Read Haven: Renegade Saints MC Online
Authors: Ellen Harper
It was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.
I woke up with a scream, bolting up in bed and covering my face with my hands. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought it was going to burst out of my chest and my palms were itchy with sweat. I could feel that I’d perspired all over the sheets, leaving an almost cut-out shape of a man. The room was flooded with daylight, and the other side of the bed was empty.
“Tori!” I yelled in a strangled cry. By now, some of the most vicious images of the dream were fading. I was starting to realize that it had been absolutely ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop the fear and anxiety in my heart.
“What is it?” Tori ran out of the bathroom, her red hair thrown over one shoulder. She gazed at me with clear concern on her pretty face. “Max, what happened?”
I forced myself to laugh. “Bad dream,” I said, waving my hand. “Were those pills in the bathroom yours?”
Tori bit her lip. “I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping lately,” she said. “I went to the doctor after Silas and I broke up and he wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept thinking he was going to break in and try to hurt me.”
He probably would have, too
. I was starting to take Tori’s claims a lot more seriously now, and I felt bad for having doubted her initially. Silas was a horrible person, a really bad dude, and I didn’t want him anywhere near my wife. Not even in the same line of sight, or the same air to breathe.
“I gotta go,” I said, getting out of bed and yanking on a pair of pants. I hadn’t showered in over a day and my skin felt greasy but I knew that I had to go see Maria as soon as possible.
“What’s wrong?” Tori furrowed her brow. “Is Danny coming back over?”
I shivered at the memory of the dream again. It had been really gnarly, and I could tell some of the images were going to stay with me for a long time. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I’m going to call him now. I won’t leave until he gets here.”
Tori nodded. She sat down on the bed. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll stay here all day.”
“I’ve got some books and movies and stuff in the living room,” I told her. “You might wanna check some of those out.”
Tori didn’t look cheered. “Are you going to be out all day?”
I shrugged. “I have to go meet a friend about something,” I lied. “I shouldn’t be gone for too long. You want me to grab you anything on the way back?”
Tori wrinkled her nose. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “What do you want for dinner?”
An improbable smile crept onto my face. Here we were, the picture of domesticity. My wife asking me what I wanted for dinner as I was getting ready for the day. And some people told me that I’d never be normal!
“What is it?” Tori frowned. “What’s so funny?”
I bit my lip. Somehow, I didn’t think she’d find the image as amusing as I did. After all, she was only out for comfort. “Nothing,” I said after a moment. “And anything’s fine. That chicken was great. Maybe tacos or something?”
Tori nodded. “I’ll have Danny take me to the store.”
We stood facing each other. I felt an awkward tension in the room that I suddenly wanted to be away from desperately. Leaning forward, I kissed Tori briefly on the lips. Her lips were warm and soft and tangy; she hadn’t yet brushed her teeth. When I pulled away, she looked both surprised and pleased. Her cheeks were pinking and her lips were slightly parted.
“See you tonight,” I said before I could do anything else. “I’ll be home later.”
Tori looked away as I let myself out of the room and closed the door behind me.
The weather outside looked shitty, like it was about to start raining, but I climbed on my bike anyway. I wanted to feel the wind on my face and running through my hair. Sometimes, driving my bike felt more relaxing then getting laid. And right now I could use some relaxing.
When I got to Maria’s house, I had to knock three times before she came to the door. She answered looking distressed, worse than she had yesterday.
I frowned. “What’s going on? You look like you haven’t slept in a few days,” I said, trying to poke her in the ribs and make her laugh.
Maria twisted away before I could touch her. “Come in,” she said. She was staring at the ground with her hands in a knot in front of her. I walked behind Maria. Unlike our last visit, there were no smiles, no laughter, nothing to make me realize I was with an old friend who I trusted more than most.
“So, what did you find?”
Maria sat down. “I didn’t find anything,” she said delicately. “You know my job isn’t to do a DNA search on that letter.”
I rolled my eyes. “Cut the shit, Maria,” I told her flatly.
She tossed her dark hair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. “And besides, there was only one result.” There was a folder on the table in front of her that I tried to grab but Maria was quicker. She snatched it up and held it firmly in her lap. “You have to promise that you’re going to take me seriously,” she added.
“Of course I will.” I narrowed my eyes at her. “You think I’m some kind of hothead loser?”
“Of course not,” Maria said. Her tone was fiery. “Sorry,” she added. “I’m just feeling really tense today.” She glanced away. “Work has been stressful lately.”
“I won’t keep you long, I promise. I just want to know about what you found.”
