Heart Ripper - Coffin Nails MC (gay biker M/M romance) (Sex & Mayhem Book 9) (24 page)

Three weeks later, Raja still hadn’t heard back
from David. After two days, he was done sending messages that wouldn’t even be
read and moved on, but the way David had looked at him from the door back at
Hunter’s house was still haunting him. Like a shard of glass stuck in Raja’s
heart, it let him live a normal life but irritated his flesh every single day,
not letting him forget what he’d done.

As time passed, Raja slowly got used to the fact
that Hunter would never consider him a friend again, and David would think of
his first sexual experiences as a traumatic mistake, just as Raja remembered
some of his own to be. A part of Raja believed that maybe it was for the
better. David had been infatuated with him, up to the point of declaring his
misplaced love to a man who fucked his way through life and felt just fine
about it. Raja wasn’t looking for a relationship. Maybe he would once he was too
old to find hookups as easily as he did now, but he didn’t want to be tied down
yet. That wasn’t what he was about, and at some point he would have had to tell
David that it was normal for guys to think they were in love with the first guy
they fucked. It was no big deal. They would have moved on anyway.

As he sat in the waiting armchair at Lucky’s
barber shop, a new message popped up on his phone. Grindr.

[
Wanna fuck tonight?
] came with a chest and
dick shot attached. Raja browsed through a few more pictures of the user, and
the guy was definitely attractive enough to be worthy of Raja’s attention. If
it weren’t for the fact that Raja didn’t really feel like going out, he might
have answered. An evening with Netflix and food sounded much more appealing
than faking interest in what some rando had to say as a prelude to sex.

Lucky was busy chatting to the customer he was
working on, a guy who, judging by his tattoos, had spent a long time in prison,
yet his thick white beard was beginning to look classy under Lucky’s
ministrations.

The place was small, only had space for two
customers at a time, but the size gave it a cozy feel. Black and white tiles,
black leather upholstery on the armchairs, the smell of fresh coffee, and a
hint of cologne in the air. That was the kind of environment Raja found
relaxing.

Despite the hands-off policy, Raja couldn’t help
but let his gaze settle on Lucky’s pert ass in a pair of skinny jeans. An ass
he wouldn’t mind grabbing...

It hit him that he hadn’t gotten any since the
disastrous night when he popped David’s anal cherry. And David’s ass was
fine
.
Soft to the touch but tight and shaped as if it had been lovingly carved by the
world’s greatest sculptor. There was something about those moments they’d spent
in the sweaty sheets that just wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he wished
it to be out of his mind. David had trusted Raja and completely opened up to
him, only to be burned so badly. It had felt good to touch him and know he’d
listen to what Raja had to say. Raja wanted to listen to David’s soft voice and
watch him smile just as much.

David was so young. He could change so much within
the year that maybe Raja wouldn’t even recognize him when they finally met by
chance. But with things as they were, David would grow into a man away from
Raja’s eyes. Raja drew in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes. Who was he even
kidding? He’d enjoy seeing David so much more than fucking a random guy, who
was interchangeable with at least 50 percent of people on Grindr.

Sweat beaded on Raja’s back, and the muscles in
his arms burned until he unclenched his fingers from around his phone. He
couldn’t really be missing David, could he?

“There we go,” Lucky said with a big smile and
brushed hairs off the dude before letting him out of the seat. “Good as new.”

“Looks good, kid. Thanks. I don’t wanna look like
fuckin’ Santa when I go meet my girl.”

The customer exchanged a few more words with Lucky
and went on his way, leaving Raja alone with the bubbly gay barber, who also
happened to be the partner of the most dangerous man around. It was strange.
With Tooth being hot as he was, he didn’t have to settle on just one guy, and
while Lucky was handsome and pleasant, what was it that made him so special
that Tooth chose to give up on other guys for him?

Lucky turned the armchair toward Raja in
invitation. “I was hoping you’d come at some point. You want something in
particular?”

