Authors: Angel Rose
“Are you feeling well? You look a little pale,” Margaret said.
“Yeah, much better.”
“Are you going to tell him today?” she asked curiously waiting patiently for my response.
“Yeah, I bought this Christmas ornament to give him; it says 2015,” I said excitedly pulling the box out of my apron and handing it to her. “I know it’s early but it will give us something to look forward to, right?” I swallowed the ball in my throat at the tears welled in my eyes.
“Oh my God! This is so exciting!” She glanced at it quickly and then gave it back to me. I grabbed her by the hand and we walked into the living room and made an announcement.
“Before we eat, I’d like to give Michael his present.”
Michael looked up at me and smiled and those beautiful blue-green eyes were staring at me, lovingly. I grabbed the boxed ornament out of my apron pocket and handed it to him.
“Happy New Year Michael…I wanted to give you this on Christmas day, but with the wedding and all, I wanted to wait until after.” I smiled as I stood in front of him waiting anxiously to see the reaction on his face.
Michael looked around at everyone hesitantly and smiled nervously. He opened the box and pulled out the ornament. It was an ornament shaped like a teddy bear and had an inscription that read, baby’s first Christmas. He stared at it for a moment. Then he looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowed and said,
“Jen, are you trying to tell me something?” He said sarcastically holding the ornament in his hand.
“Yes. I’m pregnant!” I shouted.
Michael’s facial expression immediately changed, his face flushed with anger as he clenched the ornament in his hand. He placed the ornament in my hand, stood up, and dashed out of the living room. Dave quickly stood up, spilling his drink in the process and followed him.
I was flooded with emotions. I went from high to low in zero to sixty…fast, and I immediately began to cry. I placed my hand over my mouth because I felt as if I was going to throw up. Tilly and Margaret walked me to the kitchen holding me by my arms. They sat me down and gave me a glass of water. I could hear Michael talking in the bedroom to Dave but, I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“Jen, it’s okay. Michael just got nervous, that’s all.” Tilly said rubbing my arm.
“Jesus, but did he have to react like a fucking asshole? What’s wrong with him?” Margaret said to Tilly.
“Come on, cut him some slack. Remember what happened, he probably just got the shock of his life. I’m sure he’ll come around,” Tilly answered.
“It’s okay. I should’ve waited until after dinner,” I said wiping my tears with a napkin and blowing my nose.
Michael approached me and said,
“Can I have a minute alone?” he glanced over at Tilly and Margaret. Margaret was upset. Tilly grabbed her by the arm, signaling her with her eyes to leave the kitchen. They walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room with Dave and Eddie.
“I’m sorry, Jenesis. I was caught by surprise. I’m in shock. I just wish you would have told me in private first.” He said apologetically while kneeling in front of me. I shook my head. “Jen, look at me. I’m sorry. I’m an ass what can I say? I just didn’t know what to say. I…I was so hurt when we lost the first baby. I’m scared.” he whispered as he kissed my nose and hugged me.
“Are you happy?” I said whimpering.
“Of course I’m happy, I love you. This is what I’ve been waiting for.” He kissed my hands and then the tips of my fingers. I shook my head.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered. I placed my head against his chest and cried quietly. I tried not to whimper, but it was evident I was hurt. He held me tightly and kissed my forehead.
“Come on.” He looked at me and grabbed my hand and a bottle of champagne from the fridge. We walked towards the living room. I was still gasping for air from crying so much. He let go of my hand and jumped on the sofa where Tilly sat.
“We’re having a baby!” he shouted. Everyone stood up and cheered. Tilly grabbed my arm and kissed my cheek.
“You little liar. Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered in my ear.
“I didn’t tell anyone.” I smiled. She nodded her head and pursed her lips.
“Except Margaret. You little shit! I wanted to know, too.” She poked her finger at my belly.
“Sorry…I still love you though.” I made a puppy dog face.
“I love you, too.” She smiled.
He popped the bottle of champagne and the cork hit the Christmas tree and knocked down one of the ornaments. Eddie ducked, making sure he wasn’t the object of affection for this cork this time around. Everyone laughed and Tilly gave everyone a plastic champagne glass with pink, yellow and blue ribbons tied to the base. Michael poured the champagne missing most of glasses and spilling champagne all over the floor. Dave took the ornament and as he placed it on the tree, he looked over at Michael and Michael nodded his head. Margaret then gave Michael a hug and Dave hugged me and whispered,
“I’m going to be the best grandpa to this little boy. It’s a boy you know…I can feel it.” Dave said as he hugged me.
“I know…I feel it, too.” I whispered.
“Hey guys, over here!” Michael shouted. The television was on channel 7, New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square. The ball was ready to drop.
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!” We all chanted together and kissed each other on the cheeks welcoming the New Year 2015. Michael got on his knees, lifted my blouse and kissed my belly while Margaret took a picture with her cell phone.
We set the table and ate dinner together. It made me feel good knowing that my mother recipe’s made other people happy, too.
But it brought back a memory and I remembered how I used to whisper in my mom’s ear after our holiday dinner, “I loved it mommy, its okay if daddy didn’t eat it. He’ll eat it later.” She would always smile, even when he threw the food and the plate in the garbage.
That unimaginable BASTARD
.
Eddie and Tilly also had an announcement to make. They were getting married, but they were getting married in England. They handed us invitations. I opened it, and it read…
You are cordially invited to the holy matrimony of
Chantilly Lace Ashforde to Edward Lewis Tavaris
on the 24th of January, 2015
.