Maria swallowed hard. I stared into her face. Her pupils were wide and scared, and her skin was slightly paler than usual. Sweat was beading on her forehead.
“You really don’t look well,” I chided. “Not getting enough sleep? Too many drugs?” I meant the last line as a jest; Maria was straighter than an arrow. She drank, but no more than the recommended amount. She was one of the most reliable, boring people I’d ever come across.
“I’m fine,” Maria replied carefully. She swallowed again.
“Come on,” I said. “You’re making me tense as fuck over here!”
“I have something important to tell you,” Maria said softly, repeating her words from the previous night. “And at first, I didn’t want to tell you…” her voice trailed off. “I wanted to give it some time, to let myself do some research…”
“Tell me,” I growled. “You’re driving me fucking crazy! Did you find any prints? Any evidence?” Maria didn’t answer. “
Anything?
”
Maria nodded. “We found something,” she said softly. “We found prints that were a match in the state police database.”
I narrowed my eyes. “That could be any one of the guys,” I said in dismay. It was true; at some point or another, every Renegade Saint had been arrested, even for something minor, like possession.
“It wasn’t one of your guys,” Maria said softly. She took a deep breath and looked deeply into my eyes. I saw there was no hint of humor, no laughter, nothing warm there. “It was someone else.”
I groaned. “Maria, you’re killing me,” I told her with a long sigh. “Who?”
Maria swallowed hard. She blinked at me and finally said, “The prints belong to Talia.”
I blinked at her. A wave of confusion passed over my head and I felt like I was spinning in the air, like I was going to fall flat on my ass and crash at any given moment.
“What?” I blinked. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s impossible,” I added before Maria could reply. “She’s been dead for years.”
Maria licked her lips. “I know,” she said in a quavering voice. “I…I thought that too. I had them double check, overnight, just to make sure they weren’t wrong.”
“There’s still a chance it could be someone else,” I argued. “Maybe someone with prints
similar
to Talia?”
Maria shook her head. “I know you’re not a scientist, Max, but the likelihood is very slim. You know that, don’t you?”
My vision was cloudy and blurred and I felt like I was going to pass out. I held my hand up and gazed hard at the floor. Talia. No. It couldn’t be, there was no way. Talia.
Talia’s dead, remember?
Anxiety was roaring like a wild animal in my chest, like a bear waking up from hibernation and remembering that it hasn’t eaten all winter. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, or like all of my blood was going to rush to my heart at once and kill me. I couldn’t believe it. This was the moment that I’d dreamed of so many times, that I’d wanted desperately. I’d missed Talia so much. But it never felt like this in the dream, it never felt like a betrayal. It never hurt, it never made me feel like I was about to collapse on the ground.
“She’s dead,” I said in a shaky voice. “It…it can’t be her.”
“Max, I’m sorry,” Maria said gently. She reached across the table and tried to take my elbow but I twisted violently away and stood up, shaking.
“Is this a fucking joke?” I twisted my face into a sneer and glared down at Maria. “Are you fucking with me? Are you mad about something?”
Maria shook her head. Her eyes were big and scared, and suddenly I knew with absolute certainty that she was telling the truth.
“Max, I don’t know
how
her prints would have gotten on that letter,” Maria said softly. “But they were definitely hers.”
Victoria
When Max was gone, I was feeling at a loss again. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how I was supposed to occupy myself with him gone for the day. Danny had shown up and he was perched in the living room, watching TV again like usual.
“Hey, Danny,” I said as casually as I could muster. “I think I’m going to the store.”
“Okay,” Danny replied. “Give me two minutes and I’ll be right with you.” He was glued to some reality show and I had to suppress a laugh. “This show is really good so far.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “That’s okay, you don’t have to come. I’ll just be a few minutes, why don’t you stay here and watch TV?”
“Ha, nice try,” Danny said. He got to his feet and clicked the television off. “Max said I’m not supposed to let you out of my sight.”
I sighed and stamped my foot on the ground, aware of how childish I was acting. “I don’t need a bodyguard,” I said. “I think I was just being hyperbolic when I told Max I wanted someone over here with me. I don’t have anything to be afraid of,” I said, trying to be convincing. “I’m totally fine, Danny.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “You’re not fine,” he said. “I mean, you are here,” he added. “But you’re not leaving, not without me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me sternly. “Sorry,” he added in the most non-apologetic voice that I could imagine. “Boss’s orders.”
I felt an irrational anger towards Max boiling up inside of me. Why did he even care, anyway? He didn’t love me, he only married me because of some dumb promise he made to my father! I was just some woman to him, some plaything to fuck and toy with until he’d had enough of me!