Raja smiled and sat in the barbering chair. He
wondered if Lucky knew what David had been up to lately. “A bit of maintenance,
really. My hair and beard are getting a bit too long.”

“Cool.” Lucky put the black cape over Raja and
looked at him in the mirror. “I could do a cut. No problem. Beard too? It’s so
nice and thick, I bet you get all the guys swooning over you.”

Raja smirked and held Lucky’s gaze in the mirror.
He knew he needed to flirt with this one if he wanted to get something out of
him. “I can’t say they aren’t. You must know a lot about this.”

“Yep, but no bitch dares go near my Tooth.” Lucky
beamed at Raja in the mirror before nudging his head toward the sink.

Raja laughed. “I know. He’s hot stuff, isn’t he?”

“Hell yes he is. You got a date that you’re
getting a brush-up?”

Raja clenched his eyes, happy that Lucky couldn’t
see him scowl. “Not really. I have too much work for that now.”

“Whoa! The stud of Toledo has too much work for
dates? Just a hookup then?” Lucky snorted, but there was no denying his fingers
did feel nice as Lucky worked the shampoo into Raja’s scalp.

“You seem to know a lot about my dating life,”
said Raja, relaxing to the slick massage. “And they are all hookups. I’m not
the dating type.”

“Oh, you know, people talk. It’s not a big deal.
Everyone should do their own thing, that’s what I always say. The flowers and
candy deal isn’t for everybody.”

“I guess,” said Raja. “Tooth doesn’t seem like the
type either.”

There was a short silence, so he must have caught
Lucky off-guard. “Tooth? We’re getting married soon-ish.”

“I know. It’s just that he’s such a serious man.
Can’t imagine him running around with a bunch of roses.”

“No need to. He has his own ways of making me
happy. So who’s the hot hookup tonight?”

Raja smirked. So this was a no-go topic. “There’s
no one. I really have too much on my mind right now. You know how it is
sometimes.”

The massage became almost sensual, and it had a
shiver going down Raja’s spine. He needed to get laid soon. “Yeah, I can
imagine. Club prez always has stuff to do. Tooth is always busy too, though we
always find some time to chill out. You shouldn’t put it off or your balls will
go blue.” Lucky laughed.

Raja didn’t know how to answer that. “Any
suggestions other than Grindr?” he asked in the end, wondering if he could
somehow turn this conversation to David. As Asty’s brother, Lucky undoubtedly
knew what was going on with him. It could also mean that Lucky knew about the
bet and was out to cut Raja’s throat. That would have been an undignified end
for a Coffin Nails club president.

“Oh, yeah! I know. What about Hunter’s brother,
David? He came out lately. I knew it from the second I saw him. He’s cute. I
bet he’s also pretty cock-starved after his Catholic school. You think he’s
into spanking? Apparently it’s a thing after church school.”

Emotion hit Raja at once, and it took him a few
seconds to speak up again. “I don’t think I’m the type of guy he’d want. After
Catholic school? He’s probably still untouched.”

Not anymore
, Raja’s brain reminded him.

“Hard to say what he’d want. Hunter sure didn’t
know. It was so funny. He came here the other day, and he was
so
awkward
asking me if I knew any guys David could potentially date. I made him work for
it. I suppose a guy like David needs all the help he can get.”

Raja frowned, and his first instinct was to lash
out. What kind of dig at David was this? Lucky was done with the washing, and
he let Raja sit back in the chair while he dried his hair with a towel. “I’ve
met him. He’s good-looking. I’d say he should be fine. Does Hunter think
there’s something wrong with him?”

Lucky sighed. “Come on, he’s so shy. It’d be like
enticing a snail out of its shell. Hunter said he wanted David to meet someone
upbeat so he’d stop moping around.”

Raja’s breath caught, but he kept his cool and
asked, “And did you find someone?”

Lucky gave Raja a bright smile. “Hell yeah I did.
I know this barista who works not far from the Flower Crown, and he’s seen
David around. I talked to him, and he was up for a date.”

