Her Brother's Keeper (32 page)

I want to tell you that I had a visit with Edna Glick. She did not have a romantic time with Ethan. It is a bit much to write here, but I know Edna is telling the truth.

She tapped the pencil to her chin, knowing that she could never be positive that Edna was telling the truth, but she had to believe that Ethan was when he said he loved her.

My cause for writing you today is that I must ask a favor. Even though there have been many lies between
us, my family did grow to love you. Mamm has cancer. It is the bad kind in the third stage. She will be going to Houston sometime in the days or weeks coming, and maybe it will be in your heart to visit her or maybe give her a ride to or from the airport. She is going to be afraid since she has only been out of our state one time, and she has never traveled on her own. If you do not want to do this, do not worry. If you do, please write me back.

Sending you blessings,
Hannah

She reread the letter, then put it in an oversize envelope, along with the potholders and the recipe box.

Nineteen

R
yan eased down on the couch beside Charlotte, following a Weight Watchers' version of meat loaf she'd cooked for them. It wasn't nearly as tasty as what Lena used to make, but Charlotte's scale in her bathroom was no longer her friend, and she was trying to undo some of the damage she'd done feasting on the food in Amish Country. Even though she missed the food, and especially the bread, she missed her family the most.

“I got this in the mail today.” She handed Ryan the letter she'd received from Hannah. “I read it about a dozen times.” After he'd had time to read it, she showed him the potholders and recipe box, explaining the significance of each.

Ryan had been over to visit every night since Charlotte got back, and things were definitely moving in the direction of an official relationship.

“I know both of these items mean a lot to you,” he said as he handed the box and potholders back to her. “And I caught the part about Hannah hooking up with your ex-boyfriend.”

“He was never my boyfriend.” She nudged him with her elbow.

He handed the letter back to her. “I'm glad she seems to be finding some happiness with Isaac, after everything with Ethan and all. I know you're glad she reached out to you, but that's awful about her mother.”

“I know.” She read the part about the cancer again. “I have an editing project to finish up tomorrow morning, then I'm going to write her back. I'm wondering if Lena knows that Hannah wrote to me. I'd like to offer for Lena to stay here during her treatments. My schedule is flexible enough to work around her appointments, give her rides, or whatever else she needs.”

“That's a big job, caring for someone going through chemo. You sure you're up for that? I'll help you any way I can.”

Charlotte leaned her head on his shoulder. “Aw. I know you would.” After a few moments, she eased away a little and turned to face him. “I'm going to make the offer for all of that, but not because I'm trying to make up for all the lies.” She cringed. “Okay, well, maybe that's part of it. But Lena was more like a mother to me during those weeks than my own mother ever was. I want to help their family if I can. Ethan would want me to.”

“Are you going to tell her you lost that little book?”

Charlotte sighed. “I don't know.” She grunted, slapping her hand to her leg. “I cannot believe I did that. I am so mad at myself. When I was reading that man's butterfly book, I must have set Ethan's notebook on the seat beside me, or it fell on the floor—something. Speaking of, I need to try to get that book back to that sweet old man.” Frowning, she shook her head. “I bet the flight attendant didn't look very hard. But to answer your question, no, I don't think I'll tell Hannah that just yet, even in a letter. She's got enough going on with her mother. I'm going to, um . . . I'm going to pray about it.” Smiling at Ryan, she added, “I do a lot of that these days. And I am never going to tell another lie for the rest of my life.”

“We talked about that. Sometimes it's hard.” Ryan leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “I'll pray about it too. But for now, I gotta go.”

“So soon?” Charlotte stood up when he did and walked with him to the front door of her apartment.

“Yeah, I've got an early meeting in the morning I need to get ready for this evening, and you have work to do. Dinner was fantastic.” He kissed her gently, lingering as he put his hand around the back of her neck. “But I'm still waiting on some homemade bread.”

“That was a low-calorie dinner. But I promise I'll make you some bread soon now that I have the recipe. Although, no guarantees. I learned a few things from
Lena and Hannah toward the end of my stay, but I'm still no expert in the kitchen.”

“I'll call you later.” He kissed her again before he left.

Charlotte decided not to wait until tomorrow to write Hannah back. After she'd showered and wrapped up her editorial notes, she crawled into bed and positioned on her lap the same yellow pad she'd used in Pennsylvania. How was she ever going to be able to articulate how she felt? Once again, she prayed. This time for God to give her the words.

Dear Hannah,

I was so happy to receive your letter, but also very sad to hear about your mother. Please know that I am willing and able to do whatever you might need me to do. Lena is welcome to stay with me. I'll take her to her treatments at the hospital, and care for her. Please let me do this. I know I can't make up for the lies I told you and your family, but I care deeply about all of you. I miss you. I knew I couldn't stay there forever, but you were the closest thing to a real family I've ever had. And for what it's worth, I can completely understand why Ethan wanted to be there.

She paused, fearing that Ethan's reason for taking his life would haunt her forever.

