She was still brooding when Gerry came over and sat down. ‘I’ve put you in your old room, love.’ He pushed the key across the table.
‘Thanks, Gerry.’ Alex kept her eyes on her pint.
‘Anything you want to talk about? I’m a good listener, I get plenty of practice, you know.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘I don’t think talking will help. It’s too late for that.’
Gerry patted her hand. ‘You know where I am if you change your mind, love.’
Alex nodded her thanks. As an afterthought, she turned her phone off. If Johnny did decide he wanted to try to sort things out, he could damn well do it face to face.
***
At about half past eight, the pub door opened and in strolled Colin, Marilyn, Paul, Siobhan and Christabel.
‘Hey, Alex. How’re you doing?’ Colin greeted her warmly while Paul went to the bar to get the round in. Everyone piled round the table and Paul and Gerry ferried drinks over. ‘We missed you, so we came to find you,’ Colin continued. ‘Thought since you’d left the party, we’d bring it here and have a trial run for tomorrow night.’
Alex smiled. She was pleased to see them and touched that they cared, but the one person she really wanted to see wasn’t there.
Have they cleared out simply to give Johnny privacy?
she wondered.
‘Hey, let’s have some music,’ suggested Siobhan. Colin took the hint and moved to the piano, proceeding to bang out a series of cheesy old songs that people could sing along to. The party mood was infectious and Alex cheered up despite herself.
A little later, she was coming back from the Ladies when Christabel intercepted her and drew her to one side.
‘How’re you doing?’ she asked.
Alex shrugged. ‘Okay, considering I’ve just lost my bloke and my job in one fell swoop.’
Christabel squeezed her arm. ‘You haven’t. It wasn’t how it might have looked, I promise you.’
‘So where is he, then? Tucked up with Candy, no doubt, while we’re all out of the way here.’
‘No, he isn’t. It’s not like that.’
‘So has he sent her packing?’
‘Not exactly.’
‘Well then.’ Alex had hoped Christabel would tell her that Johnny had thrown Candy out on her ear.
‘Alex, it’s more complicated than that.’
‘It always is with Johnny, isn’t it?’ Chrissie opened her mouth to speak. Alex put her hand up to silence her and moved to walk away, not prepared to listen to second-hand excuses. ‘I don’t want to hear it, Chrissie, and I don’t want to argue, but I know what I saw. I saw Johnny kissing that woman and then they disappeared into the house. There really isn’t anything else to know.’ She walked back to the others and Paul shoved up to make room for her.
‘I saw you talking to Chrissie. Are you coming back with us tonight?’
Alex shook her head. ‘Do you remember when you found out Johnny and I had got together?’ Paul nodded. ‘Colin said it wouldn’t be the first time Johnny had got off with someone so they’d write nice things about him. What did he mean by that?’
‘What? Nothing, he was just winding you up.’ Paul shifted in his seat, put his arm round Alex’s shoulders. ‘Come on back with us.’
‘No, nothing’s changed.’
‘Didn’t Chrissie tell you?
‘Tell me what?’
‘That there’s nothing to worry about, that it’s all okay.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘God, you lot really are unbelievable. I saw him and that woman for myself, you were there, Paul, but you still insist that there’s nothing wrong. Are you still playing by Heartbreaker tour rules? You know, the one that says you can sleep with somebody else, but it doesn’t count as being unfaithful?’
‘That’s not fair,’ said Paul. ‘It’s not like that, Alex. It never was, for me.’
‘Shit, I’m sorry.’ She ran her hand through her hair, feeling weary. ‘But where is he? If he wants to sort things out, he should be here.’ She stood up. ‘I’m going to bed, I’m tired. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, maybe. I’ll be over for my stuff at some point.’ She squeezed Paul’s hand. ‘I really am sorry.’
He nodded. ‘Take care, kid, sleep well.’
Chapter 58
Next morning, Alex got up early and headed off to Johnny’s house to pick up her gear. She went in through the kitchen door and was surprised to find Johnny sitting at the table, a mug of coffee in front of him. Alex gave a guilty start when he spotted her. Johnny stood up and got a mug, poured her a cup of coffee. He nodded to the chair opposite him and she hesitated, but then went and sat in it. Close up, she could see how weary Johnny looked. He was wearing the same shirt as the day before and looked as if he hadn’t slept. His eyes were red-rimmed and he was unshaven.
