Authors: Angel Rose
“No, no, not today, go… go… and take a shower. It’s your wedding day, it’s time to marry your prince.” She cupped my face in her hands and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Her eyes were filled with disappointment and it hurt me to see her in so much pain.
“You’re my best friend Margaret. I love you, thank you for always being there for me.” I hugged her tightly and dropped my head into her shoulder. She gently pushed me away. I feared that something was terribly wrong.
What could it be? How bad could it really be with Dave?
I wanted so much to understand her underlying pain with Dave. I turned slowly and started walking towards the bathroom. I turned my head slightly towards Margaret as she watched me walk away. I turned on the shower, hot then cold, and waited until it was warm. The warm mist from the shower clouded the mirror quickly in the bathroom. A sudden knock on the door startled me and I opened it quickly.
“Do you need a towel?” Margaret said softly.
“I’ve got one. Thanks.” I closed and locked the door behind me.
I didn’t like the look into Margaret’s eyes. I couldn’t even imagine what Margaret was going to tell me. This situation between Dave and Tilly was ugly and I wondered if Margaret already knew about it.
***
I stepped into my wedding dress as Margaret helped me zip it up. The dress was so beautiful and fit me like a glove, hugging my curves and accentuating my breasts and my round bottom. My mother would have been pleased. I swallowed hard and stared at Margaret ready to burst out into tears. She walked over to me and hugged me tightly from behind staring at me through the reflection in the mirror.
“This is the most important day of your life…you are so lucky to have such a wonderful man by your side. Your parents would have been proud of you.” Her lips quivered as she spoke as the tears teemed at the corner of her eyes, then glided down her cheeks. I loved Margaret so much. I couldn’t do this without her.
The limo arrived and Margaret held the long train of my dress as we stepped into the limo. Tilly was nowhere to be found and we couldn’t wait any longer.
Some bridesmaid she turned out to be.
We pulled up slowly in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Michael’s limo had arrived before mine. I’m sure that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. I saw Tilly and Eddie coming out of a cab walking hurriedly to the church. They were late, as usual, and I guess that was the reason Tilly didn’t meet us at the house. Margaret and I slowly walked towards the side entrance of the church. Margaret looked at me, stopped and said softly,
“Let me look at you,” Margaret gazed at me up and down with pride and love in her eyes.
“If I had children, I mean, if I had a daughter, I would have wanted her to be just like you.” She said as she held back her tears. Her lips quivered as she studied my face and then met my eyes.
“Oh Margaret, when my mother died, I never thought I could find anyone who would ever come close to her, ever. But I did, in you. I’m so glad you’re a part of my life. It means the world to me. You would have been a great mother to any child.” I wanted Margaret to know how much I cherished and loved her friendship. Today would be a constant reminder of how important family really is. I missed my mother. The pain in my heart hurt so badly, I closed my eyes and began to cry.
“No, don’t cry, you’ll mess up your make up, especially you’re mascara, you know how you are.” She wiped my tears with her fingertips. “I love you, Jen. Thank you for opening your heart to me.” She took out a tissue from her tiny blue beaded Coach purse. I stood near the entrance door to wipe my tears when I saw that Michael and Dave were walking together towards the front entrance. He looked so lovely in his black tux, his tie was slightly crooked and he tried to fix it as he walked with Dave. You could see the frustration in his blue-green eyes. His hair was slicked back with tiny waves cropped neatly to the side. I admired his beautiful face that was flushed with anxiety. You could tell he was nervous. My heart fluttered. I looked over at Margaret, and as I was about to enter the church, I saw Dave and Michael stop walking and turn towards each other. They started to argue. Michael immediately became angry. His blue-green eyes were tense, and his lips puckered to the corner of his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed. Dave had his finger pointed towards Michael face, shaking it up and down as if he were reprimanding a child. I stood still and cautiously stepped forward so they wouldn’t see me. Michael stepped back and shook his head at him, then took his hand and pushed Dave against his shoulder out of the way. I tilted my head to the side to see if I could get a better look, but then, I was interrupted when Margaret called out my name.
“Jen, come on, do you want to be late to your own wedding?” she said.
I took a quick step back to take another peek but they were gone. I was tired of the Michael and Dave drama. This was our day and I just wanted everyone to be happy. Dave met me in the hallway before I entered the waiting room. He stared at me intensely and held my hand in his and said,
“Are you nervous?”
“Yes, I am. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but…I love you, Dave. I thought it would be hard for me to tell you that today, but it’s not. Thanks, for everything, and especially for today. It really means a lot to me. I’d be walking myself down the aisle right now if it weren’t for you. I could never afford a wedding like this…this is my dream come true.” I shook my head and swallowed hard. “I feel like a princess…and I owe it all to you. You’re the father I dreamed of as a little girl.” Dave blushed and lowered his head. I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder.
“Dave, are you ok?”
“Jen, I never told you this but you mean so much to me, more than I ever thought you would. There’s a place in my heart for you… only you can fill.” he said as he glanced up at me with his big brown eyes.
“I know that, our friendship means the world to me…and you know…I never knew what it was like to love my father, because I never did…I just know…If I did…it has to be like loving you.” I hugged him snugly and gave him a peck on his cheek.
Dave didn’t hug me back and for a minute, I didn’t feel his love in return. Instead he shrugged me off and said,
“Ready?” he offered his arm and I grabbed on to him cautiously. I didn’t want to slip and fall with my heels and end up on a video show of life’s most embarrassing wedding moments.
I thought he might have been nervous and didn’t return my hug, but I also thought that he wanted to say something to me and couldn’t. I held that thought in my head and proceeded to walk towards the doors to get ready to walk down the aisle.
