Her Brother's Keeper (31 page)

Charlotte nodded, feeling sick to her stomach. She followed LeAnn to lost and found and scribbled her name and phone number on the form with a description that read:
Small brown leather book lost on flight from Pittsburgh to Houston. Sentimental value.
Then she remembered that it had a design on the front, so she added:
Cover has emblem of Alpha and Omega.
She drew the two symbols as best she could.

Ryan was holding two Starbucks coffees when she got back. “Did you get it?”

She shook her head. “So, I'll never know what was going on in Ethan's head when he killed himself.”

“Maybe you're not supposed to know,” Ryan said as he handed her one of the cups. “Vanilla latte with whipped cream, right?”

“Thank you.” She took a sip. “I feel sick. How could I have left that book on the plane?”

“Maybe someone will find it and turn it in.”

Ryan piled the two empty suitcases and her full red one on a rack and they started toward the parking garage. “It's not worth anything to anyone but me, and I doubt there is an address, phone number, or anything inside. My only hope is that someone turns it in at the airport. I'll call and check for the next few days. The security guard said there is a lost and found, and he gave me the number.”

“It was nice of Hannah to give you the diary. Is that what we're calling it, a diary?”

Charlotte frowned. “I don't know for sure what it is.” She grunted a little. “I should have tried to read at least some of it on the plane. I just had such a bad headache, then I fell asleep.”

“Well, I think if it's meant to be, someone will find that book and get it back to you.”

“I guess.” Although, if it didn't show up, she would wonder for the rest of her life what was written in that book.

Hannah and Jacob sat quietly on the couch in the living room, waiting on their parents to come out of their bedroom. Their father had called a family meeting. It had been a week since Charlotte left, and Hannah presumed this meeting would be about the importance of
forgiveness. But Hannah and Jacob had been waiting for a half hour, and they could hear muffled voices coming from their parents' bedroom.

“You think this is about Charlotte?” Jacob leaned back against the couch, then yawned.

“Maybe it's about you sneaking out at night to go see Annie.”

Jacob stiffened as he leaned forward. “Do you think they know?”

Hannah shrugged. “I don't know.”

“How'd you know, about Annie?”

Hannah tipped her head to one side as she folded her arms across her chest. “Because you're noisy, and the third stair creaks. I can't believe you haven't gotten caught before now, but I'm not sure that's what this meeting is about.”

The bedroom door opened, so they both turned their attention to their parents. Usually, their father led these family meetings, but their mother cleared her throat.

“I know that we are all still upset about Mar—I mean Charlotte. It will take us some time to recover since we all grew to care about her very much. So, I ask you to keep your heart open to forgiveness. But I'm afraid I have some other news to share, some news I received from my doctor yesterday.”

Hannah had noticed that her mother was very quiet the day before, but she didn't think that much of it. “
Mamm
, what's wrong?”

Their mother took a deep breath. “I have breast
cancer.” She squeezed her eyes closed, but held a palm toward Hannah and Jacob. “And before you get upset, let me just say that the doctor said my chances of beating this are very
gut
.”

Hannah thought about Isaac's father, how he'd been in remission for a while now. But she remembered how sick he'd been from all of the chemotherapy and radiation. “Will you have to have chemotherapy?” Hannah bit her bottom lip and tried to keep her breathing steady. She wanted to be strong for her mother.

“Ya
, I will. The doctor called my cancer a stage three, so I will travel to Houston where they have a hospital called MD Anderson. He says it's the best and they have something called clinical trials that I might want to see about. Just in case I need that.”

Hannah looked back and forth between her father and Jacob. Her brother's lip trembled. “That's where Charlotte lives,” Hannah said. “I saw her address on her driving license.” Hannah had actually copied the address down.

“I know, but not a concern one way or the other. I will speak with some of the women here to see if they can help with things while I am away. And of course, we know they will. I'm sure there will be plenty of meals brought over and help with whatever else you all need.”

Hannah wasn't worried about the increase in chores. She was worried about her mother. And to her knowledge, her mother had never been out of Pennsylvania, except for their one trip to Ohio to visit family. “
Mamm
,
I should go with you.” She glanced at her father. “Or
Daed
should.”

Her mother shook her head. “
Nee
. Your father needs to work, and Hannah, even with help from others, you will still have your hands full with washing, sewing, keeping the house clean, and taking care of my goats. I don't want to worry about my family while I am away.”

“How long will you be gone?” Hannah was wondering why there seemed to be a string of upsets in her life, one thing after the other. The only recent good thing had been the time she'd spent with Isaac this past week, and she could see things moving in a positive direction, even though she was approaching any opportunity at romance with caution.

“I don't know how long I'll be gone.”