‘You look like shit,’ she said.
‘Thanks. I feel it. Hell of a day, yesterday, and to top it all, my woman walked out on me. No clues, just upped and left.’ His face was set. ‘What’s going on, Alex?’
‘You need to ask?’
‘I need to ask.’
‘You … Candy … I saw you, Johnny. I’m not an idiot,’ she snapped, sharper with him than she’d intended.
‘What did you see?’
‘You and Candy kissing, then you disappeared.’ She shot him a look. ‘I tried to find the two of you and I couldn’t. Where did you take her? What were you doing? As if I need to ask.’
‘Jesus Christ.’ He threw his hands up, angry despite his obvious tiredness. ‘You’re assuming an awful lot, aren’t you? It’s great to know how much you trust me.’ He slapped the tabletop with the flat of his hand, making the mugs jump. ’Tell me, what have I ever done to you to make you believe I’d behave like that now?’
Alex shifted in her seat, dropped her eyes. Johnny went on. ‘Since that first day we met, you remember? The day Sonia left? The day we sat and talked about music and found out how much we had in common? There has only been you for me. I don’t want anyone else.’ He stood up, too angry to sit still. ‘Is this really what you think of me?’
‘It’s not what I want to think of you, but I saw you with her. I can’t change that.’
He rounded on her. ‘So you say. But what did you see? Tell me that.’
‘I saw her asking you to get back with her,’ she said hotly.
‘Then you also saw me turn her down.’
‘I saw you kiss her, then you took her into the house.’ Alex was on her feet as well, angry again as she remembered seeing Johnny and Candy together. Johnny put his hands to his head in frustration.
‘No. No, you didn’t, Alex. You saw Candy kiss me. That’s different. I took her inside to talk because I didn’t want you to turn up and see her there.’
‘I’m sure you didn’t. Well tough luck, Johnny, because I did see.’ Alex practically shouted this at him.
‘You don’t even want to hear what happened, do you? You’ve set yourself up as judge, jury and executioner and you’ve decided that I’m guilty as charged.’ He paced the floor. ‘If only you knew. You couldn’t be more wrong.’ He spat the words out at her.
‘Why don’t you tell me, then? Because I’d really like to know.’
Johnny stared at her. ‘It’s a bit late for that, isn’t it? Since you evidently know it all already.’ He walked out, heading in the direction of the river.
Alex sat down, the fight gone out of her. She rubbed her eyes, tired and sick at heart. She had to find out what had happened. She gave Johnny a head start hoping that it would give him a chance to walk off at least some of his temper, and then set off after him, striding through the dew-soaked grass. She found him with his shoulder to the trunk of the tree they had picnicked under just a few weeks earlier. It seemed like a long time ago now.
If Johnny heard her approach, he didn’t acknowledge it; he kept his back to her. Alex stood a little way behind him, her hands by her sides. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to hold him, but didn’t know how he would react. And she still wanted the full story about Candy.
Someone had to make the first move, so she stepped forward and put her arms round his waist, rested her head on his shoulders. ‘Johnny, I’m sorry. Let’s talk. Properly, I mean. Please?’ She released him and he turned to face her.
‘I don’t want to fight. Come here.’ He wrapped his arms around her and they held each other, the worn cotton of his shirt soft against Alex’s skin. Johnny kissed the top of her head, rested his cheek on her hair as he spoke. ‘Candy and I went in through the front door and then out the back, through the kitchen. I was looking for Chrissie. She and Candy got on reasonably well; they weren’t at war, anyway. I figured she could help me sort things out.’ He paused, gathering his thoughts. ‘Candy’s in trouble, Alex. She owes a lot of money to her dealer and she thought the easiest way to get it was to get back with me. She wasn’t using when I knew her. Someone else got her into this. When she realised there was no way I was going to have her back, she walked off. I thought she’d left, but she went into the studio and took some pills or something; I don’t know what. A little later I saw that her car was still out front and went looking for her. When I found her, she was unconscious.’
Johnny adjusted his position, getting more comfortable against the tree trunk. Alex moved so that she could see his face as he spoke. ‘I rang an ambulance as soon as I found her, but I thought it would be easier to handle things without a crowd. Paul had told me by then where you’d gone, so I got the others to go and find you and see that you were okay. I went to hospital with Candy to check that she would be all right.’ He ran a hand over his face, stubble rasping against his palm. ‘I asked Christabel to explain to you what had happened and to bring you back with them if she could.’