“Max doesn’t really care whether I get hurt or not,” I mumbled. “Come on, you know that.”
Danny frowned, marring his handsome features. “Max cares a lot,” he said, looking awkward. “Trust me, I know him pretty damn well.”
“So you know he doesn’t really love me?”
Danny turned away. “I’m not going to talk about him like this behind his back,” he added. “And if you try to go anywhere without me, you have to know that I’m going to stop you.”
“You’re being so melodramatic,” I said. “I just want to go to the store! Or a walk, even. It doesn’t have to be that far!”
Danny shook his head. “Sorry, no can do,” he said. He didn’t
sound
sorry. Not at all.
Pouting, I turned on my heel and stamped down the hallway to Max’s bedroom. The bed was still a mess from last night, and it smelled like our musk mixed together. I frowned as I pulled the sheets off the bed and crumpled them up before tossing them in the wash. Max didn’t love me. I knew that. He just wanted someone to take care of him, to cook and clean and make his house nice and neat while he went out doing…whatever he did that was too important to tell me about. The whole thing made me sick. It was no better than Silas trying to keep me locked down so I wouldn’t have any friends outside of him.
Just then, I remembered that I hadn’t talked to Kitty in a while.
“Hey, Danny!” I yelled into the hallway.
“What is it?” Danny came running, looking breathless. When he saw that I wasn’t hurt or in clear danger, relief flashed across his face. “What happened, Tori? What can I do?”
“I’m calling my friend Kitty and having her over for lunch,” I said. “You’re not going to flip over that, I assume?”
Danny looked sour. “No,” he said. “No one else, though. Just her, you got that?”
I knew it was diabolical, but part of me wanted to see if I could get Kitty to flirt with Danny. That way, maybe he’d leave me alone for a little while.
When I called her, she answered on the first ring. “Hello?”
“It’s me,” I said automatically.
“Who?”
I sighed. “Don’t be a bitch. It’s me, Tori.”
“God, I was beginning to think you were dead,” Kitty said sarcastically. “What’s up?”
“Want to come over?”
Her tone brightened. “Yeah,” Kitty replied. “I’m bored as shit. I’ll be there in five.”
“Wait,” I said quickly. “I’m living somewhere else now.” I gave her Max’s address and we hung up. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was dying to ask questions, but to her credit she hadn’t said anything untoward while we were on the phone. I rolled my eyes. That was Kitty’s style; she was definitely going to save the skepticism and snarky comments for when she was here in the flesh.
The doorbell rang almost minutes later. I laughed; she must have dashed out of her apartment and gotten in the car as soon as I called.
“Hi,” Kitty said, breathless, when I opened the door. “Oh my god, Tori,” she added. “You look great.”
Danny came up behind me; I could hear his footsteps on the wooden floor. “Who is this?”
“This is my friend Kitty,” I informed him. “She’s coming inside for a while.”
Danny narrowed his eyes but he didn’t say anything. When he’d retreated back to the living room, Kitty turned to me and gaped.
“He is
gorgeous
!” she gushed loudly. “How did you manage to get him as your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said lightly. “I was sort of hoping you’d take a liking to him, actually.”
Kitty rolled her eyes. “Nice try,” she said. “He’s cute, though. You know I don’t like bikers, Tori. What are you doing here? This is a nice house. Oh my god,” she continued, without pause. “Are you, like, on house arrest? Is that dude a cop? Is he, like, watching you?”
I laughed. Kitty got on my nerves sometimes, but I realized now just how much I’d missed my best friend. Aside from Max, I hadn’t talked to anyone in days and I was starting to feel really alone.
“We have some wine,” I told Kitty. “Come into the kitchen with me.”
An hour later, Kitty and I had gone through a bottle of the merlot that had been tucked in Max’s fridge. My face was red and it hurt from laughing so much. Kitty was catching me up on an old story about one of her boyfriends. She tended to date the weirdest people, and she was keeping me in stitches. I realized that I hadn’t said anything about Max, and now it didn’t feel right to bring up. I was keeping my hands tucked safely in my lap, twirling my wedding band on my left hand with the fingers of my right.
“So, what have you been up to?” Kitty looked at me sharply. “Anything exciting? Anything I should know about?”
I shook my head. “Definitely not,” I told her, lying through my teeth.
“Come on,” Kitty said. “What’s the deal with this house? This place is great, Tori. It looks absolutely incredible.”