Despite her confident and steady voice, Hannah knew this was well-rehearsed in an effort not to scare her and Jacob. Hannah knew stage three wasn't the worst, but it wasn't good either. She remembered that Isaac's father was a stage three when he was diagnosed. Even though his cancer had been rare, he ended up with a fake leg. She could see the fear in her mother's eyes, and even more frightening—in her father's.

Isaac listened to Hannah for over an hour, barely getting in a word. And that was just fine with him. He could
watch and listen to her all day long and never tire of it. Being with Hannah was so different than the time he'd spent with Mary Charlotte—that's what they were calling her now since no one felt comfortable calling her just Charlotte—because they enjoyed the same things. Normally Hannah flinched at the mention of Mary Charlotte. Today their former friend was the topic of conversation.

“So, what do you think? Should I write Mary Charlotte a letter about
Mamm
?” Hannah reached for a slice of pepperoni pizza on the table between them. Isaac wanted to start new traditions with Hannah, so instead of a picnic, this was their second time eating at Predisio's Pizzeria. It was a favorite for both of them, and they'd chosen a booth in the back of the restaurant to call their own.

“When Mary Charlotte and I were, uh . . .” Isaac paused, searching Hannah's eyes for a reaction. “Dating.” He stopped and locked eyes with her. “Does it bother you for me to say that? I mean we weren't really dating. It was more like friends.”

“Oh, sure,” Hannah said, grinning as she took a bite.

He smiled back at her. “Anyway, when I was spending time with my
gut
friend Mary Charlotte, she asked a lot of questions about God, and at the time, I thought it was weird. Then I found out she wasn't baptized into our faith until she was nineteen, so that explained a lot.”

“But she
wasn't
baptized into our faith.”

“Ya
, I know that now, but back then, she seemed to be
searching for something. She was kind of lost. I guess her
bruder
's death was still heavy on her heart.” The moment he said it, Isaac wondered about Hannah, if Ethan was still heavy on her heart. But she didn't say anything. Instead, she took a big bite of pizza. They hadn't talked about Ethan in a while. Hannah completely believed Edna's tale about the picture, so Isaac went along with her, even though he knew what he saw was more than an affectionate gesture for a job well done.

“Mei daed
had his cancer treatments in Philadelphia. Why can't your
mamm
do that?”

“I'm not sure. She said her doctor was sending her to a special hospital in Houston. I'm just worried.
Mamm
has only been on a plane one time to go to Ohio, and I don't think she's ever even stayed in a hotel. I haven't either. When we went to visit cousins . . .
cousins
in Ohio, we stayed at their
haus
.”

“You miss her, don't you?” Isaac was reading between the lines.

She set her slice of pizza down. “I don't miss Charlotte. I miss Mary. Or the person I thought to be Mary.”

Isaac swallowed, wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I read in an
Englisch
book one time that some people are in our lives for a season, some forever. I think God had a plan for you and Mary Charlotte. As for me and Mary Charlotte, she was interested in getting information about Ethan. What I wanted to know from her is if you were ready to move on with your life without Ethan. But
there was never anything more than friendship there, for either one of us. But to answer your question, I think you should write her. You need to for yourself, and I think Mary Charlotte would take care of your mother while she was in Houston. Do you think your
mamm
could see past everything that happened to let Charlotte help her?”

“I don't know. Maybe. It's
mei
father who might forbid it.”

“If it helped your
mudder
, I think he might allow it.”

“I think
Daed
should go with her, but
Mamm
said she doesn't want them to have to take any more than they need out of the community health fund. They want to pay as much as they can on their own, so she wants
Daed
to continue to build furniture and keep things running here. And Jacob has been sneaking out to see Annie. I think
Mamm
knows and is looking the other way. I don't know about
Daed
. I don't think they want to leave Jacob with just me.”

It was late in the evening when Hannah finally decided to write Charlotte. She wasn't even sure if she would mail the letter, but she hoped it would make her feel better. She'd cried herself to sleep the past two nights, worried about her mother. She didn't see how their family could function without her. Surely, God wouldn't take away someone else she loved.

Hannah opened the bottom drawer of her dresser where she kept books, and she took out her dictionary. Charlotte was obviously educated, and Hannah didn't want her eighth-grade education to stick out too much if she could help it.

Dear Charlotte,

It is a strange feeling for me to call you by this name, when to me you are still Mary, our cousin from Beeville. I wish that I could write to you and say that our feelings are no longer sad, but that would be a lie. My heart hurts, and I wish that the Mary who was my friend and cousin were back. I know by your tears that you are sad, too, and I must thank you again for telling me about the butterflies in the clouds. I will always miss Ethan, but I have been spending a lot of time with Isaac.