Raja forced himself to smile, even though his
stomach clenched with discomfort. “What kind of guy is he?” asked Raja,
glancing at the narrow band of David’s no-longer valid purity ring on his
pinky.

“He’s a fun guy. Up for sex but not sleazy. Might
get David out of his rut. The brain goes weird if you don’t get off once in a
while, right?”

“Right,” said Raja, but his face was flushing.
Up
for sex
. What did that even mean? David didn’t need a charity fuck from
some random pathetic barista. “So they haven’t been on that date yet?”

“Nah, but they’re going tonight. I told Hunter to
give David condoms just in case. You should have seen the look on his face! He
went so red!” Lucky laughed out loud as he combed through Raja’s hair.

Raja’s heart started rushing, and he licked his
lips, squeezing his hands on the armrests to keep himself steady. This was
nuts. Why would David go on a date, a mere three weeks after the shitty
misunderstanding? It was fucking dismissive, and yes, a bit hurtful. As if
David was already done with whatever the two of them had and moved on. No
matter what he’d declared to Raja in the throes of the moment, it had all been
an infatuation after all.

“I hope they chose a romantic venue. David seems
to be the type to like this kind of thing.”

“I think it’s some restaurant around where they
both work. Pretty boring if you ask me, but whatever. I don’t envy Tommy if
they do end up fucking though. First timers can be a hassle.”

Raja gritted his teeth. “I don’t know. I think
they’re perfectly fine if they want to learn,” he said in the end.

“I guess everyone has to start somewhere. And some
people, like me, just have a natural flair for it, you know?” Lucky winked at
Raja.

Raja laughed, even though all he wanted was to
know more about David’s date. “Tooth’s a lucky man. Pun not intended.”

“I used to think I’d never settle down with one
guy.” Lucky smiled, but it was different this time. A strange moment of
tenderness on his face, unlike his regular bouncy attitude. “But it all changed
when it came to Tooth.”

Raja swallowed, genuinely intrigued by the glow
that was suddenly radiating off Lucky. Was this how it felt to be in love? He
didn’t remember. “I’ve never felt that.”

Lucky patted his shoulders before reaching for the
scissors. “Everyone’s different. Nothing wrong with fucking around. Gotta live
a little, right?”

“Right. I wonder if David gets some tonight. What
did you say the restaurant was called?” asked Raja casually, intent on sucking
out as much information as he could.

Lucky frowned and looked up for a moment. “Don’t
remember. Some Italian place.”

Raja was already boiling on the inside. “And
probably after work...”

Lucky snorted and started making the first cuts.
“Duh. It’s not like they’re gonna fuck at the Flower Crown. Romantic though.
Sex on a bed of tulips.”

Raja had fucked David in the flower shop, and it
had been glorious. The memory brought a smile to his lips. “I hope they don’t
choose roses. Your friend might not be happy if he gets his dick pierced by
one.”

“Unless he’s into that.”

The conversation continued in a lighter tone, but
the vast majority of Raja’s brain was focused on what he’d do after the visit
to Lucky’s. David wouldn’t be done with work for another two hours, which gave
Raja enough time to investigate the area around the Flower Crown and identify
all the Italian places. He needed to see this guy Lucky set up David with, but
most of all, he needed to see if David really was fine.

He kind of hoped he was. And yet he also hoped
David wasn’t over him yet.

David didn’t want to be here. Not that there was
anything wrong with the smell of fresh pizza or the old photos of a Calabrian
village on the wall. His date wasn’t bad-looking either.

Tommy was smiley, friendly, with some scruff on
his chin, pretty green eyes, and a body that suggested he worked out. David had
seen him around every now and then, so they had an easy starting topic of the
Flower Crown, and the coffee shop Tommy worked at - Smokey Bean.

The problem was that David wasn’t ready to date
yet. He couldn’t picture himself kissing Tommy. After three weeks of misery, he
was beginning to worry that there was something permanently broken in him, and
he would never be able to feel love for anyone again.

“Is everything okay?” asked Tommy, tilting his
head and looking at David from across the table. It was almost like Asty
inquiring whether David had even been listening to her for the past few
minutes.

