’t read anymore. I knew what came next: “her body was dismembered by the violent impact of the crash.”

I shuddered. I hated thinking about Talia’s broken, bloody body cut out of car like she was a piece of meat. I wondered if the cops had draped a blanket over her, if anyone had closed her eyes.

The night that she died, I hadn’t found out for several hours. When they told me, her body was already at the hospital, in the morgue. I had to identify her, but I started sobbing so hard when I saw her covered up on the table that they didn’t ask me to actually look at the body.

Now was I thinking that had probably been a mistake.

“Damnit, Talia, why did you have to die?” I muttered under my breath as I stared at the ceiling. “This isn’t fair, baby, you know I’m not good at being alone.”

“Max?” I heard Tori’s voice coming from the hallway. “Are you out here? Who are you talking to?”

I sighed. “No one,” I said. “Just myself. What’s up? Can’t you sleep?”

Tori slid into the seat across from me. “I’m bored, Max,” she complained. “I want to go on a walk today.”

I shook my head. “No dice, sorry,” I told her. “Not unless Danny goes with you.”

Tori frowned. “I don’t want him coming with me,” she said. “Don’t you think that would just draw
more
attention to me?”

“Your ex is a twisted fuck, Tori,” I told her sternly. “You’re not leaving.”

Tori pouted. Then she seemed to change tactics, rolling her hips in the chair and making a sexy face at me. “Well, can
you
take me out?”

“Sorry,” I said quickly, slamming my laptop shut. “I have some shit to do. I’m calling Danny; he’ll be over here in a couple of minutes.”

I didn’t wait for Tori to respond as I got up from the table with my computer and headed into the bedroom to change. She didn’t follow me; I heard her footfall pacing around the kitchen and making tea.

Tossing my laptop in a bag, I pulled on yesterday’s jeans and a clean button-down shirt. I took a deep breath and walked out of the house, throwing my laptop in the backseat of my car and climbing behind the wheel.

It only took twenty minutes before I reached Marquette Memorial Hospital, on the outskirts of town. I swallowed hard. I’d avoided this place for almost ten years, since that fateful night where I sat in the morgue and sobbed on Danny’s shoulder. This was the place that had truly broken my heart, this was the place that had truly ruined me forever.

“Hi,” a smiling secretary chirped at me. She was young, which was good, and cute, which was even better.

I winked at her. “What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ inside here today, sweetheart?”

She blushed and looked down.
Bingo
. “I don’t know,” she said with a giggle. “I’m working, I guess.”

I leaned over the counter and glanced down at the antiseptic piles of paperwork and meaningless corporate kitsch. “Do you think you’d be able to help me out with something that’s real important?”

She blinked. “I don’t know,” she said. There was a trace of fear and nervousness in her voice. “What is it?”

“Relax,” I told her. “I promise I won’t ask anything that could get you in trouble. How long have you been working here?”

The girl bit her lip and glanced at the wall. She was definitely young—younger than Tori, to be sure, maybe even twenty-one or twenty-two. She had blonde hair tied back in a long braid and big green eyes with high cheekbones.

“Um, about a year,” she said softly. “Why? Is that important?”

I grinned at her, my most heartbreaking smile. I saved it for instances like this, and rarely got a chance to use it anywhere else.

“It’s not that important,” I assured her. “I’m just looking for someone.” I let out a long sigh and allowed myself to look sad once again. “Someone who died a few years ago.”

The girl gasped. Her nametag read
Trina
. “Oh my god. That’s horrible!”

I nodded sagely. “I know it is, Trina,” I replied. A quick glance up told me that the girl was blushing.
Excellent.

“What can I do to help?”

“Well, just being here with you is making me feel a little better,” I lied. “But I’m really trying to find out what happened to this girl I loved,” I added. “Her name was Talia McCullough.”

The girl shook her head slowly. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she said in the same soft lilt. “What is it that you need?”

I put my hands on the counter and looked deeply into Trina’s eyes. “Look, Trina, I’m gonna level with you,” I said softly. “I was deeply, deeply in love with Talia. She was my moon and my stars, and I loved her more than life itself.”

Trina’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped slightly open. I could practically read her mind:
Wow, I wish I had a guy who loved me like that
.

“And I can’t find out what happened to her,” I said softly. “She was in a car accident that dismembered her,” I added. “And I think she was taken here, or rather, her remains were taken here. Is there any way you could possibly look her up in the system and let me know what you find?”

Trina sighed. “I’m afraid I can’t do that,” she said. She reached over and put a small, pale hand over of mine. “Would you like me to call the chaplain for you? Father Rosen is on duty, he’s a very good listener.”

I shook my head. “No, Trina, I’m afraid I can’t confess my heart to more than one person today,” I added, giving her a sad half smile. “And you’re sure there’s no way?” Without waiting for Trina to answer, I let out another sigh. “Talia was just so perfect,” I added. “So beautiful, you know she actually looked a little bit like you?” I blinked and wiped at my dry eyes. I wasn’t really going to cry today—I’d done all my crying years ago—but I knew that I had to be convincing.
 

Trina seemed to hesitate. “Maybe I could look,” she said softly. “Give me one second.” I watched her intent face as she typed something into the keyboard, then frowned. “Sometimes our older records archive,” she said softly. “I’m not finding Talia’s name.”

“McCullough,” I repeated, spelling it out for her. “And her first name is Talia, with an ‘ia.’”

There was a long silence, punctuated by the clatter of keys, and finally Trina gazed up at me. “There’s no record, sir, I’m sorry.”

I clapped a hand over my face and swallowed hard. “Please,” I said again, my voice breaking with the strain of emotion. “Please look, just one more time. Please!”

Trina reached out and patted my head; I wanted to slap her away but I made myself resist the urge. Panic and anxiety were building in my head and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. Why was there no record of Talia’s body in the hospital? I’d
been
here! I’d fucking seen her under that sheet.

“I’ve looked in the archives,” Trina said softly. She met my eyes with her own green orbs. “And I can’t find any record of a Talia, not even just by the first name and last initial. It’s not a very common name, so I think she would have come up by now…”

I curled my hands into fists and shoved them in my pockets. Before, I’d been faking emotion but now I was feeling all too much like I was going to have a panic attack. I couldn’t believe this. What exactly was going on?

“Please look again,” I begged. “Please, just one more time.”

There was silence while Trina typed in the required letters slowly. I watched her fingers move across the keys—she spelled Talia’s name perfectly. I was all too afraid of her sympathetic gaze meeting my own once it was over.

“Sir, I’m sorry,” Trina said in her same soft voice. “I didn’t find any record of a Talia.” She glanced up into my eyes. “Are you sure it was this hospital?”

When I left the hospital, I kicked open the doors and stormed out to my car. People were glancing at me in confusion, like it was unusual for angry men dressed in black to storm out of a county hospital. I wanted to scream at them to fuck off, to scream at the fucking universe itself. This wasn’t just an ordinary day for me, this was a day that was threatening to pull my world apart. No record of Talia’s body, no record of Talia’s death. What the fuck did all of that mean?