She told me once that her mother named her after a 50’s song
Chantilly Lace
. I’ve never heard of it. She wanted to have her wedding near her family. We were all excited for them both, but heading out to England would be a no go for me especially since I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe she was getting married this month. That was a very quick decision, mainly because she was still madly in love with Dave, which she tries so much to hide.
Dave and Margaret were happy for us, too. Dave particularly, he had a huge smile on his face when Michael opened the box so Margaret said. I know how much he loves me and this baby will bring everyone closer together. I know Dave will be the best grandfather in the world to this baby and Margaret, without a doubt, would love my child more than me. Margaret and Dave left first, hugging and kissing me until I couldn’t breathe. Eddie and Tilly were happy for us, but I can see the hurt in her eyes. I know she regrets having an abortion and I don’t blame her. I know she loves Dave no matter how happy she thinks she is with Eddie. Dave was a great actor; he totally dismissed Tilly the entire night without blinking. I think he wanted to make things work with Margaret.
As everyone left the loft, the silence was music to my ears. I was tired and I just wanted to relax after all of the commotion and cooking. Michael and I sat on the couch together, my legs on top of his lap while he stroked my belly with his fingers. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, then leaned in and whispered in my ear,
“Thank you for making me the happiest man alive.” he said. I looked at him for a moment,
“I love you.” I kissed his soft lips and I placed his arm over my shoulder.
“Hey, they’re giving a great classic movie tonight,” I said.
“Yeah… what is it?”
“
Wuthering Heights
, the original.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
“You’re gonna love it.” I hugged him and we sat on the couch and watched my mother’s favorite love story, the classic movie
Wuthering Heights
on the Turner Classic Movie channel.
I fell asleep in his arms and dreamed that I was Cathy and Michael was Heathcliff. In my dream, I was reaching out to Michael to help me before I fell off the cliff near the Yorkshire moors, and then he turned his back on me. I fell to my death holding a bunch of white orchids in my hands, never seeing Michael again. I awoke frantically and looked over at Michael who was still sleeping with his eyes tightly shut.
“You didn’t save me, why Michael? Why?” I whispered to him. I felt a moment of fear that shuddered deep within my soul. I looked around the room frightened as my heart raced inside my chest. I stared at him as he slept for a moment, then I laid down next to him leaning my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and then without a warning…I fell asleep.
***
The next couple of weeks were hard. I found myself feeling nauseous all of the time and spent most of my days puking my head off. I needed a break. I called Dave and told him I was just too exhausted to go into work. Michael left early that morning with his entourage. Dave changed my shift to days, and with the baby coming he didn’t want me going home late.
Eddie and Tilly were heading to England to get married soon. I thought about how much I was going to miss them, ‘our get togethers’, and our brunches. My cell phone vibrated on the kitchen table and I ran to answer it. It was Tilly.
“Hey stranger, how’ve you been?” she asked.
“Baby’s growing nicely, how’s Eddie?”
“Nervous and not looking forward to making this big move to England?”
“Have you heard from Margaret?” I asked.
“Yeah, rarely though, we’ve all been so busy.”
“Jen, can I ask you something?” Tilly voice was low.
“Yeah, of course.”
“How are you feeling about Dave lately?”
“What? What do you mean, how am I feeling about Dave? What kind of question is that?”
“Well, I didn’t want to say anything to you, but at your wedding, he said something strange to me?”
“What?”
“Well, he said that he really loved you and that one day you would come to your senses about Michael. I mean, he was really drunk. You know, he didn’t even look at Margaret the whole night.”
“He said the same thing to me when he walked me down the aisle. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to relive any of this again. Can we drop it? Please?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m sorry. I guess you’re right. It just didn’t sit right with me. I wish you guys could come to London for our wedding. I know it’s risky because you’re pregnant. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?”
“No, but please, come over, come now and I’ll cook.”
“You know what, that sounds like a great idea. I’ll be there.” I decided to take a nap, when suddenly, the urge to vomit drove me to gag and lean over the kitchen sink and I started throwing up violently. I opened the faucet and splashed cold water on my face, grabbed the kitchen towel and wiped my mouth. I walked over to the living room and curled into a ball and fell asleep.
I woke up five hours later and started to prepare dinner. It was the best sleep I had in weeks. The buzzard rang and it was Tilly. I waited for her at the elevator and to my surprise, Margaret had accompanied her. I was so excited. I hugged them both tightly almost crushing them together. I was going to miss Tilly so much, but I was so glad Margaret was here for me. We ate and talked all that has happened since we met each other. Reflecting on the past made me decide on how I should deal with my future. I wanted things to be different with all of us. I wanted all of us to be a family.
Margaret and Tilly were getting ready to leave after their last glass of wine.
“I’m going to really miss you Tilly.” I said as my voice cracked.
“Me too, I…” She stopped speaking.
“It’s okay. I think we better just say goodbye, this is too hard.” I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you. Safe trip there, okay?” I whispered.
Tilly nodded her head and walked towards the elevator. Margaret hugged me tightly and said,
“If you ever need me for anything…I will always be here for you. I love you like a daughter, I can’t wait until my grandson is born.”
“Oh, you know it’s a boy, too, huh?” I giggled.
“Definitely…next Sunday?” she said.
“Next Sunday…drive safely.” Margaret meant every word sincerely. She seemed saddened by something but she didn’t want to say. It was probably Dave.
Later on that evening, Eddie called me on my cell phone to speak with Michael.
“Hi Eddie, Michael’s at work.” I said.
“Well, can you tell him I said Good-bye?” His voice was cold.