David smiled quickly. “Sure, I can never decide
between breadsticks and garlic balls.”
Yes, David. Talk about garlic on a
date. Great idea
.

Tommy smirked and leaned back into the plush
backrest of their booth. The place was perfect for dates, as the dividers were
quite tall, ensuring any potential couple enough privacy to look each other in
the eyes without feeling watched by everyone else. That was precisely the
reason David
didn’t
want to be here with Tommy, but it seemed that his
date found David’s absent-mindedness somewhat charming, since he still remained
in his seat after David had gotten stuck in his own head several times already.
That, or he really liked Italian cuisine.

“I like your piercing. It makes you look very
edgy, especially since your look is so mellow overall,” said Tommy, reaching
out over the table.

David backed away slightly, but Tommy still nudged
his new septum ring with the tip of his finger. It wasn’t big, didn’t look as
aggressive as Asty’s piercings, but he liked it a lot. Every time he glanced in
the mirror, he was reminded of the changes in his life.

He got the piercing just two days after the fiasco
with Raja. Asty had sat him down for a chat when he couldn’t suppress his own
sobbing anymore, and David wouldn’t exactly say she talked him into the
piercing, but they talked about taking life into one’s own hands, bodily
autonomy, and one thing led to another.

The piercing did make him feel better. Like he
really had left the old David behind and was showing the world that he wasn’t
just a sweet Catholic boy. He wasn’t even sure if he was Catholic anymore.
Definitely Christian, but Catholic? He didn’t want to step foot in that church
again, and he definitely didn’t want to stay celibate forever, just because he
was gay.

“I got a new haircut today too. Lucky did it for
me.” David pointed to the tiny knot at the back of his head. The sides were cut
short, but the strands that were longer, Lucky tidied up in a way so David
could tie them. It was different from the hairstyles David usually wore, but he
liked it. Change was good, and hair would grow back eventually, even if he got
bored with the new style. Same went for the piercing. He could always change
his mind in the future, so why not experiment?

It was a new realization for him, one that he’d
never come to if he’d stayed at home and spent all his time with his church
friends. For so many years he’d thought people like Hunter and Asty were weird
and looked outrageous just to get attention, but now that he lived with them,
he understood that their look—Hunter’s extremely long hair, Asty’s piercings
and extravagant wardrobe—had nothing to do with other people and everything to
do with them. Despite Hunter being in a motorcycle club, their lives were
extremely normal, and currently filled with taking care of little Bell and
mundane household chores. It was a refreshing perspective to have after a life
of strict rules.

Tommy sipped his wine and shook his head
apologetically when the waitress approached them. He knew David still wasn’t
ready to order. “Yeah, I just wanted to say... that you changed throughout the
summer quite a lot.”

David nodded. “It’s been… tumultuous. I only came
out a few weeks ago. I’m still learning to navigate this thing.” And Hunter
pushing him out on a date was the last thing he was ready for.

Tommy nodded. “I bet you feel you have a lot to
catch up on. I know I had, way back when I came out. You’ll now want to have
all the fun and all the guys,” he said, browsing through the menu.

“I think I’m ready to order.” What was David even
doing here? He was wasting Tommy’s time. He wasn’t ready for this. “I want to
take things slow, not jump in headfirst.”
Too late for that, David.

Tommy’s eyebrows rose slightly, but he kept the
smile on his face. “Sure, absolutely. Everyone moves at a different pace.”

God, this date was going to be
both
stressful and boring. “I hope that’s okay. I don’t know what Lucky told you…”

Tommy waved his hand. “He only had good things to
say about you.”

Of course, more truisms. David had been warned
that most dates weren’t explosions of lust and mental connection, but after
experiencing the heat of Raja’s arms and the excitement of having a man like
him by his side, would anyone be able to measure up to David’s expectations? He
was glad the waitress saved him in time, giving him those few precious seconds
to come up with a new topic. As a barista, would Tommy be excited to talk about
coffee or resent it?

