Authors: Becky McGraw
CHAPTER FIVE
“I’m sorry, Keegan,” Cee Cee said, swallowing hard against the lump of regret in her throat. He still held his smile, but Cee Cee saw the hurt and disappointment in his eyes.
“It’s nothing, babe,” he replied, sucking in a breath through his mouth because one nostril was stuffed with the tampon and the other was almost swollen shut. “Our, ah, arrangement didn’t include me getting attached to you. I’m sorry for putting you in the position of having to set me straight.”
“No, it’s my fault for leaving Ft. Story without finalizing things with you.”
Keegan shrugged. “Like I said, how could you? I wasn’t around, which was the reason our relationship never got off the ground to begin with.
I’m
sorry about that.”
Cee Cee put her finger over his mouth. “No more sorries. You were doing your job, and I did what I needed to do for me. I told you the reason I joined the service in the first place was to prove to my brother I could be an asset to his company. The opportunity came and I couldn’t pass it up.” She huffed out a breath, and hoped her eyes transmitted her sincerity to him. “You mean a lot to me, your friendship means a lot. I just can’t—”
His finger flew up to rest on her lips now. “Can’t never could, baby. But I understand, and I don’t ever want us to not be friends.” A grin spread over his face, that infectious grin that made her insides smile. “Hell, you’re the only woman I know who likes to do things I like to do and can do them. Hiking, zip-lining, camping…I definitely don’t want to lose you because I was stupid and pushed the envelope.” His grin faltered, and his eyes darkened. “But once you get over him, maybe we’ll talk?”
Over him
?
Cee Cee shook her head then a light bulb went off. She’d forgotten that Keegan was one of the most perceptive men she knew, and because he was he picked up on the zip-line of tension strung between her and Cade. She dragged her eyes away.
“We have issues to resolve, yeah, but I am over—” Keegan’s finger under her chin tipped it up and snapped her jaw shut.
“No, you aren’t. Just like there were things left unsaid between us, you two have a lot left unsaid too.” Keegan laughed. “That guy almost kicked my ass on the basketball court because he was jealous. He’s not over you either. I like him, but can’t say I hope things work out between you two.”
Cee Cee’s eyes fell to his throat. “He’s six-years old news, Keeg, and an arrogant asshole—there’s nothing to work out.”
“But you love him anyway. You need to either tell him that, work things out or get over him, because that hook has been in your mouth for years. Time to fish or cut bait, Ceese. If you throw the hook, please call me.”
“I will.”
Was Cade still in love with her
?
No, jealousy didn’t prove that. Based on how quickly he’d moved on six years ago, Cee Cee wasn’t convinced he’d ever been in love with her. Cade Winters was just a typical man with testosterone who wanted to prove he was the best caveman on the block in front of a woman today. What he’d proven instead was he was immature and self-centered. But after he’d kicked Keegan’s butt, he’d patched him up. That was the only glimpse she’d caught that the man she used to know might still reside in that now rock hard exterior of his.
That was the man she lov—
used
to love.
“So are you signing a new contract with the teams now?” Cee Cee asked and her heart squeezed.
Keegan got deployed a lot, mostly on short in and out missions they called ‘training missions’, but she knew they were actually vital and dangerous missions he just couldn’t talk about. It worried her now that if something ever happened to him, she’d never know, because she really did care about him. When she was at Ft. Story, she could check up on him. She knew when he was delayed coming home from a mission.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m at a crossroads in my military career. It’s time for me to fish or cut bait too.” He blew out a breath, and looked up. “I’m going to talk to Jaxson before I leave and see if he has any advice for me.”
Before he went back to Virginia and she’d be alone here again. Friendless and feeling like a goldfish frying in the desert sun looking for that oasis that was only a mirage. Why in the hell was she being so stupid? This man was a good one. Keegan understood and respected her, and she was sending him away. Cecelia had to be the dumbest woman on earth.
She deserved to fry in the desert.
Keegan pushed up the corner of her mouth with his finger. “Stop frowning, Ceese. This is all going to work out fine for both of us.”
Fine.
Not exactly what she wanted for herself or her life.
Cecelia wanted
great
…amazingly happy. Forever after. That is what she felt she was letting walk away from her right now but she must be a damned masochist, because she couldn’t make herself ask him to stay.
“I’m a damned fool for cutting you loose,” she said, with a sigh.
“Damn straight you are,” Keegan replied with that trademark grin. “But you can’t save a fool from herself. Especially one in love with someone else.”
“I’m
not
in lov—” she growled, but he sealed her mouth with his finger again and she sighed.
“Give me a kiss goodbye so I can haul myself, my broken heart and probably broken nose back to Virginia,” Keegan said, his voice heavy with regret as his head drifted toward hers. “Make it good, because this has to last me a lifetime.”
Damn Cade Winters to hell
.
***
Cade paced in the outer room of the barracks wondering how damned long two people could suck face. After he showered and dressed, he tried to leave but opened the door, saw them and slammed it shut. He was not about to walk across the yard to his truck until they finished the clinch. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. But he couldn’t make himself look out the window again to see if they were done.
This whole unreal situation was Cee Cee Logan’s fault.
He had a bad feeling that her showing up here today with the SEAL was no accident, it was a game she was playing with him. A game as immature as that game of full contact basketbrawl he’d engaged in with her boyfriend.
It needed to stop now, because they weren’t in high school or college anymore. Cade couldn’t give a shit less who she dated or fucked, or whatever was the case with them. He planned on telling her just that as soon as he got her alone—and to grow the hell up.
When he finally heard the throaty rumble of the bastard’s bike, he stopped at the door to open it expecting to see them riding out of the gate. What he saw instead was the SEAL on the bike solo, waiting at the gate for it to open and Cee Cee Logan reaching for the doorknob.