“I know,” I said as I glanced around. Even though I didn’t share Max’s tastes in the hyper masculine decorations, I couldn’t deny that it was a stylish and comfortable place to live. It never would have been the kind of thing I assumed about Max, but now I was glad that he had such a nice place. It made him seem more stable, more like someone who would be a good husband.
“So, what happened? How did you wind up here?”
I blushed and glanced away. “It’s a long story,” I told her. “I mean, I had to do something to get away from Silas, and…well…this guy is an old friend of the family.”
“And he has someone
guarding
you?” Kitty lowered her voice to a hush. “I mean, what’s up with that? Is Silas really that dangerous?”
“You know he is,” I said, feeling wounded. Kitty had been on speed dial during the worst of Silas’s abuse. I couldn’t count the number of times where I’d come to her with a broken rib or a bloody and bruised eye. It hurt to think that she was being so dismissive of my claims. It was just like Max when he didn’t believe me that Silas would hurt me.
And then Silas showed up at the bar,
I thought.
Great
.
“Sorry,” Kitty said casually. “I just don’t understand how you went from living in your apartment to staying here.”
I shrugged. “I needed help,” I said, trying to match her tone in lightness. “And Max was willing to help me.” I thought back to his words from the night before. “He promised my father that he’d look out for me.” I left out the part about how I didn’t exactly know that. “Max is a good guy, he’s solid.”
“He’s in a motorcycle club, though,” Kitty replied with an air of disdain. “Where did he get all the money for this stuff? Is it stolen? Is everything okay?”
I bit my lip and sighed, feeling more than a trace of irritation with my best friend. I drained the last of the wine in my glass, went for more, and saw that the bottle was empty.
“I’m going to get us more,” I told Kitty. “You want?”
She held up her glass like I was a waiter. “Yeah, duh,” she said. When I moved, she saw the flash of my ring in the light. “Oh my god,” Kitty said, grabbing my hand and yanking me backwards. “No way, Tori. What is this?”
“It’s a ring,” I said lightly, pulling my hand free of her clutches. “What does it look like?”
Kitty rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so boring,” she snapped. “I mean, I can tell it’s a ring…but that finger…did you…?” She looked up at me, the kitchen light reflecting in her eyes.
I sighed dramatically. “Yes,” I said. “We got married.”
Kitty’s eyes bulged. “Oh my god, Tori, that’s like something from a movie! How come you didn’t tell me?” She narrowed her eyes and glared. “I wanted to be maid of honor!”
I shook my head and grabbed a fresh bottle of wine from the fridge. The alcohol was sloshing around in my stomach and making my skin warm, but in a pleasant way. It was the most relaxed that I’d felt in days, and I was happy that I was reconnecting with Kitty, even though she got on my nerves.
“It was a courthouse wedding,” I told her, plopping back into my seat with the grace of a seal. “You wouldn’t have liked it.” I closed my eyes and thought back to that day. It seemed like forever ago, even though it had only been a few days. “I barely even remember it, to be honest,” I added. “I mean, the ceremony. It was quick. It only took a few minutes.”
Kitty gaped. I thought for some reason she thought I was lying. “What about the…guy?” she asked softly. “I mean, do you really
act
married?” She smirked at me and I felt my whole face heat up with a hot blush. “What does he look like?”
I let out a sigh. “Do you remember Max Adams? He was in the MC with my dad.”
Kitty blushed. “I’m sorry, Tor,” she said. “I forgot your dad was in that club. I didn’t mean anything, you know, what I said earlier.”
“It’s fine,” I said, waving my hand in the air.
Kitty thought about what I’d asked. Finally, she nodded. “The name sounds familiar,” she said. “But I don’t think I’ve ever met that guy before. Does he go to any bars around here?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so,” I replied. “I think he’s mostly a loner.”
Kitty pursed her lips and stared. “So…you know this guy pretty well?”
I cringed. I didn’t, not really. Even though I’d basically grown up around Max, it wasn’t like we were friends or had any kind of history to speak of. Max and I were like two planets who had orbited very, very close to each other—we were always in sight, but never exactly touching. Maybe we would have touched more if Silas hadn’t kept me locked away.
Silas.
Just thinking about him threatened to ruin my mood. I swore that I’d keep my mind off Silas for the rest of the night.
“Kind of,” I lied. “I mean, I grew up around him. He’s been in the Renegade Saints since he turned eighteen. He was around my father a lot,” I added, like that would somehow make up for my lack of not knowing Max. “And my father always trusted him.”
Kitty was still staring. She blushed and shook her head in disbelief. “It’s just crazy that things worked out like this for you,” she said in a soft voice. “I hope you’re happy, Tori.”