Her Brother's Keeper (34 page)
As for Hannah . . . she's moving on, Ethan. She loved you, and I'll never understand what drove you into Edna's arms. But what's done is done. Hannah is finding happiness with Isaac, and I'm so happy for both of them. Edna married John Dienner. I didn't go to the wedding, even though Hannah asked me to attend with her. And maybe I should have gone, if for no other reason than to be there for Hannah since I know it was difficult for her to watch Edna and John take their vows. Hannah confronted Edna about a week after I came home. She told Edna that she knew about your relationship. Edna pleaded with Hannah not to tell anyone that the two of you'd had an affair. I don't know if I could have kept that information to myself, but then again . . . I'm not Hannah, and Hannah chose not
to destroy Edna's life. What a wonderful sister-in-law Hannah would have been, but everything happens for a reason, according to God's plan, and Hannah and I are sisters in every sense of the word. She said I'm a Daughter of the Promiseâsomeone who has sought and found new meaning to the words faith, hope, and love. Had things played out any differently, I might not have been introduced to God and taught how to trust Him with my life.
Charlotte took a deep breath, tucked her brown hair behind her ears, and thought about the Ethan she'd known. Edna had told Hannah that the affair with Ethan had been a mistake that she would regret and have to live with for the rest of her life. She said that Ethan became obsessed with her, following her around so much that it sounded like he was stalking the woman. Charlotte had to face the fact that no matter how much she'd loved her brother, deep down, she'd always known that Ethan's desire to be loved might someday get the best of him. The irony is that he betrayed someone who loved him deeply and unconditionallyâHannah. Charlotte watched him go in and out of depression their entire lives. She put pen to paper again.
I have trouble forgiving Edna. I know that by not forgiving her, I'm only hurting myself, so I'm working on that. It's also hard for me to forgive our parents, but I pray about that often. If I wanted to find Mom, I
could. And one day maybe I'll be ready to talk to her. But not yet.
Lena will be back next week for another treatment. She dreads the chemo, but I always look forward to spending time with her. I haven't talked to Jacob or Amos since I left. Lena said Amos doesn't say much about me, but that he is grateful that I am taking care of her when she's in Houston. It's a privilege to do so. I sense that Amos still harbors some bitterness toward me, and I can't say I blame him. I told an awful lot of lies while I was there. But I will be going to Lancaster County next fall. Jacob is getting married! I think he's much too young. He'll be almost eighteen, and it's the Amish way to marry young, but he seems like a baby to me. I'm hopeful that by then maybe Isaac and Hannah will be getting married also.
She tapped the pencil against the yellow pad, then glanced at the framed picture on her nightstand. A photo of her and Ryan taken right before Christmas at the ice skating rink in the Galleria Mall. She'd almost toppled onto the ice when she'd captured the selfie of them. But as Ryan had done more than once over the past few months, he held her up and kept her from falling.
Ryan is wonderful, Ethan. I'm not sure if he is the one, but I care deeply about him, and our relationship is in a good place. I wish you were here to see for yourself. I wish that we could have gotten you treatment for your depression. I wish that you'd never felt so alone and desperate that you felt the only way out was to take your own life. I wish . . . I wish . . . But God never wastes a hurt. So much has changed for me. For the better. I'd do anything to have you back, but I'm finally moving on with my life, putting each foot forward toward a brighter future.
So, until I see you againâand I do believe I will see you againâsleep with the angels, my dear brother.
Love,
Char
She pulled the drawer of her nightstand open and put the yellow pad and pen inside. She'd just closed it when the phone rang. Smiling, she glanced at the clock on her cell phone.
Right on time.
“Hey, you.”
Ryan called every night at ten thirty to tell her good-night. Just the sound of his voice always made her smile. As she listened to him talk about his day, she closed her eyes and smiled again.
Thank you, God
.
1. Charlotte arrives in Lancaster County as Mary, and she has an agendaâto find out what caused her brother to take his own life. But God has a much larger plan for Charlotte. What are some of the things that Charlotte learns about herself along the way?
2. Is it ever okay to intentionally lie? Or should it be avoided at all costs, no matter how much pain it might cost us or others? Is it okay to lie in an effort to spare feelings?