‘I didn’t really give her much of a chance.’
He nodded. ‘I figured as much when I got back and you weren’t here.’
‘What happens with Candy now?’
‘She’ll be looked after medically and I’ve sorted out her financial problems. When she’s back on her feet, she’s on her own.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Christ, I thought my days of paying off dealers were behind me.’
‘I’m sorry, Johnny. I just thought …’
‘Yeah, I know. Johnny Burns up to his old tricks.’ He sounded bitter and tired. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you. I can’t believe you don’t know that.’
‘Can we put this behind us? Please?’
‘Suits me. But right now, I need some sleep. I just got back about half an hour before you. I waited up in case you came home.’
Chapter 59
Later that afternoon Alex and Christabel were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea and chatting when Colin shouted through to them.
‘Here we go — cabaret’s arrived.’
The women headed through to the sitting room to see what was going on.
‘Ah, it’s Killer,’ Christabel exclaimed, looking out of the window. ‘Come on,’ she said to Alex, ‘let’s go and meet him.’
Colin already had the door open and Mark Killian strolled in, clutching an overnight bag. He threw it down in the hall and Colin grabbed him in a bear hug.
‘You got out of France, then,’ he said.
Mark hugged him back. ‘Yeah, but I’m not sure they’ll let me back in again in a hurry.’
‘This is Alex,’ Colin said, and they shook hands. ‘Come on through to the kitchen, we’ll get the kettle on.’
As they were heading off, the front door swung open and a tall, slender, scarlet-haired woman in a ‘Ross Halfin’ T-shirt stepped inside. ‘Oi, where you want gear?’
Mark looked back at her. ‘Just leave it in the car for now. We’ll shoot outside, it’s a nice day.’
‘I have just unloaded car.’
‘Best put it all back, then.’ He turned and headed to the kitchen with Colin.
The woman glowered at his retreating back. ‘Fugging fugwit,’ she muttered, loud enough to be heard.
‘Shut your whingeing crack,’ Mark called over his shoulder, not breaking step.
The woman flipped a middle finger at him, then went back outside. Alex could hear her grumbling and complaining while she put bags and equipment back into the space she’d just taken them all out from.
‘That’s Irena,’ Chrissie told her. ‘AKA the Red Rage.’
‘She certainly seems pretty grumpy,’ said Alex. ‘Mind you, I wouldn’t be best pleased if someone spoke to me like that either.’
‘It’s just how they are,’ said Chrissie as they walked through to the kitchen.
‘Did you see that bloody T-shirt she’s wearing?’ Mark was saying as they sat back down at the table. ‘Bloody bitch. I bet Ross Halfin’s assistant isn’t wearing a T-shirt with my fucking name on it. I should sack her.’
‘She only does it to wind you up,’ said Colin, spooning coffee into a
сafetière
.
‘Well it bloody works,’ complained Mark.
Irena joined them at the same time Johnny did, having been awoken by the sound of their arrival. ‘Hi folks,’ he said as he plonked down beside Alex. He nodded at Irena. ‘Nice T, I like it.’
‘Thank you, Mr Burns. Not everyone shares your good taste and judgement.’ She looked daggers at Mark, who rolled his eyes. A little later, they headed out into the garden so Mark could take the photographs he was after. He would shoot the gig that evening, too, but those images would be private and personal. The band didn’t publicise the things they did around the village.
Irena did the donkey work, fetching the majority of the equipment from the car and grumbling all the while. Alex watched as she and Mark set up their gear and was impressed by the seamless way they worked together, their communication apparently telepathic. All Alex heard was Irena grumbling and yet if Mark held his hand out for something, she was inevitably already in the process of passing it to him.
Alex enjoyed watching the shoot. They all knew each other so well, the atmosphere was both good-natured and professional. The men followed Mark’s directions and he and Irena worked as a team. ‘You can see why they stay together, can’t you?’ Chrissie said.
Alex nodded. ‘Do they really hate each other?’
‘I have a theory that they’re in love and don’t know what to do about it. Mark won’t shag his assistant and Irena won’t move on because she can’t bear to be apart from him.’
‘Your turn, you evil witch,’ Mark said, and Irena took over as photographer for a short session of her own. Mark slipped into the role of assistant, positioning flash and umbrella as required.