“Have you been working at the Smokey for a long
time?”
David, get a grip. You can do better.
He smiled. “Do you like it
there?”

Tommy opened his mouth, but then his eyes strayed
away from David, who too sensed a presence right next to him. Then came a scent
that was so familiar it immediately scrambled his brain, and he shifted farther
along the sofa that encircled the table within the booth, away from the faded
blue jeans and the big belt buckle depicting a grenade.

He looked up at Raja, and all at once, his heart
skipped a beat, and all blood drained from his face. What was the meaning of
this?

Tommy blinked a few times. “Um… hello,” he said
with a frown, and it was good that he spoke, because David couldn’t choke out a
word.

Raja looked especially dashing, with the far ends
of his moustache artistically twirled, and his hair shining as if he’d just come
out of a biker-themed photoshoot for
GQ
. He grinned, and his white teeth
glimmered in the soft light of the single lamp above the table. “Would you take
a hike?” he asked Tommy, patting his fingers against the tabletop. “I’ve got something
to discuss with David.”

Tommy’s lips parted. “I… no. What the hell?”

David pushed a few inches farther behind the
table. “What are you doing here? This is
so
rude.”

Raja glanced at Tommy, and for a few seconds, they
both froze, as if communicating telepathically, until Raja smirked and looked
back at David. “I’ve slept with him, and believe me, you two will not be
compatible.”

Tommy clenched his hands into fists. “Shut it.
That was…
different
.”

David stared between them, dumbstruck. Had Raja
fucked every single gay guy in town? “What?” His heart started pounding like
crazy at the thought of Raja in bed with someone else. “You don’t know what’s
compatible with me,” he muttered, getting flustered already. Raja knew. He knew
everything there was to know about compatibility.

Raja winked at him and glanced at Tommy again, as
if completely ignoring the tension he was creating in their peaceful, boring
booth. “Look, Brad...”

“Tom,” hissed Tommy through clenched teeth.

“Tom, David here is mine, but lately he’s been a
brat who doesn’t answer any of my fucking messages. He is not gonna sleep with
you, so don’t waste your time here.”

David slouched, miserable and elated all at once.
“I’m sorry, Tommy, maybe it’s better if—”

“I’ll go. You figure out whatever this fuckery is,
and call me.” Tommy squinted at Raja once more, and got up without waiting a
second longer.

Raja ignored him as he stormed off, and just sat
down in the vacated spot across from David. He picked up the wine Tommy had
been drinking just now and chugged it in one gulp. David felt as if his body
got somehow hot-glued to the seat, and was already burning from the way Raja’s
gaze caressed his body. It was not comparable with Tommy’s lukewarm
compliments. Nothing compared to the burning passion within Raja.

“Nice T-shirt.”

David looked down in shame, his face flooded by
heat. He shouldn’t have worn Raja’s old T-shirt to a date. Now Raja would
assume David wasn’t over him, and sadly, he’d be right. He wore it all the
time, just to feel some connection with Raja even though they weren’t together
anymore.

“I— yeah, everything else was in the laundry,” he
mumbled.

“I don’t believe you for a second. I bet you
looked up ‘Terror Sisters’ and became a big fan,” said Raja leaning forward
with his elbows on the table.

David did look up ‘Terror Sisters’. He wasn’t a
fan. “It’s too much screaming. I mean… it doesn’t matter. What do you want?”
But the tiny voice at the back of David’s head, the one that had no
self-control and wanted to jump Raja’s bones, screamed,
he said ‘mine’
!

Raja’s mouth twisted into a wide, fake-looking
smile, which dropped as suddenly as it appeared. “I wanna know what’s up with
that piercing. I don’t hear from you for close to a month, and I can see you’re
changing.”

David leaned back, trying to pretend he wasn’t
caged in with a rabid lion. “Oh, this? No big deal. I’ve been wanting one for a
while. Guess that’s what happens. People move on, even if you hurt them.”

