Heart of the Outback (16 page)

“You’ll marry me tomorrow,” he said as though it was definitely decided. “As promised.”

Her smile faded as she inwardly looked at the difficulties ahead. “I may not be an easy person to live with,” she warned tentatively. “I’m not used to being dependent.”

“You won’t be dependent for long. I know you better than you think, Alida. You’ll be managing your own life again in very short time,” he said drily.

“I haven’t been doing that lately,” she reminded him.

“That’s because you were waiting. Waiting is worse than anything else. It renders everyone powerless, helpless…”

There was a sad, heavy note in his voice. Was he thinking of Kate, Alida wondered? Remembering how there had been no happy ending for all the waiting, remembering how helpless he had been to change what couldn’t be changed. Would Riordan River be haunted by Kate? Even more haunted because Alida also would be a handicapped wife?

Gareth sighed then struck a more cheerful, positive note. “We can move forward now.”

“If it doesn’t work out, Gareth—”

“We’ll work it out, Alida,” he insisted firmly. “You think I haven’t seen you’re as strong-minded as I am? We can work through anything together. I have no doubt of it.”

Hope swirled over her fears. To be always together with Gareth… But emotions could defeat the strongest minds and spirits. “What about Stacey?” she asked.

“You’re already good for Stacey. She talks to you and listens to you.”

“She’ll feel so guilty that I’m blind.”

Gareth ignored that claim. “It will be good for Andy, as well. Having both parents together is a definite plus.”

Alida sighed at his relentless persistence. “You won’t take no for an answer, will you?”

“No. I won’t.”

“I don’t know, Gareth,” she said in agonised uncertainty. “I don’t want you to ever feel stuck with me. Promise me if you ever begin to feel that…”

“Alida, trust me. I know what I’m doing. I know what I want. Let it be, Alida.”

Trust. It came with love, didn’t it? A deep abiding love. It was what she felt for Gareth. And she didn’t believe he would ever betray her trust if she gave it. He hadn’t betrayed Kate’s trust. He wanted to marry her, and if she was the woman he wanted more than any other woman…

“Stop worrying,” he commanded. “Tomorrow we start our life together. And I promise you, you will never be a burden to me.”

She wished she could see his eyes. He was asking for a blind act of faith in him. All the love in her heart urged her to put doubts aside, to believe what he told her, because this was the man her heart had chosen. It was right to trust him. It had to be.

“Yes, tomorrow,” she whispered, too choked with emotion to find more voice.

He heard the surrender in her barely audible murmur and kissed her again to seal the trust between them.

This is my wedding day and I don’t know what I look like, Alida thought as her mother arranged a coronet of flowers on her hair. She was sitting in front of her dressing table in her home at Claremont, but only her mother could see the reflection in the mirror. Tears pricked Alida’s eyes. She fought them back. She wouldn’t cry. Not for any reason.

Today was to be a happy day. The tears had all been shed yesterday. What couldn’t be changed had to be accepted. She was lucky, she told herself fiercely, terribly lucky to have the man she loved wanting her to be his wife.

“A really good guy,” as Jill had gruffly proclaimed last night. And she was lucky to have a friend like Jill, who had insisted she was not to worry about business matters, to leave everything in her capable hands. And Ivan fussing over her this morning, describing the way Jonathan was doing her hair, declaring that he had always wanted to visit an Outback station and she was to invite him whenever she wanted some truly interesting company. She also had all her family with her, giving their loving support on this fateful day.

“Is your headache gone?” her mother asked, concern threading her voice.

“Yes,” Alida lied, not wanting her mother worried by it.

The pain behind her eyes was dulled at the moment, but she doubted anything was going to banish it today, no matter how many pills she took. Tension had been building up in her ever since she had given in to Gareth’s persuasion yesterday. Then the stress of trying to think of business with Jill last night. She had gone to bed with an excruciating headache, hoping to lose it in sleep, but she had woken with it this morning. Perhaps it would go away when the deed was done and the marriage certificate signed, Alida thought fatalistically.

