Her Brother's Keeper (28 page)

“Butterflies are always around him,” Hannah said as her eyes filled with tears. “They used to land on him all the time.” She took a few steps toward Charlotte. “Did you really see that? Or are you just trying to make this all better?”

“I saw it. I believe it's a sign that Ethan is with God.” Charlotte turned toward the car when she heard the door slam.

“Someone called for a driver?” An elderly man walked toward Charlotte's suitcases, and she nodded.

Charlotte waited until the man was stowing the suitcases in the trunk before she spoke. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know . . . about what I saw. So, I'll leave with you all hating me, and I wouldn't say I know God very well, but it is a step in the right direction that might not have happened if things had unfolded differently. I just regret that I'm no longer part of this family.”

“You never were,” she said slowly, and Charlotte could feel the knife piercing her heart as Hannah turned and walked back to the house.

Seventeen

H
annah waved off her mother when she walked back into the living room. “I don't want to talk right now.” She hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and she closed her bedroom door behind her. After she fell onto the bed, she buried her head in her pillow and sobbed until her head was splitting. She forced back the tears and sat up. She opened the drawer of her nightstand and took out the picture she'd found while packing Charlotte's things. And for the hundredth time, she read the inscription on the back.
To my one and only. I love you . . .

She wasn't sure which blow to her heart hurt the most—Charlotte's lies, Ethan's death, or the picture of Edna.
Ethan, why?
Hannah wondered if Charlotte had brought the picture from home or if maybe she'd gone to Ethan's house when she went on her walks. Most likely, Charlotte had found the photo at Ethan's house.

After another hour of crying, wondering, and praying, she dried her tears. Ethan was gone. And Charlotte was gone. But Edna was right around the corner.

Charlotte tearfully told Ryan the whole story as she lay on the bed in her hotel room. As upset as she was, at least she wasn't sweating. The first thing she'd done when she got to her room was to turn the air conditioning on high.

“So, I booked a flight home for tomorrow morning,” she said, unable to control the tears.

“Sweetie, I'm so sorry things turned out this way.”

Charlotte cried even harder at the sound of Ryan's soothing voice and endearment. “I just want to come home.”

“I think that the journal entries and letters to Ethan they found just added salt to an open wound. But maybe in time they will heal and let you back into their lives. I know how much you grew to care about them.”

“They are so real—so loving and genuine. I don't know how to explain it. And I'd do anything to have a family like that.
Anything
.”

Ryan promised to call her later, and after she'd showered, cried some more, and squeezed into a pair of blue jeans and a T-shirt, she sat down on the bed, realizing she already missed her Amish clothes. After another ten minutes of feeling sorry for herself, she rummaged through her suitcases and piled her dresses, black socks, prayer coverings,
and extra pair of black shoes on the bed. She hated to throw good clothes away, so she decided that tomorrow morning, she'd just leave them on the bed. Maybe someone from housekeeping could find a home for them.

She slipped on a pair of flip-flops, then repacked what was left, which wasn't much. It all fit in one suitcase. Then a jolt of adrenaline spiked, and she hurriedly started pulling everything out again as she searched for the picture of Edna.

Oh no.
Hannah had been hurt enough, but after Charlotte searched and searched again through her things, she knew that Hannah or Lena must have found the photo. She dumped her purse on the bed, but no picture.

Isaac guided his buggy up the driveway to Hannah's house. Mary's voice mail was confusing, but her message said that Hannah would explain everything. Isaac had been hesitant to leave his mother, but she was going to run errands anyway, and she insisted that Isaac's father was much better since the doctors had adjusted his medications. Isaac was still keeping a close eye on both of them.

Lena met Isaac at the door, then went and got Hannah.

“Wie bischt?
Can we talk?” Isaac stepped outside when Hannah pushed the screen door open. “Are you okay? I got a confusing voice mail message from Mary.”

Hannah pulled a tissue from her apron pocket and
dabbed at her eyes. “I'm okay. I think. But Mary isn't that woman's real name.”

Isaac stayed beside Hannah as they walked down the porch steps to a bench near the garden. Once they'd sat down, Hannah burst into tears. Isaac put his arm around her as she told the strange tale about Mary—Charlotte.
So, that's why she'd asked so many questions about Ethan.

“It's all so awful,” Hannah said, sniffling. “And now I'm also left wondering if Ethan was in love with someone else.” She pulled a picture from her pocket and handed it to Isaac.