The doors opened and the wedding music began to play. I was expecting the traditional wedding song but instead, the beautiful violins were playing, stinging my heart with the sweet sound of
Meditation
from the opera
Thais
by Massenet.
I couldn’t believe it!
He remembered…they both remembered how much I loved this piece. This tugged at my heartstrings. My heart was filled with bliss, and I loved the man I was about to marry, unconditionally.
I held back my tears as I walked down the aisle trying to get a glimpse of Michael through my veil. I looked to my side staring at the people I didn’t know sitting in the decorated pews and recognizing a few familiar faces. I held on tightly to Dave’s arm and he gave me a little tug to let me know he had me covered. I walked slowly toward Michael who was standing at the altar looking just as anxious as I felt, his beautiful blue-green eyes glowing, and his heart-shaped lips quivering. I couldn’t wait to kiss him and hear him say those beautiful words “I do.” I looked at Dave for a moment and imagined he was my real father walking me down the aisle. I thought about my father momentarily…
would he be drunk? Would he have beaten my mother the night before? Would it have even mattered? As much as I hated him, why did I want him here with me today, why?
I glanced over at Michael who waited patiently for me at the altar as I dared to dream in that instant that my mother would walk through the doors of the church. Dave lifted my veil and gave me a sweet gentle kiss on my cheek. He softly placed his arms around my shoulders and whispered in my ear,
“Jen, there’s something I have to tell you,” I glanced up at him dumbfounded.
Now
you want to tell me something, I thought to myself.
“Now?” I whispered nervously.
“I really need to tell you. I can’t hold it in anymore.” he pleaded.
“Please, Dave, not now.” I whispered. I could hear Michael clearing his throat to try to get my attention as the voices in the church became silent.
“I love you, Jen,” he said seriously.
“Dave…I know,” I whispered.
“Don’t marry him, Jen, he’s not who you think he is.” I stared at Dave deep in his eyes, questioning my own thoughts that ran through my head in that split second. I shook my head in disbelief, but I stood there believing in my heart that he knew something about Michael that I didn’t.
I glared at him as my head slowly tilted to the side questioning his loyalty to me at that very moment.
I was taken aback and troubled by the words that so eagerly rolled off of his tongue. He grabbed my arms tightly. I shrugged his hands off of me, and I pushed away from him slowly so no one would notice my discomfort; my eyes never leaving his. I turned away from him and walked towards Michael. I slightly turned my head towards him again and he stared at me piercingly, with frustration blatant in his eyes. The color in his face changed from lily white to a dark shade of pink. I turned my head away giving him a look of despair. I glanced over in the direction of the priest then looked up at Michael.
The priest began to speak and I slowly drifted into another world thinking about what Dave had said to me. I was confused and distraught, and as I looked at Michael, his sacred vows became muddled words, his lips seemed to be moving in slow motion and I couldn’t hear a word he said. Then the priest looked over at me and asked me the final question, “Do you, blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah?” That’s all I heard. I hesitated to respond. Michael stared at me with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes apprehensive. Then he whispered,
“Jenesis?”
I stared at him as if I didn’t understand the question, and then I raised my head and replied, “I do.”
I began to cry as I lowered my head. Then the cry quickly turned into a sob. The shock of what Dave had said to me sickened my soul.
Maybe I heard wrong? Maybe I misunderstood?
Michael gently lifted my chin with his hand. He looked at me confounded, then wiped away my tears gently with the handkerchief from his tux.
“You may kiss the bride,” the priest said with a hesitant smile on his face obviously confused by my sobbing.
Michael kissed me softly on my lips as tears trundled down his face. He held me by my waist as my body shook. We walked down the aisle together, hand in hand, as husband and wife; and as I walked, I glanced over at Dave. My heart broke into tiny pieces, and it took everything I had not to fall apart. Dave turned his face away from me and walked away.
On the way out of the church, so many people congratulated us. The guests threw white and peach rose petals into the air as we walked out. They slowly blew into the cold crisp air floating magically like leaves in the wind. I looked at Michael and he smiled at me then squeezed my hand gently. His blue-green eyes filled with apprehension, filled with pain. He seemed so confused and he had every right to be. His wife was bawling after she said her vows and couldn’t get the words “I do” to fall from her lips. He had no idea what was going on and neither did I.
Michael and I were about to enter the limo. I saw Dr. Logan and her husband, her stepbrother, walking towards us.
“Jenesis, how beautiful you look,” she said as she kissed me on the cheek and smiled at Michael.
“Thank you, Annmarie, this is Michael. Oh, hello…” I said facing her husband as he smiled and shook Michael’s hand.
“Hello, Jenesis…Michael. I’m Richard, Annmarie has spoken so much about you.” he said. He was very awkwardly tall. He had blonde hair and deep green eyes. He was just as beautiful as her.
“Michael, so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard such great things about you. Jenesis, are you okay?” She asked recognizing the pain in my face. “You look a little stressed. It’s your wedding day. You have to enjoy it.” She cocked her and looked into my eyes. I ignored her and turned to her husband.
“We have to get together someday, after the honeymoon.” I shook his hand and smiled.
“Yes, well we better get going to change for the reception. See you later, Michael?” He turned to Michael.
“Nice meeting you, um…I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Michael said as if he were preoccupied with something else.
“Richard.” he smiled with his perfect bright, white teeth.
“We’ll see you in a bit.” They shook hands and Dr. Logan and Richard were about to walk away when I walked over to give her a hug.
As I hugged her, I whispered in her ear, “Dr. Logan, Dave said something to me.” I looked over my shoulder to look for Dave but instead I found Dr. Joe.
“Jenesis, congratulations!” he shouted at me. Michael’s smile turned into a tight line.