Her mother declared that the coronet of flowers made her look precisely as a bride should look, softly feminine and very beautiful. At least Alida could smell the flowers. Stephanotis, her mother said. Very popular for bridal bouquets. A sprinkling of lemon and white daisies as well. She had felt them. They would look right with her clothes.

She knew what she was wearing. The creamy lemon two-piece was one of her most feminine designs. The top had organza inserts beaded in daisy patterns, and the full circular skirt was the perfect complement to it. Not exactly a wedding dress, she thought ruefully, but the idea of a real wedding dress hadn’t felt right.

Besides, today she was really saying goodbye to her own world, as well as the world of fashion design. It seemed fitting to wear something reflecting what she had done with her life up until now. What the future held for her, apart from being with Gareth, she didn’t know. In an hour or two she would place her hand in his, and he would lead her to whatever would be. She desperately hoped she wasn’t doing the wrong thing in marrying him.

“What was Stacey feeling today?

“There,” her mother said with satisfaction, lifting her hands away from the flowers positioned in Alida’s hair.

Alida could hear the smile in her voice, so she smiled, too. The bride was supposed to smile at her wedding. Just as winners were supposed to smile at award presentations. She wondered if she would ever have met-Gareth again if he had not been there that night at the award presentations. It had been such a coincidence. If he had not turned up… But she wouldn’t think about that. So much had changed since then. But the biggest change would undoubtedly come when Gareth took her home with him to Riordan River.

“We’re all ready now,” her mother declared cheerfully. “Let me show you off to your father.”

Alida kept her smile in place as her mother led her out to the living room where the rest of her family were gathered waiting for her. They declared she looked beautiful, but there was a catch of emotion in their voices that was almost Alida’s undoing. She had to swallow hard to keep her composure. It wasn’t easy being blindly beautiful to her father and brothers.

Andy saved the moment, demanding that she bend down so he could smell the flowers in her hair. Then her mother announced that the car had arrived for them, and the ensuing activity was gratefully seized upon by everyone. Gareth had sent a white stretch limousine, which comfortably seated the six of them.

“I must say your husband-to-be does things in style, Alida,” one of her brothers commented appreciatively.

“He’s a good man,” her father approved.

“He’s very good with Andy, too,” her mother chimed in.

“Daddy says we’re flying to his home tomorrow,” Andy informed them all. “It’s real big like your place, Grandpa.”

The talk moved to station life, and Alida let her mind drift to memories of home. She wondered how long it would take before Riordan River felt like home to her, if it ever would, if she could carve out her own place there, something completely separate from what Kate Morgan had established. She wished she could forget about Gareth’s first marriage.

What was Gareth feeling? Was he really sure he would always want her? Was he having second thoughts about his decision to marry her? Alida determinedly pushed such ideas away. They sharpened the pain in her head. Gareth had asked her to trust him. She did. She had to.

They arrived at Deborah’s home at Peppermint Grove. Both Gareth and Stacey were on hand to greet them. Alida’s pulse raced with nervous tension. Her father helped her out of the limousine then passed her to Gareth, warm hands enfolding her cold ones.

She looked up automatically, fiercely wishing she could see his face and read what he was thinking. She was totally unaware of her own piercingly vulnerable expression.

“The sun is shining, just as it should for you,” Gareth said huskily. “You outshine the sun, Alida.”

Her heart turned over at the feeling in his voice. He still wanted her. Her trust in him was not misplaced.

“Alida, could you turn your head a bit and smile?” Stacey pleaded. “I want to take some photographs to show the girls at school. Put your arm around her, Dad.”

There was an excited lilt in Stacey’s voice. Gareth’s arm hugged Alida to his side. Her smile wobbled between relief and pleasure at the thought that Stacey might actually welcome her as a stepmother.

There were several clicks, then Stacey’s voice again, warm and admiring. “That’s fine! You look absolutely beautiful, Alida.”

“I’m glad you think so, Stacey,” Alida replied, hope surging through her other turbulent emotions.

She heard a couple of quick steps. A soft kiss was pressed onto her cheek. “I’m glad you’re marrying Dad. I hope you don’t mind getting me, too,” Stacey whispered.

Surprised and momentarily nonplussed, Alida reached out and managed to catch the girl’s arm. “I want… I hope we can be friends, if that’s all right.”