3. Do you believe that if a person kills himself or herself that he/she will go to heaven? And what if that person is mentally ill or dealing with severe depression; does that make a difference?
4. What would have happened if Ethan's journal had not been returned to Charlotte? Did you see signs of
her accepting God's plan, one way or another? Or would she be forever haunted by her need to know?
5. At what point in the story did you see Charlotte starting to change? And when did she start putting her faith in God? How did that ultimately change not only her thinking, but her actions?
6. Isaac has been putting his own life on hold to help take care of his parents. Who has the most influence over him, convincing him that it's time to live his own life?
7. At the end of the story, Charlotte is working on her relationship with God. Do you think that as her faith grows, she will ever seek out her mother? Or would doing that be a setback for Charlotte?
8. There are several things about Charlotte that irritate Hannah in the beginning. What are they, and when in the story did Hannah start to overlook these things? What were some of the things she grew to love about Charlotte?
9. Edna seems to walk away unscathed and goes on to marry John Dienner. Do you think that she should be held accountable for her role in Ethan's death? Is she partly responsible that Ethan chose to take his own life? Do you think that guilt will catch up with her, that she'll eventually confess to John?
10. Do you know what Pig Latin is? Did you ever play around with it as a child? Any fun stories to share?
11. What are your thoughts about the real-life ways that
the Amish are embracing more and more technology? Most of the Amish folks in Lancaster County use cell phones, for example.
12. At the end of the story, things are going well for Charlotte and Ryan. Do you think that Ryan began noticing the changes in Charlotte way before Charlotte did? Ryan tells Charlotte that the trip was never about Ethan, that it has always been about her. Do you agree? How might things have turned out differently if Charlotte had never gone to Lancaster County?
13. Jacob is fascinated with space, and Lena doesn't like his outside interest. Hannah even says that her mother is afraid Jacob's hobby will take him away from their community. But at the end of the book, Jacob is planning to marry Annie. Do you think he will continue his interest in space through books and by using his telescope, or will he feel stifled and feel the need to further his knowledge?
14. Charlotte takes a rope with her when she travels, to ensure that she won't be trapped by fire again. Is this going overboard or justified? Do you have a fear that you've faced but that still lingers in a way that influences your decisions and/or choices? For example, if you nearly drowned, do you avoid boats and water?
15. In the Epilogue, Charlotte writes to Ethan that she will be returning in the fall to attend Jacob and
Annie's wedding. Do you think that Charlotte might consider converting to the Amish faith at some point?
16. What was your favorite part of the story?
I
'm so incredibly thankful to God for this amazing journey I'm on, but there are always others to thank as well. It takes a giant team effort to get a book on the shelves, and I could never do it alone. I have a wonderful family, fantastic friends, a great agent, an amazing husband (love you, Patrick!), and an awesome publishing team. But there are always people behind the scenes who are helping in ways that they might not be aware of. Karen and Tommy Brasher are two of these people. Sometimes people do nice things for you, but they never really recognize the depth of their kindnesses.
Authors can be such weird people, and as such, we need the universe in near perfect order to be able to write creatively. At least, I do. So, it's an honor to dedicate this book to Karen and Tommy Brasher, with thanks and appreciation for helping to keep the planets in our world
aligned and spinning. Happy husband equals happy wife, and combined, that means more books.
We love you, Karen and Tommy.
To my editors, Becky Philpott and Natalie Hanemann, you ladies rock, and I love you both. A huge thanks for helping me mold my stories into a much better end result. And you always do it gently and with kindness, even if the project needs an overhaul, LOL. And thank you for having faith in me from rough draft to final product.
Natasha Kern, I've said it before, and I'll say it againâyou are a woman with MANY hats, and you wear them all so well! I love and appreciate you.
Much gratitude to my wonderful assistantâJanet Murphyâalthough that title doesn't begin to cover her job description. XO
And a warm welcome to the newest member of our team, the fabulous Jamie Foley. So glad to have you on board, Jamie.
To Renee' Bissmeyer, you've always cracked the whip when it came to me meeting my deadlines, in the early years, and even now when I need it. But you seem to have a little princess in training with her own mini whipâDiana Newcomer. LOL. Love you both! Thanks for keeping me in line when I'd rather be cleaning the baseboards or doing anything other than writing some days. XO