A weird knee-weakening sense of relief shot through him and questions popped into his head, but he refused to ask them. Cee Cee Logan and her love life were not his business.
“I need to talk to you,” she said, her voice full of emotion.
Even though he just said he wanted to give her a piece of his mind, Cade didn’t have time to do that now. It would have to wait. Especially if she was wound up for female dramatics, which is what it looked like from the expression on her beautiful face.
“I definitely have things to say to you too later, Brat. But right now, I have to pick up Ronnie from the airport—and I’m late thanks to you and your boyfriend,” he said brushing by her to walk into the yard. Cecelia followed behind him as he stalked toward his truck.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she yelled at his back.
“Lover then,” Cade revised, his stomach clenching as he strode around the front of the truck to the driver’s door. She was right there beside him before he could open the door and he ground his teeth. “Leave me alone, Brat.”
“I wish I could,” she replied, swallowing hard. She laid a hand on his forearm and fire singed every hair as it sizzled up his arm. “Let me go with you so we can talk…please.” Her big, soulful blue eyes pleaded her case and he felt their tug inside his chest. “I’d like to see Ronnie again anyway. Please, Cade…”
Cade felt a tick start at the corner of his eye, and it kept time with his out of control heartbeat. He grabbed the door handle and nudged her aside. “No—and I don’t have time to argue, Cecelia.”
“Please, Cade—you’re working here now and we have to bury the hatchet, if we’re going to work together. This has gone on for two months.”
It was a good damned thing he didn’t have a hatchet in his hand right now, Cade thought, as he yanked the handle to open the door. “As soon as my sister is safe again, I won’t be working here, so there’s no problem. I think avoiding each other has worked out just fine.” The electric running bar rolled out from under the truck and he put a boot on it.
Cee Cee’s eyebrows pinched. “Ronnie’s in danger? What’s going on?”
“I told you I don’t have time to talk,” Cade growled, hopping into the truck and slamming the door. Before he could put the key into the ignition, the passenger door opened, and like a cat, Cee Cee jumped up inside without the aid of the running bar, which was a feat because of her height. He watched her angrily jerk the seatbelt across her body and snap it into the lock, before folding her arms over her chest.
When he just sat there staring at her, she said, “I thought you were in a hurry? Crank the damned truck!” That stubborn chin lifted and she looked out the window.
Cade fired up the engine, but only because he knew with that look on her face it would be a helluva fight to get her out of his truck. One he definitely didn’t have time for. Grinding the gears until he found first, Cade popped the clutch and the truck lurched. Cecelia’s squeak and the sound of the thunk of her head against the seat back made him smile.
Yeah, hang on for a rough ride, Brat, especially if you plan on having a showdown in this truck
.
Like him, the truck was made for action, not comfort. On the day he got back on US soil, Ronnie and Trace brought him to the dealership right after they picked him up at the airport. He saw this truck, and it was love at first sight.
Not unlike when you first met Cecelia Logan at the Logan Ranch all those years ago and thought you’d seen an angel, until she opened her mouth.
That thought caused the gears to groan as Cade slammed the stick down into second, before upshifting to first again as he pulled to a stop at the box at the gate. Cecelia had been shiny and new then too with those big blue eyes and long golden hair, but too young for him to pursue, because she was two-and-a-half years younger.
When she got to college though, Cade didn’t waste any time going after what he’d wanted so long and lived to regret it. He sure hoped his truck purchase ended up a lot better than his relationship with Cecelia turned out.
It
would
because he was more cautious now.
Cade was still a man of action, but he thought about consequences before he jumped now. Before he purchased the truck, he’d checked out every major component, things that might give him trouble in the future. Too bad he hadn’t exercised as much forethought before he chose to get involved with the stubborn, hardheaded woman beside him.
But he’d been impetuous, young and stupid then. He let his dick do his thinking back then, but not now. Those days were long gone, as were any feelings he had for this woman.
Rolling down the window, Cade stabbed the red button to open the gate. It rattled as it rolled back and he waited, but he didn’t raise his window back up. In just the two minutes he’d been closed up in the hot truck with her, her sweet and spicy scent filled the cab making his tongue tingle like it used to as he remembered she tasted the same way.
He needed to clear it out of the truck and his head, or pretending she wasn’t with him would be impossible. And that was exactly his plan until they got to the airport. If he could manage that, he’d be home free.
Once he picked up Ronnie, he was dropping Cecelia off at her apartment as fast as he could get there. Hopefully, since he wouldn’t be in the office from here on out, he wouldn’t see her until this mission wrapped and he could get out of town.
The gate opened, he pulled through then hung a left and reached over to turn on the stereo, hoping music would help him avoid the confrontation she seemed determined to have with him. Cade flipped through channels until he found the alternative rock station because there wasn’t a chance in hell he was risking country songs at the moment. Pushing three times on the volume button, he raised the level until he thought conversation was unlikely unless she yelled.
With a satisfied smile, he settled in to focus on the road, but felt her eyes burning the side of his face. After a few miles, when she didn’t speak, Cade finally relaxed and slid down in the seat as an old Nickelback song came on the radio. He didn’t recognize it until the end of the first line, when Cecelia started singing along.
This time, this place, misused, mistakes.
The knot in Cade’s throat, the pressure in his chest, grew with every word she sang in that slightly husky voice he remembered.
Far away for far too long
—her voice broke, she sucked in a shuddering breath and turned her head away. But the goddamn song kept on, and every word was like a razor blade slicing through his insides until his hand shot out and he stabbed the off button. But the words still echoed inside his skull, mixed with the soft choked sob he heard from the woman on the other side of the truck, and the wall of ice around his heart didn’t just crack, it splintered releasing all the bile and anger it had held back for six years to poison his blood.