“That’s great by me,” Stacey assured her.

The sincere fervour in her voice sounded marvellous to Alida. Had Gareth been right about her being good for his daughter?

“Hey, Andy!” Stacey called out. “Come over here and get your photo taken with your mum and dad. Mr. Rose, will you take a shot of the four of us together?”

“Do my best,” he cheerfully agreed.

“Aunty Deb bought me a lemon dress so we’d look neat together,” Stacey informed Alida. “And I got my hair cut and styled. I took Mr Poletti’s advice and went to Jonathan Lee. All the girls at school are green with envy. Here, feel.”

She picked up Alida’s hand and lifted it to her hair, which was cut very short. Was this some act of penance, Alida worried? Was the girl putting on a bright act to make up for what had happened? Or was the haircut a statement that everything was going to be different from now on?

“I’m a thoroughly modern girl, aren’t I, Dad?”

“She’s added about three years to her age and looks far too pretty for her own good,” Gareth said drily.

Stacey giggled. It sounded like a happy giggle. As though she had put the past behind her and was beginning to enjoy the present. As for the future, it was looking more hopeful to Alida by the second. At least where Stacey was concerned.

Gareth guided her inside his sister’s house. Alida had the feeling of spaciousness around her. The carpet underfoot was thick and soft. Of course, it would be a very luxurious home, she surmised, and hoped Gareth would stop her from tripping over anything or knocking something precious over. She hugged his arm tightly, swept by a nervous sense of insecurity.

“Trust me to look after you, Alida,” he murmured. “I won’t let anything go wrong.”

The complete assurance in his voice settled some of the flutters in her stomach. Deborah greeted her in a subtle cloud of Anaïs Anaïs, then introduced her husband, Max, whose handshake was firm and friendly. He had a deep crisp voice. Alida imagined he would be incisive in boardroom meetings.

Their two sons were introduced, both bright and friendly boys. They took Andy off to show him some new toys. New cousins, Alida thought. And a new aunt and uncle. Andy’s world was widening in leaps and bounds. Alida could hear the breathless excitement in his voice.

Dear God! Please let his work out right, she prayed fervently. If I have to be blind, then help me make this marriage a success. Let us all be happy together.

Max poured a round of champagne for the adults. Alida only took a few token sips from her glass, wary of making her headache worse.

The celebrant arrived. Deborah ushered them into a room that was heavily scented with roses. Alida heard Stacey’s camera click several times as they took their positions for the ceremony.

This is it, she thought, the moment I’ve yearned for and thought would never be mine, to be married to the man I want with me for the rest of my life. I’ll be a good wife to him, she silently vowed. I’ll make him glad he chose to marry me, even though I am blind. Kate could not have loved him more than I will. And I won’t be a burden. I’ll learn not to be. I’ll learn so fast, he’ll hardly know I’m blind at all.

She was barely aware of what the celebrant said as he read out the marriage service. He was a stranger, performing a job he was being paid to do. It meant nothing special to him. The real ceremony was in her heart and soul.

She spoke the words when she was directed to. She heard Gareth speak them, too, enunciating the promises in a firm strong voice, and she wondered what he felt in his heart and soul. They were binding words, but they meant little if he did not feel the same bond she felt. How long did passionate desire last?

Gareth took her left hand and slid the symbol of marriage onto her finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

His voice was still firm and strong and purposeful. No retreat from Gareth Morgan. Not the slightest wavering. He had made his decision. This was his commitment. Now for the follow-through.

“You may kiss the bride.”

Gareth drew her into a gentle embrace. Alida sensed the tight restraint in him as he kissed her with tenderness. She knew instinctively that if others had not been watching he would have kissed her very differently. She did not need to see him to feel his desire reaching out, wanting to envelop her. Excitement tingled along her nerves at the brushing of his body against hers.

Their family surrounded them, breaking up any privacy with hugging, shaking hands, kissing, offering congratulations and best wishes for future happiness together. An atmosphere of celebratory pleasure ^swirled around Alida. She felt welcomed into Gareth’s family and proudly loved by her own. Somehow her blindness didn’t seem to matter so much.