“You didn’t move on,” said Raja coolly, moving his
hand over the edge of the table, as if he was close to tipping the whole thing
over.

“Oh, yeah? I was here on a date. Where’s your
date?” David’s heart was racing so fast he could hear the pounding in his ears.
Raja still wanted him. Even though he’d won his stupid bet, even though he’d
already had sex with David, he was still after him.

Raja reached out over the table. “He’s sitting
right in front of me. And he’s been a shitty conversationalist lately.”

David pouted and pushed his back into the plush
behind him. “What’s there to talk about? You got what you wanted.” He glanced
at Raja’s hand, and his heart skipped a beat when he noticed the purity ring on
Raja’s pinky.

“Really?” asked Raja, aggressively leaning
forward. “What is it that I want, little boy? You think you’re so smart now
that you can somehow read my mind?”

David’s stomach clenched, his palms got sweaty,
yet he didn’t want to run. He wanted to make out with Raja for hours, and feel
Raja’s rough hands on his skin. “You wanted to f-fuck me.” There it was. The
worst moment to stumble over the f-word.

Raja sucked in his bottom lip and shifted, moving
along the sofa that enveloped their table, until he was right next to David,
warming him with his body heat even without touching. David’s skin broke out in
goose bumps, and he was glad to see the waitress approaching with the food he
and Tommy had ordered, but her presence didn’t make Raja back away. On the
contrary, he pushed even closer to David and put his warm lips against David’s
ear, tickling him with the beard.

“I still wanna fuck you. I want your tight, juicy
ass clenching around my dick as I pound it right here, in the restrooms.”

David glanced back at him, frozen in disbelief.
Was it hot?
Yes
. Did he miss Raja talking dirty to him?
Yes
. Did
he miss sex?
Yes
. Did he miss seeing Raja naked?
Yes
. Had he lost
all self-respect? ...
No
.

“You’re unbelievable!” David tried pulling away,
but Raja grabbed his arm and held him right where he was. “You appear out of
nowhere, after pulling that shitty stunt on me, and you think I’m going to fall
for that again? Like when you appeared at my work after over a month of not
speaking to me?” David’s cheeks were burning as he looked into Raja’s eyes.
“Yes, I am horny for you. I have eyes and a dick, but I’m not stupid. Are you
out of hookups, or something, that you chose to approach me?”

The waitress left them without a word, but Raja
didn’t even seem to have noticed her, completely focused on David. “What stunt?
It’s you who refused to talk to me. I’ve tried, and your new mom chased me away
while you hid inside.”

That stung. “You’ve admitted you made a bet over
me with your friend, with no consideration for my feelings. You were the first
person I ever talked so honestly with. Turns out you weren’t who I fell in love
with, that it was all a game to you.” David had to take a big gulp of air,
embarrassed that he admitted to his feelings yet again.

Raja leaned back and loosened his hold on David.
“If you’re in love with me, you shouldn’t be out with a manwhore like Br- Tom,”
he muttered, looking away.

David sneered at him, fighting the tears that were
trying to escape his eyes. “
He’s
the manwhore? What about you? And give
me back that ring. You don’t deserve it!” David grabbed Raja’s hand, but it
immediately squeezed into a fist.

Raja took a sharp breath. “Too bad you’ve already
given it to me. It’s not coming back to you.”

David let go with a desperate hiss. When he’d
given it to Raja, he felt they had a connection that was special enough to risk
his family for. But as angry as David was, even now he felt a warmth inside
knowing that Raja came back like a boomerang, trying to get him back. Even if
his attempts were sloppy at best.

“Listen, I still have feelings for you.” He took a
deep breath and looked into Raja’s eyes. “I know you’re more than this sexy,
cocky facade. If you want me back, get real with me. Take your time, think
about it.” David slid to the edge of the seat and pulled out enough money to
pay for the pizza, but Raja grabbed his hand and closed it on the money,
pushing it back toward David’s wallet. He looked up with his face oddly
expressionless, but in his eyes, there was a raging storm, with lightning ready
to strike David’s heart yet again.