I know now that we can reach out to God from anywhere on the planet, but for me . . . I met the Lord and got to know Him while I was in Pennsylvania, so your home and family will always hold a special place in my heart. I wanted so badly to blame someone for Ethan's death, to believe that he'd been brainwashed. I know now how wrong I was. I am begging for your forgiveness.

It gives me great comfort to know that Ethan wasn't romantically involved with Edna. I just didn't think it was in Ethan's DNA to cheat. Someday, you'll have to tell me what the picture was all about. And I am also glad that things are working out with you and Isaac. He was a friend to me, and he seems to be a really good guy. I am spending a lot of time with my friend Ryan, and just like you and Isaac, we have known each other for years.

I don't feel like the same person that I was when I arrived in Pennsylvania. I'd like to feel that I'm a better person, or at the least, working hard to be a better person. I want very much to help your mother. And I would very much like for us to be friends. I think that would have made Ethan happy, and I miss you. Please call me.

Many blessings and love,
Charlotte

She leaned back against her pillow and closed her eyes, knowing there would come a point when Hannah would ask if Charlotte read the book. And since Charlotte
was determined not to lie, maybe it was best she'd lost it. The old Charlotte would have thought that God was punishing her somehow by denying her resolve about Ethan. But even though Ethan's reasons for killing himself might linger for a long time, she knew that God wasn't punishing her. He wanted her to be happy, for all of His children to be happy, and through free will, that was possible. Somehow, her not knowing about Ethan was part of His overall plan, and she'd have to live with that, trusting that God knew what was best.

The next morning, she checked her e-mail and then decided to take a walk to the nearby park. She felt lighter than usual, almost as if through prayer, God was slowly lifting her burdens, making it easier to walk without the weight of worry and fear on her shoulders. She was dedicated to staying in the light of the Lord, where no matter what happened, she was determined to keep her trust in Him, that He always had a plan.

She slipped the letter to Hannah in the outgoing mail slot outside her apartment building, and when she saw a butterfly near her, she held her arms parallel to the ground, surprised that it landed on her hand. She couldn't help but wonder if the butterfly brought a message, was an angel, or just a reminder of the beauty that surrounds all of us.

After her walk, Charlotte stopped at the cluster of mailboxes for her complex, and turned the key in her personal mailbox, grumbling under her breath at the way
the mailman had stuffed a package into the small space, a package that should have been left at the manager's office for Charlotte to pick up. Once she wrangled it out, she saw that the return address was Bush Continental Airport in Houston, and her heart leapt from her chest as she ripped it open.

“Ethan's journal,” she whispered as she unfolded the letter she'd almost ripped in half during the process. She gingerly ran her hand over the symbols on the front. Ryan had told her at the airport when she'd described the book to him that Alpha and Omega were derived from the statement said by Jesus in Revelation about being the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

Charlotte held the book, the letter, and the envelope to her chest, and ran back to her apartment, pushing the elevator button repeatedly until it dinged to go up. Barely over the threshold, she dropped her purse, keys, envelope, and letter on the floor before she kicked the door closed behind her. She went straight to her computer, something Hannah could have done if she'd known how.

She went to Google and typed in: Pig Latin to English Translator, and several sites pulled up. Her heart raced as she thought about all the times she and Ethan had played the word game when they were kids, even though their mother hated it. She could recall getting a hard slap across the face for using it because her mother couldn't understand what they were saying to each other.

Recalling the rules, a consonant or consonant cluster at the beginning of a word got moved to the end of the word and “ay” was added. She could have figured all of this out on her own but it would have taken forever. This way she could just type it into the translator, which was still going to take some time, but not nearly as long as deciphering the code manually after all these years. She opened to the first page, then chose a translator online. She typed in the first few sentences and hit Enter. And right away, she knew that things had not been as they'd seemed.

Isaac stood alongside his mother, both of them watching Isaac's father on the plow, guiding the mules in preparation of the fall harvest. It was the first time in over three years that his father had been on the plow.

“What made him decide to tackle this by himself all of a sudden?” Isaac stared in wonderment and thanks. Maybe Isaac could start on the
daadi haus
, especially since things were progressing with him and Hannah. There would be several weddings coming up following the harvest, and weddings always seemed to ignite romance for the ladies. He was in love with Hannah, but he hadn't told her yet. He hoped that this time next year they would be getting ready for their own wedding.

Isaac's mother sighed, shaking her head. “Maybe he
got tired of plotting and planning to chop me up for firewood.” She laughed out loud and playfully slapped Isaac on the arm.

“Mamm
, you laugh every time you say that out loud, but it's really not funny.” He scowled, but couldn't help but grin when she laughed again.

“First of all, your father just needed a dose of tough love to realize that he wasn't half a man, the way he always referred to himself. And his medication did seem to be playing with his head. He hasn't mentioned chopping me up in weeks.” She bent at the waist and snorted as she laughed, then quickly straightened, forced composure, and smoothed the wrinkles in her black apron. “Besides, I would have kicked that fake leg of his right out from underneath him if he'd come at me with an axe.”