His chest tightened when he read the note on the back of the photo, wanting to choose his words carefully so he wouldn't upset her even more. But it certainly appeared that Ethan and Edna had been carrying on in an inappropriate way for her to write a note like that. He'd tried to talk himself out of that notion when he'd first seen them together at the restaurant. But this seemed like proof that they'd become romantically involved. Posed pictures were mostly forbidden. It wouldn't get a person shunned or anything, but it was looked down upon.

He handed the photo back to Hannah. “I'm not sure what to think about that.” She was so upset that Isaac wondered if she really was ready to move on. And Isaac was still processing everything she'd told him.

“Charlotte was like my sister. We'd grown very close. It's a toss-up as to what I'm the most hurt about.” Hannah paused. “After thinking about it, in some ways,
her coming here was good. She said she found the Lord while she was here.” She blotted her eyes again as Isaac kept his arm around her, gently rubbing her shoulder. Then she offered a weak smile. “Like Ethan. He always said we saved him. Maybe we saved Charlotte, too, and it was all part of God's plan.”

Isaac was at a loss for words. Charlotte had asked a lot of questions, some of which Isaac had answered. He wasn't going to lie to Hannah, but he hoped she didn't ask if Isaac knew anything about Ethan and Edna. Isaac didn't want to be the one to confirm her suspicions.

“Are you going to ask Edna about the photo?” Isaac thought about the mess it would stir up if Edna's fiancé found out. But, right or wrong, it didn't seem fair for Edna to have contributed to something that caused so much pain for so many people.

“I don't know.” Hannah sniffled as she locked eyes with him. “I'm glad you're here, Isaac.” She put her head on his shoulder and found his hand, latching on tightly.

As good as it felt to have her near him, clinging to him, he didn't want secrets between them, and his stomach was churning with anxiety. He eased her away, keeping hold of her hand. “I need to tell you something.”

“Ach, nee.”
She let go of his hand and brought it to her chest. “You sound so serious, and I'm not sure my heart can take anything else.”

Since there was no good way to tell her, Isaac just blurted it out. “I saw Ethan and Edna together once.”

Hannah stared across the yard, a faraway look in her eyes. “Did everyone know that Ethan and Edna were carrying on? Everyone but me?”

“Nee
, not that I know of. I only saw them together one time. I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything.” He touched her chin and gently turned her to face him. “But I never thought Ethan was worthy of your love after that. And because of that, I never reached out to Ethan when I could tell that he was depressed, in need of a friend. Maybe if I had, he wouldn't have felt so hopeless.”

Hannah was quiet for a while. “I think maybe Jacob knew something. He seemed to like Ethan in the beginning, but later in our relationship, Jacob stopped wanting to be around him.” She made fists with both her hands and gently hit her knees. “I don't know who to trust! I'm mad. I'm hurt. And . . .” She searched Isaac's eyes, needing answers, but Isaac didn't have them.

“I promise you can trust me, Hannah.”

Isaac's heart sank when she resumed staring, the faraway look in her eyes again. He knew he couldn't expect her to blindly trust anymore. He'd have to earn it.

Charlotte stowed her purse underneath the seat in front of her and fastened her seat belt. She was thankful for a window seat, and in three hours, Pennsylvania, Hannah,
Isaac, and all they represented would be behind her. She was hopeful that God was traveling home with her.

In her heart, she knew He was, but she was having a hard time understanding how God had let things fall apart like this. Her first conclusion, that God was punishing her. For all the lies and deceptions. She'd asked for His forgiveness repeatedly, and through the Amish worship services she'd attended, she knew that God forgave you the moment you asked Him. So, in hindsight, maybe God had forgiven her, and the horrific pain she felt was her inability to forgive herself. She wasn't the same person she'd been when she first arrived in Paradise, so she was going to choose to believe the latter, that God had forgiven her. Forgiving herself might take time.

Either way, she was going home. Back to the life she'd had before she knew what it was like to have a loving family, a sister, and a place to belong. She leaned her head back against the seat as the pilot fired up the engines. Normally, she'd be nervous until the plane was off the ground and leveled out, but today, other worries consumed her, and crashing into the ocean didn't sound so bad. Right away, she thought about Ethan and regretted her thought. She was sad, but she didn't want to die.